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VOICE TO YOUTH, 



ADDRESSED TO 



YOUNG MEN AND YOUNG LADIES. 



BY REV. J. M. AUSTIN. 



REVISED STEREOTYPE EDITION. 



< 



NEW YORK: 



PUBLISHED BY J. BOLLES, 

57 FULTON STKEET. 

■ 1847. 



r\ 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 
1838, by Ghosh & Hutchinson, in the Clerk's Office 
of the District Court of the United States, for the North- 
ern District of New- York. 



CONTENTS. 



A VOICE TO YOUTH. 

Introduction. 1 

Chapter I. — The necpssity of reflection. 10 

Chapter II. — Claims on Youth. 17 

Chapter III. — Formation of character. 27 

Chapter IV.— The good opinion of others. 34 

Chapter V. — On reading. 40 

Chapter VI. — Practical observation. 54 

Chapter VII. — Independence of mind. 61 

Chapter VIII.— Politeness. 70 

Chapter IX.— Letter Writing. , 82 

Chapter X. — Religious opinions. dS 

Chapter XL— Treatment of religious error. t(»t 

A VOICE TO YOUNG MEN. 

Chapter I.— Introduction — Selection of associates. 117 

Chapter II.— Temptations. 125 

Chapter III.— The habits. 136 

Chapter IV. — Conversation. 161 

Chapter V. — Amusements. 173 

Chapter VI.— Dress. 181 

Chapter VII. — General Demeanor. 188 
Chapter VIIL— Cultivating the mind. • 201 

Chapter IX.— Establishing fixed principles. 214 

Chapter X. — Stability of purpose. 222 

Chapter XL— Politics. 230 

Chapter XIL— Marriage. 236 



IV 



A VOICE TO YOUNG LADIES. 

Chapter I. — Introduction. 253 

Chapter II. — Female influence. 261 

Chapter III. — Early associates. 277 

Chapter IV. — Forming the manners. 284 

Chapter V.— The habits. 298 

Chapter VI. — Domestic duties. 310 

Chapter VII.— Dress. 321 

Chapter VIII. — Recreations. 332 

Chapter IX. — Mental cultivation. 341 

Chapter X. — The disposition. 350 

Chapter XL — Conversation. 358 

Chapter XII. — Self-government. 369 

Chapter XIII.— Marriage. 379 



INTRODUCTION 



Early youth is justly considered the most in- 
' teresting and important, yet dangerous period ol 
human existence. It is interesting^ because of the 
innocence, the hilarity, and the zest for enjoy- 
ment, which is then evinced. The mind, like the 
morning flower, at this period begins more fully 
to open its leaves to be impressed with the enli- 
vening rays of the sun of knowledge, and evinces 
by the gradual developement of its powers, that 
its possessor belongs to a grade of beings vastly 
more elevated than the brute creation. Youth is 
the most important time of life, masmuch as the 
habits then begin to lay their foundations — the 
character commences its formation, and the occu- 
pation is to be chosen — upon which depend main- 
ly, the enjoyments and prosperity of after life. 
And it is the most dangerous period, because, 
ardent, volatile, inexperienced, and thirsting for 
happiness, the young are exceedingly liable to be 
seduced into wrong paths — into those fascinating, 
but fatal ways, which lead to degradation and 
wretchedness. It is at this season, that the sports 
md amusements of childhood, lose their charm, 
md their influei ce. Childish things are put away 

1 



^ INTRODUCTION. 

and there commences a desire for, and a lootring 
after more mature, yet more dangerous sources of 
enjoyment. 

As the gallant bark leaves the secure haven to 
go out upon the bosom of the mighty deep, with 
its snow white sails spread to the inviting wind, 
its broad flag and gay streamers floating in air- 
bounding o'er the billows •'^as a thing of life," and 
wholly unconscious that Ocean, in its far regions, 
is nursing the whirlwind and the storm — so youth 
launches upon the vast sea of life, decked with 
all those gay and bright fancies which the imagi- 
nation vividly paints in the morniag of exist- 
ence ; spreads the wide expanded sails of hope, 
and fain would believe that an ever- favoring breeze 
will speedily waft to prosperity and peace.\ But 
the young should be aware that, as the wide waste 
of waters is ploughed into the mountain wave by 
the fury of the wind, so the sea of life is often 
swept by howling tempests of disappointment and 
misfortune; and that upon the one, as upon the 
other, unless they are guided by the pilots, wis- 
dom and discretion, shrpyvTecked hopes and blast- 
ed anticipations must ensue. 

Young ladies and young gentlemen — I crave 
your attention for a sl^ort season, from time to 
time, as I proceed in a series of Essays, on a 
variety of subjects intimately connected with youi 
welfare and happiness. Will yoU lend me a lis- 
tening ear? Will you occasionally devote an 
hour, to hear what I have to offer upon topics, 



I?3TR0DUCTI0N. 3 

which you will acknowledge are of the utmost 
importance to your peace and prosperity ? Come, 
sit down with me, and in a friendly manner, we 
will converse upon those things which pertain to 
your future success in life. I am aware that,supon. 
the ears of some youth, the word advice grates 
harshly. But I attribute this dislike more to the 
improper manner in which they have been in- 
structed, than to any natural bias. Parents and 
instructors often seem to imagine there is no 
method to advise the young, but in the harsh 
tones of reproof and upbraiding. And the effect 
of such a course, is to harden those whom they 
would benefit, and cause them to dislike every 
thing which comes in the form of counsel. Ad- 
vice, to be effectual, must be clothed in words of 
affection and kindness, and accompanied with a 
tender regard for the feelings of those to whom it 
is tendered ; and it should be given in such man- 
ner as not to imply the degradation of those who 
are its objects. Communicated in this manner, 
I think it cannot truly be said, that, as a general 
rule, youth are averse to counsel. Nevertheless, 
it IS well known that one of the common failings 
of the young, is to be wise in their own conceit — 
to imagine they can get along quite well of them- 
selves, and that they can discover coming evils 
and avoid them, as readily as their elders in life. 
This wisdom, however, is of a premature growth, 
and generally passes away as age advances ; but 
often, not until it has involved its possessor in 



4 INTRODUCTION. 

troubles and misfortunes which sometimes extencl 
through life. Hence have arisen those common 
sayings, that youth is wiser at fifteen than at 
thirty — i. e. in its own estimation — and that the 
first indication of true wisdom in the young, is, 
their ascertaining and acknowledging how little 
they do, in realityj know. 

Listen ! You desire to be happy — you thirst 
for enjoyment. This is natural, and it is proper. 
God has designedly implanted this desire within 
you, and he is perfectly willing that you should 
gratify it in the proper manner ! But, remember 
that in this, as in every thing ^Ise, there is aright 
way and a wrong way to accomplish your object. 
If you adopt the right way, the desired good is 
speedily obtained and enjoyed. But if, unhap- 
pily, you select the wrong way, so far from secu- 
ring the wished for happiness, you will reap nought 
but misfortune, degradation and wretchedness. 
And m pursuing this wrong course, however you 
may imagine, for a season, under the fascinations 
which evil often assumes, that you have found the 
real enjoyment desired, you will ere long discov- 
er — and often too late — that you have embraced 
a gilded shadow, filled with human wo, Avhile the 
actual good is far from you. You can but per- 
ceive, therefore, the critical condition in which 
you stand, and the importance and necessity ot 
obtaining counsel in regard to your future con- 
duct. 

Wore you abjut to travel into a far land, ai 



INTROUUCTION. 9 

^trainger to the way, and though conscious that 
your course would be surrounded by innumerable 
dangers, yet ignorant of their nature and of the 
best means to avoid them, how anxious would 
you be to obtain information and advice! Pru- 
dence, and the desire of self-preservation, would 
dictate the propriety of seeking some individual 
who had travelled the road, or the most danger- 
ous portions of it, and of obtaining his instrue- 
tion in relation to the nature and situation of those 
dangers, and his advice regarding measures to es- 
cape them. And what is life, but a journey to a 
distant clime, upon an untried highway? This 
important journey the young are just commen- 
cing. Undoubtedly, in the exuberance of youth- 
ful fancy, all appears fair and bright before you. 
Vivid imagination strews your pathway with the 
gayest and sweetest flowers of existence. How 
bright and beautiful is the future pictured to the 
young mind ! No clouds or darkness intervene 
to throw a shade of sadness on the fair prospect 
of youth's morning, 

" Gay are the flowers without a thoni, 
And bright the hues of opening day; 
Wild music lingers in its bowel's — 
Grateful the fragrance of its flowers — 
And all betokens bhss. 
Hope weaves her wild enchanting song, 
And sings at every path along, 
That all shall be like this." 

But notwithstanding the captivating visions of the 
imagination, and the sweet whisperings of hopej 
you well know that your way will be beset by 
many, many dangers. Appearances are often very 
1* 



e tNTROfiUCTinpj. 

deceitful. '' Poisonous berries frequently look 
tempting to the appetite — ice, when it sometimes 
seems sound, if ventured upon, will break, and 
let him who is daring into the waters — and the 
wise man says, that 'wine, when it giveth its 
color in the cup, at the last biteth like a serpent, 
and slingeth like an adder.'" The rose grows in 
close proximity to the thorn, and beneath the fair- 
est flowers, sometimes nestle the poisonous rep- 
tile and the envenomed scorpion. Permit not, 
then, the beauty in which your fancy paints the 
future, to lull you into false security in respect to 
the dangers which that future conceals, or to the 
necessity of guarding yourselves against them. 
It rather becomes your safety and interest, as well 
as duty, to seek diligently for all the instruction 
and knowledge which can throw light upon your 
way, in the intricate and uneven windings of 
earthly existence. 

Are additional inducements necessary, to cause 
you to listen to counsel and admonition? Look 
abroad into the world. Here is an mdividual who 
enjoys the respect and confidence of community. 
The aged venerate him, and " the young rise up 
and call him blessed." He has no enemies — all 
are his friends — all speak well of him, all confide 
in him. How has he obtained this universal 
esteem? — how has he ascended this eminence of 
respect? You anticipate the reply. In seeking 
for happiness, he consulted the experience of 
those who had travelled before him — he studied 



INTR0i5UCTlON. 7 

the history of his race, and marked where others 
had failed, that he might avoid their errors — he 
listened patiently to words of advice, and in this 
way, found the true path and faithfully pursued 
it, and is now enjoying the prosperity and peace 
to which it conducts. But another picture pre- 
sents itself for our contemplation. There is a 
man whose condition is directly the reverse. He 
is shunned and despised by all around him. Not 
because he is poor ; but because his poverty has 
been caused by profligacy and vice. The good 
avoid him as a moving pestilence — the virtuous 
point to him as a warning to their children of the 
sad effects of iniquity — and even his vicious com- 
panions are ashamed of him. Follow him in his 
miserable career. He mingles with the refuse^ 
the outcasts of society; for they alone will be- 
come his associates — he becomes familiar with 
the alms-house, the penitentiary, and finally ends 
his days in ignominy upon the gallows ! Is it not 
important to inquire into the cause of the dispa- 
rity between the condition of this man, and of the 
other, whom we noticed ? How did he become 
involved in so much infamy and wretchedness? 
Was it his own choice ? — did he desire and seek 
degradation and ruin? No. In the outset of life, 
his desires were as those of the youth who is now 
perusing these lines. He wished to enjoy him- 
self through life, precisely as you do. He in- 
tended to take the best measures to accomplish 
this desire^ as is now undoubtedly your determi- 



« INTRODUCTION. 

nation — and he no move foresaw or expected that 
he should end his days in infamy, the object of 
scorn and disgust, than are such thoughts now 
dwelling in your mind. But, alas ! he selected 
the wrong path ! He deemed himself very wise — 
he knew much better than others in more advan- 
ced life, where and how he could obtain true 
enjoyment — he desired no light or instruction 
upon this subject— he turned an ear deaf as the 
adder's, to all the counsel, the advice and admo- 
nition of parents, relatives, friends — and with 
headstrong and willing blindness, strided on in 
•that way which eventually involved him in the 
vortex of disgrace and ruin ! Do you desire youir 
condition to become like his? No — no — say one 
and all ! And yet it amounts almost to a certain- 
ty, that such, or similar, will be your condition, 
if you imitate his example in the commencement 
of life. But that example, I trust, you have no 
desire to follow ; but rather are more wisely in- 
clined to obtain all the information in your pow- 
er, on those subjects connected intimately with 
your welfare and happiness. 

Hearken, then, to one who, though compara- 
tively not far advanced in years, yet may be con- 
sidered past the most dangerous period of youth — 
one who has mixed not a little with the world — 
tasted of its sweets and its bitter — been a learner 
in the school of experience, and as usual, paid 
dearly for some of the knowledge which he has 
thus obtained — and who, not having yet, by rea- 



INTRpDUCTlON. U 

son of age, lost the vivid Impressions thus en- 
stamped upon his mind, is enabled more readily 
to appreciate the peculiarities of your situation, 
and to realize to a good degree, the nature of the 
dangers around you. I would speak to you as a 
brother— I would warn, advise, and counsel, as 
one deeply interested in your welfare and pros- 
perity. I have no wish to deprive you of a single 
enjoyment, that is proper for you, as intellectual 
and moral beings — and surely, as wise youth, you 
can desire to participate in none other. 1 shall 
make no efforts to frighten you mto compliance 
with the advice imparted ; but shall appeal exclu- 
sively to your reason, your good sense, to con- 
vince you of the propriety of doing that which 
will enhance your respectability and true happi- 
ness, and of avoiding those things which will in- 
volve you in disgrace and wretchedness — that if 
possible, I may benefit those whom I address. 

In carrying my design into execution, I shall 
first address both sexes indiscriminately, upon 
those subjects in which it may be supposed they 
are mutually interested. In the next place, my 
remarks will be confined exclusively to those 
topics which pertain to young men. And lastly, 
the vouns: ladies will be addressed. 



CHAPTER I. 

THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 

By reflection, I would signify, the habit of 
often and seriously meditating upon the various 
topics connected with your prosperity and enjoy- 
ments. On arriving at years of understanding, 
you perceive that the race to which you belong, 
exists in company with countless grades of other 
creatures. And you also discover that man is ele- 
vated far above, and is, indeed, ruler over all oth- 
er forms of earthly existence. The cause of this 
exaltation, it can not fail to be perceived, arises 
from the superior faculties with which you are 
endowed — the intellectual and moral capacities 
which compose the mind. These mental powers 
make man all that he is — the sage, the philoso • 
pher, the mathematician, the astronomer — capa- 
ble of penetrating deep into the operations of Na- 
ture's la^vs — capable of converting the elements 
to his purposes, and of ascending high the infinite 
scale of attainable knowledge. Take from the 
liuman race these powers, and the bright chain 

iO 



THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. II 

wiiich links them to a higher world, to a more 
lofty grade of beings, is severed, and they sink to 
the level of the brutes — differing from them only 
in form and feature. For what purpose are these 
ennobling faculties bestovi^ed upon you? — tare- 
main idle and dormant? Surely not. Nature 
never imparts any power but for use. To animals 
is granted instinct for their guidance and control ; 
and the dictates of this instinct, which is ever in 
active operation, they invariably follow while life 
endures. But to man has been given the higher 
power of reason, for a similar purpose — to direct 
and govern him in his intercourse with his felloAv- 
beings. These mental faculties in man, should 
no more be idle, than is instinct in brutes. And 
a neglect in ihe one case, would be as deleteri- 
ous to the enjoyments of its possessor, as in the 
other. 

The habit of exercising the mind in reflection 
upon the future, as well as the past and present, 
is one of the most valuable that can be established. 
And yet it is one, in regard to which, the young 
are extremely liable to fail. The present — the 
present — with its amusements and its gayeties, 
absorbs the greater proportion of their thoughts, 
And when they occasionally glance at the future, 
it is too often, but to dress it in the bright attire 
of the imagination — in the blooming garlands of 
life's sweetest pleasures. I would not unneces- 
sarily overshadow present enjoyments, by the 
gloomy clouds of future anticipated evils. But 



12 THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 

the young should bear ia mind the truth of the 
stanzas — 

"The beam of the morning, the bud of the Spring, 

The promise of beauty and brightness may brmg ; 

But cloufls gather darkness, and, touched by the fi'ost, 

The pride of tlic plant and the morning are lost. 

Thus the bright and the beautiful ever decay, 

Life's morn and life's flowers— O, they quick pass away !" 

It is important that youth should remember these 
things, because they are true ; and because a 
knowledge of them may inspire the mind with a 
sense of the importance of frequently casting 
your thoughts into the future, to select your course 
of life, rather than to rush blindfolded along. 
When the ship approaches a dangerous coast, a 
" look out" is stationed, to warn of the approach 
to reef or breaker. So the young, in navigating 
the dangerous voyage of life, should establish 
reflection as the " look out," to give timely notice 
of those fatal shoals of imprudence and vice, 
upon which so many, originally possessing the 
brightest prospects have been wrecked. 

There are many advantages accruing from a 
well established habit of reflection. It will ena- 
ble you to form those just conceptions of your 
nature and constitution, and of the laws by which 
they are governed, that will make you wise in re- 
gard to the true sources of your happiness. It 
will show the vast distinction between those en- 
joyments that are proper to you, as intellectual 
beings, and those belonging more expressly to 
your animal nature. Reflection will convince you 
that your higher faculties are bestowed upon you, 



THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 13 

to become sources of more pure, elevated and 
lasting enjoyments, than can possibly be experi- 
enced from the passions. It will teach you that 
the individuals who forget or overlook these evi- 
dent truths, and who depend for all their happi 
ness, upon the indulgence of evil propensities, not 
only disgrace themselves, and the race to which 
they belong, but are deprived of all the advanta- 
ges of the higher poAvers bestowed upon them, 
and might as well have been created the brute, as 
for any important benefit which they obtain from 
these valuable sources. It will convince you that 
those in this condition, are in a bondage, deep, 
disgraceful and miserable— a bondage to be feared 
more deeply than prisons, chains and fetters. It 
will satisfy you that " man was created for pur- 
poses high and noble— such as angels engage in, 
and in comparison with which, all other objects 
sink into insignificance, and all other enjoyments 
are contemptible as ashes." 

Reflection is an important safe-guard in select- 
ing associates, forming habits, choosing occupa- 
tions, and, indeed, in all that concerns youth. — 
The young man or the young woman who thinks 
deeply, will act wisely. Thev will be aware of 
the nature of the dangers which hover around 
their path, and therefore, will act cautiously and 
safely. They will be enabled to penetrate those 
specious appearances in which vice so frequently 
presents itself— they will look beneath the gaudy 
veil which so often covers the deformities of sin, 
2 



14 THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 

and behold the native blackness of the monster. 
They will be aware that "all isnotgold that glit- 
ters," and will readily detect the gilded imitation 
when it would occupy the place of the pure metaL 
They will weigh well the influences and the ef- 
fects of every important step, and not be led as- 
tray by the deceitful devices of the transgressor. 

How few, who are now advanced in years, would 
not act materially different Avere they to pass over 
the track of life again ! Experience has taught 
them wisdom. In looking back upon their his- 
tory, they can clearly perceive where they have 
been mistaken, where they have failed, where they 
have acted foolishly. And could they again pass 
through life, this dearly bought wisdom would 
enable them to amend where they before had gone 
counter to their true welfare. How many, when 
it is too late, unavailingly regret, that in early 
years, they had not been more reflective and cau- 
tious. The young are now, where the aged would 
desire to be, to do better than they have done. 
But as this can not be, they willingly impart their 
wisdom and experience to youth, to enable them to 
avoid those evils which they experienced. Those 
who have failed, readily instruct you where they 
missed their way ; and all wise youth will listen 
and reflect deeply on their suggestions. Solo- 
mon says — " A wise man will hear, and will in- 
crease learning; and a man of understanding 
shall attain unto wise counsels." There is no 
indica/ion more promising in youth, than a desire 



THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 15 

to hear counsel in regard to their future conduct* 
And when such listen to words of instruction, 
they will treasure them up as food for future 
meditation. 

Permit me to impress upon the minds of all 
the youth who read these lines, the importance of 
seeking for wise counsel, and of bestowing much 
thought and reflection upon all those subjects 
connected with their prosperity. Meditate not 
only on those affairs which are transacting around 
yoU) but upon the prospects of the future which 
open to your view. Reflect upon the sources of 
human happiness and human wo — ascertain the 
real causes of peace and satisfaction on the one 
hand, and of degradation and wretchedness on the 
other. Examine with thoughtful care, the his- 
tory of your race, and the history of those of 
your acquaintance who are advanced in years. — 
Ascertain and remember what has caused one in- 
dividual to be respected and loved, while another 
is shunned and despised. And where you per- 
ceive that others have failed, do you remedy ; for 
let it always be remembered, that the same causes 
which led others to infamy and ruin, will involve 
you in the same disastrous circumstances, if you 
place yourselves within their influence. Medi- 
tate seriously upon the dangers which surround 
the path of the young. Were you pursuing a 
solitary road, around which you had reason to 
apprehend lurked the deadly assassin, how cau- 
tiously would you proceed — with what vigilance 



16 THE NECESSITY OF REFI.EC FION. 

and watchfulness would you examine every object 
you approached. But remember, there are legions 
of foes hovering around the pathway of life, ready 
to assail you at every opportunity — they are the 
human vices. They will beset you at every turn, 
and fasten upon you with all their accompanying 
woes, unless warded off by a firm and determined 
opposition. But let cautious reflection be your 
handmaid, and you will be enabled, in a good de- 
gree, to withstand the temptations which surround 
you, and to walk in that wise path wherein lies 
every pure earthly enjoyment. 



CHAPTER II 



CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 



The y oung should be fully aware that there are 
claims upon them, of the most important and en- 
during nature. And it is highly necessary, that 
they should become acquainted with the charac- 
ter of these claims, that they may qualify them- 
selves to discharge them in an efficient manner. 

1. Society has claims on the Young. — In every 
civilized and well regulated community, there are 
certain important duties, of a public and general 
character, which must be properly discharged, to 
insure the safety and welfare of its members. — 
Those who now execute these trusts will soon 
become old and pass from the stage of life. They 
cannot alw-ays remain, to instruct by their wis- 
dom, and guide by their counsels; but as time's 
unceasing wheels roll on, they recede from our 
view, and no more mingle with us. " I look 
forward a few short years, and see the aspect of 
society entirely changed. The venerable fathers 
who have borne the heat and burden of the day, 
2* 17 



18 tLAlMS ON YOUTH. 

are dropping, one after another into the grave, 
and soon they will be gone. Of those, too, who 
are now the acting members of society, some 
have passed th^ meridian of life, others are pass- 
ing it, and all will soon be going down its decline, 
to mingle with the generations Avho have disap- 
peared before them from this transient scene of 
action. To a mind seriously contemplating this 
fact, it is an inquiry of deep interest — who are 
to rise up and fill their places ? To whom are to 
he committed the invaluable interests of society ? 
who are to sustain its responsibilities and dis- 
charge its duties? You anticipate the answer."* 
It is upon the young that these duties and respon- 
cibilities will devolve. You will soon be called 
to occupy all the various stations now held by 
those more advanced in life. You will become 
parents, and guardians, and directors in all that 
pertains to the welfare of society. Soon will it 
depend upon you to determine, whether religion, 
morality and virtue shall prevail and shed theif 
benign influences upon community, or whether 
infidelity, immorality and deep corruption, shall 
blight all that is valuable in our midst. Soon 
will it oe your prerogative to declare, whethet 
institutions of learning shall be fostered anci 
multiplied, sending their light into the dark 
abodes of ignorance and raising man to that ele- 
V!- lion in knowledge for which his faculties so 

♦Hawes' Lectures. 



CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 19 

eminently fit him, or whether the darkness and 
ignorance of ancient times, with all their follies, 
iheir superstitions and wretchedness, shall re- 
turn and shut out the beams of science and art, 
and plunge this happy land into degradation and 
ruin. Soon will it be with you to decide, whether 
wholesome restraints, good order, harmony and 
peace, shall prevail and continue to impart their 
blessings, or whether all shall be unbridled profli- 
gacy and wild anarchy. Soon will it be in your 
power to perpetuate and hand down to succeeding 
generations, those wonderful improvements in the 
arts and sciences, and in all that pertains to our 
prosperity, which have so eminently characterized 
the present age, and which are sending their 
blessings to earth's far ends, or whether the spirit 
of improvement shall be arrested in its valuable 
career, all anticipations of future exaltation and 
perfection be cut off, and the mind, with its high 
capabilities, made to stagnate in stupid indolence ! 
In fine, all those interests which render life a 
blessing, will ere long come into the keeping and 
control, and be at the disposal of those who are 
now youog. 

Do you not, then, perceive that society has 
claims, deep, abiding, important claims upon you? 
And how will you answer them? Surely I can 
receive but one reply to this inquiry, from all 
youth of reflection and forethought. You un- 
doubtedly discover the propriety, yea, the urgent 
necessity of preparing to discharge these claims 



20 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 

with honor to yourselves and advantage to your 
fellow-beings. It becomes you, therefore, to 
study diligently the character of our government 
and the genius of our institutions — to meditate 
upon the peculiar character of the privileges and 
blessing which we, as a people, enjoy — to reflect 
upon the nature of the true interests of society, 
and of the most efficient modes of forwarding 
them. As a spur to these duties, you have but 
to reflect upon the immense sacrifice of treasure 
and of life, by which our numerous advantages 
were obtained. The blood of our fathers cries 
to us from the stained battle-fields of old, to cher- 
ish "as the apple of the eye," those exalted privi- 
leges, which it was shed to obtain. To this voice 
you will not turn a deaf ear. Permit not selfish- 
ness to chill your energies in this work of prepa- 
ration. Let it be remembered that you are bound 
by a thousand ties, to your fellow-beings — your 
interests and enjoyments are indissolubly inter- 
woven with theirs — and, therefore, in discharging 
public duties, and advancing public prosperity, 
you are but securing your own welfare and hap- 
piness. " He who does no good, gets none. He 
who cares not for others, will soon find that others 
will not care for him." He who neglects public 
interests, has no just right to expect that the pub- 
lic will cherish his : and the tendency of such 
neglect, is to produce this result. 

2. The world has claims upon the youth of this 
land. — Here, under the blessings of Fleaven, our 



CLAIMS ON YOUTH. ^t 

fathers were enabled to establish a government 
upon the broad principles of civil and religious 
freedom. Here man enjoys all those rights to 
which, as an intellectual, religious and social be- 
ing he is entitled by nature and immutable equity. 
Here we are blessed with every privilege and with 
every means of comfort and happiness that can 
be expected in this imperfect state of existence. 
Here we enjoy liberty of speech, liberty of the 
presSj liberty on all matters* connected with reli^ 
gion, liberty in every respect, as far as accounta- 
ble beings can possess it. 

But let it be remembered that here only, are 
these privileges enjoyed. In every other section 
of the globe, mankind are deprived, to a greater 
or less extent, of these blessings of freedom. — 
Except in this land, justice, equality and liberty, 
in their true acceptation, are unknown on earth; 
and man's dearest rights are trampled beneath the 
iron hoof of tyranny ! Among the greater pro- 
portion of mankind, all that elevates human na- 
ture, and causes it to put forth its high powers 
and capabilities, is wanting. Now if the nations 
of the earth are ever to become emancipated, it 
must be accomplished by the spirit which goes 
forth from this people—by the example which 
the inhabitants of these United States, set before 
the world. Let the flame of liberty which has 
been kindled in this land, continue to burn in its 
pristine splendor, and in due time, its pure and 
holy light will penetrate and dispel the darkness 



22 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 

of Other hemispheres. It will flash from land to 
land, from shore to shore, from the rivers even 
unto the ends of the earth — until man, every 
where, shall enjoy all those rights which his Cre- 
ator has made him capable of exercising. But if 
the principles of freedom here established, become 
neglected — if the love for its blessings be swal- 
lowed up by selfishness, ignorance or corruption — 
the sacred flame will be quenched in darkness, 
the hopes of millions will expire, and earth again 
become a universal Aceldama ! 

And upon whom depends the preservation and 
perpetuity of our free institutions? Upon the 
young, does this high responsibility rest ! Our 
fathers obtained the invaluable boon of liberty, 
by their sufferings and perseverance ; and it de* 
volves upon the generation now coming upon the 
stage of action, to determine the question, wheth- 
er their toils and blood shall prove unavailing, or 
whether the fruits of their labor shall descend to 
posterity. Upon the young of the present age, 
depends to a great degree, the solution of the im- 
portant problem, whether man is capable of gov- 
erning himself — capable of enjoying liberty, 
without licentiousness and anarchy — or whether 
he can only be restrained by tyranny and oppres- 
sion. This great experiment is now in progress; 
and the eyes of the philanthropist and the patriot — 
the eyes of the enslaved and the oppressed, 
throughout the world — are turned towards this 
land, and fixed, mtensely fixed, upon the young 



CLAIMS ON YODTK. 23 

especially ! With deep anxiety do tliey watch 
for every indication which shall develope the 
nature of the principles which are cherished, and 
which will, ere long, be brought into a testing 
activity, by the youth of this Union. 

The world, thus, has claims — important claims, 
upon the young of this nation — claims recognized 
by philanthropy and humanity. The voice of en- 
slaved millions, comes up on every breeze, be- 
seeching the young, who are soon to become the 
pillars of our republic, to cherish and to feed that 
flame of freedom, whose light they behold at a 
far distance, until they shall be enabled to bask 
in its grateful beams. Will you not listen to these 
cries ? — will you not recognize these claims, and 
be admonished of the importance of the position 
which you occupy ? " Never, since the creation, 
were the youth of any age or country, so imperi- 
ously called upon to exert themselves, as those of 
this country. Never, before, were there so many 
important interests at stake. Never were such 
immense results depending upon a generation of 
men, as upon that which is now approaching the 
stage of action. The rising millions of this laud, 
are destined, according to all human probability, 
to form by far the greatest nation that ever con- 
stituted an entire community of freemen, since 
the world began. To form the character of these 
millions, involves a greater amount of responsi- 
bility, individual and collective, than any other 
work to which humanity has ever been called. 



24 CLAIBIS ON YOUTH. 

Now, it is for you, my young friends, to deter- 
mine whether these weighty responsibilities shall 
be fulfilled. It is for you to decide, whether this 
greatest of free nations, shall at the same time be 
the bestJ""^ How important that the young should 
qualify themselves for the discharge of the high 
responsibilities thus resting upon them ! How 
necessary that they should study the nature of 
enlightened liberty, and of the most effectual 
means of perpetuating our valuable institutions, 
with all their increasing blessings, down to pos- 
terity If 

3. Your Maker has claims upon you. — These 
claims are paramount to all others. He has given 
you life, sensation, and all the valuable endow- 

* Young Man's Guide. 

+ Lel not the ladies imagine the remarks under this 
and the preceding heads, inapplicable to themselves. I 
deem them highly appropriate to their consideration. — 
Although it would be improper for ihem to become poli- 
ticians, in the general acceptation of that word — yet that 
they can exert a powerful and endunng influence, either 
for good or evil, upon the institutions of our country, is 
an undoubted truth. They can most sensibly affect the 
characters of brothers, husbands and especially sons. — 
They can influence them to public virtue and usefulness, 
to an interest in the welfare of the nation and the riglits 
of mankind — or stupify them into negiigence and inat- 
tention. In what work more worthy and important, can a 
mother engage, than instilling into the mind of a son, a 
lovo for the public good, and for the principles of civil and 
religious liberty ! I4et females, therefore, be interested m 
these topics, as subjects with which their happiness is in- 
timately blended. Evt.ry woman should become familiar 
with the principles of our system of government, and 
with tliuse peculiar characteristics which render it prefer- 
able to all other foruis. 



CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 23 

ments and capabilities which you possess. He 
has greatly elevated you in the vast scale of 
being, and given you dominion over all other 
forms of earthly existence. He has bestowed 
upon you numerous advantages in political and 
religious respects — permitting you to exist under 
the sway of just and equitable laws, which insure 
you " liberty and the pursuit of happiness," and en- 
able you to worship God as your conscience dic- 
tates. In the land vvfhere your lot has been cast, 
every thing that can conduce to human improve- 
ment, elevation and happiness, is profusely scat- 
tered round. These blessings have come from the 
goodness of your Creator. Unsolicited and unmer- 
ited on your part, has he thus lavished the highest 
of earthly favors upon you; and you are honestly 
indebted to him for them. The Deity, therefore, 
has lasting claims upon you, to discharge this 
debt, as far as your capabilities and opportunities 
will allow. In return for his gifts, he claims of 
you a due cultivation and exercise of your intel- 
lectual and moral faculties. He bestowed them 
upon you, not to lie dormant, bat for activity and 
improvement: and that activity and improve- 
ment he claims. He has claims upon your grat^ 
itude, your veneration and love, for his continued 
kindness and his tender mercies. He has, also, 
claims upon your obedience. His laws are insti- 
tuted and exercised over the children of men, not 
for their injury, but for their benefit — to lead them 
into pa.ths of peace and happiness ] and he has 



20 CLAIMS ON YOUTH, 

therefore every just right to demand the obedi- 
ence of mankind. — These claims of the Crea- 
tor, exist properly against you. They grow out 
of the nature of the benefits conferred upon you. 
And such is the character and undoubted value 
of the favors granted, that he is justified in urg- 
ing and enforcing these claims, if we do not ful- 
fil them voluntarily. And what renders these 
claims still more worthy your consideration, and 
portrays the goodness of God in a light surpass- 
ingly lovely, is, that in complying with them, 
you are only doing that which improves your 
character, enlarges your mind, and ministers 
greatly to your true enjoyments. 

Let your minds become impressed with the 
importance of the claims which I have thus brief- 
ly brought to your notice. Reflect upon their 
character, the grounds upon which they rest, and 
the influence which their fulfilment will exercise 
upon your own happiness, and the welfare of your 
fellow-beings. And let the spirit arise within 
you, to meet their demands with that energy and 
fidelity which is the best guaranty of success. 



CHAPTER III. 

FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 



That a good character is among the most val- 
uable earthly blessings, is a position which feW 
will controvert. To a young man, it is the 
foundation — and the only sure one — upon which 
he can rationally base any expectation of future 
respectability and prosperity. Youth should not 
believe they can arise to eminence in any call- 
ing or profession — in any situation or condition in 
life — without possessing a good character. Who- 
ever cherishes such anticipation, is most certainly 
doomed to bitter disappointment. As reasonably 
can they expect to " gather grapes of thorns, or 
figs of thistles." 

The young man who is studiously intent on 
establishing a good character, may be considered 
rich, although destitute of property. He is rich 
in the esteem of community — rich in the confi- 
dence and trust reposed in him, by all to whom 
he is known — rich in possessing the good wishes, 
and in receiving the kind offices of those around 

27 



?S FORMATION' OF CnARACTEK. 

him — rich in the assistance cheerfully granted him 
in the hour of misfortune, the most readily bv 
those who best know his worth. But without a 
good character, and without a desire to obtain one, 
a young man is in reality, poor, though possessing 
the w^ealth of the Indies. He is poor in everv 
consideration wherein the other is rich. Poor in 
the respect, trust and confidence of others — poor 
in every thing tliat can render life happy or desi- 
rable, to an intellectual being. The conscious- 
ness which he carries about with him, that he is 
despised by the virtuous and respectable, is a 
sting that embitters his days. 

In meditating plans for his future prosperity, 
the young man should consider a good character, 
as the first important acquisition to be secured. 
If he makes a mistake here — if he views charac- 
ter as an indifferent consideration — a matter of no 
consequence, worthy of no thought or exertion — 
his condition is extremely precarious. He has 
turned his face toward the downward path of dis- 
honor and wretchedness — he has already taken 
one long step therein — and unless he speedily 
changes his course, and rectifies this primary 
error, his career will be one of disappointment 
and ruin. Reflect, for one moment. Suppose a 
young man is known to be a spendthrift — known 
to be ignorant, indolent, dishonest, intemperate 
and vicious — what are his prospects ? Who will 
lepose confidence in him, or trust him, or en- 
courage him, or stand by him in the hour of mis- 



FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 29 

fortune, or aid him in times of irial ? 6n the 
other hand, let it be known that a youth is well 
informed, industrious, economical, strictly tem- 
perate and moral, and the whole community are 
his friends — all are ready to employ him, and 
assist him to rise to circumstances of compe- 
tency. — Between these two conditions, every 
wise young man will rightly choose the latter 
in preference to the former ; and must, therefore, 
perceive the immense importance of a good char- 
acter, and the great necessity of striving to ob- 
tain it. 

Fair reader, need I speak of the vast importance 
of a good character to the young lady ? Need I 
say, it is her all— that with it, she is every thing, 
and without it, nothing — yea, worse than noth- 
ing ! These propositions are so plain, that, it 
Would seem, all young ladies must be aware of 
their propriety ! If not, one moment's reflection 
must satisfy them of their truth. Let it be known 
that a young lady is idle and uninformed — that 
she is fond of gossiping and "spinning street 
yarn," rather than of laudably engaging in some 
industrious occupation — that she is better ac- 
quainted with tne hei-oes and heroines of silly 
novels, than the rules of housewifery and domes- 
tic economy — that her virtue, honesty and vera- 
city are suspected — and who does not perceive 
that, with such a name, her prospects of forming 
'^n eligible connejficn, and of prospering in life, 
^i,re entirely destroyed ? But one whose charac- 



•30 FORMAtlON OF CHARACTER 

ter is the reverse of this — who is intelligent, prit* 
dent, industrious and virtuous, has every advan- 
lage of which the other is deprived. 

The necessity, therefore, of a good character, 
both to young ladies and gentlemen, must be per- 
fectly obvious. And how is such a character to 
be obtained? Can you inherit it, as you do your 
name ? Can you purchase it with gold, or obtain 
possession of it by theft ? No — no. A good char- 
acter must he formed — it must be made — it must 
be built up, by your own individual exertions ! If 
you are negligent or indifferent in regard to this 
subject — if you leave the character to form itself, 
•as chance may direct — " if, instead of exerting 
reflection lor this valuable purpose, you deliver 
yourselves up at so critical a time, to sloth and 
pleasure — if you refuse to listen to any counselor 
but humor, or attend to any pursuit except that 
of amusement — if you allow yourselves to float 
loose and careless on the tide of life, ready to re- 
ceive any direction which the current of fashion 
or of hcentiousness may chance to give you — 
what can you expect to follow from such begin- 
nings ? While so many around you are under- 
going the sad consequences of a hke indiscretion, 
for what reason shall not those consequences ex- 
tend to you? Can you attain success without 
that preparation, and escape dangers without that 
precaution, which are required of others? Will 
prosperity and happiness grow up to you of its 
•own accord, and solicit your acceptance, when to 



FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 31 

the rest of mankind, it is the fruit of long culti- 
vation, and the acquisition of labor and care ? 
Deceive not yourselves with such hopes."* I 
repeat, the character must be made — it must be 
a work — and a work, too, of meditation and fore- 
thought. 

The characteristics by which you desire to be 
distinguished through life, should be selected by 
your own well-exercised judgment, and estab- 
lished by your industry and perseverance. Ask 
yourselves what character you would like to pos^ 
sess before the world ? — whether you would be 
respected or despised by the good and virtuous t 
and act in accordance to your decision. And I 
repeat, all the excellence of character you obtain 
must be the fruit of your own labor — the result 
of your own exertions. Friends may cheer and 
encourage you, but they can not do this work for 
you. They can not be industrious, or virtuous, 
or well informed, or honest, in your place. These 
characteristics, if you possess them at all, you 
must obtain by the diligent exercise of your own 
faculties and advantages. 

To arrive at excellence of character, it is well 
to adopt models for imitation. Think of some 
individuals, the excellencies of whose character 
you would be pleased to possess. And let not 
these standards be low ones. They should be 
high — they had far better be too high, than to® 

* Blair. 



32 FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 



^ 



low. It is an old proverb, that although he who 
aims at the sun, will not reach it, yet his arrow 
will fly much higher, than if aimed at an object 
on a level with himself. So in the formation of 
character. Let your models be exalted ones; and 
although you may possibly fail of reaching their 
elevation, yet, undoubtedly you will ascend much 
higher, than had you selected some inferior pat- 
terns. Let your models be frequently before your 
mind — imitate the conduct and disposition which 
characterized those you would copy after — mark 
the course which they took to obtain their good 
names, and do thou likewise. 

I can not better close this subject, than in the 
words of the lamented Wirt. " Take it for grant- 
ed that there is no excellence without great labor. 
No mere aspirations for eminence, however ardent, 
will do the business. Wishing and sighing, and 
imaginiiig and dreaming of greatness, will never 
make you great or respectable. If you would get 
to the mountain's top on which the temple of fame 
stands, it will not do to stand still, looking, and 
admiring, and wishing you were there. You 
must gird up your loins, and go to work with all 
the indomitable energy ot Hannibal scaling the 
Alps. We can not all be Franklins, it is true; 
but by imitating his mental habits and unwearied 
industry, we may reach an etninence we should 
never otherwise obtain. Nor would he have been 
the Franklin he was, if he had permitted himself 
to be discouraged by the reflection that we can 



FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 33 

not all be Newtons ! It is our business to make 
the most of our own talents and opportunities ; 
and instead of discouraging ourselves by compar- 
isons and impossibilities, to believe all things im- 
aginable, possible ; as, indeed, almost all things 
are, to a spirit bravely and firmly resolved." 



CHAPTER IV. 

THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS, 

There is no emotion more natural, and none 
more proper, than the desire to be thought well ofj 
by others around us. This wish, cherished by 
the young, with proper restrictions, and brought 
consistently to bear on the conduct, will become 
as a kind of guard to screen them from many im- 
proprieties and their accompanying evils. Those 
young people, who are inspired with the laudable 
desire so to demean themselves as to obtain the 
approbation and respect of community, may be 
considered as walking in a safer path, than those 
who have no such inclination. It will cause them 
to become circumspect and watchful in all their 
conduct — to be careful what they rfo, and what 
they say^ and what disposition they exhibit in 
their intercourse with the world ; and will induce 
them to listen seriously to any faults that may be 
suggested as attached to their conduct. Wise 
youth are willing to have their failings pointed 
out. And when a fault is asserted to pertain to 

34 



THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 35 

them, whether it is detected by a friend or an ene- 
my, they will search, and candidly ask them- 
selves whether it does in reality exist; and if 
they perceive that it does, they will take energet- 
ic measures to free themselves from its contami- 
nations. I have often expressed the opinion, that 
if enemies are of no other benefit, they are some^ 
\ times of great service in detecting and exposing 
our aberrations from duty. Their watchful eyes 
are upon us — they are ever upon the alert to bla- 
zon our short-comings to the world. And a sense 
of their scrutiny will influence us to assume a 
cautiousness in our proceedings, which can but 
be highly salutary. 

A proper desire to be commended by our fel- 
low-beings shouild be cherished by every youth. 
A want of it produces consequences extremely 
deleterious. When young ladies or young gen- 
tlemen, arrive at such a state, as to exclaim, in re- 
ference to their moral conduct, "/ care not what 
others think — / care not for the opinions of those 
around me" — it indicates a dangerous state. It 
shows their feelings to be so hardened, that they 
are ripe for the works of sin and degradation — it 
predicts a condition of moral callousness, which, 
unless removed speedily, will lead to pollution and 
its unavoidable wretchedness. " / donH care,''* 
is a bad expression for the young of either sex. 
it is not only immodest and reprehensible in itself 
but if indulged in, and followed in its influences, 
it will ere long, mvolve you in those disastrous 



35 THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 

circumstances, where you xoill care — and that too, 
when it perhaps is too late to avoid the painful , 
consequences of your blindness. J 

In so conducting as to gain the good opinion of 
others, you should exercise proper discrimination 
as to whose commendation you would merit. You 
should not endeavor to obtain in your conduct, the 
applause of the drunkard ; because to do so, you 
must uphold and imitate his intemperance — or of 
the gambler, the thief, the spendthrift, or the 
idler — for they will not approbate you, unless 
you follow them in their transgressions. Neither 
should it be your effort to secure the approbation 
of the proud, the vain, or the scornful. But the 
good opinion, in all moral respects, of the wise, 
virtuous and benevolent, it should be your ambi- 
tion to secure. This, however, should not be the 
moving cause of living a virtuous life. The main 
influence to such a life, should be of a higher 
character, even the value of virtue itself, and the 
beneficial effects which its faithful practice will 
confer upon you. But in shaping your conduct, 
let it be characterized by those principles, that 
will be approved by the discreet, the upright and 
experienced of society. 

Let not this subject be misunderstood. It is 
one thing, so to conduct as to acquire the respect 
of the public — but another and quite different 
thing, to shape your proceedings ^ri^e^oZe/mr- 
'pose of obtaining public favor or popularity. — 
While the former is to be approbated, the latter 



THE (JOOn OPlNIOiN OF OTHERS. 37 

ahould be decidedly avoided. I know of no indi- 
viduals whose conduct and example are more to 
be despised and avoided, than confirmed seekers 
after popularity — those people who form their 
opinions and give support to religious or political 
sentiments and measures, with no other objects in 
view, but to gain the applause of the multitude, 
and the smiles of the wealthy and fashionable. 
Individuals of this character, can not properly be 
said to ^possess principles, or to be guided by them, 
Theii only rule and motive of action is policy — 
their only study, the highest effort of their mental 
powers is, so to shape their course, as to float, like 
the empty bubble or the worthless weed, on the 
surface of the flowing tide of popularity. Nei- 
ther is there any dependence to be placed upon 
them. Having no love of truth and principle to 
insure their stability, to-day they are with this 
party or sect, to-morrow with that — now they are 
warm advocates of these sentiments or measures, 
and, anon, as zealously the friends of those di- 
rectly the reverse — as they are swayed about by 
the contradictory winds of fluctuating interest, or 
public favor ! People of this description are to be 
pitied for their weakness and folly, and their vas- 
cillating example is to bo avoided by all who 
would be truly respected — by all who would vin- 
dicate the position, that there is such a thing as 
principle among men, and that the human mind 
can be governed by it.* 

* The clas3 to which I refer, is mainly composed of 



S8 THE GOOD OPINION OP 0THEB3. 

Their example, I repeat, should be shunned, as 
derogatory to human nature, and detrimental to 
the best interests of society. In forming your 
opinions, on any subject, let reason and conscience 
be your guides. In this respect you should not 
be swayed by the good or bad opinions, which 
others will thus be led to entertain of you ; but 
solely by your reason. If a proposition or a sen- 
timent, on a careful and candid examination, ap- 
pears consistent and reasonable, adopt and sup- 
port it, whether it is believed by many or few. If, 
on the contrary, it appears unreasonable, reject it, 
even though adopted by the whole world beside. 
This is the only safe rule which you, as reasona- 
ble beings, can adopt — it is the only manly, hon- 
orable and consistent course you can follow. But 
in allowing interest, numbers, or popularity, to 
have an influence in forming or biassing your 
opinions, you throw down all the safeguard with 
which your Maker has graciously provided you, 
and are liable to become the dupe of every error 
that wears a gilded dress. 

Permit me to repeat, that your moral conduct 
should be of such character as to gain for you the 
good opinion of the virtuous and upright. But 

those whose minds are so weak, thai they are not capa- 
ble of forming a definite opinion upon any subject of im- 
portance—those who are so bound up in self, as to be 
indifferent what principles prevail, so that their ends are 
accomplished— and those who are better pleased to have 
error and vice spread through community, than truth and 
virtue, provided their mtercsts are as equally enhanced by 
Uie former as the latter. 



THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 39 

in forming opiuions, and in supporting measures, 
assert the high prerogative of your nature, and 
judge for yourselves, without respect to others. 
Be certain that you act from honest and consci- 
entious motives — that your only object is to ob- 
tain truth — and trust the result to a righteous 
Providence. Whether those around you approve 
or reject, you will possess that which they can 
neither give or take away — 

'''The soul's calm sunshine, ai^dihe heaitfelt joy." 



CHAPTER V. 



ON READING. 



That is a most extraordinary art, reader, by 
Tfhich I am now communicating ray thoughts to 
you, although perhaps a thousand miles intervene; 
between us, with as much ease and accuracy, as 
though you were in my immediate presence. — 
This operation, to one who is a stranger to the 
method of its performance, would appear the work 
of supernatural agents. A late writer, in descri- 
bing the inhabitants of one of the remote islands 
of the Pacific Ocean, states that they had no con- 
ception of the arts of writing or reading. When 
informed that one person can communicate his 
thoughts to another, without voice, or gesture, or 
Vfithout being in his presence, they utterly dis- 
credited the assertion. But after repeated experi- 
ments, becoming fully satisfied of its truth, yet 
vicfwing it as a work transcending all human 
power, they alleged that it must have been accom- 
plished by necromancy. 

The art of communicating ideas by inscribing 

40 



ON READING. 4rl 

risible characters, is of very ancient date. In its 
first stage, it consisted merely in drawing a rough 
sketch or outline of the object, in regard to which 
the communication was made. From this state 
the art was advanced to the use of more systerai- 
zed hieroglyphics ; and from these, gradually im- 
proved to our present system of writing. Previous 
to the invention of the art of printing, books were 
multiplied only by the pen — a work so laborious 
and slow, as to cause them to be few in number, 
and of immense value. So scarce were books, 
that ambassadors were once expressly sent from 
France to Rome, to obtain a copy of Cicero's Ora- 
tions, and Q^uintilian's Institutes. The library of 
the Bishop of Winchester, in 1494, contained but 
parts of seventeen books ; and on his borrowing a 
copy of the Scriptures from the neighboring con- 
vent of St. Swithin, he had to give a heavy bond, 
drawn up with great solemnity, that he would 
return it uninjured. If any one gave a book to a 
convent or monastery, it was supposed to confer 
everlasting salvation upon him. Previous to the 
year 1300, the library of Oxford University con- 
sisted only of a few tracts, which were carefully 
locked in a small chest, or else chained, lest they 
should be carried away. 

There are two prominent objects in reading, 
viz : — amusement, and the acquisition of valuable 
knowledge. These, if possible, should be com- 
bined into one. No volume should be perused 
for amlisement, which does not instruct as well as 
4» 



42 ON READINC;. 

deliglit. And all publications of an instructive 
character, will amuse and please the mind, when 
resld with a proper thirst for its lessons of wis 
dom. It should be the desire of every youth, of 
both sexes, to acquire a habit or taste for reading 
This habit will s^on become one of the highest 
sources of enjoyment. Bat it must be acquired 
young. If it is not established before the age of 
twenty-five or thirty, the probability is, that itwiP 
not be at all ; and the individual in this condition, 
will be cut off from one of the most valuable sour« 
ces of knowledge and improvement. You should 
read, not only for the pleasure which it affords 
you, but to obtain practical information, and toi 
enlarge and enlighten your views on those sn'? 
jects intimately connected with your welfare, and 
the interests of your race. You should read to 
" multiply your ideas, correct your errors, erase 
■^our prejudices;) purify your principles, and that 
you may settle down on the everlasting founda- 
tion of truth, in all things." 

A well established habit of reading, bestows 
benefits innumerable. The young lady or gen- 
tleman possessing this habit gives fair promise of 
future respectability and usefulness. There is 
little reason to apprehend that they will become 
profligate or vicious. Examine the victims of 
fcrime — the inmates of prisons — and, as a general 
tule, it will be discovered, that in youth they were 
averse to reading. In perusing useful publica- 
tions, the youthful mmd is elevated above the ill- 



ON KEAbli^IG. • 43 

Jluence of vicious passions, and is absolved from 
their contaminations. 

Through the medium of books, you can live, 
as it were, in all past ages. You can enter the 
presence of the wise and the great of antiquity — 
you can listen to their lessons of instruction — 
treasure up the fruits of their research and expe- 
rience, and thus make them your immediate in- 
structors. In books you have at your disposal the 
history of your race. You can range over its 
ample extent — beholdirig here, the corroding in- 
fluence of Wealth without just principles — there^ 
the fruits of blind rashness — and every where, the 
unavoidable evils flowing from ignorance and sin^ 
and the superior advantages of knowledge and 
virtue. As the bee extracts honey from objects 
hauseous and poisonous ; so can the industrious 
reader obtain lessons of useful wisdom, from the 
lerrors and imperfections of those who figure on 
the historic page. 

The reader, while sitting by his own fireside^ 
becomes a traveller in foreign lands. He partici- 
pates in much of the enjoyment of the touristy 
without experiencing any of his difficulties and 
dangers. He thus obtains an acquaintance with 
the condition, manners and customs of distant 
nations ; and his mind becomes enlarged by con- 
templating the wide diversities of laws, of mor- 
als, of religions and literature. He is also ena- 
bled to compare the numerous privileges and a.d~ 
Vantages, which he enjoys in this happy land, 



46 ON READIN<3. 

hastily lo glide through a bouk without treasur- 
ing up any useful knowledge. Thinking should 
always accompany reading. The latter without 
the former, amounts to nothing. And yet there 
is no habit more liable to grow upon the young 
reader, than while the eye is skimming over the 
page, to allow the mind to be wandering away 
absorbed in some thought wholly disconnected 
with the subject before him. This habit is an 
unfortunate one. It weakens the intellect, dis- 
tracts the mind, and fills it with confusion and 
anarchy — and it should, therefore, be strongly 
guarded against. The attention and thoughts, 
should be brought under the strict command of 
the will. If they fly off in pursuit of some wild 
vagary, they should be instantly called back, and 
all their powers concentrated on the page which 
you are perusing. Then you hold conmiunion 
with the author, and are benefited. But without 
this attention, the book may as well be closed. 

If. in reading a sentence or paragraph, you fail 
lo obtain the meaning of the author, repeat it, 
and if necessary, again and again — leave it not 
until you fully comprehend the idea he would 
convey. In this manner you will often find a 
treasure, where at first glance you could discover 
nothing of importance. If your author furnishes 
a new thought, cease reading for a moment, and 
ponder upon it — turn it frequently in your mind — 
observe its bearing and tendencies, and its appli- 
cability to subjects in which you are interested. 



ON KRADING. 47 

Thus you will often enter upon a train which 
will lead to new fields of pleasing and useful re^- 
flection. As you can not expect to retain in your 
memory the entire contents of a book, impress 
upon your minds the most prominent and valua- 
ble portion of its instructions. And to this end, 
after having finished its perusal, reflect upon its 
whole contents, and ascertain what new and pe- 
culiar views you have obtained. It is a useful 
practice of many readers, to note in a blank book 
or memorandum, such sentences or ideas as are 
deemed of sufficient importance ; and they are 
thus saved for future application. This method 
I would recommend to such as have time or op- 
portunity to pursue it. 

A valuable blank book, called the " Index Re- 
rum," intended for the purpose of forming an in- 
dex to the subjects of which you read, and in 
which you may note the volume and page of a 
work in which any particular subject is treated, 
for future reference, will be found particularly 
valuable, to the student, the professional man, or, 
indeed to any who may have occasion often to 
refer to what they have perused. Its author, or 
rather its inventor, is the Rev. John Todd, now 
of Philadelphia, the author of " The Student's 
Manual," another excellent work for the same 
classes — excepting a very few remarks rather 
sectarian in their character. 

Another consideration of the utmost weighty 
relates to the selection of books. The impor- 



48 ON READING. 

tance of this subject, can not be too strongly im- 
pressed upon the minds of the young. The sen- 
timents conveyed in publications read by youth, 
must exercise a sensible influence over them, for 
good or evil. Books of an immoral and licen- 
tious tendency, should be avoided as the poison- 
ous Upas. No youth can read them without in 
flirting a leprous stain upon their minds, which 
will tend decidedly to evil. Consider those com- 
panions your enemies, who recommend such 
works to your notice. Turn a deaf ear to their 
advice, and strictly avoid their example. 

In noticing the character of works proper for 
your perusal, I can not refrain from directing your 
attention, first of all, to that " Book of books," 
the Bible. Sir William Jones, one of the most 
learned men of his day, wrote on the blank leaf 
of his Bible, the following sentence — " I have 
ijarefully and regularly perused these holy Scrip- 
tures, and am of opinion that the volume, inde- 
pendent of its divine origin, contains more sub- 
limity, purer morality, more important history, 
and finer strains of eloquence, than can be col- 
lected from all other books, in whatever language 
they may have been written." Let this invalua- 
ble volume be often and faithfully perused — let 
its contents, especially its moral and doctrinal 
teachings, be deeply impressed upon your minds, 
as the only perfect guide that can lead to a faith- 
ful discharge of duty towards your Father in 
heaven, and your fellow-beings. Well written 



ON READING. 49 

books and other publications, relating to the doc- 
trinal and moral truths of the Scriptures, should 
also engage a due proportion of your attention, as 
calculated to purify your hearts and enlighten 
your minds. Paley's Natural Theology, and his 
Horae Paulinse, and works of a similar character, 
tending to strengthen the convictions of the truth 
of Christianity, should be read by every youth. 

Here, perhaps, I ought to remark, that all stand- 
ard works, pertaining to or connected with your 
destined pursuits in life, should engage the next 
place in your studies. As these will vary accord- 
ing to those pursuits, and as you can never be at 
a loss for more able and experienced advisers 
than I can be, I dismiss this consideration with 
the remark, that you should, by no means, con- 
fine yourselves to these works alone ; but give 
them your chief and and best hours, seeking re-^ 
laxation from their perusal in such other works 
as I now shall name. 

History is a very important branch of general 
study. Mavor's Universal History, is a large andi 
expensive work — but an excellent compendium. 
Bigland's Letters on History, is as brief as the 
other is voluminous. The amount of leisure, 
and pecuniary means you possess, (if remote 
from a public library,) must determine for you 
which of these, or of the following works you 
will peruse. They, all, are well worth your at- 
tention, and are recommended to your notice. 
History of the Jews, by Flavins Josephus, Rol-^ 
5 



50 ON READING. 

lin's Ancient History, Gillie's Greece, Frost's 
History of Greece, Ferguson's Roman Repub- 
lic, The Annals of Tacitus, Gibbon's Decline 
and Fall of the Roman Empire, bearing in mind 
that he is a cold sneerer at Christianity, even 
while pretending to advocate it in the form held 
by the church of England j Moore's History of 
Ireland ; Hume's England, continued by Smol- 
let; Robertson's Histories, particularly of Charles 
the Fifth, and of the Discovery and Settlement 
of America, Irving's Conquest of Grenada, Mack- 
intosh's England, Russell's Modern Europe, 
Baines' History of the Wars of the French Rev- 
olution, American edition on account of the notes, 
Ramsay's History of the American Revolution, 
and Mosheim's Ecclesiastial History. In bio- 
graphical works you will also find much histori- 
cal information, blended with a display of human 
character. I would therefore recommend you to 
read, in connexion with the foregoing, the lives 
of any great men who figure prominently in them 
— particularly Voltaire's Life of Charles XII., of 
Sweden, a fine specimen of a good style ; Mar- 
shall's Life of Washington, Spark's Lives of 
Franklin, Ledyard, and the Washington papers, 
and also his Biography ; Irving's Columbus, and 
his Voyages and Discoveries of the Companions 
of Columbus, Southey's Nelson, Scott's Life of 
Napoleon, bearing in mind the deep prejudice 
which that remarkable writer evidently bore 
:3gainst " the Man of Destiny," whose career he 



ON READING. 51 

Ro srraphically traces ; Wirt's Life of Patrick 
Henrv^, and Lives of the Signers of the Decla- 
ration of Independence. — Others might be na- 
med, but the advice of the wise and virtuous, 
and the references made in these works, will 
unite in guiding you to all else that can be ne- 
cessary to your instruction in this important 
branch of reading. 

Such works as BufFon's Natural History, Gold- 
smith's Animated Nature, Good's Book of Na- 
ture, Arnott's Physics, Wood's Mosaic Creation, 
Treatises on Botany and Chemistry, and publi- 
cations on Experimental Philosophy, can be read 
with much profit and amusement. The Art of 
Being Happy, from the French of Droz, with 
notes by Timothy Flint, is a work full of valua- 
ble instruction to the young. Combe on the 
Constitution of Man is one of the most valuable 
publications that has issued from the press in 
many years. I would earnestly recommend its 
perusal to all whose eye meets these lines — it 
will richly repay them. 

Of poetry, there are comparatively but few en- 
tire works that can be safely recommended to the 
young. Pope has many beauties, intermingled 
with much that is decidedly of an immoral ten- 
dency ; and the same may be said of Burns, By- 
ron and Moore. But there can be no hesitancy 
in recommending Milton, Cowper, Young — ma- 
king due allowance for their religious peculiari- 
ties — Scott, Wordsworth, Southey, Coleridge, 



5s ON READING. 

Campbell, Beatiie, Thomson, Bryant, Mrs. He- 
mans, and Mrs. Sigourney. 

In relation to the propriety or impropriety of 
perusing novels and other works of fiction, much 
has been said on either side. There can be no 
doubt that our book-stores and libraries are flood- 
ed with works of this character, that are extreme- 
ly insipid, and of a tendency highly deleterious. — 
That works of fiction of a proper character, can 
be safely and beneficially read by the young, I 
have no hesitancy in declaring. But you must 
be cautious in your selections. None should be 
read but those of a purely moral tendency, and 
such as are illustrative of historical truths. Of 
the former, I would mention particularly those of 
Mrs. Opie, Miss Edgeworth, and Miss Martineau. 
Of the latter may be enumerated the Misses Por- 
ter's, the most of Scott's, a few of Bulwer's — 
especially his Rienzi — several by Cooper, Miss 
Sedgwick, and Mr. Simms. Many of Irving's 
later works are of an entertaining character, and 
may be profitably read — particularly his late pro- 
ductions, A Tour on the Prairies, Astoria, and 
West of the Rocky Mountains. 

In reading works of fiction, keep your mind con- 
stantly fixed on the delineations of character — 
mark the shades of difference between them, the 
different operations of external circumstances oa 
them, and the different motives that actuate 
them — and apply all to the purposes of self-ex- 
araination and self-improvement. When the work 



ON READING. 53 

is historical, read it in connexion with that portion 
of history to which it refers, and with that portion 
of geography which describes its location, and 
carefully note what is fictitious, and v/hat is real. 
If I mistake not, Chambers' Memoir of the 
Prince, Chevalier Charles Stuart, will make you 
doubly interested, even in Scott's interesting 
Scottish novels relating to that individual — and 
so of others. 

Fear of protracting this chapter beyond the 
bounds of your patience, prevented me from 
naming many other works worthy of your peru- 
sal, with comments on their merits, and directions 
for more fully availing yourselves of their interest 
and benefits. But what is here offered will suf- 
fice, probably, to guide you, until experience suf- 
ficient will be attained to render further direction 
from me of doubtful necessity, 

5* 



CHAPTER VI 



PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 



Practical observation, or the habit of observing 
men and things, is of great value. There is 
scarcely an event that transpires around you, 
from which you may not, by critical observation, 
derive lessons of wisdom — there is not an object 
upon which your eyes can rest, when properly 
studied, that will not increase your information. 
But all those sources of knowledge are sealed 
Up, without you take proper measures to open 
them. Unless you observe and reflect, wisdoni 
may instruct, and knowledge lift up her voice^ 
"but hearing you hear not, and seeing you do 
not perceive." Without the habit of practical 
observation, you may listen to the most profound 
instructions of wisdom, without being wiser, and 
examine all the curiosities of nature and art, 
Without gaining any useful information. " Keep 
your eyes open," is an old and profitable maxim — 
not the eyes of your body only, but the eyes of 
your intellect also. And let your ears not only 

54 



PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 55 

Hear, but hear understandingly — with a discrim- 
ination that will enable you to appreciate and 
treasure up all that is instructive, and cast away 
whatever is demoralizing or useless. 

In this respect, there is a vast difference among 
mankind. While one individual mingles with 
the world, and by thoughtful observation, increas- 
es his useful knowledge every hour — another 
mixes in the same scenes, listens to the same 
language, sees the same transactions and the 
same objects, without treasuring up one valuable 
thought. The former sees and hears to obtain 
information ; the latter only to gratify an idle cu- 
riosity. While one person, in straying over the 
fields beholds in every tree, in every flower and 
blade of grass, indications of the wisdom and 
goodness of God and thus is led to reflect upon 
the characteristics of Deity ; another views the 
same objects, and only thinks that the tree affords 
a shade from the sun, and that of the flowers a 
fragrant nosegay may be formed. While one 
gazes upon the sky, and observes that it is deck- 
f-d with " pretty spangles" — another contemplates 
the heavens with mingling emotions of awe, 
astonishment and delight. He there discovers 
the hand of Jehovah — he there reads lessons of 
the majesty, power, and wisdom of the great " I 
AM." Filled with wonder, he inquires — 



*'*****•* What hand behind the scene, 
What arm almighty, put these wheehng globes 
la motion, and wound Up tire vast machine 7 



1 



56 PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 

Who rounded in his palm, those spacious orbs? 
"Who howled them flaming thro' the dark profound, 
Numerous as glitt'ring gems of morning dew, 
Or sparks from populous cities in a blaze, 
And set the bosom of old Night on fire." 

The habit of practical observation, while eii' 
gaged in your ordinary occupations, becomes not 
only a stream of knowledge, but also a safe-guard 
to screen you from evil conduct. Do you ob- 
serve in an individual, a mean, unmanly action ? 
Reflect upon it. Observe hovi/^ it degrades him" — 
how contemptible it causes him to appear in the 
eyes of the generous, the just, the benevolent, 
and how unsatisfying must be his own reflections. 
Do you behold one at tne bar of justice, called 
upon to answer to the laws of his country, for his 
crimes ? Meditate upon the unhappy effects of 
sin — the degradation and wretchedness it entails 
upon its victims — and become satisfied of the 
solemn truth of the Scripture declaration, that 
" though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not 
go unpunished." — Do you perceive neighbors, 
from some simple misunderstanding, that could 
at first have been amicablv explained, engage in 
an unhappy contention, in which all the unholy 
passions are brought into action, to the mutual 
injury of the parties, and which involves the com- 
munity in turmoil and themselves in wretched- 
ness? Observation will satisfy you of the blind- 
ness and folly of such conduct — of the necessity 
of exercising a forgiving spirit, and of submitting 
to injuries rather than to engage in hostilities, 



PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 57 

that can at best but entail disquietude upon you. 
Thus by a constant habit of observation and 
refiection, you can turn even the failings, the 
blindness, the misfortunes of others, to your own 
account — you can be benefited not only by the 
knowledge of the \vise, but also by the folly of 
the simple. When you perceive people in cir- 
cumstances of difficulty, you can trace their ill 
fortune back to its origin, and by perceiving the 
cause of their failure, you are prepared to avoid 
pursuing a similar course. Even the most trivial 
actions, when properly considered, will sometimes 
afford valuable lessons of instruction. "Old 
fashioned economists will tell you never to pass 
an old nail, or an old horse-shoe, or buckle, or 
even a pin, without taking it up, because although 
you may not want it now, you will find a use for 
it some time or other. I say the same to you 
with regard to observation. Mark every thing 
you perceive — let your observations and reflec- 
tions take in every object within your reach. For 
there is not a fact in the whole circle of human 
observation, nor even a fugitive anecdote that you 
read in a newspaper, or hear in conversation, that 
will not afford some useful reflection." From 
every individual with whom you converse, how- 
ever unlearned and ignorant, somethmg new and 
valuable can be obtained, by proper observation. 
Sir Walter Scott was one of those men, who 
draw information from every thing within their 
observation. One of the means by which he ob- 



58 PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 

tained his celebrity as a writer, was his habit of 
obtaining useful hints from sources to which 
others would never think of looking. It is said 
that he was once desirous to obtain a certain ob- 
solete word that had escaped his memory. For 
a long time it baffled his reseasches ; but at length 
in passing two men in the street, engaged in angry 
contention, he heard the desired word dropped, 
amid oaths and imprecations — and he immedi- 
ately stopped and noted it down. This is prac- 
tical observation. You should, like the above 
named individual, endeavor to learn something 
every where. Your thoughts should be at your 
command, to meditate upon every new object and 
idea that may be capable of imparting valuable 
information. There is not any thing in the world 
that is not worth noticing. How many are igno- 
rant, and remain so, because although they see 
and hear, yet they do not observe. 

The information obtained by observation, is 
often more valuable than that procured in any 
other manner. We frequently discover individu- 
als unskilled in letters, with little acquaintance 
with books, who yet possess a large fund of use- 
ful knowledge, and are well informed on a great 
variety of topics connected with human welfare — ■ 
while as frequently, scholars from our institutions 
of learning, are lamentably ignorant in regard to 
the most valuable interests of society. How is 
this difference to be accounted for ? In this 
wise. The former are men of practical observa- 



PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 59 

tion — they have studied the book of human na- 
ture — they have become acquainted with "men 
and things," by actual contact. But the latter 
have obtained their knowlodge solely from books ; 
hence they are wise in theory, but ignorant in 
practice — wise in regard to the past, but ignorant 
of the present. Could each obtain the acquire- 
ments of the other, they would then, by possess- 
ing the advantages of both theory and practice, 
be enabled in a superior degree, to pass through 
life with usefulness to themselves and to their 
fellow-beings. To possess these combined ad- 
vantages should be the effort of every youth. 

I trust my readers will not suppose I would en- 
courage an idle curiosity, or an inquisitive inter- 
meddling with other people's affairs. In obtain- 
ing information, I would by no means, have you 
mingle with bad company, or intrude where it 
would not be proper to appear, or take part in 
scenes where you are not personally interested. 
But wherever your intercourse leads you, I would 
have you attentive to things around. When you 
are engaged in business, you have numerous op- 
portunities to observe the workings of human 
passions and human virtues — the influences upon 
man's happiness, of honesty, benevolence and 
generosity, on the one hand, and of avarice, 
fraud and crime, upon the other. In ccwnpany, 
you can perceive and note the characteristics of 
different individuals, and observe the disposition 
and manners which render one agreeable to all. 



CO PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 

especially to the virtuous and good, and the con- 
duct by which others cause themselves to be dis- 
liked and shunned. Thus you can be a constant 
student, reading lessons which will afford the 
richest wisdom. This work of observation should, 
in most cases, be performed in silence. When 
you discover a fault in another, I would have you 
silently benefit yourself by reflecting uponf its 
deleterious influences, but not needlessly trumpet 
it to the world. Improve your minds rather by 
meditating upon the imperfections of others, 
than by expatiating upon, and enlarging them, to 
the detriment of their unfortunate possessors. 



CHAPTER VII. 



INDEPENDENCE OP MIND. 



There is no characteristic more worthy an in- 
tellectual beings than independence of mind — that 
principle by which opinions are formed and ad- 
hered to, from the convictions of our own senses. 
Some people are very fluctuating in their conclu- 
sions — seemingly unable to form any settled opin- 
ion — and more willing to trust to the decision of 
others, than to the dictates of their own minds. 
This is an unfortunate failing — it renders those 
under its influence, liable to many evils. They 
have no foundation upon which to base any opin- 
ion, and no strength to maintain the teachings of 
their own good sense. On religious, political, 
and other subjects connected with their welfare, 
they are liable to be driven from point to point — 
from system to system — without testing either suf- 
ficiently to ascertain their real merits, or their de- 
fects. Every wind that blows, faces them a dif- 
ferent way. To-day they know not what they may 
believe to-morrow. Ever doubting and nev-er satis- 
6 61 



62 INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 

fied, like public paupers, they depend upon others 
for a supply of mental food. Individuals of this 
character, are especially sought after by the crafty 
and the designing. Tl^ey are material of which 
they can readily make any present use. Thus they 
are at the mercy of unprincipled plotters, "who 
lie in wait to deceive" — they are like children, 
straying amid a multitude of paths, without being 
able to determine which leads to the desired des- 
tination — as liable to walk in the way of error 
and unhappiness, as in that of truth and peace. 

The young very much mistake their interest 
and happiness, when they permit habits of inde- 
cision and vascillation to creep upon them. By 
the frequent change of principles or opinions, they 
lose the confidence of community, and soon are 
looked upon, only as fit tools to be used by un- 
principled demagogues. Those who shuflle about 
from sect to sect — from party to party — are event- 
ually deemed worthless by all. To avoid being 
held in this estimation, it must be your endeavor 
to acquire an independence of mind, that will 
enable you to form fixed principles, from which 
trifling considerations can not move you. 

It is necessary, however, that you fully under- 
stand the characceristics of a truly independent 
mind. In the first place, an independent mind is 
not rash. Many pride themselves on immediately 
forming their opinions on every subject to which 
their attention is directed, without the trouble of 
reflection. But this is foolish rashness, and not 



INDEPENDENCE OP MIND. 63 

independence. Those who pursue this course, 
rush needlessly into many unpleasant predica- 
ments. Opinions thus formed, are far more liable 
to be wrong than right — and thus their authors 
are compelled either to support positions palpably 
erroneous, or retract the rash grounds they have 
assumed. In either case, they lose the confidence 
of the judicious and prudent. 

Neither does the independent mind despise the 
opinions of others. There are some who deem 
it derogatory to their character to listen to, or 
adopt the views of others. It matters not how im- 
portant is the subject, or how experienced are 
those who express their sentiments ; if the prof- 
fered advice does not coincide with their precon- 
ceived opinions, they consider it very manly and 
independent to reject it. But the mind possess- 
ing true independence, will seek the advice of 
others — will listen to whatever varying views 
may be expressed — and from such suggestions, 
adopt those opinions which appear the most rea- 
sonable. 

Equally far is true independence of mind re- 
moved from obstinacy. After an opinion has once 
been formed and expressed perhaps publicly, some 
people will permit pride or obstinacy to prevent 
their rejecting it, even after being fully con- 
vinced of its fallacy ; and thus they will continue 
to hug error and support principles they know 
to be unsound, through fear that a renounce- 
ment of them would be attributed to weakness or 



62 INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 

fied, like public paupers, they depend upon others 
for a supply of mental food. Individuals of this 
character, are especially sought after by the crafty 
and the designing. They are material of which 
they can readily make any 'present use. Thus they 
are at the mercy of unprincipled plotters, " who 
lie in wait to deceive" — they are like children, 
straying amid a multitude of paths, without being 
able to determine which leads to the desired des- 
tination — as liable to walk in the way of error 
and unhappiness, as in that of truth and peace. 

The young very much mistake their interest 
and happiness, when they permit habits of inde- 
cision and vascillation to creep upon them. By 
the frequent change of principles or opinions, they 
lose the confidence of community, and soon are 
looked upon, only as fit tools to be used by un- 
principled demagogues. Those who shuffle about 
from sect to sect — from party to party — are event- 
ually deemed worthless by all. To avoid being 
held in this estimation, it must be your endeavor 
to acquire an independence of mind, that will 
enable you to form fixed principles, from which 
trifling considerations can not move you. 

It is necessary, however, that you fully under- 
stand the characteristics of a truly independent 
mind. In the first place, an independent mind is 
not rash. Many pride themselves on immediately 
forming their opinions on every subject to which 
their attention is directed, without the trouble of 
reflection. But this is foolish rashness, and not 



INDEPENDENCE OP MIND. 63 

independence. Those who pursue this course, 
rush needlessly into many unpleasant predica- 
ments. Opinions thus formed, are far more liable 
to be wrong than right — and thus their authors 
are compelled either to support positions palpably 
erroneous, or retract the rash grounds they have 
assumed. In either case, they lose the confidence 
of the judicious and prudent. 

Neither does the independent mind despise the 
opinions of others. There are some who deem 
it derogatory to their character to listen to, or 
adopt the views of others. It matters not how im- 
portant is the subject, or how experienced are 
those who express their sentiments ; if the prof- 
fered advice does not coincide with their precon- 
ceived opinions, they consider it very manly and 
independent to reject it. But the mind possess- 
ing true independence, will seek the advice of 
others — will listen to whatever varying views 
may be expressed — and from such suggestions, 
adopt those opinions which appear the most rea- 
sonable. 

Equally far is true independence of mind re- 
moved from obstinacy. After an opinion has once 
been formed and expressed perhaps publicly, some 
people will permit pride or obstinacy to prevent 
their rejecting it, even after being fully con- 
vinced of its fallacy ; and thus they will continue 
to hug error and support principles they know 
to be unsound, through fear that a renounce- 
ment of them would be attributed to weakness or 



64 INDEPENDENCE OP MIND, 

imbecility. But such a course is far from being 
an independent one. It discovers rather a weak 
and servile mind, than a free and firm one. It 
shows a mind filled with a slavish fear of popular 
opinion — a trembling apprehension lest some per-- 
sous as puerile as themselves, should deride them. 
And from a fear of being considered weak, by the 
loeak, they will remain under the influence of a 
real weakness and slavery, that the firm and up- 
right scorn. The mind can evince as much inde- 
pendence in renouncing an erroneous sentiment, 
despite all influences of an opposing character, 
as in supporting a just one, against every disad- 
vantage. But there is an important distinction 
between changing an opinion from firm convic- 
tion, after deep research and mature deliberation, 
and rashly vascillating from one view to another, 
at every trifling impulse, without forethought or 
reflection. The former is to be commended and 
imitated — the latter to be despised and avoided. 

True independence of mind consists in candid- 
ly and maturely examining every subject which 
engages your attention — impartially and faithfully 
searching its foundations, and all the evidences of 
its truth — and then forming such opinion in re- 
gard to its merits, as unbiassed reason shall dic- 
tate, without being influenced by any extraneous 
circumstances. The mind of real independence, 
adopts only such sentiments as it believes to be 
true — and only because they aretnte, in its esti- 
mation. And, conseqtsently, it will adhere to 



INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 65 

them firmly, until convinced by superior evidence 
of their falsity. 

It is to be deeply regretted that in every com- 
munity, " there is a class who will sacrifice men- 
tal freedom and the right of judgment, at the 
shrine of popularity. They will believe any thing 
that is popular, and oppose every thing that is 
right, if it is unpopular." But such a truckling 
and imbecile course, the individual of a firm and 
manly mind most heartily scorns. He does not 
inquire, is this sentiment popular, or fashionable, 
or believed by the multitude, or by the proud and 
the wealthy? But he simply asks, is it true? 
And upon the affirmative decision of this ques- 
tion, alone depends its reception into his belief. 
In selecting their place for public worship, those 
whose minds are independent, do not inquire, who 
attend this meeting or that ? where do the mul- 
titud-e crowd ? where does popularity centre 1 
which is the most fashionable resort? Such 
questions indicate servility and bondage of the 
deepest character. But they only ask, where can 
I listen to the truth ? — and there, fashionable or 
unfashionable, popular or unpopular, they deem 
it their duty to attend. Neither do they conceal 
opinions faithfully formed and honestly believed. 
Those who pretend to believe one sentiment, and 
yet in reality, cherish another — who give their 
public support to doctrines which they at heart 
abhor, can lay no just claim to moral freedom. 
They are to be pitied as involved in a slavery 
6* 



166 "" INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 

which degrades them in their own estimation, a!id 
in that of a discerning public. But independent 
tninds, freely, frankly and openly express their 
sentiments, upon every proper occasion, with a 
just detestation of hypocrisy and dissimulation. 

Those who possess mental freedom, do not allow 
fear to bias them in forming their opinions. Fear, 
T)r cautiousness, is good in its place — it has a 
proper office, and that it should fulfil. But it has 
nothing to do with selecting sentiments for belief, 
or with decision upon the truth or falsity of opin- 
ions. The Creator has bestowed Upon man more 
enlightened, elevated and ennobling faculties for 
this important purpose. He has given us reason 
and judgment, to preside over the emotions of the 
mind ; and to the decision of these high umpires, 
should be brought every question pertaining to our 
opinions. Those who neglect their mental facul- 
ties, and go down to the low passion of jfear, to 
inquire whether they shall adopt or reject senti- 
ments, not only degrade their nature, dishonor 
their high powers, and reject the proper exercise 
of the most valuable of God's gifts, but also throw 
down the bulwarks that have been reared for their 
mental protection, and lay themselves open to the 
assaults of every dark error — every degrading su- 
perstition ! Only agitate their fears — arouse their 
■apprehensions — and no error is so inconsistent or 
monstrous, that they cannot be made to receive 
it — inasmuch as reason, which alone can reveal 
€rror, is distrusted and trodden under foot. 



INDEPENDENCE OV MllMD. 67 

I trust these remarks, young reader, are of suf- 
ficient weight to awaken you to the importance of 
establishing your principles on a foundation char- 
acterized by firmness and independence. It is a 
neglect to exercise these qualities, that has in- 
volved so many youth in the embraces of error, 
vice and misery. Where this qualification of an 
independent mind is lacking, you are exposed to 
the dangers of youthful temptation, to the dele- 
terious influences of pride, fashion, popularity, 
and fear, which can not add one improvement to 
the mind, or impart a single emotion of true hap- 
piness. But armed with this noble characteris- 
tic, the assaults of these powers wiil be as vaia 
as the empty chaff", blown against a firm seated 
rock. 

A proper independence of mind w^Il preserve 
you from the inroad of many debasing influences. 
Are you in the company of the atheist ? It will 
not allow you to fall in with his derision of things 
sacred and divine, but will influence you ever to 
acknowledge and defend your belief in the Gospel 
of Jesus Christ. In reply to his cavillings and 
his witticisms, you will present the broad panoply 
of reason and the lanimpeachable testimony of 
nature. Are you in the presence of the profli- 
gate, who scoff" at religion, morality and virtue? 
Independence of mi^nd will enable you to with- 
stand their temptations, to reprove their sinful 
follies, to rebuke their licentiousness, and to point 
them to the certain evil consequences which fo!- 



68 INDEPENDENCE OP MIND. 

low the transgressor. Do you hear the religidus 
sentiments which you entertain, misrepresented 
or ridiculed? An independent mind will enable 
you, boldly yet courteously, to remove misrepre- 
sentation, and to show that ridicule is a poor sub- 
stitute for sound argument. 

A proper independence of mind will administer 
much to success in all the avocations of life. It 
will influence you to depend more upon your own 
energies, than upon the fluctuations of chance ; 
and your capabilities will, in this manner be de- 
veloped and drawn into activity, with a good as- 
surance of prosperity. It will also gain for you 
the respect of community at large. Nothing 
more sinks an individual's value in the eyes of 
others, than a fickle, unstable mind. No confi- 
dence is placed in his judgment — no weight at- 
tached to his advice — no respect paid to his opin^ 
ions or his resolutions. But whoever evinces a 
firm mind, connected with a good character, will 
invariably obtain the confidence of society. How- 
ever others may differ from him in sentiment, his 
counsel will be sought after, his opinions respect- 
ed, his advice followed. 

This characteristic is also necessary to self-re 
spect. Fickleness of mind in others, you pity, 
yea, almost despise. But when conscious that 
you possess this weakness yourself, or that you 
give way to it on important occasions, the reflec- 
tion will abase you in your own estimation, and 
iead to an improper distrusting of your real powers. 



INDEPENDENCE OP MIND. 69 

In hese circumstances, it will be in vain truly to 
respect yourself, from the depressing conviction 
that you do not possess the confidence of others. 
But an assurance that you have fixed principles, 
and that you have sufficient firmness to assert and 
maintain them, will impart the proper amount of 
confidence in your own capabilities, which is one 
of the important ingredients of success in all un- 
dertakings. It will give an efficiency and firm- 
ness to your deportment that will render your ex- 
ertions easy and unembarrassed. 

Be it your endeavor, therefore, to cultivate a 
judicious and manly independence of rnind — an 
independence as far removed from stubbornness 
as from fickleness — an independence which leaves 
you at liberty, yea, urges you, to listen respect- 
fully and candidly to all proper suggestions, and 
to seek out information wherever it may be found 
and enables you from all your means of knowl- 
edge, to form your own opinions^ irrespective of 
those entertained by others, and to assert and 
maintain those opinions, until convinced of their 
fallacy. Thus will you exercise the ennobling 
prerogative of your nature — bring into exercise 
the high faculties with whicli you have been en- 
dowed, and in a good degree, participate in the 
many blessings which they are capable of im- 
-parting. 



n 



CHAPTER VIII. 

POLITENESS. 

In all communities of intelligent beings, there 
are certain rules, regulations, or customs, adopted 
by general consent, to govern the intercourse of 
one with another. They are termed in our lan- 
guage, poZzieness. It is true, these usages differ 
much m their character. A custom considered 
very polite in one country, is deemed extravagant 
and ridiculous in another. But however these 
practices may vary, certain forms of politeness 
prevail in every class, from the polished circles 
of the highest ranks of civilization, down to the 
barbarous and untutored tribes of the forest. 
Your attention, however, will be directed exclu- 
sively to the general subject of politeness, as un- 
derstood in enlightened countries, and as appli- 
cable to youth of both sexes. 

Singular as the remark may appear, it is quite 
evident to my mind, that the Gospel of the Re- 
deemer, understood in its proper sense, is the only 
perfect source of true politeness. What is po- 

70 



POLITENESg. 71 

liteness ? It is not an air, a simper or a strut — it 
is not the mincing of words, or the formal man- 
ner of expressing sentiments. Politeness is an 
exhibition, through words, sings or tokens, of 
kind and friendly emotions towards those in our 
presence. These emotions cannot be exhibited 
properly in the conduct, unless they really exist 
in the bosom. And they cannot exist in the bo- 
som in their full extent, nor exert their influences, 
unless warmed into life by the spirit of Christ's 
religion. Those individuals whose hearts are 
steeped in the influences of the Gospel — ^who 
view all mankind as their brethren — who love 
them all, (even their enemies,) as directed by 
the Saviour, and who allow these emotions to 
control their conduct, will be truly polite. And 
although their manners, from want of opportuni- 
ty, may not be as polished as those of others, yet 
they will exhibit that spirit of universal kindness 
and good will, which is the spirit of politeness, 
and without which politeness can not in reality 
exist. Hence the first step in the acquisition 
of politeness, is to imbibe the noble, generous, 
liberal and kind feelings, which flow from an en- 
lightened appreciation of the Saviour's teachings 
and examples. These emotions will form a prop- 
er foundation, upon which a polished demeanor 
can be based, and which will render its acquire- 
ment easy and natural. 

As this subject embraces an extensive range, I 
shall be able only to glance briefly at a few of its 



7? poLrrENEss. 

most prominent features. And first yotir atten- 
tion will be directed to a few things that are 
impolite. 

Profane or irreverent language is improper and 
wicked in any place ; but when uttered in com- 
pany is very impolite. It exhibits a low, gross 
and uncultivated mind. Every young man — I 
need not say, every young lady — who would be 
considered polite and well bred, will avoid such 
language as highly derogatory ta genteel man- 
ners. Refrain from low and vulgar anecdotes, 
and indelicate allusions or inuendoes. Nothing 
should be uttered in company, that violates the 
simple rules of modesty. Every thing of this 
nature is both improper and impolite. 

Do not speak loud and long in company. This 
is a fault that young people are liable to commit. 
In the exuberance of their spirits, the voice is 
often raised to a high key, and some favorite 
topic is extended to an immoderate length, to the 
exclusion of all other conversation. This habit 
should be strictly guarded against. Those who 
indulge in it are liabletoutter many things ridicu- 
lous and absurd, and to lay themselves open to 
the just censure of the wise and prudent. Loud 
laughter is also impolite ; and is considered by 
many, as an indication of an empty mind. I 
would by no means banish sociability and pleas- 
antry from the friendly circle. But there should 
be a proper medium observed. The good sense 
of youth, should teach them not to surpass, io 



POLITENESS. 73 

these respects, certain bounds prescribed by pro- 
priety. 

In a mixed company, avoid, if possible, all con- 
tentions and disputes— especially on exciting top' 
ics. If carried to any extent, they lead to the 
exhibition of improper feelings; and generally 
cause the disputants, and the whole company, to 
become unhappy. There may be cases where 
this rule should be departed from ; but such in- 
stances are exceedingly rare. As a general prac- 
tice, the rule should be strictly adhered to. 

Do not permit yourselves, in company, to speak 
disrespectfully of one who is'^absent, if you can 
consistently avoid it. This practice is not only 
impolite, but it is ungenerous and unjust. If it 
becomes necessary to express opinions derogato- 
ry to the character of the absent, speak in guard- 
ed language, and with all the palliations that 
charity and forgiveness can suggest. 

Avoid any exhibitions of anger or petulance. 
They are impolite and immodest — especially so 
in females. They throw you off your guard — 
cause you to utter expressions extremely improp- 
er, and often ridiculous — and place you in cir- 
cumstances very unpleasant. A guard should be 
placed upon the temper. Nothing is more to be 
avoided than the outbreakings of rage. Under 
their mfluence evils are often committed, for 
which a whole after life of propriety can hardly 
atone. 
Be cautious not to interrupt others when speak- 
7 



74 POLITENESS. 

ing. This plainly indicates a'want of good breed- 
ing ; and yet it is a very common practice with 
many. However anxious you may be to utter 
your views, remain silent until those who are 
speaking have concluded. Respect to them, and 
a desii'e to avoid confusion, as well as the rules 
of propriety, dictate a strict adherence to this 
precaution. 

Do not bluntly deny the truth of the opinions 
expressed by those with whom you are conver- 
sing — and more especially if they are aged, or 
their opportunities for obtaining information have 
been superior to yours. If you differ from them, 
express your views in modest and respectful Ian- 
e:uage, and with due deference to their mature 
experience. You should rather suggest the pro- 
priety of a different opinion, than pertinaciously 
assert it. 

Never indulge in ridiculing others in company. 
It is a vulgar and ungenerous practice, and indi- 
cates a narrow, uncultivated mind. All have 
their weaknesses and imperfections — even those 
who possess the most shining talents, have their 
blemishes. "But what an absurd thing it is, to 
pass over all the valuable characteristics of indi- 
viduals, and fix our attention on their infirmities — 
to observe their imperfections more than their 
virtues — and to make use of them for the sport 
of others, rather than for our own improvenaent."* 

♦ Addison, 



POLITENESS. 75 

** The littlest feeling of all, is the delight in con- 
templating the littleness of other people." Per- 
sons acldicted to ridicule, are not usually distin- 
guished for their own wisdom or good sense. 
Like critics who cut up a good publication, with- 
out being able to produce one themselves worth 
reading, so those most given to the ridicule of 
others, are generally themselves deficient in many 
of the valuable characteristics of hmTian nature. 
" If the talent of ridicule were employed to laugh 
men 'ou-t of vice and folly, it might be of some use 
to the world; but, instead of this, we find that it 
is generally made use of, to laugh men out of 
virtue and good sense, by attacking every thing 
that is solemn and serious, decent and praise- 
worthy in human life."* If young people must 
indulge in ridicule, I pray you, act upon the re- 
verse of this observation of the great English 
scholar. Let your talent of ridicule be exercised 
only against immoral and vicious practices — 
against pride, foily, and every species of extrav- 
agance and sin. 

Avoid ridiculing others, on account of their 
appearance or their plainness of dress. Some 
are naturally more awkward in their demeanor 
dian others, and any ridicule on that account, 
will be at the expense of your good sense, in the 
eyes of the discriminating. All tastes do not 
agrp,e in regard to dress You claim the liberty of 

* Addisoa 



% POLITEI^ESS. 

arraying yourselves in such habiliments and style? 
as your fancy dictates. You should be willing' 
to grant the same privilege to others; and should 
no more imagine that you have the right of ridi- 
culing them for not following your taste, than 
they hare of ridiculing you for not imitatinpf 
theirs. And by all means, avoid ridiculing those 
who from poverty, are unable to appear in attire 
as costly or fashionable, as that of community in 
general. This is a cruel, ungenerous, unmanly 
practice. It is not only impolite, but it is really 
inhuman. It displays a selfish spirit, a shallow 
mind, and a heart devoid of the gentler suscep- 
tibilities of our nature. No individual — male or 
female — can justly lay the least claim to polite- 
ness or generosity, who exhibits a feeling. so mean 
and brutal. Instead of basely indulging in the 
ridicule of the poor, you should be inclined to 
drop the tear of pity over their misfortunes, to 
commiserate their condition, to sooth them and 
reconcile them to their situations, and, if possi- 
ble, to do something, or say something, that will 
shed a few rays of enjoyment into their hearts. 
Individuals possessing true politeness, will exhibit 
towards people in low circumstances as to prop- 
erty, none but emotions of a kind, humane and 
generous character. And they will not judge oi 
their worth by their poverty. But looking be- 
yond the outward circumstances, to the qualities 
of the heart, they will honor and commend in- 
tegrity, virtue and purity, as readily when clothed 



POLITENESS. 77 

in "worn and humble garments, as when arrayed 
iu "purple and fine linen." 

We will now briefly examine the affirmative of 
this subject, and notice a few characteristics that 
pertain to politeness. I have once remarked that 
true politeness, is an exhibition, through outward 
signs and tokens, of kind and friendly emotions 
towards those in your presence. Or in other 
words, politeness is a desu-eto make those around 
you happy. A disposition to be pleasant and 
agreeable, therefore, is one of the first requisites 
of politeness. It is impossible for those who are 
morose and ill tempered, to be polite. They may 
assume the outward form, the shadow, but the 
spirit of true politeness will be wanting. If from 
misfortune, disappointment, or vexatious difficul- 
ties, or illnesSj your feelings are in an unhappy or 
irritable state, you had far better refrain frora 
mingling in company, while such is your condi- 
tion, than to make others wretched by a display 
of your ill feelings. Strive, therefore, while you 
are in company, to be good humored, cheerful 
and kindly disposed. With these feelings in full 
activity, you can not well avoid being polite. 
And it is encouraging to know that with every 
effort to entertain and exhibit these emotions^ 
they will increase in stability and extent, until 
they become a second nature, and habitually per- 
vade your minds. 

Gratitude is another ingredient of politeness. 
What can appear more dishonorable or selfish, 
7* 



f^ i»0LITEl*fES3. 

than an insensibility to proffered kindness *?-*» 
what more ill bred or impolite? The uncultiva^ 
ted boor, will, under the dictation of nature, re- 
turn thanks for favors. And it surely becomes 
those who would improve their manners, not to 
be unmindful of this subject. Every attention 
which you receive from others, is an indication of 
the kindness which they cherish towards you. 
In this light should they be received and properly 
acknowledged. 

As Washington was once walking with a dis- 
tinguished gentleman, they met a negro, who, in 
passing, saluted them. The General gracefully 
returned the salutation. His companion express- 
ed much surprise, that he should return the bow 
of a black man. " Sir," said Washington, 
"should I permit this poor negro to exceed me 
in politeness ?" This was an instance of genu- 
ine politeness. While the impolite man would 
have passed stiffly and haughtily by, without con- 
descending to notice the African's indication of 
respect, the noble minded personage, who then 
occupied the highest station on earth, acknowl- 
edged, by a suitable return, his sense of the ne- 
gro's attention. To be grateful for all, even the 
smallest favors granted you, the smallest indica- 
tions of respect, and to express your gratitude by 
some word, or in some intelligible manner, is im- 
periously demanded by politeness. While it is 
gratifying to have acts of kindness noticed and 
appreciated, it is exceedingly painful to have 



POLITENESS* 79 

them coldly received, with no indications of 
thankfulness. 

In entertaining a mixed company, much de- 
pends upon the host or hostess. It should be 
your great object in such a situation, to make all 
your company, if possible, feel pleasant and agree- 
able. You should not, therefore, confine your 
attentions or conversation to one, or any select 
number ; but they should be equally directed to 
all. And in your conversation, you should dis- 
criminate between the different degrees of infor- 
mation, and the different occupations of your 
guests. Each individual should be addressed on 
subjects in regard to which they are considered 
the best informed ;. and your conversation with 
them should be so directed as to relieve them 
from embarrassment, and bring out their peculiar 
excellencies and acquirements. From these im^- 
partial attentions, all feel that they are duly ap* 
preciated, all are gratified, and all enjoy thenv 
selves. You should, in one sense, forget yourselfj 
to make those in your presence agreeable. And 
yet all these attentions should be executed in so 
delicate and artless a manner, as scarcely to al- 
low them to perceive that your object is to make 
them appear well, and to minister to their enjoy- 
ment. 

Always attend to those who address you, and 
give due heed to their remarks. Inattention in 
this respect, is exceedingly rude, and indicates a 
lack of good breeding. Do not frequently change 



POLITENESS. 



vonr posture by rising up or slttins^ clown, or 
walking about, while another is spealdnir to you. 
It will be construed into a neglect of their worth 
or a desire to avoid their conversation. Whis- 
pering and holding private discourse in company * 
is very improper and impolite. 

Respect to the aged, is another trait of polite- 
ness. It is extremely indecorous to make those 
advanced in years, the subject of ridicule, de- 
^ rision or laughter. Gray hairs should ever be 
treated with deference and respect. The aged 
have long borne the burdens of life— they have 
administered to the welfare of society, and to the 
prosperity and enjoyment of those who are now 
young. It becomes your duty, as the palsy ot 
age creeps upon them, incapacitating them for 
active duties and for labors, to honor and rever- 
ence them— to cherish and support them, and 
render " the downhill of life," as agreeable and 
pleasant as possible. No sight is more delightful 
than to behold the young assiduously engaged in 
respectful attentions to the aged — while there is 
no greater lack of politeness, no plainer indication 
of an unfeeling heart, than to treat the aged with 
neglect, disrespect or harshness. 

Before closing this subject, I cannot refrain 
from again directing your attention to the real 
nature of politeness. People, generally, are too 
ready to judge of its existence by exterior appear- 
ance and manners. When persons enter a room 
with ease, make a graceful bow, and are very for- 



POLITENESS. SI 

mal and ceremonious, they are called polite. 
But althouofh a due attention to formalities is 
proper, yet they do not constitute all of polite- 
ness — they are, indeed, as has once been said, 
but its shadow, and may be, and often are, assum- 
ed where no genuine politeness exists. True 
politeness, I repeat, consists in entertaining kind 
and friendly feelings towards others, and in ex- 
hibiting those emotions in your manners. There- 
fore, to be polite, in the just acceptation of that 
word, you must cultivate the generous feelings of 
the heart — you must see that this fountain of hu- 
man emotions is purified, and that nothing there 
exists but good will towards all your fellow-beings. 
With the affections in this state, politeness, al- 
most without effort, will shine in your intercouse. 
with the world. There will be no cold affecta- 
tion, no heartless hypocrisy ; but with a moderate 
degree of outward cultivation, the manners will 
be graceful and polite. 



CHAPTER IX. 

LETTER-WRITING. 

Although this subject may be viewed by some, 
as of little importance, yet it should by no means 
be overlooked by the young. There are few 
youth of either sex, who will not find it necessary 
to correspond with relatives and friends, and of- 
ten with strangers. And few there are, who do 
not desire to have their letters appear well in the 
sight of those to whom they are addressed. 

The first requisite in letter-writing is care in 
the penmanship. It should be your effort to have 
your writing plain and distinct. It is true, the 
penmanship of all can not possess the same ele- 
<rance and finish : but all can and should exert 
themselves to have their letters as legible and 
neat as possible — free from blots, and with as little 
interlining as may be. You should also endeav- 
or to punctuate your composition properly and 
distinctly. It is no small labor to peruse a letter 
without stop or point of any kind. In such cases, 
it is difficult to obtain the meaning of the writer, 



LETTER-WRITING. 83 

and ludicrous, and sometimes fatal mistakes, are 
in this manner occasioned. The necessity of both 
spelling and punctuating correctly, is exemplified 
in the old and familiar anecdote, of the note hand- 
ed to the minister, in some town on the sea-board. 
It read as follows : "A man going to see his wife, 
desires the prayers of the congregation." When 
read as thus written, it was perfectly ridiculous. 
But by changing the word see to sea, and remo- 
ving the comma from after the word wife to the 
word sea, the meaning of the writer is expressed 
as follows: "A man going to sea, his wife desires 
the prayers of the congregation." 

Great caution should be exercised in regard to 
the contents of letters. Let it be remembered 
that letters are often preserved a great length of 
time, and frequently come into hands of whom 
the writers little thought, while penning them. 
Injudicious letters are liable, through accident or 
other causes, to stray into the possession of those 
who will wield them greatly to your disadvantage. 
Many individuals would give half their Avealth, 
to recall letters hastily written, or to blot out sen- 
tences incautiously inserted. " We ought nol 
to write any thing of which we may hereafter feel 
ashamed. Well written letters are as often burnt 
or destroyed, as slovenly or indiscreet epistles 
are, by accident or design, preserved, to rise up ia 
fodgment against us hereafter."* An instance 

* Young Ladies' Own Book. 



84 LETTER-WRITING. 

in point lately occurred. At the decease of the 
celebrated Aaron Burr, among his papers were 
found letters received in former years, which, had 
they been made public, would have ruined the 
characters of many individuals moving in the 
highest circles. Exercise your judgment upon 
this subject. Write nothing to the most intimate 
friend that would cause you to blush or feel de- 
graded, were it read by strangers. I desire not 
that ycu should circumscribe the free and frank 
expression of thought, but would rather com- 
mend it. Write to your correspondents as you 
would converse with them, had you the opportu- 
nity — but as you would converse with them in 
the 'presence, of others. 

If possible, avoid writing disparagingly of the 
character of any. Inadvertencies in this respect, 
are the frequent causes of difficulty and conten- 
tion. Sentences of this nature often find their 
way to ears for which they were least designed 
If it becomes necessary to state your opinion of 
the character of any individual, communicate 
your sentiments in a frank, yet kind manner — 
write nothing as truth, that you do not know to 
be true — avoid deleterious insinuations — in fine, 
write as you would, were you addressmg the per- 
son in reference to whose character you are ma- 
king your statements. 

Avoid in your letters, all expressions of anger 
— all profane or vulgar language — all indelicate 
words and allusions. Write with the same re- 



LETTER-WRITING, 85 

strictions under which you would speak were the 
person present whom you address — hearing in 
mind, that when your letters are perused by 
strangers, they will form an estimate of your char- 
acter and manners, from the nature aad style of 
their contents. 

In your correspondence, you should keep in 
view your own station and circumstances, and the 
rank and condition of the individual whom you 
address. In writing to relatives and intimate 
friends, you should express yourself in a different 
manner than when addressing a stranger. In the 
former case, you should be warm, affectionate 
and familiar — in the latter, more reserved, yet re- 
spectful, candid and concise. 

Regularity in correspondence, should be ob- 
served. Many are very negligent in this respect — 
putting off writing from day to day and week to 
week. This is an unnecessary habit, arising solely 
from sheer indolence, and often causing much dis- 
appointment and inquietude. Write promptly, at 
the proper time, without any unnecessary delay. 
Youth who are absent from home should be punc- 
tual in this respect. As children leave the abode 
of their infancy, the sun-light of their parents' 
joys waxes dim and more dim — as stars, the cher- 
ished objects of love vanish one by one from the 
family galaxy, leaving darkness and gloom be- 
hind. While, in mixing with the busy multitude 
and engaging in the exciting avocations and 
amuseraenis of active life, the hours pass lightly 
8 



86 LETTER- WRITING. 

over your heads, you should remember that to 
your parents, in consequence of your absence, 
time drags with leaden step; and that nothing so 
cheers their aged hearts, as letters from the absent 
and loved ones. The young, therefore, should 
often think of their home, of their venerable pa^ 
Tents, and the peculiarities of their situation. Of- 
ten should you despatch letters laden with love 
and filial affection, and kind expressions of regard, 
to light up the evening of their days, with smiles 
of joy. Oh ! how highly are those written mes- 
sengers prized by the father and the mother ! 
Anxiously do they await them, and eagerly do 
they devour their contents. They are as angePs 
visits, diffusing consolation and peace. The mel- 
ancholy caused by separation, is felt much more 
sensibly by those who remain at home, than by 
those who go out into the world. 

Be cautious, in giving letters of recommenda- 
tion, that the individual whom you would benefit, 
actually possesses the qualifications you enumer- 
ate. If you deceive in this respect, it will injure 
your integrity, and detract from your influence. 
Give no such letters, except in cases whore you 
feel perfectly assured of the worth of those who 
bear your testimonials. 

Never be guilty of circulating anonymous let- 
ters, or of assuming false signatures.* These 

• The reader will understand that I do not allude to fic- 
titious signatures in writing for the public prints, where 
vli(>y are alien properly assumed. But even in thicj respect 



LETTER-WRITING, 87 

are low, base practices, utterly beneath the lady 
or gentleman. They should be heartily reproba- 
ted and despised. If you desire to give advice or 
to warn of danger, or to make any communica- 
Cion to an individual, do it under your own proper 
signature, with all frankness and candor. If you 
can not proceed in this open, manly manner, re- 
frain entirely from all interference. The motives 
of anonymous writers are ever suspected— they 
are almost invariably detected and exposed, and 
do not fail to meet that public execration and dis- 
gust which they too frequently richly merit. 

they are sometimes resorted to for the basest purposea 
As a general rule, it is better in writing for the public, to 
use at least the ini^-inls of your name. 



CHAPTER X. 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 



That man is by nature, a religious beings is a 
truth so evident, and so universally acknowledg- 
ed, that it has passed into an axiom. A religious 
propensity or a desire to worship, is one of the 
constituent principles of the human mind. Where- 
ever a human being is found, throughout the 
globe, this religious principle is perceived, lead- 
ing him to seek out and adore some object, power 
or being, whom he believes exercises a control 
over his enjoyments and his destiny. If he can 
not perceive properties calling for wo^^hip in one 
object, he will in another — if he is ignorant of, or 
disbelieves in the existence of one supreme, in- 
telligent Being, he will worship three or a thou- 
sand — or will reverence a beast, a reptile, a block, 
or unintelligent matter. This religious propen- 
sity, like the other powers of mind, must be cul- 
tivated and enlightened, ere it can impart all the 
benefit of which it is capable — and M'hen so en- 
lightened, it becomes the source of the purest 

88 



RELIGIOUS OPIMONS. 89 

happiness "withia the reach of man on earth. 
But when it is uncultivated and swayed by igno- 
rance, doubt or superstition, it leads to the belief 
of the wildest vagaries of the imagination and to 
much mental pain. 

An enlightened and consistent religious belief, 
should be viewed by youth as one of the first and 
most important of human acquisitions. It forms 
a stable and secure basis, upon which all the 
proper enjoyments of life can be safely founded. 
All other sources of earthly happiness, depend 
upon many contingencies, and are liable to fluc- 
tuation and decay. But a reasonable and scrip- 
tural system of religion, when once firmly settled 
in the mind, is subject to no variation from time 
or events. It is a pure stream of running water, 
whose fountain is far removed, alike from the 
scorching heat of Summer and the icy chains of 
Winter. Prosperity can not dry it up, neither 
can adversity freeze it. In seasons of success, it 
heightens every comfort, and it turns the edge of 
the keenest afliictions. It is a friend that never 
forsakes ; but stands by the firmer, when its as- 
sistance is most needed. 

I am aware that youth, generally, are inclined 
to view the subject of religion in an unfavorable 
liglit. But I attribute this disinclination, to the 
manner and form in which the topic has been 
presented to them, rather than to any innate 
aversion. They have been led — or, rather mis- 
led — to look upon religion as something gloomy, 



90 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS, 

melancholy, fearful— as something calculated to 
deprive ihem of the amusements and enjoyments 
proper to their age — something that makes life 
sad, tasteless and wearisome. But I would say 
to the youth whose eye is resting on these lines, 
that such views of religion are radically and 
wholly erroneous. Words of purer truth were 
never uttered, than those contained in the poet's 
stanza : — 

" Religion never was designed 
To malce our pleasures less." 

It never was designed by its Author to take from 
you one enjoyment, proper to you as a rational 
and moral being, or to deprive you of a single 
emotion of true pleasure — it never was intended 
to make you melancholy or in any way unhappy. 
But the object and influences of the pure reli- 
gion of the Gospel, are directly the reverse. So 
far from depriving you of enjoyment, the religion 
of the Redeemer would make you happy. And 
to this end it is designed, to point out to you, the 
true pleasures from i\\e false — the sources o^ real 
gratification, in distinction to those that are de- 
ceitful and unsatisfying. It would enable you to 
distinguish between the pure gold, and those ob- 
jects which are but gilded — between the substance 
and the shadow. True religion would induce you 
to avoid those practices, sometimes falsely termed 
pleasure, which lead to degradation, wretchedness 
and ruin, and which always leave the sting of 
death J and in their place, would impart those 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONg. 91 

enjoyments which are pure and permanent, and 
which increase in value as age advances. True 
religion is not designed to overshadow the path- 
way of life with the dark clouds of despondency, 
tut to cheer it with the bright sunshine of peace 
and contentment — a sunshine that will beam upon 
you with its most vivid brightness, in those mo- 
ments when you would otherwise be surrounded 
by darkness and despair. 

Do you not perceive, my young friends, the 
great importance of endeavoring to cultivate your 
religious faculties ? Would you avoid unhappi- 
ness and degradation? would you enjoy pleasure, 
comfort, peace? Obtain correct views of religion, 
and you will assuredly escape the former and 
secure the latter, to as great an extent as imper- 
fect mortals can expect in this state of existence, 
I have said correct views of religion, because er- 
roneous religious sentiments, can not produce 
these beneficial results. Indeed, error in religion 
is one of the most fruitful sources of wretched- 
ness. There are false sentiments sometimes 
conveyed under the garb of Christianity, which 
fill the mind of the believer Avith pain and an- 
guish inexpressible — and the more firmly they are 
Relieved, the more dreadful are the consequences. 
But these sentiments, remember, pertain not to 
the religion of Jesus Christ. They are errors en- 
grafted upon the lovely system of the Gospel, in 
those long centuries of darkness and ignorance, 
which soon succeeded the apostolic age. With 



©2 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

proper scrutiny these errors can readily be de- 
tected. There is such an incongruity, such a 
want of harmony, and such a perfect contradic- 
tion between them and all the prominent and be- 
nevolent characteristics of the Gospel, that the 
clear and unprejudiced mind, can at once distin- 
guish between their teachings and origin. While 
the instructions of one, are every thing kind, mer- 
ciful, and benevolent, the other promulgates all 
that is dark, and horrid, and cruel — while one 
originated from infinite Wisdom on high, the 
other is the unholy fruit of the disordered ima- 
ginations of men. 

In forming your religious opinions, it is neces- 
sary that great caution be exercised, or you may 
imbibe error instead of truth. I will mention a 
few rules that will assist you in your researches 
on this important subject. 

Let reason be the guiding star in all your in- 
vestigations. God has formed you reasoning be- 
ings ; and he could have had no object in imparting 
this high faculty, but that you should exercise it 
on all subjects within your cognizance. To dis- 
regard the dictates of this reason is derogatory to 
your character, extremely dangerous to your 
peace, and an abuse of the most valuable earthly 
gift of your Creator. You should perceive the 
truth of these remarks, and permit them to sink 
deep into your minds, before you commence set- 
tling your religious views. With reason, un- 
"swayed by passion or prejudice, for your guide 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 93 

you can hardly err in religion ; but deprived of 
its directing light, all is darkness and uncertainty, 
and without fail, you will grope your way into 
that error which generates misery. 

I am aware that it has been fashionable with 
certain sectarists, to decry the exercise of reason 
upon the subject of religion. But you should 
distrust all such exhortations. They are never 
resorted to except to support error and delusion — 
they are never brought forward but as a last re- 
sort, to chain mankind to doctrines and creeds 
that are passing away before the increasing light 
of Gospel truth. Reflect. — Suppose you were to 
comply with such instructions, and adopt the rule 
not to consult your reasoning faculties in regard 
to the subject of religion. Do you not perceive 
the degradation of such a condition ? Do you 
not discover that you would be liable to adopt as 
truth, any absurdity, any wild vagary of the hu- 
man imagination, however incongruous or mon- 
strous ? Your wisdom will dictate the propriety 
of avoiding a course so dishonorable to your high 
endowments. You will make it an invariable 
rule never to adopt a sentiment within your com- 
prehension, that is not in perfect accordance with 
reason. 

I would here caution you that there is an ob- 
vious and important distinction between a princi- 
ple or fact that is unreasonable^ and one that is 
above reason, or beyond the reach of your reason- 
ins: faculties. That the flowers of the field and 



94 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

the trees of the forest, grow from the earth in a 
gradual progression, is reasonable — to maintain 
on the contrary, that they sprung forth at once, in 
full growth, and proportion, would be unreason- 
able — but to account for the whole process by 
which this phenomenon is produced — to under- 
stand the art by which nature paints the rose and 
the lily, in colors so beautiful and dazzling as far 
to surpass all man's imitative art — is beyond. 
reason ! Let these distinctions be kept in view, 
and applied in your religious investigations. 
That it must have required a Being possessing 
infinite intelligence, and omnipotent power, to 
create all those countless worlds and systems 
which are scattered through immensity of space, 
and to originate those laws by which their mo- 
tions are guided with so much precision — is a 
reaso7iable proposition. — No sane mind can throw 
otf this conviction. But whence that mighty 
Being came, the mode of his existence, and the 
manner of exercising his powers, are subjects 
entirely above our reason — beyond the utmost 
stretch of our limited capacities. Were these 
subjects audibly explained to us by an angel from 
on high, we could not comprehend them with our 
present feeble powers. But because our weak 
faculties can not grasp these topics, shall we re- 
vert to the other extreme, and declare that no 
God exists? Consistent, well-balanced minds 
do not reflect in this manner. The one would be 
to tlie same degree unreasonable, that the other 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 95 

is above reason. It is your prerogative and your 
duty, to follow and adopt the conclusions of rea- 
son, as far as your faculties can ascend. But 
there is a limit which will bound its upward 
progress, and here your researches must cease — 
it is in vain to endeavor to penetrate beyond this 
bound — your every effort will be baffled. You 
will perceive before you an ocean without bounds 
— it is the ocean of Infinity ! And although you 
can not fathom or measure that ocean, yet there 
is both pleasure and profit in lingering on its bor- 
ders and gazing upon its vast extent — now and 
then allowing thought to take an adventurous 
flight out upon its bosom, to obtain such truths as 
may be Avithin the reach of its feeble wing ! But 
because you can not exceed this limit of the hu- 
man intellect, should you doubt or disbelieve that 
which is reasonable, within your comprehension 1 
The scholar who should contend that because he 
can not solve Euclid's problems, therefore he has 
reason to doubt that two added to three^ make 
Jive^ would be considered extremely ignorant! 
Does it not display equal inconsistency, to disbe- 
lieve one of the most reasonable and self-evident 
truths that ever appealed to the human mind — 
viz., the existence of an intelligent Creator — 
simply because the human faculties can not span 
infinity, and understand tb« mode of his being? 
Every discerning youth will at once perceive 
the absurdity of such a course, and avoid the rock 
upon which so many have foundered. 



96 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

I deem it important again to warn you against 
the influence ot fear. This debasing passion 
should not be permitted to exercise any control 
in your decisions upon religious sentiments. Fear 
was not made umpire of the mind, to decide be- 
tween truth and error — for it can not possibly dis- 
tinguish the one from the other. If you permit 
fear to usurp the throne of reason, and to reign 
with triumphant sway over the reflections and 
conclusions of the mind, you commit treason 
against your own nature, and enter into a bond 
age more grievous than the chains and stripes of 
bodily slavery Give the mental reins into the 
hands of fear, and you will be driven into falla- 
cies the most absurd, and errors the most perni- 
cious. Never, therefore, allow fear to intermed- 
dle with the decisions of your mind, for it is the 
criterion of brutes, and not of rational beings. 

In forming your religious opinions, I can not 
too strongly urge upon your attention the impor- 
tance of faithfully perusing the Scriptures of the 
Old and New Testaments. The volume of in- 
spiration should be your constant companion, 
' You should be perfeclly familiar with its contents 
— with all its prominent precepts and doctrines. 

In perusing the Scriptures, let plain, common 
sense be your guide in regard to their teachings. 
From the languages in which the Bible was ori- 
ginally written — from its frequent allusions to 
manners and customs, to sayings and maxims, to 
forms of government and the condition of nations, 



RELI610DS OPINfONS. 97 

ss all these existed at the different and distant 
times when its several portions were penned — it 
is to be expected that allusions will occasionally 
be made in that book, which we can not now 
fully understand — and an understanding of which 
would, indeed, be of little avail. It should, there- 
fore, be your object in perusing the word of God, 
to obtain a clear view of the leading doctrines^ 
the great, general principles, which it inculcates. 
A little candid attention will satisfy you, that a 
perfect harmony exists throughout its pages — 
that there are certain important doctrines char- 
acterized by truth, wisdom and the purest benev- 
olence, every where proclaimed in that blessed 
volume. And a comparison of the teachings of 
Nature with the prominent declarations of the 
Scriptures, will convince every enlightened mind 
that there is a perfect harmony between them, 
and that both have proceeded from the same 
source. 

If you observe a passage of Scripture whichy 
at first sight, would seem to contradict the lead- 
ing principles proclaimed in the Scriptures, it 
should receive your earnest attention and a criti- 
cal examination. You should be slow to admit 
to your own mind, that it is contradictory. Ob- 
serve the connexion in which it is found — ascer- 
tain who was its author, and to whom it was writ- 
ten, and what were the circumstances of both 
parties — and learn the nature and bearing of the 
subject that is treated upon. If it contains words 
9 



98 RELIGI0D3 OPINIONS. 

of varying or of a disputed meaning, criticise those 
words; ascertain their origin, the manner in which 
they are used, and the meaning they are made to 
convey in other portions of the inspired writings. 
Consult the opinions of writers of different sects, 
in regard to its signification — and, in fine, let no 
measures within your power, be lacking, that will 
throw light upon the subject. If you faithfully 
pursue this course, with your minds open to con- 
viction, you can become perfectly satisfied in re- 
gard to the teachings of every such passage — and 
you will also become perfectly assured that the 
sentiments of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, are 
characterized wholly by the purest philanthropy, 
and the most impartial love and kindness. 

Frequent meditation upon the character of 
God^ as revealed in the Scriptures and in the 
works of nature, is another valuable means of 
obtaining correct views of religion. The Bible 
declares that Jehovah possesses infinite wisdom, 
omnipotent power, and boundless and impartial 
goodness. — And nature; in every part, in every 
operation, proclaims that its Author possesses 
the same characteristics. Christians of every 
sect unite in ascribing these attributes to Deity, 
Here, then, are settled, undisputed premises, from 
which you can proceed with satisfactory certain- 
ty, to draw conclusions respecting the purposes 
and dealings of God, in regard to man. To at- 
tribute any work or design to the Maker, which 
would contradict the existence or perfect infiu- 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 99 

ence of either of these attributes, would evidently 
be erroneous. No conclusion can be more cer- 
tain than this. 

It is exceedingly important that the young 
should make the attributes of God the subject of 
frequent meditation and patient study. The dis- 
tinction between the different attributes — the in- 
fluence which each must necessarily exert in the 
counsels of the Most High-— the particular office 
which each fulfils and the work which each per- 
forms, in carrying into a perfectly successful ex- 
ecution the benevolent plans of the Father of 
spirits — should be well understood. God's attri- 
butes are all infinitely perfect. It cannot ration- 
ally be supposed that any attribute which exists 
in infinite perfection in Jehovah's nature, can act 
imperfectly when it is brought into a practical 
application to human affairs, in the forwarding 
of the great and benevolent designs of Provi- 
dence. To believe this, is to attribute actual im- 
perfection to the attribute itself, and also to God 
its possessor. Whatever is infinitely perfect in 
itself will act in infinite perfection, in all the 
works in which it engages. Therefore whenever 
the Creator's wisdom, power, and goodness are 
exercised in the accomplishment of any purpose, 
it must finally be completed in a manner that 
shall perfectly accord with the dictates of infinite 
wisdom and infinite goodness. 

Let it also be remembered that the attributes 
of the Deity are all infinitely active. Stupor, 
indifference, negligence, cannot pertain to them. 



100 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

Goodness is continually prompting the Creator 
to great and glorious works designed to confer 
benefit, enjoyment, upon sentient creatures. Wis- 
dom is ever active in laying enlightened and per- 
fect plans, and providing efficient ways and 
means, for the successful execution of the works 
prompted by Goodness. And Pow«r, with all its 
omnipotent energies at command, is full of ac- 
tivity to carry the promptings of Goodness and 
the plans of Wisdom into complete and triumph- 
ant execution. Whatever infinite Goodness can 
really desire the Creator to do, for angels or for 
men, infinite Wisdom and Power are capable of 
accomplishing. These positions are perfectly 
self-evident. 

Moreover, it is all-important to possess a know- 
ledge of the relation which each of God's attri- 
butes bears to all the others, and which all bear 
to each. As a first step to a right understanding 
of Jehovah's nature, it is essential to understand 
that his attributes do not hold an antagonistic at- 
titude towards each other — that there is no jar- 
ring, no conflicting in their demands, or claims 
■upon the Creator. His Wisdom will not plan, 
nor his Power execute any design, which his in- 
finite Goodness disclaims and rejects. Neither 
does his justice make any demands that are in 
opposition to the desires or claims of his Mercy. 
And men, to have consistent religious sentiments, 
•should entertain no opinions of the dealings of 
our heavenly Father with his creatures, which 
bring his attributes into conflict with each other. 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. lOl 

Any religious belief, which directly or virtually 
involves this result, must necessarily be errone- 
ous. Reject unhesitatingly all such views. They 
equally violate God's word, and man's reason. 
The bright circle of Jehovah's attributes exists 
in unbroken harmony together. And in perfect 
harmony they act, in all the works and ways of 
Deity — each drawing vitality, power, and infinite 
efficiency, from the union and the sympathetic 
co-operation of all. 

In measuring the benefits which men can expect 
to receive from God, especially in another life, let 
not the standard be man's worthiness — for that, 
alas ! at best, can truly demand but little — ^but let 
the gifts of the Creator be measured by the desire 
and capability of the infinite Donor ! He who has 
but little, can give but little to objects of charity; 
but he who has much — who has an infinity of re- 
sources at command— can rationally be expected 
to give in accordance to his boundless means. 

There are two extremes relating to religion, 
into which you should sedulously avoid running, 
viz., infidelity and fanaticism. The one rejects the 
most reasonable propositions — the other believes 
the most unreasonable, when enforced by fear. — 
They form the extreme outposts of incredulity 
and credulity. Both indicate the weakness in 
which the human mind is sometimes permitted 
to exist, and both are unworthy rational beings. 
— Minds of such character, approximate to each 
other much nearer than is generally supposed. 

9* 



102 REIJC-ICKJS OPINIONS. 

Take off the restraint of /ear from the fanatic, 
without enlightening the mind, and at one leap, 
he goes into infidelity. Bring the powerful im- 
pulse of fear to bear upon the skeptic, and he 
becomes the raging and illiberal fanatic ! Th'C 
sound, well-balanced mind, occupies the medium 
ground between these extremes. While it adopts 
all that is reasonable on ev^ery subject, it rejects 
every thing unreasonable, without permitting fear 
to influence, its conclusions in the least. That 
medium ground, which is based upon the Gospel 
of Jesus Christ, every youth who would be saved 
from errors, degrading and distressing, should be 
■cautious to occupy. 

Has your mind become entangled in the dark, 
mystic web of the skeptic ? — has your belief in 
the existence of a supreme, intelligent Creator 
been for a moment shaken ? Go out at evening 
and gaze upon the bright stars of heaven. What 
beauty — what order — what harmony ! All speed- 
ing with inconceivable velocity, in their vast cir- 
cles, yet with no interference — no confusion. Re- 
flect calmly on that Power — 



-whose finger set aright 



This exquisite machme, with all its wheels, 
Though intervolved, exact, " 

Could chance,. or the operation of unintelligent 
laws, call into being all those mighty orbs, and 
clothe them with beauty, and arrange them in or- 
der? Co'jld chance trace out their vast orbits, 
give them an impetus which no power less thaw 



RELIGIOUS OriNIONS. " 103 

omnipotence can arrest, and originate those laws 
by which all their movements are guided and 
controlled ? In your candid moments, when rea- 
son has the uncontrolled ascendancy, you can 
not bring your mind to this puerile conclusion. 
Examine critically, and understandingly, the ar- 
gument which the poet draws from the starry 
heavens — 

" Much design 



Is seen in all their motions, all their makes : 

Design implies intelligence, and art : 

That can't be from ourselves — or man ; that art 

Man scarce can comprehend, could man bestow 1 « 

Who, motion, foreign to the smallest grain, 

Shot through masses of enormous weight? 

Who bid brute matter's restive lump assume 

Such various forms, and gave it wings to fly 1 

Has matter innate motion 1 Then each atom 

Asserting its indisputable right 

To dance, would form a universe of dust. 

Has matter none ? Then whence these glorious forms 

And boundlesa flights, from shapeless, and reposed? 

Has matter more than motion 1 Has it thought, 

Judgment and genius ? Is it deeply learned 

In mathematics 1 Has it framed such laws, 

Which, but to guess, a Newton made immortal 1 

If so, how each sage atom laughs at me, 

Who think a clod inferior to a man"? 

If art to form, and counsel to conduct — 

And that with greater, far, than human skill — 

Resides not in each block — a Godhead reigna! 

Grant then, invisible, eternal Mind ; 

That granted, all is solved. " 

When attempts are made to unsettle your con- 
fidence in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, see that 
you are not led astray by cavilling and sophistry; 



104 RELIGIOUS opimofis* 

on points of no importance. The skeptic him* 
self, can not but acknowledge the great value of 
the moral precepts of the Gospel. He must ad- 
mit, that to cause harmony, brotherly kindness 
and peace, to prevail throughout the habitations 
of man — to allow the human race to enjoy all 
the happiness of which they are capable in this 
world — all that is requisite, is the universal dif- 
fusion and the universal practice of the rules of 
moral conduct enjoined by the Saviour. Why, 
then, should they oppose the spread of a religion 
possessing these benign characteristics ? Will it 
have a tendency to cause men to live in that vir- 
tuous and peaceful manner, so requisite to public 
welfare, by taking from them the volume that 
alone can lead them into such a course of life ? 
Call upon the skeptic for a system of religion or 
morals, that has more valuable properties — that 
will have a greater tendency to make men virtu- 
ous, peaceful and happy — that will infuse bright- 
er prospects or sweeter hopes into the mind, than 
that contained in the New Testament. And 
never forsake your adherence to the Gospel of 
the Redeemer, until that better system is put into 
your possession.* 

♦ Females can not be too much on their guard against 
the assaults of skepticism. Nothing appears more unnat- 
ural and abhorrent, than a female skeptic. It seems im- 
possible that any woman can become so, who is aware of 
the actual influences of Christianity, and of the immense 
benefit it has conferred upon her sex. Is it inquired, 
what has Christianity done especially for wornan 1 I an- 
Bvver-it found her sex degraded and debased— the slave 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. lOS 

In regard to the authenticity of the New Tes- 
tament, there is a short method of reasoninsr, 
that should have a satisfying influence upon your 
minds. That book could not have been written 
t)y wicked and deceitful men. It is impossible to 
conceive any rational motive that could influence 
Quch men to forge a volume, which, in every line, 
deeply condemns their own conduct, and holds 
them up to the reprehension of their fellow-be- 
ings. What could induce bad, corrupt men, to 

^f man — viewed as only fitted to abid^ his bidding and 
subserve his pleasures. From this low estate, Christiani- 
ty has raised woman up to an equality witli the other sex, 
in a moral and mental point oi" view — it has made her 
the companion of man, instead of his slave — and enabled 
her to become the sharer of his joys^ his triumphs, and 
his acquirements. All the moral and isitellectual advan- 
tages that females enjoy in Christian lands, above the 
members of the same sex in savage and ignorant nations, 
have been procured solely throuoh the ameliorating and 
heavenly infiuences of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! Look 
abroad over the earth. Wherever Christianity sheds its 
benign light, females are elevated, improved, respected 
and honored — wherever Christianity is not known., there 
they continue the degraded, wretched servants of man I 
Surely, then, females who are swayed by the principles 
«f propriety and self-respect — who desire their sex to 
maintain the elevated ctation they now occupy — who 
would have their rights, their virtues respected, and their 
mental and moral capabilities appreciated and improved 
— will not assist in destroying that beautiful system of 
Christianity, which has given them this elevation, and 
which alone supports it. Neither will they give their as- 
flistanee or countenance to those who are engaged in this 
blind and mad work of destruction. At least no female 
"will pursue this suicidal policy, but she who prefers abase- 
ment, slavery and infamy, to virtue, dignity and an hon- 
orable equality with man — bat she who chooses the dark- 
ness, ignorance, and the licentiousness of barbarism, to 
€he ligbtj elevation and modesty of civilization. 



100 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

compose a book containing the most perfect code 
of morals of which the human mind can con- 
ceive ? Could such men have written such a 
volume ? No. The New Testament must have 
been written, then, by men of virtue and integ- 
rity — men who felt the value of its instructions. 
And certainly men of this character would not 
deliberately pen what they knew to be false ! 
Thus the very existence of the New Testament 
among us, is one of the most convincing proofs 
of its truth,* 

* There are two works lately published upon the evi- 
dences of Christianity, which I would especially recom- 
mend to youth, as of immense value, viz. : " An Argu- 
ment for Christianity," by I. D. Williamson, and "Chris- 
tianity against Infidelity," by T. B. Thayer. 



CHAPTER XI. 

TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 

Mankind have been created with powers of 
mind, so diversified, that the variety of opinions 
upon subjects relating to religion, is not a matter 
of astonishment. It would be far more surprising, 
when we reflect upon the various degrees of knowl- 
edge possessed by mankind, were they all to en- 
tertain precisely the same views. This disparity 
of opinion existing, I deem it of some importance 
to make a few suggestions, in regard to the treats 
ment of those who differ from you in religious 
sentiment. 

In the first place, let it be remembered, that by 
the law of nature, others have the same unaliena- 
ble right to differ from you in opinion, that you 
have to dissent from them. And in this land ot 
religious freedom, the liberty of entertaining and 
defending such religious sentiments as they deem 
proper, without injury to their rights, privileges 
or immunities, is guarantied to all its citizens* 

107 



108 TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROK, 

It is both proper and necessary that you shoult! 
observe the letter and spirit of these natural and 
political laws — they should form the basis upoa 
which you found the principles of your emotions 
and actions towards your religious opposers. — 
Never, therefore, disparage, despise, ill-treat, or 
calumniate any of your fellow-beings, on account 
of their religious views, if you have reason to be- 
lieve that they are sincere. Such conduct vio- 
lates the principles of equity and uprightness, and 
those v/ho are guilty of it, have no just claims 
to manhood or Christianity. Hypocrisy of every 
form and feature, it is your duty to despise and 
discountenance, in a decided and proper manner — ■ 
but sincerity, however absurd its object, should 
ever be respected. 

Withhold not the name of Christian, from any 
sect who believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 
This concession is called for by truth, and by that 
charity and urbanity which denominations, believ- 
ing in the same God, the same Saviour, and the 
same Bible, should ever exhibit towards each 
other. And it is an incentive to this practice, 
and a pleasing reflection, that in every class of 
professing Christians, there are many — very many 
— who possess the true spirit of Christ. 

Avoid also attributing to any sect, doctrines or 
principles which they deny. They should be al- 
lowed to possess the right— which you claim for 
yourself— of stating their own sentiments, and the 
grounds upon which ihey rest them — and for 



TREATMENT OP RELIGIOUS ERROR. 109 

these sentiments, and none other, should they be 
held accountable. 

Never judge of the character of a whole sect, 
or of the influence of its doctrines, by the conduct 
of a few of its adherents. From the imperfec- 
tions of human nature, all are liable to err, al- 
tjiough possessing the purest principles. Even 
the chief of the disciples of Christ once denied 
his Master. Judge of every man's character, by 
his own personal conduct, and not by the conduct 
of another. And decide upon the influence of 
doctrines by their general effects upon their be- 
lievers. > 

It is a natural and laudable wish, to induce 
others to adopt our peculiar religious opinions, 
but to accomplish this end, certain precautions 
must be observed. You must avoid ridiculing 
those whose views you would change. This is a 
favorite measure with many public advocates of 
religion ; but they who resort to it, are not the 
most successful in winning adherents to their 
doctrines. Ridicule is a dangerous weapon — it 
is a two-edged sword, and can be wielded as skil- 
fully by the advocate of error, as by him who 
would build up truth. Ridicule seldom reaches 
the judgment to convince it of error; but it inva- 
riably wounds the feelings and upholds the preju- 
dices of those against whom it is levelled. It is 
one thing, to expose the fallacies of erroneous 
sentiments in a plain, candid and forcible manner, 
but another, and different thing, to ridicule those 
10 



110 TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 

who are so unfortunate as to entertain them. By 
pursuing the former course, you can hope to suc- 
ceed in changing the opinions of those you ad- 
dress ; but if you fail, you can not be successful 
in any case by adopting the latter. 

When speaking to religious opposers, or of 
them, never indulge in harsh epithets. Instead 
of saying that people are "liars," or "fools" or 
" destitute of common, sense," it is much more 
polite and Christian-like, to say simply, that 
they are, or may be mistaken. " No person was 
ever reclaimed from error, by being insulted oi 
reproached." Harsh epithets can not convince 
an individual of the falsity of his opinions ; but 
they can, and will arouse his anger, steel him 
against conviction, and confirm him in his errors. 

In all religious discussions, whether public or 
private, never display ill-temper. This would be 
improper — it would exhibit a lack of courtesy and 
of a Christian spirit — and it would give an op- 
poser a decided advantage over you. To give 
reason and judgment that full sway which is so 
requisite in controversy, the passions should be 
kept in entire subjection. 

In a mixed company, of whom any are stran- 
gers to you, be cautious of what you say in regard 
to sentiments which you deem to be erroneous. 
These sentiments may be believed by some ia 
your presence ; and a harsh word or an ungen- 
erous epithet, may not only prejudice them against 
yourself, but also against the sect to which you 



TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. Ill 

belong and the doctrine you profess — and this 
too, to ail extent which it would be difficult to 
overcome, even by the power of truth. 

In all your conversation and intercourse with 
those of different religious sentiments — in all your 
efforts to convince them of their errors — let your 
manner be characterized by gentleness, kindness 
and the most friendly emotions. Too much care 
and attention can not be bestowed on this subject. 
Indicate by your spirit and conduct, that you re- 
spect and love them, whatever you may think of 
their errors — let them perceive that you are inter- 
ested in their welfare, and that you only desire 
to change their views, that you may enhance their 
happiness. I care not how strong are the argu- 
ments you call to your aid, if they are but cloth- 
ed in the language of kindness and respect, — 
Kindness has an influence in convincing opposers, 
ten thousand times more powerful than sarcasm, 
ridicule or contempt. There was much true phi- 
losophy in the remark of the little girl. She was 
asked — " how is it that every body loves you ?" 
" I don't know," she replied, " except it is because 
I love every body." This was the real secret. 
An emotion of kindness evinced towards those 
whom you would affect, will invariably awaken a 
similar feeling in their bosoms towards you. The 
icy bulwarks of prejudice can be melted down 
by the warm rays of love and friendship — and 
reasonable, well-applied arguments, can then do 
their work effectually in eradicating error. In 



113 TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 

fine, in this respect, as in all others, follow impli- 
citly the Saviour's golden rule — " Do unto others, 
as ye would that others should do unto you." 

It may be proper to add here, a few hints in re- 
gard to the time and place of manifesting your 
peculiar religious views. There are some peo- 
ple who are in the constant habit of obtruding 
their sentiments upon the notice of others. At 
home or abroad — in the stage-coach, the steam- 
boat, the bar-room or the street — they are ever 
proclaiming and insisting upon the peculiarities 
of their doctrines, for the purpose of raising a 
flame of controversy. I do not say this of any 
one sect — for, there are, undoubtedly, those in all 
denominations, who are amenable to this charge. 
The practice is exceedingly unpleasant, as well 
as ungentlemanly. Circumstances and occasions 
may frequently occur, wherein it is more proper 
to remain silent, than to urge your religious te- 
nets. You can all conceive of such cases. I am 
far from desiring you to cover up, or in any way 
conceal your sentiments, when it is proper to ex- 
press them. I would rather urge you firmly and 
fearlessly to declare and maintain your opinions, 
whenever such a course is distinctly called for 
But I would have you exercise prudence as to the 
time, place and circumstances. Your good sense 
and the rules of propriety, will dictate when it 
would be proper or improper — polite or rude — ^to 
express your religious views, and enter into a con- 
troversy to maintain them. It may be proper to 



TREATMENT OP RELIGIOUS ERROR. 113 

do SO in all those public places above enumerated, 
under very peculiar circumstances — but such in- 
stances are exceedingly rare. I repeat, let pru- 
dence and judgment be your guides in relation 
to this subject, and you will hardly err, 
9* 



A VOICE TO YOUNG MEN. 



CHAPTER I. 

INTRODUCTION. 

The station in society occupied by young mea, 
is one of commanding importance and deep re- 
sponsibility. In the course of nature and by the 
usages of mankind, to those who are now young 
men, must soon be committed in trust, under 
Providence, all the important interests of commu- 
nity. If the institutions of our country — its civil 
and religious freedom — the numerous advantages 
and facilities which it affords for the improvement 
of mankind in useful knowledge — are to be pre- 
served and perpetuated, it must be mainly through 
their exertions. Upon their arm the nation de- 
pends to repel the foreign foe, and to quell the 
spirit of domestic discord. They will soon com- 
pose our legislative and other deliberative coun- 
cils. It will speedily devolve upon them to enact 
laws and to execute them. In fine, ere long, they 
must give tone to our national voice and national 
character. When the infamous Cataline con- 
spired to wrest from Rome her liberties, his first 

117 



518 INTRODUCTION. 

effort was to corrupt the young men ; well know- 
ing that when they became ripe for misrule, the 
work of desecrating the altar of Liberty, could 
easily be accomplished. And true it is, that as 
the young men of a nation are enlightened and 
virtuous, or corrupt and ignorant, so are the pros- 
pects of its future prosperity, or of its speedy 
overthrow and ruin. How necessary that young 
men should become aware of the important re- 
sponsibilities resting upon them, and of the ne- 
cessity of qualifying themselves to discharge 
them faithfully ? 

The condition of young men, in regard to their 
future character, is much more perilous than that 
of the other sex. Being brought by their occu- 
pations, in frequent contact with the unprincipled 
and profligate, they are subject to influences ex- 
tremely deleterious, and to temptations of a se- 
ducing and dangerous character. Absorbed in 
the pursuits for pleasure, or in the strife for wealth 
or fame, they are liable to be led into a careless- 
ness as to the means employed to secure their 
ends. Blindfolded by passion, interest, or a thirst 
tfor enjoyment, thousands rush headlong into those 
vicious practices that plunge their votaries into 
the deep vortex of wretchedness. And yet there 
is a safe path, open for all to pursue, which will 
most certainly lead to respectability, enjoyment 
and peace — a path which none ever yet followed, 
without escaping many of the evils of life, and 
experiencing a prosperity, and an amount of hap- 



SELECTION OF ASSOCIArES. 119 

piness which are wanting to all who pursue a 
contrary course. 

Young men, will you listen, while I endeavor 
to point out that path, and lay before you some of 
the inducements which call upon you to walk 
therein ? While I may not have time or space to 
go over the whole ground pertaming to your duty 
and interests, still I will engage to bring forward 
motives sufficiently powerful to induce every wise 
and discreet young man, to be cautious and watch- 
ful, as to the measures he adopts to secure pros- 
perity and enjoyment. Your attention is first so- 
licited to — 

THE SELECTION OF COMPANIONS. 

Man is by nature a social being. He delights 
to mingle with his race, and to interchange senti- 
ments and offices of friendship and kindness. — 
This disposition is peculiarly evinced by the 
young. Every young man selects some one or 
more of those who are of his rank and condition, 
to become his companions or associates. At every 
opportunity, he seeks their company, to find that 
enjoyment which he supposes he would fail to 
obtain by mingling with others. 

The influence exercised by the companions 
with whom you intimately associate, will be pow- 
erful and enduring. " Show me your company, 
and I will show you your character," is an old 
adage and true. The character of the associates 
With whom you mingle, will evince to a good de- 



120 SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 

gree, your inclinations, habits and principles.— 
Young men often are not aware, how sensibly 
their reputation is influenced by their compan* 
ions. Do you associate with the vicious, the 
profligate, the intemperate ? You must not be 
surprised if community attribute to you, propen- 
sities of a like character. What other conclu- 
sion can they draw ? You never prefer the com- 
pany of one man to that of another, without there 
is something more pleasing to you in his habits 
or principles. If you prefer the society of the 
ignorant and corrupt, to that of the enlightened 
and virtuous, there is no indication more certain, 
that your inclinations and tastes tend more pow- 
erfully to the characteristics of the former, than 
to those of the latter. However dissimilar, at 
first, may be your tastes, habits and principles, by 
mingling constantly in the company of certain 
individuals, you insensibly, yet unavoidably, lose 
your distinctive characteristics, and absorb theirs. 
As the stream always partakes of the qualities of 
the soil through which it runs, so the principles 
and habits of youth, become invariably tinctured 
by the character of the company in which they 
mingle. 

Great caution, therefore, is necessary in regard 
to your associates. You should not view this as 
a subject unworthy a thought or an exertion. — 
From among your acquaintance, you should «e- 
lect those with whom you would associate. And 
in this choice, let wisdom and discretion be your 



SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 121 

guides. Remember that you are creatures of 
imitation, and that the force of example is im- 
mense in forming your character. If you err in 
)^our selections — or if^ from choice, you associate 
with the profligate and debased — your condition 
is truly critical. Allowing that your character at 
the commencement of the intimacy, is much bet- 
ter than theirs, how long can it remain so ? It is 
next to impossible for you to raise them to your 
elevation in worth, were you disposed so to do. 
But the effect of your intercourse with them will 
be the reverse. You will be debased to their 
level — you will become saturated with their evil 
propensities — you will imitate their vicious prac- 
tices, be wedded to their corruptions, and finally 
will be led into the degradation and ruin which 
is the certain result of dissipation and crime. 

By associating with the vicious, you assume 
their character, are weighed by their worth, and 
esteemed by their value, in the eyes of commu- 
nity. You probably recollect the story of the 
dog Tray, and of the difficulties that befel him^ 
though innocent, from mingling in bad company. 
That fable is more frequently enacted in real 
life, than many would suppose. But young men 
do not often become rid of evil companions at as 
cheap a rate as poor Tray. At the expense of 
one flogging, he abandoned the gang forever. 
But although youth experience many evil con- 
sequences from their corrupt associates, yet it too 
frequently happens that they become so tinctured 
11 



122 SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 

with the love of low and vicious company, and 
their sinful practices, that again and again do 
they return smarting to their embrace. Strong 
and more strong grow the chains that bind them 
to the servitude of evil desires. Vices upon which 
they first looked with horror, gradually become 
less repulsive in their appearance, until they final- 
ly fall helpless and entirely into the slavery of 
their grasp. 

When once you embrace the company of the 
profligate, it will be difficult to dissever the con- 
nexion. They will exert every effort to induce 
you to continue in bondage with them. All ex- 
ertion on your part to reform, will be met by their 
combined ridicule and opposition. This, added 
to the strong chains of sinful habits, will render 
your return to virtue, a work of extreme diffi- 
culty. Thus by selecting vicious companions, 
there will be an hundred chances to one, against 
your reformation, your success in business, or your 
obtaining a respectable character — but the great 
probability is, that you will experience the fate 
predicted by the wise man — " the companion of 
fools shall be destroyed." You should believe it 
as an immutable truth, that by becoming the com- 
panion of the foolish and corrupt, you will event- 
ually lose your virtuous and upright principles, 
and with them will be destroyed health, reputa- 
tion, peace and happiness ! 

With these dangers visibly before them, young 
men of discretion and forethought, will perceive 



SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 123 

the necessity of selecting such associates only, as 
are virtuous and intelligent. In making your 
choice, you should not be influenced by outward 
show, or circumstance ; by pride, or fashion, or 
popularity— you should not be influenced so much 
by condition, as by the qualification. The real 
difference in the value of men, arises not from 
their circumstances, but in superiority of mind, 
purity of morals, and amiability of disposition.— 
All are worthy to become your associates who are 
' virtuous, amiable and intelligent. Such choose, 
i and none others. 

By mingling and associating with people of 
I these qualifications, you can not fail of being high- 
I ly benefited. Your natural propensity of imita- 
t tion— the influence of their conversation, habits, 
i manners and general demeanor— all become pow- 
erful causes operating upon your character and 
forming it to virtue and usefulness. In the pre- 
sence of such individuals, all incentives to vice 
will be wanting— virtue, religion and useful 
fi knowledge will appear in their true and lovely 
[forms— and trains of thought, action and habit, 
vwill be laid, that will lead to the most valuable 
rresults. An intimacy with people of good char- 
aacter, will elevate you in the estimation of so- 
iciety. Their virtues, to a considerable extent, 
rwill be considered yours. Confidence will be re- 
iposed in you— assistance rendered you— and the 
^good wishes of your fellow-beings will rest upon 
you. In fine, the benefits flowing from the choice 



124 SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 

of virtuous and enlightened associates, are all 
the reverse of the evils growing out of a selec- 
tion of those who are vicious. 

Be cautious to avoid deception In this matter. 
Gay, sociable, pleasant manners, are not alwayfs 
the indication of a pure heart, or of virtuous prin- 
ciples. Beneath an agreeable exterior, often lurk 
low, vulgar tastes, vicious propensities and profli- 
gate habits. Become the associate of no one 
with whose character you are not fully acquaint- 
ed. Form no intimacies, and allow none until 
you are perfectly satisfied upon this point. This 
is the only safe course you can adopt. 

Listen cheerfully to the advice of parents and 
guardians, in regard to your associates. By their 
superior experience and wisdom, they possess a 
clearer insight into human character than you can 
have obtained; and they are enabled to look be- 
yond the exterior appearance and accomplish- 
ments, and comprehend to a good degree, the 
real character of youth. Their counsel will be 
of essential benelit in aiding you to avoid the com- 
panionship of the vicious, and in selecting for 
your mtimacies, those whose example v/ill be of 
a virtuous and salutary character. 



CHAPTER IL 

TEMPTATIONS. 

• There are many vicious practices which, ar-^ 
payed in deceitful garbs, present themselves to 
young men, and frequently allure them to ruin. 
These temptations throng around the young m 
their most alluring forms, and invite them to par- 
ticipate in what they would cause you to believe 
are their enjoyments. But, young men, beware 
of them. — beware ! Although they appear before 
you in the garb of friendship — although they ad- 
dress you in sweet and fascinating tones — ^yet, in 
reality, they are your foes — ^your most bitter, fatal, 
deadly enemies ! They come to you under the 
specious pretence of improving your condition, 
of affording you enjoyment, of leading you into 
those fair and beautiful fields of pleasure, which 
are spread out invitingly before you. But, mark 
me ! all their pretences are false — all their promises 
are baseless and empty — and those gorgeous pic- 
tures which they so vividly paint to your glowing 
imagination, are as illusory and vain, as the fleet- 
11* 125 



126 TEMPTATIONS. 

ing visions of the midnight dream. In their 
every attempt to bestow enjoyment upon you, 
their highest success can be but a fitful excite- 
ment, which will inflict a real sting, a real poison, 
to your true happiness and peace. Were these 
temptations to present themselves in their true 
colors — were their real features visible — youth 
would reject them instantly. 

" Vice is a monster of so frightful mcin, 
As, to be hated, needs but to be seen." 

When vice is seen in its real nature and results, 
it is universally hated. It is only by the disguise 
which temptations assume, the tinsel trappings 
with which they conceal their hideous features, 
that they are enabled to deceive any. When 
young men see these temptations in the grosser 
aspects they assume to their confirmed victims, or 
discover their ulterior and certain results, they 
start back with disgust and horror. The youth 
who beholds the drunkard rolling in the mire, and 
hears his children cry for bread — or sees the prof- 
ligate bloated with disease, or the thief in prison, 
or the murderer upon the gallows — has no inclina- 
tion to be degraded to these conditions; and has 
no apprehension that such will ever be his cir- 
cumstances. And such, indeed, would never be 
his condition, were he but considerately to trace 
these disastrous results back to their real origin. 
But herein lies the danger of youth. It is diffi- 
cult to convince the young men, that harmleaa 
temptations, as he imagines them, which are so 



TEMPTATIONS. 127 

pleasing and enticing to his imagination, are the 
cause of so much pain, and wretchedness, and 
ruin. I beseech all candid young men to be con- 
sistent upon this subject. If you would know 
the real effect of giving way to early, and even 
trivial temptations, go and question the miserable 
victims of vice. Amid groans of anguish and 
unavailing regrets, they will trace to you the his- 
tory of their career, recorded in the annals of in- 
famy and shame. They will lead you back, step 
by step, the downward road they pursued. They 
will assure you, that the vices which eventually 
plunged them into ruin, presented themselves to 
their view, in youth, in the same pleasing colors, 
with the same harmless, inoffensive air, that they 
now appear to you. They believed these lying, 
deceitful appearances — they followed the gilded 
shadows — they plunged deep into the vortex of 
misnamed pleasure, and, ere long, they awoke 
involved in the severest anguish and despair ! 

Young men, will you not take vrarning by the 
living records of crime, which are every where 
scattered around ? Will you wisely scrutinize 
the temptations that beset you, and perceive their 
ruinous effects, and withstand theml Or will 
you give way to their fascinations, and recklessly 
rush onward in the foolhardy career, run by so 
many of your race, to awaken to the same degra- 
dation and anguish ? Be not so vain as to flatter 
yourself that you can indulge in sinful practices, 
and avoid those dreadful consequences which 



128 TEMPTATIONS. 

they have invariably entailed upon all who have 
been guilty of them. By what reasonable rule 
can you calculate that the laws of God, of nature, 
and of man, will change their mode of operation, 
and relent in their principles and exactions, in 
your behalf, when, to all others they are unde- 
viatingly and rigidly certain ? Indulge not, for a 
moment, these ignorant suppositions. Like causes 
must produce like effects. If by giving way to 
early temptations, others have rapidly become in- 
volved in wretchedness and ruin as you well 
know, the same fate unavoidably awaits you, if 
you imitate their example. 

I will briefly notice a few of the temptations 
by which young men are liable to be beset. 

Gambling is a temptation to which young men 
are exposed. This practice is unjust. It is un- 
just to take the property of another, without re- 
turning a proper equivalent therefor — it amounts 
to robbery ; this the gamester does. Gambling 
is unlawful. No just law can sanction or tolerate 
it. Laws were passed against it, as early as the 
reign of Q,ueen Anne, of England. And from 
that period to the present, in all well regulated 
communities, this practice has been forbidden by 
law. It is an unprofitable occupation. " It is 
certain," says Locke, "that gaming leaves no 
satisfaction behind it, to those who reflect when 
it is over ; and it no way profits either body or 
mind. As to their estates, if it strike so deep as 
to concern them, it is a trade, then, and not a 



' TEMPTATIONS. 129 

recreation, wherein few thrive ; and, at best, a 
thriving gamester has but a poor trade of it, who 
fills his pockets at the price of his reputation." 

Gambling is opposed to industry. Those who 
occasionally win sums of money by the turn of a 
card, or the throw of a die, soon acquire a dis- 
taste to the slower routine of acquiring property 
by industrious occupation. It begets in them a 
feverish desire to become wealthy in a moment, 
which spurns a more tardy yet surer process. 

Gambling is ruinous in all its tendencies and 
consequences. It is ruinous to character. The 
gamester is despised by the virtuous and enlight- 
ened, and suspected even by his associates. To 
be connected with him, or to associate with him, 
is a disgrace, and his society is shunned by all 
those who would be considered respectable. He 
is distrusted by all; for it is consistently deemed 
probable, that he who will filch from another his 
lawful property, at the gaming table, will not 
hesitate to take any other measures, however 
vicious or unlawful, to accomplish the same ob- 
ject. It is ruinous to morals. Its tendencies 
are to blunt the sensibilities as to those nice dis- 
tinctions of right and wrong, so necessary to pre- 
serve purity of morals. The gamester soon loses 
all regard for truth, honesty and candor, and is 
compelled to resort to falsehood and deception to 
obtain his object. This pernicious practice is 
the fruitful source of every conceivable vice and 
crime. Its natural fruit is theft, robbery, murder, 



130 TEMPTATIONS. 

suicide, forgery, perjury, intemperance, and every 
species of licentiousness and sin. Gambling is 
ruinous to property. How many are reduced by 
it from affluence to poverty — how many with the 
imbecility of idiots, throw away, in a single 
night, the earnings of years of industry ! The 
gamester can make no safe calculations as to 
property. He may possess a fortune this year, 
and the next, be clothed in the beggar's rags. 
The chances that the latter will be his condition, 
are vastly the most numerous. Where one game- 
ster dies in affluence, a thousand end their days 
in poverty. 

This vice is probably carried to a greater excess 
m France than in any other country ; and there 
its true effects are discovered. Its wretched vic- 
tmis are bound in slavery to its fascinations, un- 
til stripped of all their possessions ; and then, in 
the phrenzied moment of despair, terminate their 
existence by suicide, or commit some desperate 
act which sends them to the prison, and perhaps 
the guillotme. 

I warn young men to avoid this vice as they 
value life, character and contentment. Of all 
miserable mortals, the gambler is among the 
most wretched. His mind is constantly stretched 
upon the rack of uncertainty, and filled with the 
most fearfbil forebodings. Avoid a company ol 
gamblers as you would a den of thieves. Look 
upon the gaming-table as the door which leads to 
certain disgrace, poverty and wo ! 



TEMPTATIONS. 131 

Intemperance, is another temptation that assails 
young men. The evils of this vice, are now so 
frequently and ably elucidated, that a few remarks 
from me can only be necessary. The fatal effects 
of intemperance, are written out in pictures hor- 
ridly true and vivid, in every town and hamlet 
throughout our country. Broken fortunes, blast- 
ed anticipations, ruined health, disgrace, hunger, 
want, and suffering in every shape, are the pro- 
lific fruits of this wretched habit. 

Young men, have you any desire to be involved 
in these miserable circumstances ? — do you wish 
for degradation and want ? I anticipate your re- 
ply. You start back with horror, and cry " No I 
God forbid I" And how do you expect to avoid 
them ? By following in precisely the same path 
that involved others in their toils ? — by imitating 
that sot who in youth drank whenever occasion 
offered? Your good sense will dictate the danger 
of such a course. There is one infallible rule — 
and but one— by following which, every young 
man may be certain of avoiding intemperance, 
and all the long catalogue of evils that invariably 
follow in its train — and that is, to abstain entirely 
from all drinks, as a beverage, that possess power 
to intoxicate, in all places, and under every cir- 
cumstance. This is your only safe-guard! 
Observe this rule faithfully, and you are safe — 
you are entirely beyond the reach of the monster 
intemperance, and its dreadful consequences. 
But break over this rule, however slightly, and 



132 TEMPTATIONS. 

you are exposed to great danger. If you become 
what is called " the temperate drinker" — if you 
indulge occasionally in the intoxicating draught — 
you have fairly set out on the high road to intem- 
perance ; you have overstepped the only line of 
perfect safety, and have no assurance, no guar- 
anty, that you Vv'ill not become a miserable, de- 
graded sot ! " But cannot I govern and restrain 
myself within the bounds of moderation ?" says 
the temperate drinker. This is precisely the 
question asked by every drunkard, while yet 
drinking but temperately ; and the answer can be 
read in the bloated visage, broken conslitutionj 
and ruined character — in the poverty, and want, 
and rags of their wretched families ! Although 
all temperate drinkers do not become habitual 
drunkards, yet is quite certain that no man can 
become intemperate, without first being a mod- 
erate drinker. Intem.perance is not the work of 
a moment. Every drunkard in the land, was 
first a temperate drinker; and he then felt as cer-' 
tain that he would never become the beastly slave 
of intoxication, as the most confident youth who 
reads these lines. But of what avail was his 
confidence ? While he yet felt strong in his own 
power of restraint and resistance, habit was in- 
sidiously winding its rriassive chains around him, 
binding all his noble, and manly, and god-like 
powers in servitude, and, ere long, he sunk the 
willing slave of one of the most cruel task-mas- 
ters thai ever scourged the human race ! Young 



TEMPT ATIONS. 133 

man, listen to me ! and if to any thmg m these 
chapters you give heed, I pray you follow the ad- 
vice I now enjoin upon you. Adopt it as one of 
the inflexible principles of your conduct, to avoid 
partaking the inebriating draught,* under any 
circumstances whatever ! Then you are perfecU 
ly secure. But, I repeat, take any other course, 
and you at once become liable to all the horrors 
of intemperance. In avoidmg an admitted evil 
of immense magnitude, why not take the safe 
and certam path, rather than the one that is un- 
safe and uncertain 7 

Avoid, also, as far as possible, the haunts of 
intemperance, and the company of the habitual 
drinkers of intoxicating liquor, lest you become 
ensnared by their evil examples. You should 
give no countenance to the custom of partaking 
of intoxicating drinks, even moderately j but 
should bring both your example and influence to 
bear against a practice so fraught with evil. 

Dishonesty is another temptation that besets 
the pathway of young men. The desire for 
wealth becomes, in many, so absorbing and un- 
controlled, that they violate all justice, honesty 
and virtue, to gratify it. In your business trans 
actions, many temptations will beset you to de- 
fraud your neighbor of that which is honestly his. 
These temptations you must summon all your 

* Except where administered as a medicine in case of 
sickness. 



134 TEMPTATIONS. 

energies to withstand. Adopt it as your motto 
through life, to " render unto all their just dues." 
There never was a maxim more true, than that 
'•'honesty is the best policy." It should be en- 
graven deeply upon the heart of every young 
man. Whenever temptations to be fraudulent 
arise, let them be repelled by the truth of this say- 
ing. Let it accompany and guide you, and it 
will keep you in the path of rectitude, respecta- 
bility and peace. In being dishonest, you may, 
in some cases, obtain more property than you 
otherwise would. But remember that every 
farthing you secure in this dishonorable manner, 
instead of making you more wealthy, detracts just 
so much from your real riches — from your avail- 
able means to make yourself hap^y. Dishonesty, 
however much it may increase your wealth, will 
make you poorer in character, poorer in peace, 
and in every real essential to human enjoyment. 
True happiness consists in a peaceful and con- 
tented mind j and he who possesses these requi- 
sites to the highest degree, is, indeed, the wealth- 
iest man ! Can ill gotten riches bestow this en- 
joyment? As well may you take coals of fire 
in your bosom, and not be burned. Be cautious 
to have all your dealings characterized by strict 
honesty and integrity, and your satisfaction and 
"peace shall be as a river." 

Another temptation is described in the fifth 
chapter of Proverbs. Let every young man read 
that chapter. Its declarations are words of truth 



TEMPTATIONS. 135 

and soberness. Let them be believed and ad- 
hered to, and never permitted to escape from your 
memory. So shall you be saved from deep deg- 
radation and wo. 

These are a few of the many temptations which 
beset young men. Guard against them as dead- 
ly foes to your happiness. Remember that vices 
assault the young in gangs. Admit one vice, and 
it will exert all its influence to make way for an- 
other, and another — increasing in strength as they 
multiply in numbers, until you fall a prey to every 
species of iniquity : 

"The first crime pass'd, compels us into more, 
And guilt grows fate, tliat was but choice before." 

*'With many persons," says D'Argonne, "the 
early age of life is passed in sowing in their minds 
the vices that are most suitable to their inclina- 
tions ; and the middle age goes on in nourishing 
and maturing these vices ; and the last age con- 
cludes in gathering in pain and anguish, the bit- 
ter fruit of these wretched seeds." The only 
safe method to prevent reaping this wretched crop 
in old age, is to avoid sowing the seed in youth. 
Let the seed you now plant in the moral soil, be 
temperance, honesty and virtue, and in advanced 
years, they will afford you a harvest of respecta- 
bility and ease. 



i 



CHAPTER ni. 



THE HABITS. 



Habit is the cherishing of certain emotions and 
the practicing of certain actions, until they become 
a second nature. It has justly been said that 
"man is a bundle of habits." From early infan- 
cy to mature manhood, he is forming habits which 
will more or less influence his enjoyments through 
life. Youth, in this respect, is a most important 
period. When the young man has arrived at 
years of reflection, and has become capable of 
meditating seriously on his future plans, then is 
the favorable time, when the mind is still tender 
and pliable, to correct improper habits formed in 
childhood, and to lay the foundation for those 
useful ones, that will tend greatly to his future 
prosperity. 

That it is all-important for young men to loolr 
well to the habits they are now forming, is a po- 
sition so evident, that little exertion is necessary 
to establish it. What enabled Franklin, the poor 
printer-boy, to arrive to an eminence which none 
in modern ages have surpassed? It was tlie 

136 



THE HABITS. 137 

acquisition in his youth, of habits of industry, 
economy, perseverance, and patient research. 
Why does one man ascend from obscurity and 
indigence to fame and wealth, despite all obstruc- 
tions, while another commences life surrounded 
by every advantage that riches and influential 
friends can bestow, and yet sinks into insignifi- 
cance and poverty ! This diversity is mainly 
caused by the diflference in the formation of their 
habits. The one depended upon his own pow- 
ers and exertions, and laid the foundation of his 
prosperity, by acquiring industrious, persevering, 
and economical habits — the other, relying upon 
his expected wealth or influential friends, failed 
to qualify himself for any useful avocation, and 
loaded himself with habits of indolence, careless- 
ness, and prodigality. 

Young men can cause their habits to become 
of whatever character they resolve. Firmly de- 
termine to be frugal, industrious, and temperate, 
and you easily become so. A Cesar, a Napoleon, 
a Washington, a Cicero, a Canning, a Brougham, 
a Wirt, could never have arrived at their celeb- 
rity, had they not framed the outlines of their 
career in youth, and formed habits which ena- 
bled them to fill up these outlines with so much 
success. Youthful habits, as was remarked in 
the preceding chapter, are the seed of a crop 
which must be reaped in after life. If your seed 
be of the true kind— if you obtain habits of ac- 
tivity, perseverance, and economy — your crop 
12* 



138 THE HABITS. 

will be bountiful and gratifying. But if your 
habits be the reverse, your harvest will be of a 
corresponding character. 

"Habits are easily formed — especially such as 
are bad ; and what to-day seems to be a small 
affair, will soon become fixed, and hold you with 
the strength of a cable. That same cable, you 
will recollect, is formed by spinning and twisting 
one thread at a time ; but when once completed, 
, the proudest ship turns her head towards it, and 
acknowledges her subjection to its power. Habits 
of some kind will be formed by every youth. He 
will have a particular course, in whicb his time, 
his employments, his thoughts and feelings will 
run. Good or bad, these habits soon become a 
part of himself, and a kind of social nature. Who 
does not know, that the old man who has occupi- 
ed a particular corner of tbe old fire-place, in the 
old house, for sixty years, may be rendered 
wretched by a change? Who has not read of 
the release of the aged prisoner of the Bastile, 
who entreated that he might again return to his 
gloomy dungeon, because his habits there formed 
were so strong that his nature threatened to sink 
under the attempt to break them up? You will 
probably find no man of forty, who has not habits 
which he laments, which mar his usefulness, but 
which are so inwoven with his very being, that 
he cannot break through them. At least he has 
not the courage to try."* 

* Student's Manual. 



THE HABITS. 139 

In order to be useful to yourself and your fel- 
!ow-beino:s, it is necessary that you enter upon 
some profession or occupation. Even the most 
wealthy, should not be without a definite calling. 
Riches the most immense, often " take wings and ' 
fly away" — and when he who is thus dispossess- 
ed of them, is without an occupation, his condi- 
tion in such circumstances, is truly deplorable. 
The occupation or profession, should be chosen 
in accordance with the abilities, taste, and cir- 
cumstances of each individual — remembering 
that all honest and useful employments are alike 
honorable. It is, however, far better to be a good 
mechanic or agriculturist, than a poor profession- 
al man — it is more desirable to be in the respec- 
table class of the former, than in the lowest grades 
of the latter. 

The habits necessary to insure success and 
respectability, are many. I will enumerate a few 
of the most prominent. 

Industry is one of the most necessary and use- 
ful of the habits. Says St. Paul—" This we 
commanded you, that if any would not work, nei- 
ther should he eat." It is the first law of our 
nature, that every true comfort we enjoy, must 
be purchased by exertion. And it is a law equal- 
ly well established, that all well directed indus- 
try, shall receive an ample remuneration in health 
and vigor. Of all habits that fetter human pow- 
ers, indolence is the most unmanly and debasing. 
Every thing around you — the earth, air and wa* 



140 THE HABITS. 

ter — the insect, fowl and beast — all exhibit un- 
tiring industry, and cry out " shame !" against the 
human being who will suffer his capabilities to 
stagnate in the sluggish pool of indolence. Of 
what value is an indolent man to himself or the 
world ? He is good for nothing, and worse than 
useless — is a burden to 1 imself and a pest to so- 
ciety, and those connected with him. He can not 
be said to exist — he but vegetates, as the weed of 
the garden ; and as the w^eed, he is disrespected 
through life, and at death is forgotten ! 

" Go to the ant, thou sluggard : consider her 
ways and be wise." This little insect furnishes 
a useful lesson to every man of indolence. With 
a prudeiit foresight, she industriously "provideth 
her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food 
in th J harvest." And when the snows and frosts 
of Winter arrive, they find her fully provided with 
comf>»ris to sustain her until the return of Spring. 
But the indolent man has even less wisdom and 
foresight than the ant. With him the future is 
all unprovided for ; and in an unexpected hour, 
want, as an armed man, seizes him in its bony 
embrace ! As a punishment, God has entailed 
sickness, imbecility, unhappmess, and premature 
death, on the indolent. For what purpose were 
our bodies supplied with joints, sinews, and 
muscles, but to be exerted in industrious occupa- 
tion? 

The benefits arising from habits of industry, 
ore numerous. Industry is the most fruitful 



THE HABITS. J.-ll 



source of that highest of bodily enjoyments, 
health. A due exercise of the bodily and mental 
functions, are prolific sources of earthly happiness. 
Activity opens streams of enjoyment, that would 
otherwise be clogged by indolence, and generate 
discontent and pain. Let the truth settle deep 
into every mind, that health can not long be en- 
joyed without industry. It would minister far 
more to the enjoyment of the man of wealth, to 
go out with the sturdy woodsman, and make the 
forest resound with the blows of his axe, or to 
engage in some other stirring avocation, than re- 
cline into the Delilahan lap of luxury, to be shorn 
of his strength and energy, and to resort to nos- 
trums to support a constitution filled by indolence 
with the prolific seeds of disease ! It is a good 
proverb, that " we had better wear out than rnst 
out." For this wearing out, as it is termed, is 
indeed the prolonging of life and health; but 
rusting out is a living death. To secure health, 
individuals of sedentary occupation, should labor 
or exercise more or less, every day, in the open 
air.* The correctness of this rule is constantly- 
becoming more and more apparent. " Pray, of 
what did your brother die ?" said tho Marquis of 
Spinola to Sir Horace Vere. " He died. Sir," 
replied he, " of having nothing to doP " Alas, 
Sir," said Spinola, " that is enough to kill any 
general of us all." The Turks have a proverb, 

* See Combe on the Constitution of man— chap ii: 

sec. 7. 



142 THE HABITS. 

that " a busy man is troubled with but one devil ; 
but the idle man, with a thousand." 

Industry is one of the most certain means of 
obtaining wealth. Although all industrious men 
do not become wealthy, yet comparatively few 
ever arose from indigence to wealth, without this 
qualification. And in this land of equality, it is 
the only safe basis upon which to rest your an- 
ticipations of acquiring property. Making some 
"lucky hit," by which a fortune is acquired at 
once, is a chance that occurs but to a small num- 
ber; and if you wait in indolence for such an 
opportunity, you will undoubtedly pass through 
life in poverty. The greater proportion of the 
wealthy in this country, acquired their property 
by assiduous industry. And I repeat, that this 
ife the only proper resource upon which to de- 
pend to acquire riches. Industry ranks among 
the best recommendations a young man can pos- 
sess. He who has this qualification, can not 
want for employment, assistance, or friends. 
The industrious youth, whose other habits are 
good, will always be respected, patronized and 
encouraged. But indolence, even though con- 
nected with many good habits, invariably inspires 
disrespect and disgust. 

Let every young man, then, firmly resolve to 
establish a habit of industry. With it, he can 
rationally hope to be almost every thing great 
and good — to obtain every thing proper, and to 
enjoy every thing consistent with virtue and 



THE HABITS. 143 

propriety. But. without it, even though he may 
inherit wealth, he can rationally anticipate notii- 
ing but ill health, abasement and wretchedness. 

Perseverance^ is another habit which young 
men should acquire. — This habit must be long 
cultivated, before it can be fully obtained. Pa- 
rents should be aware that a training for it, can 
profitably be commenced even in childhood. In 
his infantile undertakings, the child can be in- 
fluenced to persevere until his designs are accom- 
plished. And in all the doings of youth, pains 
should be taken to induce them to avoid fickle- 
ness of purpose, and to infuse into their minds, 
a spirit of unwearied perseverance. This will 
soon grow into a habit, the beneficial influences 
of which will be realized through life. 

A habit of perseverance well adhered to, will 
accomplish the most surprising results. Through 
its influence. Napoleon was enabled to scale 
" the cloud-clapped Alps" — Franklin to become 
one of the eminent philosophers of the world — 
and Clinton to accomplish one of the most splen- 
did projects of modern ages. The beautiful 
islands of the Pacific are but immense coral 
reefs, raised from unknown depths, by the per- 
severance of minute insects, who carry but one 
grain of sand at a time. It is related of the cel- 
ebrated conqueror, Timour the Tartar, that upon 
an occasion of adverse fortune, he was compelled 
to secrete himself from hi& pursuers in a ruined 
building. While in this condition, as lie was 



144 THE HABITS. 

ruminating upon his ill-fortune, he espied an 
ant, sedulously engaged in efforts to carry a ker- 
nel of grain, larger than itself, up a high wall. 
For a long time its efforts were unavailing. 
Still at every defeat would it renew its exertions 
with unabated energy and perseverance. Sixty- 
nine times did it essay to perform this feat, and 
as often failed. But the seventieth time, the in- 
dustrious insect succeeded in gaining the top of 
the wall with its prize. " The sight," said the 
conqueror, " gave me courage at the moment, 
and I have never forgotten the lesson it con- 
veyed." 

The example of the ant is worthy of all imita- 
tion. Let your plans be deliberately and ma- 
turely formed — see that they are honest and hon- 
orable — and then let " Perseverance " be your 
watchword, and you will seldom fail of success. 
" I can't," never accomplished any thing. '' Col. 
Miller," said Gen. Ripley, at the battle of Niag- 
ara, " can you carry that battery ?" " Gen. Rip- 
ley, I will try !" was the laconic reply. At the 
head of his gallant regiment, he tried, and by 
uniting bravery with perseverance, succeeded in 
repulsing the foe and carrying the battery. " I 
will try," has accomplished wonders in the world. 
When the habit of perseverance stands by you, 
as a handmaid, to lend her assistance, you can 
safely calculate upon a favorable result in all 
your reasonable operations ; but without this de- 
sirable qualification, you may commence a thou- 



THE HABITS. 145 

sand projects, and fail in all. When a propef 
business is fairly undertaken^ or a resolution 
formed, persevere in its pursuit — bend all the 
energies of your mind to its service, and let no 
common inducement swerve you into another 
track. " A young man who had wasted his pat- 
rimony by profligacy, whilst standing, one day, 
on the brow of a precipice from which he had 
determined to throw himself, formed the sudden 
resolution to regain what he had lost. The pur- 
pose thus formed, was kept and persevered in ; 
and though he began by shovelling a load of 
coal into a cellar, for which he only received 
twelve and a half cents, yet he proceeded from 
one step to another, till he more than recovered 
his lost possessions, and died worth sixty thousand 
pounds sterling." 

A well directed perseverance in a laudable de- 
termination, will insure success against many 
disadvantages. It will overcome obscurity of 
birth, the want of fortune, and of wealthy and 
influential friends. A case in point, occurred 
under the observation of the writer. I remem- 
ber well that antiquated school-house, in a small 
hamlet, at the north-western part of the State of 
New- York. The teacher procured a silver med- 
al, and suspended it at his desk in sight of the 
school, with the annunciation that at the end of 
the term, it should be the prize of the scholar 
who should excel. A spirit of eager rivalry was 
awakened in the school — all strived assiduously 
13 



146 THE HABITS. 

to gain the glittering reward. But the eye of 
memory rests particularly upon two lads of near- 
ly an equal age, who bore the most prominent 
part in this intellectual strife. The dispari- 
ty in their circumstances was striking. The 
one, the son of a man of wealth and high stand- 
ing in that community, was promised additional 
rewards by his relatives, did he secure the prize. 
The father of the other was poor — all he possess- 
ed was honesty and industry — and to the son, no 
other inducement could be held out, but the prize 
itself and the honor of obtaining it. And this 
was sufficient to fire his ambition. The son of 
poverty formed a fixed determination that the 
medal should be his. He applied himself to 
.study with the most indomitable perseverance — 
nothing could divert his attention, or thwart his 
purpose. His efforts resulted in complete suc- 
cess — his industry and perseverance met their 
pertain reward. He was crowned victor; and 
with the blushes of boyhood, received the envied 
prize ! In this instance, perseverance accom- 
plished what wealth could not. 

Let us trace the history of these lads a little 
farther. After living side by side, engaged in the 
same sports and amusements, a few years after 
the incident above related, they parted. The 
son of the man of wealth, entered higher semi- 
naries, to obtain the advantages of a more ex- 
tended education ; while the other was put to a 
mechanical occupation. It was then that the 



THE HABITS. 147 

latter first felt with force, the disparity in the gifts 
of fortune — first sensibly realized the evils of 
poverty. While he was engaged in laborious 
business, as a means of subsistence, his early 
companion was expanding his mind with the 
lights of literature and science, with every pros- 
pect of occupying a station in life, as superior to 
the other as were his advantages. But the poor 
lad, notwithstanding his adverse circumstan- 
ces, was not disposed to remain in obscurity. 
He firmly resolved to make every exertion in his 
power, to arise above the disadvantages of birth 
and indigence. He summoned Industry and 
Perseverance to be his hand-maids, in the career 
he had marked out and determined to pursue. 
Every etTort was put forth — every means of im- 
provement within his reach, was diligently used — 
and every possible advantage secured. Nor were 
his efforts unavailing, or his labors fruitless. 
Success, beyond his most sanguine anticipations, 
attended him. And now, at the penning of these 
lines, he occupies a station in one of the most en- 
lightened communities of the world, which, while 
requiring far more talent, is as elevated, as re-~ 
spectable and honorable, as that filled by the 
wealthy companion of his childhood ! These 
circumstances are not narrated to cast any dis- 
paragement upon the latter. His course thus far 
in life, has been prosperous and honorable. He 
occupies a station which none can obtain, but 
those well skilled in his profession. But they 



148 THE HABITS. 

are adverted to, solely to convince young men, 
that enlightened perseverance can overcome al- 
most every obstacle in an honorable career. 

Faithfulness is a habit which the young should 
cultivate. What more desirable qualification 
can a young man possess, than faithfulness to 
his employers, in the discharge of all busmess 
and interests entrusted to his disposal. Once 
let a young man obtain the name of being faith- 
ful in all the duties and obligations resting upon 
him, and he secures the confidence of the whole 
community. But once let it be known that he is 
faithless^ and all trust in him is destroyed, and 
his character receives a fatal blow. 

Have you business to transact ? Do it faith- 
fully, if your own ; and especially so, if it is 
confided to you by others. Have you work to 
perform ? Let it be done faithfully — as near 
what you contracted to do, and as near what it 
appears to be, as possible. Avoid all deception 
in regard to these things. A mechanic or a 
merchant very much mistakes his interest, who 
slights his work, or palms ofi" his goods for what 
they really are not. Such men may gain a few 
dollars in the outset, by pursuing this deceptive 
course j but a just and speedy retribution awaits 
them. Their deceptions are soon discovered — 
tjieir dishonesty is laid bare — and an indignant 
community will withhold all farther patronage 
and encouragement. 

"A Mahratta Prince, in passing through a 



THE BABITS. 149 

certain apartment, one day, discovered one of his 
servants asleep, with his master's slippers clasp- 
ed so tightly to his breast, that he was unable to 
disengage them. Struck with the fact, and con- 
cludiag at once that a person who was so jeal- 
ously careful of a trifle, could not fail to be faith- 
ful when entrusted with a thing of importance, 
he appointed him a member of his body guard. 
The result proved that the prince was not mis- 
taken. Rising in ofl&ce, step by step, the young 
man soon became the most distinguished milita- 
ry commander in Mahratta; and his fame ulti- 
mately spread throughout India." Thus faith- 
fulness will ever gain confidence, and is one 
of the most essential ingredients in securing 
respect and prosperity. Be faithful, then — faith- 
ful in all you do, even in the most trivial things — 
and a certain reward awaits you. 

Punctuality is another habit which should 
not be overlooked. This habit can easily be 
formed, but more easily neglected. Begin while 
young, to be punctual in your occupation and 
in all your business transactions, and it will 
soon become a habit that will sit easily upon 
you, and save you from many perplexing diffi- 
culties. A man who is punctual in fulfilling all 
his engagements, and in discharging all his re- 
sponsibilities, has many facilities and advanta- 
ges offered him by the business community, that 
are denied those who are known to be slack and 
neglectful. The credit of the former stands 
13* 



150 THE HABITS, 

far higher than that of the latter, although his 
means may not be as ample. " Procrastination 
is the thief of time," and the stumbling-block 
to prosperity. "If I had been there but a mo- 
ment sooner ." But you might have been 

there, had the spirit of punctuality stirred with- 
in you. " Do at once, what at once ought to be 
done. Let not the season of action be spent in 
hesitancy. Do not let to-mojTow be perpetually 
the time when every thing is to be done." " A 
time for every thing, and every thing in its time — 
a place for every thing, and every thing in its 
place." These are maxims that should be en- 
graven upon the tablet of every young man's 
memory. There is no truth more certain, than 
that if you do not drive your business, your 
business will drive you. He who drives his 
business has every thing done promptly and cor- 
rectly, and still has leisure at his disposal ; 
while the individual who is driven by his busi- 
ness, is constantly hurried and perplexed — his 
affairs are in confusion, and often suffer for want 
of attention — for what is done in a hurry, is 
generally ill done. Study, then, to be punctu- 
al, prompt, and methodi^ial in all your affairs. 
Punctuality is the " fly-wheel" which gives stead- 
iness and precision to all the machinery of busi- 
ness. 

Early Rising is a habit that should be sedu- 
lously cultivated. This habit is conducive to 
health, to longevity, and to prosperity. When 



THE HABITS. , 151 

your avocations commence with the opening- 
light of morning, it gives every thing a for- 
ward impulse that can be felt throughout the 
day. But let the sun commence his daily work 
long before you leave the bed, and all things 
drag as though a spell rested upon them. "A 
sluggard takes an hundred steps, because he 
would not take one in due time." Sum up the 
hours that are, by many people, needlessly spent 
in bed, and they will amount to years in a long 
life. Napoleon, in the midst of his triumphs, 
allowed himself but four hours sleep in the 
twenty-four. This untiring application to busi- 
ness, was undoubtedly one secret of his extraor- 
dinary success. There is wisdom in the prov- 
erb of Solomon — "Yet a little sleep, a little 
slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep ; 
so shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, 
and thy want as an armed man." Experience 
testifies to the truth of this declaration, that in- 
dolence is the cause of poverty and want. Let 
the young take heed of this danger and avoid it. 
Let the words of the wise man be called vividly 
to mind on retiring to rest, and with due reflection, 
they will arouse you with the dawning light of 
morning. 

Economy is not, by far, the least in importance 
among the habits to be commended to youth. 
It needs no argument to show that a spend- 
thrift must, ere long, necessarily be involved in 
poverty, The young man who expends in use- 



152 THE IIAHITS. 

less amusements or sinful follies, all he earns, 
of course can lay up nolhinjr to commence busi- 
ness for himself, or to provide for future misfor- 
tunes or wants. And such an one can hardly 
hope for assistance in pecuniary matters. The 
confidence of community is wanting ; and when 
that is f^one, all is gone. And he who spends 
irnore than his income, will soon become in- 
volved in toils which it will be difficult to es- 
cape. 

The necessity of economy is acknowledged 
by all ; but with too many, especially the young, 
it is one thing to make this acknowledgment, 
but another and quite different thing, to prac- 
tice in accordance with it. It is not very diffi- 
cult to take care of whatever large sums we 
raay possess, but it is a work of greater care 
to economize the smaller sums. Hence the 
propriety of the maxim — " take care of the shil- 
lings, and the pounds will lake care of them- 
selves." A man that is truly economical, will 
become rich in saving what another deems too 
little to deserve care. " A penny saved, is two 
pence earned," was one of the trite sayings of 
Dr. Franklin ; and in practicing it, he became 
wealthy. 

Every young man should study economy, in all 
his expenditures. A trifling sum squandered 
every day, soon amounts to an aggregate of im- 
portance. How many are there in the middle 
and advanced stages of life, who, could they have 



THE HABITS, 153 

What they heedlessly and uselessly spent in 
youth, would be saved from ruin and want. The 
young- should remember that every farthmg 
which they expend unnecessarily, will cause them 
to be so much poorer through life. I would not 
inculcate a parsimonious, miserly disposition. I 
would have the young generous and liberal in all 
their conduct. But there is a vast distinction be- 
tween the liberal man and the spendthrift. True 
economy is not op|!osed to expenditures for all 
that is necessary fully to supply your own wants, 
and to satisfy the claims of charity, benevolence, 
generosity, justice, and the public welfare. But 
farther than this it forbids your proceeding. It 
calls upon you to husband your means careful- 
ly, and to avoid all sinful, frivolous, and use- 
less expenses. If young men desire to obtain 
a competency, this is the only safe method to 
secure it. 

Young men should also be economical of time. 
"Time is money," says Dr. Franklin. An hour 
or a day needlessly idled away, is so much money 
taken from your pocket. Let all your time be 
occupied usefully. Your leisure hours should 
not be idle hours. A useful book, or other pub- 
lication — the conversation of select friends— the 
obtaining in any proper manner of valuable infor- 
mation — should occupy those hours not devoted 
to business. Men who have distinguished them- 
selves in the world, have always been economical 
o[ time. One of the most industrious men iu 



164 THE HABITS. 

England, is Lord Brougham. He often does not 
leave the House of Lords until midnight, and yet 
he always rises by four o'clock, A. M. And by 
thus husbanding his time, he has been enabled to 
attend to a greater diversity of interests, and to 
despatch a greater amount of business, than any 
other individual of the present age. Dr. Cotton 
Mather, to prevent his time from being wasted too 
much by visitors, placed in large characters over 
the door of his study, the motto — " be brief." 
Professor Vorsinus, of the University "of Heidel- 
berg, for the same purpose, wrote over the door 
of his library — " Whoever thou art that enterest 
here, be brief, or get you gone." Scaliger, pro- 
fessor of the Belles-Letires, at Ley den, whom 
his friends denominated " an ocean of science," 
and " the master-piece of nature," inscribed on 
the door of his study : " Tempus meum est ager 
meus," (My time is my field.) " Sire, one Avord," 
said a soldier one day, to Frederick the Great, 
on presenting a lieutenant's commission for his 
signature. " If you utter two," said the indus- 
trious prince, " I will cause you to be hung up by 
the heels." " Sign," said the soldier. The 
monarch, astonished at his presence of mind, 
granted his request. Let young men cultivate 
such habits of economy in time, and in after 
years they will realize the beneficial fruits of 
their wisdom. 

Temperance. — The evils of intemperance, I 
have already adverted to in a former chapter. 



THE HABITS. 155 

Habits of temperance are of the utmost utility to 
health, usefulness, and success in business. And 
here I would repeat that temperance ia drink, is 
entire abstinence from intoxicating liquors of 
every character. Adopt this judicious rule, and 
you are entirely absolved from all danger of be- 
coming engulfed in the wretchedness and ruin 
of the habitual drunkard. But if you overstep 
this line, and become what is sometimes termed 
the temperate drinker, you are exposed to immi- 
nent danger ; and the chances are greatly against 
you, that you will ere long be involved in the 
deepest evils of intemperance. The only way 
to heinsured against intemperance and its woes, 
is to avoid the commencement of the evil, by re- 
fraining wholly from all intoxicating drinks as a 
beverage ! 

It is also necessary to acquire habits of tem- 
perance in regard to food. In the Scriptures the 
glutton and the drunkard are ranked upon nearly 
the same level ; and so heinous were these habits 
considered by the Israelites, that they punished 
those guilty of them, by stoning to death. Glut- 
tony is a vile and low habit, and assimilates its 
victimsfar too near the nature of the swine. It is 
the fruitful source of the most painful diseases, 
and leads to a premature grave. Let every young 
person avoid it as they value respectability and 
comfort — for it is highly destructive to both. 
Read the words of Ecclesiasticus — " Eat mod- 
estly that which is set before thee, and devour 



356 THE HABITS. 

not, lest thou be hated. When thou sittest 
among many, reach not thy hand out first of all. 
A wholesome sleep cometh of a temperate 
belly. Such a man riseth up in the morn- 
ing, and is well at ease with himself. Be 
not too hasty of meats : for excess of meats 
bringeth sickness, and choleric diseases cometh 
of gluttony." 

Temperance also forbids the use of tobacco, in 
any form or manner. Those Avho urge the pro- 
priety of temperance in drink, and yet use that 
nauseous weed, are inconsistent — they are tem- 
perate in one respect, but intemperate in another ; 
they abjure one evil and cling to another. The 
man who lectures publicly against intoxicating 
drinks, with his mouth loaded with filthy tobac- 
co, or his nostrils filled with snuff, furnishes a 
most beautiful commentary on consistency and 
propriety ! In the great majority of cases, to 
those who use tobacco, it is not only useless and 
uncalled for, but it is absolutely injurious to 
health and appearance. And it is now becoming 
generally believed, that tobacco is not necessary 
to health in any case — or, in other words, that in 
those few instances where it has been considered 
beneficial, health and soundness can be procured 
much better by another course of treatment. It 
is estimated that in the United States, $16,000,000 
are annually expended in the consumption of to- 
bacco! Were this enormous sum, which is now 
worse than thrown away to be applied to internal 



THE HABITS. 157 

improvements, or to the education of the peoplej 
how immense would be the benefits that would 
flow therefrom. 

" If you have ever learned to chew or smoke 
that Indian weed, called tobacco, I beg that you 
will at once drop all, cleanse your mouth, and 
never again defile yourself with it. Let a man be 
thrown from a shipwreck upon a desert island, 
and in a state of starvation, and he would rather 
die than to eat this weed, though the island might 
be covered with it; and no youth can use it, 
either in chewiDg, smoking, or snuffing, without 
decided and permanent injury to his appearance 
and health, and progress in study. When the 
fashion was so strong in England, that James L 
could get no one to preach against it, his own 
royal hand took the pen and wrote a treatise which 
he denominates ^ A Counterblast to Tobacco.^ 
The strength of his princely antidote may be 
gathered from the following closing paragraph 
of this royal counterblast : ' It is a custom loathe- 
some to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to 
the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the 

black fume thereof, nearest resembling the 

horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bot^ 
tomless.' All experienced people will tell you 
that the habit of using tobacco, in any shape, 
will render you emaciated and consumptive, 
your nerves shattered, your spirits low and 
moody, your throat dry, and demanding stimu- 
lating drinks, your person filthy, and your habits 
14 



158 THE HABITS. 

slovenly."* "In fact, not a few persons are 
made drunkards by this very means. Dr. Rush 
has a long chapter on this subject, in one of his 
volumes, which is well worth your attention. 
In addition to all this, it has been observed that 
in fevers and other diseases, medicines never ope- 
rate well in constitutions which have been ac- 
customed to the use of tobacco." With these 
facts in view, young men of sense and discre- 
tion, surely will not contract habits which cause 
them sickness and pain in obtaining them, and 
which, when obtained, so far from being any 
benefit, are the cause of evil only, and that con- 
tinually. I speak as unto wise men. 

Finally, adopt the motto — " Temperance in all 
things" — adhere to it strictly, and as a general 
rule, your reward will be health, cheerfulness, 
and a green old age. 

"Keep out of dehf'^ is a good maxim for 
young men. Much depends upon habit in this 
respect. A young man, if so disposed can gen- 
erally avoid becoming involved in debt. If he is 
prudent and economical, there will be no necessi- 
ty in all ordinary cases, of becoming indebted. 
If a young man who has none to provide for but 
himself, can not avoid debt, his prospects of fu- 
ture success must be exceedingly dark. If you 
have not the means at hand, avoid making any 
expenditure at all, until you can pay promptly. 
This is the better way. By adopting this rule. 
♦ Student"'s Manual. 



THE HABITS. 159 

many a young man has been deterred from con- 
tracting debts for that which was unnecessary 
and useless. 

Avoid cherishing a fault-finding disposition^ 
There are those who so incessantly indulge in 
complaints against men and things, against the 
weather, the times, the ways of Providence, and 
even themselves, that it finally becomes a deep- 
seated and confirmed habit. Fault-finding seems 
to be the vital atmosphere they inhale; and they 
can not exist satisfactorily to themselves, with- 
out waging a perpetual war of complaints against 
every body, and every thing. Such people be- 
come an evil to themselves, and to all with whom 
they mingle — they are a morose genus, from 
whose presence contentment and happiness flee 
away. Avoid this disagreeable habit, as far as 
possible. Cultivate a cheerful, contented dispo- 
sition. Always be disposed to look upon the 
bright side of things, and to throw the veil of 
charity over the imperfections of mankind, rath- 
er than to indulge in useless complaints. Man 
was not intended for perfectron in this life ; and 
he who looks for it and complains that he does 
not find it, will be constantly disappointed, and 
possess an endless theme of dissatisfaction. The 
world is as it is, and fault-finding will not mend 
it. Better, far, to smile than to growl at its 
failings — and better still to amend our own faults 
and inconsistencies, and endeavor by kind pre- 
cept and faithful example^ to improve our fel- 



160 THE HABITS. 

low-beings, rather than to hurl captious com- 
plaints against them. Make the best use of what 
you have, and do the best you can in the discharge 
of all your duties, and trust the rest to the care 
of the wise Disposer of all events. 



CHAPTER IV. 

CONVERSATION. 

Language is one of the most important gifts 
bestowed upon man, by a bountiful Providence. 
It holds a high rank among the peculiar faculties 
by which the human race are pre-eminently dis- 
tinguished from other classes of beings on earth. 
By the aid of language we communicate to each 
other our thoughts, our inclinations, wishes, 
hopes and fears — by language we interchange all 
the sentiments of the heart — soul mingles with 
soul, and the dearest and sweetest connexions in 
life are formed. But as every blessing the good- 
ness of God has bestowed upon man, can be per- 
verted from its original design, and made the 
source of evil, so language often becomes the 
medium by which great wretchedness is occa- 
sioned. " Tl>e tongue," says St. James, though 
" a little member, is an unruly evil, full of deadly 
poison." This is said in reference to an un- 
guarded tongue. When the tongue is made the 
instrument of calumny, falsehood, licentiousness 
14* 161 



1G2 CONVERSATION. 

and profanity — when it is made to give utterance 
to the vile and sinful thoughts of a corrupt heart 
—it truly becomes " an unruly evil, full of dead- 
ly poison !" But a strictly guarded and well- 
disciplined tongue, is an instrument capable of 
accomplishing great good ! A few remarks^ 
therefore, upon the subject of conversation, can 
not be inappropriate to the consideration of the 
young. 

The first important requisite in conversation, 
is discretion. The old proverb says, "a wise 
man thinks all that he says, and a fool says all 
that he thinks." The meaning of this maxim is, 
that the wise man selects his thoughts for con- 
versation, from the mass that is floating in his 
mind. Wise men have many improper thoughts 
as well as other people ; but one trait of their 
wisdom is, to keep such thoughts to themselves, 
and give utterance only to such as are proper 
and useful. But every thing that enters the 
minds of the foolish — whether proper or improp- 
er, wise or simple — runs off from the ends of their 
tongues ; and in this consists one portion of their 
folly. A safe rule to adopt is, to be cautious to 
inhom you speak, lohat you speak, and in whose 
presence you speak. A strict scrutiny in these 
respects, will become a safeguard that will al- 
ways keep you within the bounds of propriety and 
prudence. 

As conversation is a means, under proper man- 
agement by which the most important biowledge 



CONVERSATION. 163 

can be obtained, it should be your endeavor to 
seek out the company of the experienced and the 
well-informed. The conversation of a wise man, 
like the gentle showers of the Summer, falls upon 
youthful hearts with an inspiring and fructify- 
ing influence — it sows the seeds of useful knowl- 
edge, and lays the foundation of virtues which in 
after life, expand into a character rich in every 
valuable qualification. In conversing with such 
people, mark the language they use, the manner 
of their expression, and their general demeanor, 
that you may acquire a correct and intelligent 
method of conveying your own thoughts. I 
would not have you servilely imitate the whole 
manner and expression of others ; but you well 
know that thoughts can be uttered either in an 
obscure, broken, unintelligent, and vulgar man- 
ner, or in a way that is clear, perspicuous, and 
genteel. To secure this latter method, great as- 
sistance can be gained by observing the manner 
of those who possess it, and adopting a general 
course similar to theirs. 

To obtain information, your conversation should 
be varied in accordance with the condition and 
occupation of those with whom you speak. To 
converse with the merchant or professional man, 
upon the mechanic arts — or with the mechanic, 
on agriculture — or with the farmer, on the rise 
and fall of stocks, or on the minutiae of con)- 
merce, or on literary criticisms — as a general re- 
sult, your stock of information would receive 



IM CONVERSATION, 

but little addition. With every individual, I re- 
peat, you should endeavor to lead the conversa- 
tion to those topics whereon they are " at home" 
■ — subjects relating to their particular calling, and 
in regard to which they are supposed to be well 
informed. In this manner, from every person, 
however limited his general knowledge, you can 
gain information which can be turned to good 
account. 

Confine not your conversation to people of one 
opinion, or of the same class, sect, or party, ei- 
ther in regard to religion, politics, or any other 
subject. By hearing different opinions and sen- 
timents advanced and advocated upon the same 
topic, you have a much more favorable opportu- 
nity of deciding where truth resides, and of in- 
creasing your general stock of knowledge, than 
you possibly could, were you to restrict your in- 
tercourse exclusively to one party or class. And 
here let me caution you, to permit not the truth 
er value of any sentiment you may hear uttered 
by an individual, to be decided by your prepos- 
sessions for or against the party or sect to which 
he may belong ; but solely by the consistency 
and reasonableness of the sentiment itself — by 
its agreement or opposition to the dictates of 
wisdom, and to known and well established facts. 
From every party and sect, much information 
that is useful can be obtained, if they are listened 
•to with candor and discrimination. 

In company, conversation should not be allow- 



CONVERSATION. 105 

ed to stagnate, as this causes all to feel awkward 
and unpleasant. To obviate this difficulty, if 
proper topics do not readily occur, let some val- 
uable publication be read aloud by one of ihe 
party. Each paragraph may become the subject 
of general comment, as it is read— every individ- 
ual who feels inclined, expressing his opinion in 
regard to its merits. In this manner, a flow of 
conversation can be kept up, that will be enter- 
taining and useful to all. 

Beware in company, of speaking against an ab- 
sent person. In such cases, your words will 
seem to be conveyed on the wings of the wind. 
The individual who is the subject of your re- 
marks, will assuredly hear of them, and you will 
be extremely liable to become involved in diffi- 
culty from your thoughtlessness. By detracting 
from the merits of the absent, the company will 
be at liberty to surmise that you are actuated by 
envy or malice ; and thus you may lower your- 
self in their estimation, instead of the person 
against whom your remarks are directed. A cer- 
tain eccentric individual was always observed, at 
parties, to be among the last that retired. On 
being interrogated why he uniformly tarried so 
Jong, he replied that "as soon as a man was gone, 
they always began to talk against him ; and, con- 
sequently, he thought it always judicious to stay 
till none were left to slander him." There is 
too much truth in this suggestion. To speak 
disparagingly of the absent, is a failing too gen- 



166 CONVERSATION. 

erally indulged. It should, however, be guarded 
against, as a practice alike unjust, indelicate, and 
ungentlemanly. It is doing unto others precisely 
as we would, not have others do unto us. 

Be cautious upon what topics you converse. 
Never introduce or speak upon subjects that are 
indelicate, profane, or in any way improper. 
There is no greater indication of a lack of good 
breeding, than a violation of this rule. Especial- 
ly avoid indulging levity upon sacred subjects. 
Religion is a topic too important — the names of 
our Creator and of our Redeemer are too sacred — 
to be mentioned in a light trifling manner, or to 
be made themes for ridicule or merriment. 

Avoid interlarding your conversation with vul- 
gar sayings and low expressions. Many are fond 
of indulging in double entendres — in conveying 
by emphasis or gesture, some indelicate idea, un- 
der a form of decent language. This habit should 
be carefully avoided by every young man who 
would lay claims to gentility. Anecdotes of a 
lascivious character, or such as terminate in an 
attempt at vulgar wit, should never be permitted 
to pass your lips. 

Never be guilty of using profane language. In 
this respect, young men are extremely liable to 
err. It seems that some view it as an accom- 
plishment, a mark of gallantry and manhood, to 
intersperse their conversation with oaths and im- 
precations. But this is a great mistake. There 
is no more certain evidence of ill manners, and 



CONVERSATION. 167 

of familiarity with low company, than the habit 
of swearing. It shoAvs an evident want of true 
taste and politeness. Lord Chesterfield, who is 
good authority on this subject, says that oaths 
are never heard in the language of a real gentle- 
man. It is true, some who lay pretensions to 
gentility, indulge in this low habit ; but their pre- 
tensions are not well founded. This one prac- 
tice displays their vulgarity as evidently as 
though the word were branded upon their fore- 
head. Permit me, therefore, to urge the young 
man whose eye is scanning these lines, to refrain 
entirely from this base practice. It is not only 
wicked in the sight of God — not only impolite, 
dishonorable, and ungentlemanly — but useless, 
uncalled for, and absolutely silly ! If you would 
be respected by yourself and by others, be not 
contaminated by that vulgarity which invariably 
degrades you in the estimation of the discreet 
and wise. And whenever your companions in- 
dulge in profanity, exercise all your influence by 
entreaty, persuasion, or even ridicule, to induce 
them to abandon a habit which ranks them with 
the lowest of our race. It is hardly necessary to 
say, that it is exceedingly impolite and indecorous 
to use profane language in company— especially 
in the company of ladies ! This the good sense 
of every intelligent young maij will dictate ; and 
he will therefore, not allow himself to be guiltf 
< i such vulgarity. 
Po not engross the whole attention of the so- 



168 CONVERSATION. 

eial circle. You should recollect that others 
have ideas as well as you — that their desire to 
express them may be as strong as yours, and that 
the company may be as highly edified by their 
conversation, as by the uninterrupted flow of 
your own thoughts. Remember the adage — 
'Water running from a bottle nearly empty, 
makes more noise than in running from one that 
is full." People will sometimes apply this to 
those who monopolize a great proportion of the 
conversation. Whenever the propensity seizes 
you to talk much more than others, in company, 
think of the loud sound of the empty bottle ; and 
allow the suspicion to enter your mind, that per- 
haps those who are compelled to listen, are think- 
ing of it also. This will be a salutary curb, and 
will be likely to keep you within the bounds of 
politeness. 

Avoid speaking much of yourself and your own 
exploits, in a mixed company. He who makes 
himself the theme of his whole conversation, is 
very liable to become exceedingly ridiculous in the 
eyes of others. It has the appearance of holding 
a very elevated rank, in your own estimation — 
and that of all the subjects that have engrossed the 
attention of man since the world began, none seem' 
to you so worthy the notice of those in your pres- 
ence, as your own attractions or achievements. 
A little reflection on the ridiculous light in which 
you would thus place yourself will cause you to 
avoid this display of littleness and vanity. 



CONVERSATION. 169- 

Do not make others the subject of ill-natured 
jests. It may for the moment, produce a laugh 
in the company ; but it may, also, send a shaft 
that will rankle deep in some heart, and become 
the source of bitter enmity towards you. 

When an individual is addressing you, avoid 
seeming inattentive to his remarks. It has the 
appearance of holding him in slight estimation, 
and is equivalent to saying, " I deem you of too 
little importance to claim my notice." 

Beware of entering into loud and boisterous 
disputation or wrangling upon any topic, in com- 
pany. If the opinions you may happen to ex- 
press, are objected to, and you are thus compel- 
led, as it were, to enter upon their defence, do it 
with calmness and serenity. Keep yourself per- 
fectly cool and collected ; and avoid showing the 
least symptom of anger. Nothing is more impo- 
lite, and nothing gives your opponent greater 
advantage over you, than to burst out into a blaze 
of rage. Carefully avoid such a catastrophe. If 
he becomes angry, do you not fail to be good- 
natured — if he frowns, do you smile — if he re- 
sorts to calumny and vituperation, do you return 
it with forgiveness and kindness. "A good word 
for a bad one, is worth much and costs but lit- 
tle." You can not fail to obtain a sensible ad- 
vantage by pursuing this course. These remarks 
will apply especially to religious topics. A 
friendly conversation, or disputation upon con- 
troverted points of religious faith, is both pleas^ 
15 



170 CONVERSATION. 

ant and instructive, when the parties remain in a 
mild and well-governed state of mind. But if 
one or both become Migry^ all pleasure and profit 
ceases — it becomes a strife of bad feelings and 
acrimonious personalities, instead of that proper 
interchange of opinions, whereby truth is elicited. 
When the feelings become aroused to this disa- 
greeable state, evidence and argument are of no 
avail ; they make no convincing and lasting im- 
pression, and the conversation had better be clo- 
sed at once — for 

" A man convinced against his will, 
Is of the same opinion still," 

Never flatly contradict another in conversation. 
It is much more proper to say, " that, perhaps, is 
a mistake," than to exclaim, " that is a lie." The 
former is a more honorable and gentlemanly man-" 
ner of contradicting a statement, than the latter. 
When you are compelled to differ from another, 
in any sentiment he has uttered, do it with ex- 
pressions of regret that your views call upon you 
to sustain opinions of an adverse character. This 
will tend to remove or prevent harshness and as- 
perity — it v/ill prepossess him in favor of the 
friendly spirit which you exhibit, and cause him 
to view your sentiments in a more favorable light 
than he would were you to pursue a different 
course. 

Be not too positive in any of your statements. 
You will frequently discover yourself wrong, 



CONVERSATION. 171 

when you feel very positive you are right. Every 
subject has two sides ; and before you form a def- 
inite conclusion, or enter upon the defence of an 
opinion, be certain that you have fairly seen and 
examined both sides. A botanist, in publishing 
an account of a flower denominated " the bee- 
orchis," described it as having the form of a bee 
painted upon its leaves. Another writer public- 
ly contradicted this statement, and maintained 
that it was the figure of a Jiy that was impressed 
upon the petal of the flower. In this, however, 
he displayed the limited extent of his informa- 
tion upon this subject, for there are two species 
of orchis flower— the bee-orchis and the fly-orchis. 
Had not this writer been so very positive, he 
would not have published and displayed his 
ignorance to the world. I repeat, then, be not 
too positive upon any subject, or too precipitate 
in expressing your opinion. Give every topic a 
thorough examination before you become its ad- 
vocate. 

Permit me here to caution young men against 
that ungentlemanly practice, in which too many 
indulge, of speaking in a light and disparaging 
manner of the female character in general. Some 
young men seem to imagine it exceedingly wise 
and knowing, to indulge in these general suspi- 
cions. But they invariably indicate a weak head, 
an unkind, ungenerous disposition, and a wicked 
and corrupt heart. Such young men should re- 
member that their mothers, sisters, and future 



172 COIVVERSATION. 

Wives, are all included in these sweeping denun- 
ciations. If they possess any love or respect for 
them, their lips will be closed to these vile and 
unfounded calumnies. 



CHAPTER V. 



AMUSEMENTS. 



This is a subject fraught with difficulty. Man- 
kind are furnished with many faculties that are 
t^apable of bestowing much amusement ; which 
"sufficiently shows us," says Addison, "that 
Providence did not design this world should be 
filled with murmurs and repinings. or that the 
heart of man should be involved in gloom and 
melancholy." That it is proper, yea, necessary, 
for the young to seek occasional amusement, is a 
subject which admits of but little dispute. The 
bow must frequently be unbent, to retain its elas- 
tic spring. So the body must obtain relaxation 
from labor, or it speedily wears out — and the 
mind must be occupied, at proper intervals, with 
lighter and more diversified topics, than a constant 
grapple with abstract sciences, and the cares and 
perplexities of life, or its delicate and wonderful 
machinery becomes disordered. To be healthy, 
the body must frequently change its posture — to 
continue sound, the mind must unbend from its 
15*- 173 



174 AMUSEMENTS. 

high vocations, and seek rest by a resort to the 
powers of the imagination. 

There is a thought connected with this topic, 
of which the young should be aware. Amuse- 
ment cannot be obtained except at the e.Tpense 
of experiencing something of a contrary charac- 
ter. Without weariness you can never realize 
the enjoyment of rest — without hunger and thirst, 
you can not know the satisfaction of partaking 
of food and drink. And be it remembered, that 
without application to business — without indus- 
trious exertion in some occupation which is more 
or less painful — you can not possibly find amuse- 
ment, properly speaking, in any thing. It is 
alone by contrast that amusement possesses at- 
tractions. Destroy the contrast, and the amuse- 
ment ceases. How often, in the midst of some 
scene of amusement, does the wish escape the 
bosom of the young — " O that I could always 
remain engaged in these gratifying pastimes!" 
Alas, ignorant youth ! know that were these sea- 
sons of amusement to continue without interrup- 
tion, soon would they become as irksome and 
painful as labor — soon would they lose all their 
charms, and be distasteful and insipid ! Those 
who are enabled by wealth to make pleasure, as 
it is termed, the whole occupation of life, find it 
far more difficult to obtain amusement, than peo- 
ple in the humbler walks of life. Pleasure is 
their business, their trade ; and it often becomes 
as onerous and irksome to them, as any occupa- 



AMUSEMENTS. 175- 

lion does to others. The young should, therefore, 
remember that they cannot obtain amusement 
from any source 'whatever^ without they arc 
•prepai^edforit by previous industry, labor, and 
deprivation. As Avell can food he grateful to a 
stomach already overloaded and surfeited. 

While it is universally conceded that amuse- 
ments are proper to youth, the character of those 
amusements is a serious and important question, 
in regard to which there exists a diversity of opin- 
ion. Such is the infirmity of human nature, that 
whatever is pleasing and gratifying for a season — 
made so by previous deprivation — we are liable to 
indulge in to such excess, that it becomes an evil, 
generating pain and wretchedness. From the 
very nature of the subject, the young must be left, 
in a good degree, to the guidance of their own 
judgment and discretion, in regard to their recre- 
ations. Their parents and guardians can not al- 
ways be with them in their amusements. They 
must, therefore, bring to bear that self-controi 
which will restrain excess, or the evil will be upon 
their own heads. There is as much need of tem- 
perance in amusements, as in relation to any other 
subject. Without a temperate forbearance, the 
most harmless amusements become the sources 
of unhappiness. The very circumstance that we 
have too much of a good thing, makes it good for 
nothing — makes it an evil rather than a good„ 
Young men should, therefore, exercise caution 
and circumspection and much forethought, iis 



176 AMtJSEMENTS. 

selecting their amusements. They should choose 
those that possess the least liability to lead to ex- 
cess and ruin — if possible, they should select 
those which both please and instruct. 

" Pleasure, or wrong or rightly understood, 
Our greatest evil, or our greatest good." 

Card playing is often resorted to by the young', 
for amusement. Although the act of card playing 
for recreation, when considered simply in and of 
itself, is not injurious, yet as its associations and 
tendencies are dangerous, and as it occupies hours 
that might be spent more profitably, the practice 
should be avoided. There is nothing in this 
amusement that can be beneficial. It affords no 
useful exercise for the mind — stores it with no 
valuable ideas — not even admitting of conversa- 
tion to any extent, except upon the trivial subject 
of the game. It is one of the most unmeaning, 
unprofitable, and fruitless employments to which 
the mind can well be directed. But the great ob- 
jection to card playing, is its dangerous tendency. 
An expertness in this practice, is liable to induce 
a desire to venture a small hazard at the gaming 
table, and then a larger and larger still, until a 
thirst for gaming is acquired, which leads to pov- 
erty and wretchedness. I would, therefore, advise 
young men to avoid card playing entirely. It 
can not possibly bestow any benefit upon them ; 
but it can lead them into the most sinful practi- 
ces ; it can lead and has led to the dungeon and the 
gallows ! Who is willing to run this hazard, for 



AMUSEMENTS. 177 

the sake of the little amusement this practice 
can impart ? 

" Dancing, for those whose occupations are o^ 
a sedentary character, such as students and many 
classes of mechanics, would be an appropriate 
exercise, if it were not perpetually abused. But 
by assembling in large crowds, continuing it late 
at evening, and then sallying out in a perspiration, 
into the cold or damp night air, a thousand times 
more mischief has been done, than all the bene- 
fit which it has afforded would balance." And be- 
sides, as dancing assemblies are usually conduct- 
ed, they become, to many young men, the nurse- 
ries of intemperance, prodigality, and indolence, 
" It were greatly to be wished that this exercise 
might be regulated by those rules which human 
experience has indicated, instead of being subject 
to the whim and caprice of fashion. It is a great 
pity an exercise so valuable to the sedentary, and 
especially to those who sit much, of both sexes, 
should be so managed as to injure half the world, 
and excite against it the prejudice of the other 
half."* As it is, however, young men who wish 
to preserve good moral and physical habits, should 
wholly refrain from mingling in those routs, balls, 
and assemblies, where dancing is continued to a 
late hour, and where the intoxicating beverage is 
freely circulated. Amid such scenes, inclinations, 
tastes and habits of the most deleterious tendency, 
may be formed — the germs of vices may there be 
* Young Man's Guide. 



178 AMUSEMENTS. 

obtained, which lead to utter wretchedness and 
degradation. 

Theatres are another source of amusement its 
which young men often resort. That theatres 
might be made instructive — that they might be 
made schools of morality and virtue — is undoubt- 
edly true. But that they are such, all know to be 
false. As they are now managed, they are the 
fountain, the very hot-bed of immorality. Every 
\icious habit, and every sinful propensity, there 
finds a stimulant. Lewd songs, lewd dances, 
gestures and expressions, are constantly brought 
to the attention of the audience. And it must be, 
that theatre-going people, of both sexes, are fond 
of these indelicate exhibitions, or actors, whose 
interest it is to cater for the public taste, would 
not dare to indulge in them. Were these immoral- 
ities to be indignantly frowned down by the au- 
dience, upon every representation, they would 
soon be banished from the stage. But as long as 
they are received with evident marks of approba- 
tion, these streams of pollution will still continue 
to send their contaminations into the hearts of 
thousands. 

No young man can be in the habit of attending 
theatres, without extreme liability to become cor- 
rupted in every principle. Dr. Griscom, of New- 
York, in a report made a few years ago, on the 
causes of vice and crime in that city, says— 
" Among the causes of vicious excitement in our 
city, none appear to be so powerful in their na- 



AMUSEMENTS. 179- 

ture, as theatrical amusements. The number of 
boys and young men who have become deter- 
mined thieves, in order to obtain the means of 
introduction to the theatres and circuses, would 
appal the feelings of every virtuous mind, could 
the whole truth be laid before them." Rosseau, 
Sir John Hawkins, Archbishop Tillotson, Bishop 
Collier, Sir Matthew Hale, Burgh, Dr. Johnson, 
Lord Kaimes, with a multitude of other distin- 
guished writers, all bear testimony against the 
demoralizing and highly corrupting influence of 
theatres. They are among the most dangerous 
places to which young men can resort for amuse- 
ment; and the safest course is to abstain from 
them entirely. The love for this amusement, 
like that for alcohol, grows imperceptibly, until 
the heedless youth becomes its slave and its vic- 
tim. And, therefore, as in regard to intoxicating 
drinks, the only point of security, respecting the 
evil influences of theatres, is total abstinence ! 

Young men need not lack for proper amuse- 
ment. By an enhghtened discrimination, they 
can find an abundant supply from sources not only 
innocent, but instructive. Recreations in the open 
air, for those'whose occupations are sedentary— 
the perusal of interesting books and other publi- 
cations — the frequenting of well-conducted read- 
ing rooms, and an attendance at lyceums, and 
other meetings for pubhc lectures — all afibrd 
amusement combined with useful instruction. 
Social parties, and a frequent entrance into the 



180 AMUSEMENTS. 

various family circles of your friends, are prolific 
sources of innocent recreation. And I can not 
forbear urging young men (if, indeed, it is ne- 
cessary to urge them) to frequent in their lei- 
sure hours, the company of intelligent and virtu- 
ous females, of the class with whom they asso- 
ciate. Nothing tends more to polish a young 
man, and to refine his tastes and his manners, 
than the society of the virtuous of the other sex. 
In such company, vulgarity and profanity will be 
rebuked, and a guard will be placed upon the lip 
and the actions, that can not but exercise a saluta- 
ry tendency. 

In conclusion, I would repeat that, in regard to 
amusements, much depends upon the discretion, 
the self-control and good sense of young men. 
' You desire to be respectable, prosperous, and 
happy. But bear this truth in mind, that you 
can not become so, except by your own exertions, 
your own forbearance and discretion. Your inter- 
ests and enjoyments are vitally involved in the 
character of your amusements. Deeply fix the 
resolution in your mind, to indulge in no recrea- 
tion that is not of an innocent nature, and of a 
strict moral tendency, and you will exhibit a wis- 
dom productive of immense benefits. 



CHAPTER VL 

DRESS. 

The primary object in dress, is to afford cover- 
ing and comfort to the body, and to add to it a 
comely and pleasing appearance. These are the 
only essential reasons which render apparel ne- 
cessary, and are the only proper purposes for 
which it can be assumed. 

There are two extremes in dress, into which 
people often run — slovenliness, and fopper^y. It 
should be the study of every young man to avoid 
both these extremes, as a like violation of that 
good taste and that self-respect which they should 
ever cultivate. 

Slovenliness in apparel, is exceedingly unbe- 
coming to all, but highly so to youth. It plainly 
evinces a lack of energy, of spirit, of taste, and of 
a proper pride of appearing decently. There is 
nothing that more plainly indicates slothfulness 
and a want of bodily and mental vigor, than care- 
lessness in respect to apparel. A young man of 
this appearance will be viewed as of little worth 
or promise. There is, however, a wide distino 
16 181 



183 DRESS. 

tion between appearing in a slovenly manner, and 
appearing in garments of a coarse texture, or that 
have been injured by use. A man may be arrayed 
in clothes of the finest quality, and of the most 
costly value, and yet from the careless manner in 
which he assumes them, and the filth he allows 
to collect upon them, may appear slovenly and un- 
becoming. While he whose garments are poor 
or threadbare, may appear even genteel, by the 
care and neatness he displays in their appearance. 
It is not to be supposed that people of different oc- 
cupations can dress in the same manner, or appear 
with the same neatness. Some employments are 
of that nature that the garments, despite the ut- 
most care, soon become soiled ; but even in such 
occupations, you can easily distinguish between 
the slovenly and the tidy. There is no employ- 
ment in which there cannot be a certain degree 
of taste and care displayed in the dress. I would 
not have the mechanic or the farmer, engage in 
his business, starched and ruffled — this would be 
out of taste and propriety ; but each, of every 
calling, should have garments corresponding to 
the peculiarities of his employment. And it 
would be an equal destitution of propriety, to ap- 
pear in company, or in the house of worship, with 
clothes soiled and defaced by ordinary occupa- 
tions, if you can consistently part with the means 
to procure those that are more suitable. Allow 
a sense of propriety to dictate in regard to these 
things, and you will hardly fail of acting properly. 



DRESS. 383 

Equally to be avoided is tlie other extreme of 
foppery. This is a passion, an inordinate love 
for dress. The head of the fop seems to be filled 
with little else than fashions, colors, and figures. 
But of all failings, this rage for dress is one of the 
most simple and unmanly. That little children 
should be pleased with bright colors, and pretty 
figures, and glistening spangles, is not a matter 
of astonishment. But that those who have grown 
to the stature of men, and who have the appear- 
ance of men, should still continue children, and 
allow their minds to be engrossed by the frivoli- 
ties of infancy, is truly surprising, and much to be 
regretted. It is one of the most unerring indica- 
tions of a weak intellect, a narrow capacity, and 
a mind barren of every valuable qualification. — 
Whenever you behold a man running nearly crazy 
after the extremes of fashion, and arraying him- 
self with all the frippery of a doll, you may, with- 
out hesitation, set him down as one who has lit- 
tle claim to manhood except his form. And, in- 
deed, he seems to view himself in a similar light 
— he appears to base all his pretensions to man- 
hood and respectability, on the adornment of the 
outward person ; on the cut and texture of his 
clothes — at the same time allowing the mind to 
be choked with the weeds of ignorance, or over- 
run with the brambles of pride, vanity, and haughty 
selfishness. 

Young men, never aspire to the name of a fop. 
Let all that is manly and noble in your minds, 



184 DRESS. 

arise in utter detestation of such a character. He 
is an object of the ridicule even of children of or- 
dinary minds. Neverpermltyourselves to believe 
that your rank in community, will depend upon 
your dress — or that your worth will be estimated 
by the cost, quality, or fashion of your garments. 
The fop may weigh you in this balance, and from 
these things decide upon your value in his sight. 
But, believe me, people of discernment — the great 
mass of the thinking in society — will judge of 
your merits on different grounds. They look be- 
yond the productions of the sheep and the silk- 
worm — their opinions are not colored byjogwood 
and indigo — their views are not shaped by the 
tailor's shears ! They penetrate beneath these 
outward embellishments, and look at the moral 
and intellectual worth of the individual. They 
fully coincide in opinion with the poet, that 

" Worth makes the man, and wavt of it, the fellow— 
The rest is all but Icatlier or prunella." 

Dress is a poor criterion by which to judge of 
the worth of a man. Who does not know that 
the simpleton can dress in the same manner as the 
wise man — and the knave as the honest and vir- 
tuous? And if dress is the only rule of judg- 
ment, hoW can the one be distinguished from the 
other? You are not so weak as to suppose, that 
by your dress, you can deceive those who are ac- 
quainted with your character. If you are known 
to be vicious and depraved, you may array your- 



DRESS. 185 

self in the most costly and fashionable apparel, 
and yet you can not cover your wickedness. 
When an acquaintance meets you, his judgment 
is not in the least blinded, nor his memory blunt- 
ed, by your dress— he immediately exclaims, 
mentally, '' there goes the young man who spends 
all his income in revelry and dissipation — there 
goes the intemperate and licentious young man, 
or the gamester, or the thief!" Of Avhat avail 
are your fine garments in such cases? But 
when your character is good— when community 
are aware that you are industrious, temperate 
and virtuous— plain and neat garments will not 
lessen their estimation of your worth, but will 
rather have a tendency to increase it. 

" It is an indication of a youth void of under- 
standing, to be wholly occupied about the deco- 
ration of his person, and the display of external 
pomp and accomplishments. There is an atten- 
tion to the decencies of dress, which is conducive 
to the well-being of society. But there are many 
with whom the adorning of their persons is the 
principal source of self satisfaction, and the chief 
business of hfe. Man is an intelhgent being. 
He has glorious faculties to exercise. What can 
more strikingly indicate a want of that wisdom 
by which such a being should be distinguished, 
than to have his faculties absorbed and his am- 
bition satisfied, with the transient varieties of ex- 
ternal attire ? Besides, how contemptible is the 
distinction which is merely superficial. The bee 
16* 



186 DRES3. 

that gathers treasures from every flower, has not 
the finest coating. The eagle, that soars on ma- 
jestic wings, to the birth of the morning, has not 
the most glittering plumage. It is the butterfly, 
that idly flutters on the passing breeze, which the 
fopling emulates. The care of the body is more 
with him, than the care of the mind. With use- 
fulness and virtue, with knowledge and reason to 
engage him, behold him the slave of a color, or a 
fashion, placing his glory in that in which inferior 
minds may often vie with him, and flowers and 
plants excel him. Such a young man, whom 
dress alone occupies and delights, will be claimed 
by folly as her legitimate child. Wisdom rejects 
him. Intelligence sighs over him, as a young 
man void of understanding."* 

The more gaily and fashionably I am dressed, 
says the young man, the more readily am I smiled 
upon by the ladies. This remark, as a general 
rule, is unfounded, although it may be true in 
some instances. But of what value can that 
young lady be, or of what worth her esteem, who 
judges of the character of her company solely by 
their dress ? Suppose you could obtain such a 
young lady for a companion, would she be a prize 
worth the seeking ? I am confident that the great 
majority of young ladies, prefer plainness and 
neatness in the dress of their male associates, to 
the extremes of the frivolous fop. Says a modern 
writer, " take this as a secret worth half a fortune 
' Bishop Dehon 



DRESS. IS? 

to you, that womeH, however vain they may be 
themselves, desjnse vanity in men /" 

Let neatness and economy be your smdy m 
■dress. You should not be so far behind the fash- 
ion as to be odd, nor one of those who are the 
most forward in seeking and adopting its changes; 
but should conform to the general style of those 
of your age and rank, in the community where 
you reside. It was a remark of Dr. Franklin 
that " oar own eyes, at most, only cost us a pair 
of spectacles ; but other people's eyes cost us all 
our gay dresses and splendid carriages." This is 
true in respect to the great majority of the world. 
But the wise and the independent youth should 
dress to please his own eyes, and to suit his own 
taste, rather than with an absorbing and slavish, 
desire to please the extravagant fancies of others. 
In the former case, he would act as becometh an 
intelligent and fred man — in the latter, as one in 
a degrading bondage. 

Your great inquiry should not be, how many 
new suits can I obtain in a year ? but it should 
rather be, how long, by proper care, can I pre- 
serve my old suit, and cause it to appear neat and 
respectable? Prudence, economy, and good taste 
call upon you to avoid in dress, both slovenliness 
and carelessness on the one hand, and extrava- 
gance and folly on the other. 



CHAPTER VII. 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 



The standing which young men will occupy in 
society, and their future success in life, depend 
much upon the demeanor which they exhibit to 
the world. To understand the manners and con- 
duct of a gentleman, and to practice them, is one 
good step toward permanent respectability. By 
this I do not mean an aping of the frivolous words, 
and phrases, and actions, of certain fashionable 
ones, who would give the cue to public manners, 
and decide upon gentility; but an acquaintance 
and familiarity with those principles of propriety 
and suavity, which ever characterize the conduct 
of a true gentleman. To obtain the esteem and 
good-will of your fellow-beings, one important 
means is, to treat them in a gentle, agreeable and 
respectful manner, as far as their situation and 
merits will allow, and to conduct with propriety 
in their presence. A few observations, therefore, 
on general demeanor, can not be inappropriate. 

Gentility J in the true acceptation of that word, 

183 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 189 

IS of great importance to young men. True gen- 
tility is not that which exhibits itself only in a 
bow, a simper, or the formal expression of a com- 
pliment ; but it is that kindness in the heart and 
that sense of propriety, which enables you to 
make yourself agreeable, and to conduct with de- 
corum, in whatever company you may mingle. 
Too little attention is paid to gentility by many^ 
who, it would seem, should not be deficient there- 
in. In the city of New York, many of the peo- 
ple are in the habit of inviting to their dwellings, 
the ministers who assemble every Spring to attend 
the anniversaries of the great religious societies, 
which concentrate in that city. But these hospi- 
table entertainers often found, much to their sur- 
prise and regret, that the manners of many of their 
clerical guests, were not strictly genteel. Furni- 
ture and carpets ruined by a coating of mud, a 
plentiful sprinkling of the expectoration of the 
pipe, and of the juice of tobacco, and the relics of 
half masticated quids, were the return which too 
many received for their kindness. The evil even- 
tually became so oppressive, that a few years 
fiince, on the approach of one of these anniversa- 
ries, precautionary notices were inserted in the 
public prints of New York, calling upon the cler- 
gymen who might attend,to avoid repeating these 
instances of ill-breeding ! Surely it would be 
supposed, that the good sense of these gentlemen 
would have screened them from these improprie- 
ties. What can be more impolite than to stride 



190 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

into a well-furnished apartment, with the feet 
loaded with mud, and in this condition sit down 
and extend them upon a chair or a sofa? How 
destitute of common decency, to fill the apartment, 
when others are present, with the sullbcating 
fumes of tobacco, or defile the mouth with that 
loathsome weed, which would nauseate the stom- 
ach of the swine, and scatter the filthy saliva 
upon the carpets, the furniture, the jams of the 
fire-place, and even upon the dresses of the com- 
pany ! Every young man who would be consid- 
ered as possessing good manners, should avoid 
these and all like practices. They indicate a 
total ignorance, or an entire disregard, of the dic- 
tates of common propriety. 

A swaggering, braggadocia air and manner, is 
very rude and ungenteel. Some young men 
seem to imagine that this is the proper way to ap- 
pear of consequence in the eyes of others. But 
herein they greatly mistake. High swelling 
words, and haughty, bombastic airs, instead of 
creating respect, invariably excite the ridicule 
and contempt of the discriminating. People who 
examine and try such bubbles, generally discover 
beneath this outward bravado air, an empty mind, 
and a cowardly yet cruel heart. If you endeavor 
to swell yourself into consequence, your fate, 
without doubt, will be that of the frog in the fa- 
ble, which essayed to expand to the size of the ox. 
" If," says Gtuarles, " thou desirest to be truly 
%^aliant, fear to do any injury ; he that fears not 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 101 

to do evil, is always afraid to suffer evil : he that 
never fears is desperate, and he that always fears 
is a coward. He is truly valiant who dares noth- 
ing but what he may, and fears nothing but what 
he ought." In company, your carriage should 
be distinguished neither by swagger upon the one 
hand, nor extreme bashfulness on the other. You 
should occupy the medium ground of these ex- 
tremes — you should be calm, self-possessed, com- 
placent, and agreeable, as far as possible— pre- 
pared to receive or give those attentions that are 
called for by circumstances. 

Politeness to ladies, should never be forgotten 
or neglected on any occasion, or in any circum- 
stances. To illustrate, I will mention an occur- 
rence which lately took place, to the knowledge 
of the writer. In the early part of the Fall of 
1836, a few ladies residing in the lower part of 
the city of New-York, accompanied by some fe- 
male friends visiting the city, were caught late in 
the afternoon, by a severe shower, while walking 
in the suburbs of the town. While in this con- 
dition, far from their residence, exposed to the 
rain, which was falling in torrents, a train of cars 
approached on the rail-road from Harlsem, filled 
with men inside, but with abundance of room on 
the outer seats. The ladies hailed the driver of 
the horses, and requested a passage into town. 
But before he could reply, they were answered by 
a general and vociferous—" No— no— drive on— 
drive on t" from the gentlemen within— and on 



1^3 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

they went, leaving the ladies to their fate ! Figure 
to yourself the condition of the parties, and then 
ask yourself whether there was a genuine gentle- 
man within those cars ? There could not have 
been one, or he would have raised his voice in be- 
half of females in this unpleasant condition. Let 
these circumstances be remembered, as an in- 
stance where great impoliteness was displayed. 
Politeness demands that a gentleman should 
incommode himself to confer a favor upon a lady, 
or an aged or weakly person. In company, there- 
fore, or in any assemblage, never continue sitting, 
while females or the aged are standing unprovi- 
ded w^ith seats. In stage-coaches, or other con- 
ditions where females are compelled to bear you 
company, avoid all vulgar or immodest language, 
all indelicate allusions — they would be both im- 
polite and ungenerous. A female correspondent, 
in writing to the Editor of the Spectator, (No. 
242,) says — " I had the fate of meeting with a 
rude fellow in a stage-coach, who entertained 
two or three women of us (for there was no man 
beside himself) with language as indecent as 
ever was heard upon the water. The impertinent 
observations which the coxcomb made upon our 
shame and confusion, were such that it is an un- 
speakable grief to reflect upon them. It would 
certainly be worth your consideration to look in- 
to the frequent misfortunes of this kind, to which 
the modest and innocent are exposed by the licen- 
tious behavior of such as are as much strangers 



•GENERAL DEMEANOR. 193 

to good breeding as to virtue. Could we avoid 
hearing what we do not approve, as easily as we 
can seeing what is disagreeable, there were some 
consolation ; but since in a box at a play, in an 
assembly of ladies, or even in a few at church, it 
is in the power of a gross coxcomb to utter what 
a woman can not avoid hearing, how miserable is 
her condition who comes within the power of 
such impertinents ? and how necessary is it to re- 
peat invectives against such a behavior ? If the 
licentious had not utterly forgotten what it is to be 
modest, they would know that offended modesty 
labors under one of the greatest sufferings to 
which human life can be exposed. If one of these 
brutes could reflect thus much, though they want 
shame, they would be moved by their pity, to ab- 
hor an impudent behavior in the presence of the 
chaste and innocent." In circumstances like 
these, where people of both sexes are casually 
brought into each other's company, the gentleman 
can readily be distinguished from the ill-bred and 
unmannerly, by his respectful attentions and 
deference to the ladies. 

An affable and sociable disposition is another 
important component of the general demeanor. 
A sour, morose disposition — -a stoical indifference 
exhibited towards those in your presence — are the 
most certain means of becoming disliked and neg- 
lected in turn. -He who displays great hauteur in 
his conduct — who refrains from conversation, ex- 
cept with a select few — who answers a remark ad- 



194 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

dressed to him, only by a cold and formal inclinsk- 
tion of the body, or by a monosyllable — will soon 
be left to his solitary grandeur, to amuse himself by 
his own communings. He will be avoided as an 
ice-berg, that freezes up the flow of social feeling. 
A disposition of this character is to be avoided. 

To be condescending and social in your inter- 
course with society, is an eflfectual method of ob- 
taining general good will. Politicians understand 
this principle of human nature. Hence it is not 
uncommon, upon the approach of an election, ta 
behold candidates for office, who had before been 
distant and very reserved in their intercourse with 
the common people, become suddenly exceeding- 
ly affable and sociable. None are so poor or so 
rough, but they can be spoken to, and shaken 
heartily by the hand, their families inquired after, 
and an interest manifested in all their affairs ! 
And, it is to be feared, that too often, by these 
means, the aspirant accomplishes his purposes. 
Now the disposition which, in such instances is 
hypocritically exhibited, I would have you always 
cherish in your heart and manifest in your con- 
duct. The man who is good enough for you to 
shake hands with, and converse sociably with, 
previous to an election, is worthy of the same at- 
tentions afterward. Banish all haughtiness — be 
condescending, and affable, and sociable — bestow 
proper notice and attention upon all with whom 
you mingle, and you can not well fail to occupy 
a good standing in their estimation. 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 195 

Kindness is another characteristic of the gen- 
eral demeanor, which should be cultivated. There 
is no trait in human nature more lovely and cap- 
tivating, or more highly calculated to win regard 
and esteem, than a kind disposition. To be 
obliging and accommodating, as far as lies in your 
power, to your neighbors and those with whom 
you have intercourse, will obtain their friendship 
and affection — and not only so, but will secure 
their assistance when you stand in need of it. It 
is related by a certain writer, that " two neigh- 
bors, one blind and the other lame, were called to 
a place at a great distance. What was to be 
5one 1 The blind man could not see, and the 
lame man could not walk ! Why, the blind man 
carried the lame one : the former assisting by his 
legs, and the other by his eyes." Here was a 
reciprocity of good offices, mutually beneficial. 
In the " Hotel des Invalids," of Paris, an asylum 
for the wreck of the Imperial armies of France, 
it is said that an old blind soldier is often seen 
holding a book for a companion who has lost his 
arms, who reads aloud for the edification of both. 
By this mutual kindness, the misfortunes of both 
are, to a great extent, remedied. " Mankind are 
so much indebted to each other," says Duclos, 
"that they owe mutual attention." 

However prosperous may be our present con- 
dition, we are all subject to misfortune, and may, 
ere long, stand in need of the assistance of others. 
And in this condition, who the most readily and 



196 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

promptly receives the aid of his fellow-citizens ; 
the man whose former life has been characterized 
by a niggardly, uncharitable disposition — whose 
ear had always been deaf, and his hand closed to 
the supplications of distress — or he who has been 
generous, open-hearted, kind, and benevolent 1 
This inquiry is immediately answered in your 
minds. In community, the man of shining talents 
is admired — he who is upright and honest, is re- 
spected — but the kind, obliging neighbor is loved! 
He is surrounded by a host of friends, without 
having an enemy. 

The power of kindness in overcoming opposi- 
tion, and in subduing enemies, is immense. It is 
related that a father, who had a stubborn and re- 
fractory son, resorted to every severe measure in 
his power to reform him, but without avail. In 
vain he again and again applied the rod — the only 
perceptible effect was to harden him in his wilful- 
ness. At length the father became discouraged — 
in his despair the rod dropped from his hand — he 
burst into a flood of tears, and bewailed the stub- 
born sinfulness of his child. Instantly the heart 
of the son was pierced as with a dart of fire — with 
quivering lips and streaming eyes, he exclaimed, 
" Whip me, father ! do whip me as much as you 
will ; but don't cry !" Behold the power of kind- 
ness. The boy who could look with unflinching 
nerve upon the uplifted rod, was subdued into 
submission in a moment, by a gush of tender af- 
fection I Hence we perceive the wisdom and phi- 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 197 

losophy of the Saviour's commandment : " Love 
your enemies." Instead of retaliating upon your 
enemies, and endeavoring in all ways to injure 
them, which would cause their hatred to burn 
still more fiercely, love them — exhibit toward 
them no emotions but those of kindness and good 
■will. A perseverance in this course, will most 
certainly destroy their enmity, overcome their 
opposition, and gain their friendship. It is upon 
these sound principles that the public ambassador 
of the Gospel of the Redeemer, who has an en- 
lightened view of his duties, and who appreciates 
the true spirit and intent of the Gospel, depends, 
in turning the sinner from the error of his way. 
He displays the love of God — the impartial and 
boundless beneficence and kindness which exists 
in his bosom towards all his creatures — and de- 
pends far more upon the influences of this display 
of goodness in arresting the transgressor in his 
course, and reforming his disposition, than upon 
the threatenings of the law. The massive ice 
presents a stubborn resistance to the assaults of 
man to remove it ; but under the influence of the 
genial warmth of the rays of the sun, it freely and 
gently melts and disappears. It is said of the 
celebrated Bishop Cranmer, that whoever did him, 
an injury, was almost sure of receiving some fa- 
vor from him. There was true philosophy in this 
course. 

" Nature has given man a full suit of armor 
against his foes — an armor easy to be worn, and 
17* 



198 GENERAL DEMEx\NOR. 

ready at hand. It is the panoply of kindness* 
This is a sure protection against rage and vio- 
lence, and revenge. It not only defends him who 
wears it, but subdues his adversaries. Physical 
force may be resisted — cunning may be met with 
cunning — but there is no withstanding the power 
of kindness. He who keeps this armor bright by 
use, need not fear the threats, or the fury, or the 
malice of others. He would not be more safe 
were he enclosed in walls of brass. The ill-will 
of an, enemy can not be torn away by the tempest 
of violence ; but it can be melted by the bright 
beams of kindness. ' If thine enemy hunger, 
feed him ; if he thirst, give him drink : for in so 
doing, thou shall heap coals of jfire on his head.' "* 
Good humor is a disposition which young men 
should endeavor to infuse into their general de- 
meanor. He who is sour, ill-natured, and petu* 
lant, is a pest to himself, his friends, if he has 
any, and all with whom he mingles. He is liable 
to gain the dislike of all, and his company is 
avoided, as a kind of fire-brand, calculated to set 
into a blaze every thing around him. But by 
cultivating a spirit of good humor — which is easy 
to be pleased, overlooks trifling vexations, and in- 
fuses upon the countenance a complacent smile, 
instead of a dark frown — you will have a source 
of self-satisfaction, your presence will be agreea- 
ble, and your company will be sought after. It 
should be your endeavor to avoid all outbreakings 
* Counsels to tlie Young. 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 199 

of anget and rage. Anger is much like a maga- 
zine of powder — if permitted to ignite and ex- 
plode, it will most surely blow to atoms your own 
happiness, for the time being, and also be very 
liable to injure that of the persons near you. 
During paroxysms of anger words are uttered and 
actions performed, often of the most ridiculous 
and reprehensible character, and of which you 
will afterward become most heartily ashamed. 
The advice given by Athenodorus the philoso- 
pher, to Augustus Cesar, is of great value : " Re- 
member, Cesar, whenever you are angry, that you 
neither say nor do any thing, before you have re- 
peated to yourself the twenty-four letters of the 
alphabet." This admirable rule, or something of 
alike character, should be adopted by every young 
man, as a kind of safety-valve, that will permit 
the first rush of angry feelings to pass off, before 
they induce any improper action. 

I cannot refrain from again urging young men 
to frequent the company of virtuous females. It 
will impart gracefulness, urbanity, and polish to 
their general demeanor — a purity, modesty, and 
propriety to their conversation and manners— 
which they can not obtain elsewhere. No maiij 
except he possesses feelings of a brutish nature^ 
can fail to become more exalted and refined, by 
often mingling in female company, where modes- 
ty and enlightened virtue prevails. 

In conclusion, remember that " gentility is nei* 
ther in birth, fortune, manner, nor fashion, but 



200 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

in mind ! A high sense of honor — a determina- 
tion never to take a mean advantage of another — 
an adherence to truth, delicacy, and politeness, 
towards those with whom you mingle, or may 
have dealings — are the essential and distinguish- 
ing characteristics of a gentleman." 



CHAPTER VIII. 



CULTIVATING THE MIND, 



That there is a striking distinction between 
the capabilities of mankind and those of animals, 
is a self-evident truth. The cause of this vast 
disparity, consists in the endowments bestowed 
by the creative Hand, for the guidance of the 
different races. Instinct is the highest capacity 
possessed by the brutes. Through its influences, 
they are enabled to obtain food for the sustenance 
of the body, and also to take measures to secure 
themselves from threatening danger. These be- 
ing the only wants of the animal races, the pow- 
ers of instinct are amply sufficient to afford every 
needed supply ; and the Creator has thus granted 
them all they can ask in consistency with their 
nature and scale of being. But man has been 
endowed with the higher and more diversified 
powers of Mind. These crown him lord of this 
world — these form the grand, and indeed, the 
only distinction between him and the brute 
world — these enable him not only to supply aU 

201 



202 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

the wants of his body, but also to rule over the 
animal creation, and convert them to his purposes. 

The human mind, who can describe ? — who 
can fathom its capabilities ? — who can measure 
its mighty powers ? — who can mark the limit of 
its upward flight toward infinite Perfection ? 
Wonderful faculties ! which annihilate time, and 
enable us to live in a moment, as it were, through 
a thousand ages of the recorded Past, or of the 
imagined Future ! Inscrutable powers ! which 
enable us to overleap space, and in an instant, to 
traverse the earth from pole to pole, and from 
meridian run the vast circle to meridian ! — which 
enable us to soar aloft to the bright stars of heav- 
en, and to stray from planet to planet, and from 
system to system, throughout the azure fields of 
ether ! Incomprehensible mind ! guided by faith, 
on swift expanded wing, it can urge its flight up, 
far, far up, through illimitable extent, and bow in 
gratitude and love before the very throne of om- 
nipotent Goodness ! 

What has not been accomplished by the hu- 
man mind? It has not only sought out means by 
which every luxury has been procured for the 
body — it has not only improved and expanded its 
own powers, and elevated the human race from 
ignorance and barbarity, to civilization and the 
possession of an immensity of knowledge — but it 
has made the elements its servants ; it has pene- 
trated deep into the properties and operations of 
nature's laws, and ascertained to no inconsidera- 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 203 

ble extent, the perfect principles upon which the 
Mighty One upholds and directs the works of his 
hand ! Yet, amid all its deep researches, amid 
all its surprising discoveries, the mind has not yet 
fathomed its own wonderful capabilities; it can 
not yet even conceive of the unmeasured extent, 
the vast height and depth, the length and breadth, 
verging to infinity, of the knowledge its far-reach- 
ing powers are capable of grasping ! Truly has 
man been created in the image of his God — truly 
is his intellect a transcript, an emanation, of the 
Infinite Mind ! 

Young men, should the powers of that heaven- 
ly mind with which you have been endowed, be 
overlooked, neglected, forgotten ? With the in- 
valuable cluster of mental faculties which you 
possess, and which only need exercise, to gush- 
forth in streams of pure, high, holy enjoyment, 
will you pass them by, as unworthy your atten- 
tion, and join with the brute, in a career of low, 
bodily gratification 1 Every manly and enno^ 
bling impulse within you, cries out against such 
a dishonorable course I 

There is not only a wide distinction between 
the powers of instinct and of mind, but also in 
their natures. In instinct there is no perceptible 
improvement. All its powers are imparted at 
once. The bird builds its nest, the bee seeks its 
delicious nectar, the beaver constructs its hut and 
its dam, with the same unerring precision on the 
first efibrtj as after years of practice. Neither i» 



204 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

there any improvement in iheir races. The bir^ 
the bee, the beaver, indeed all animals, perform 
their various avocations with no more perfection 
now, than when they came forth from the ark of 
Noah. Instinct, it is true, is susceptible of a 
very limited improvement in some animals, when 
aided by man's reason. But it does not possess 
within itself, the least power of improvement. 
But the mind of man is constituted on principles 
entirely different. Of all living beings, none, 
probably, are more ignorant and helpless, than 
the new-born infant. The barking whelp of the 
same age, evinces much more knowledge, than 
the feeble offspring of man, a few days or weeks 
old. But in that cradled nursling slumber the 
faculties and energies of a mighty mind, which, 
under proper cultivation, can be improved to an 
extent now incomprehensible! Thus instinct 
exercises its power without cultivation ; but man 
must improve and exercise his mental faculties, 
before he can enjoy the high advantages they are 
capable of bestowing. 

The Creator has seen proper so to constitute 
the human mind, that it much resembles the rioh 
soil of a garden. When destitute of cultivation, 
it will be overgrown by the weeds and briars of 
ignorance — useless in themselves, and the source 
of great evil — with here and there, perhaps, a 
sickly plant of knowledge, struggling for exist- 
ence, amid choking thorns and thistles. And the 
more powerful tlie natural capabilities of minds 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 205 

in such state, the greater the evils flowing from 
a want of culture, as the richest soil shoots up the 
rankest weeds. To be duly benefited by the 
elevated capabilities with which the Creator has 
endowed man, the soil of the mind must be prop- 
perly tilled ; the weeds and brambles must be ex- 
terminated, root and branch. And not only so, 
but the seeds of knowledge must be sown — the 
tender plants, as they spring up, must be nursed, 
and watered, and warmed into a vigorous growth, 
by instruction and reflection, and all the numer- 
ous aids that abound. In this manner the tree of 
knowledge will grow and enlarge ; its branches 
will expand, and, ere long, be clothed with^beau- 
tiful blossoms ; and in due time, a rich and pre- 
cious harvest of invaluable wisdom, will be the 
reward of these, labors. 

The mind will not remain dormant and idle. 
If its energies and cap'abilities are not summoned 
to the acquisition of useful knowledge, they will 
submit to the dictation of ignorance and supersti- 
tion, and under their control, will become loaded 
with those dark and erroneous conceptions, which 
are the fruitful source of unspeakable evil. If 
the intellectual capacities are not sufficiently cul- 
tivated and enlightened to be your master, to con- 
trol and direct you, they will become powerful 
assistants to evil propensities — if they are not led 
to the aid of virtue and truth, they will volunteer 
in the service of sin and error ; m their blindness 
they will marshal the passions in battle array, 



206 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

and lead them on to the attack of every thing vir- 
tuous and commendable, and to the destruction ol 
every pure, rational, and proper source of enjoy- 
ment. 

It is a law of our bodily and mental nature, as 
now constituted, that no good can be obtained 
no real benefit secured, no proper enjoyment ex- 
perienced, without a corresponding exertion to 
procure it. Hence, if you make no effort to cul- 
tivate the mind and improve your faculties, you 
will remain in ignorance, and be compelled to 
experience all the manifold evils that flow from 
ignorance. But to secure all the advantages and 
all the enjoyments of an enlightened intellect, 
you must summon industry and perseverance to 
your aid, and properly cultivate the powers God 
has given you. 

Are there not, then, young men, inducements 
abounding, sufficient to urge you to a proper cul- 
tivation of the mind ? Let me direct your atten- 
tion to a ^ew further considerations. A mind 
properly cultivated, becomes the source of much 
unalloyed enjoyment. The bacchanalian over 
his cups — the debauchee in his revels — the un- 
principled in their career of crime — sometimes 
experience fleeting sensations, which they denom- 
inate enjoynaent. But these, at best, are but mo- 
ments of fitful excitement, that can not properly 
be dignified by the name of happiness. They 
are, in reality, evils disguised in those alluring 
robes which decoy their dupes to certain wretch- 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 207 

edness — and millions of miserable victims, can 
testify from experience, that at last, they "bite 
like a serpent, and sting like an adder." These 
delusive excitements are truly represented by the 
book of the Revelator, which was sweet in the 
mouth, but bitter, bitter, in the stomach ! Why 
should rational beings seek those misnamed pleas- 
ures, that are invariably followed by more than 
an equal amount of pain and wretchedness? es- 
pecially, when there are numerous sources of 
happiness within their reach, without any of this 
alloy ! 

The enjoyments springing from a well culti- 
vated mind, are exalted and exquisite in nature, 
without any intermixture of succeeding unhappi- 
ness. They flow from fountains entirely discon- 
nected from, and elevated above, the passions, and 
are not, therefore, subject to their fluctuations. 
Compare the pleasures of the student with those 
of the profligate. The student goes on in acqui- 
sition, from truth to truth, obtaining clearer and 
brighter views of the wonderful lav7s of science 
and of nature, and the amazing displays of infi- 
nite wisdom which abound. He perceives every 
where, the utmost knowledge and perfection at 
work, adapting means to produce wise and benev- 
olent ends. He obtains an understanding of the 
curious in art, and the wonderful in philosophy. 
And as his mind expands and his Avisdom increases, 
in these researches, a pure stream of enjoyment 
pours into his heart, with an influence sweet as 



208 CULTIVATING THE MIND, 

the dews of Hermon. These pleasures are unal- 
loyed — they never satiate the appetite — they cause 
no disease, pain, or decrepitude — but they in- 
crease in delight as they increase in abundance ! 
But not so with the profligate. The more he in- 
dulges in what he calls his pleasures, the deeper 
he sinks in corruption and degradation — the of- 
tener he gives way to his unbridled passions, the 
less power do they possess of bestowing enjoy- 
ment, the greater is the pain they induce, and the 
more entirely does he become their slave — until 
every sense is palled, every taste is blunted, every 
source of rational gratification is destroyed ; and 
he goes downward to the grave, a miserable, de- 
crepid, idiotic caricature of humanity ! 

A cultivated mind, is one of the most important 
requisites in obtaining a respectable standing in 
society. The least degree of discrimination will 
satisfy you of the truth of this assertion. Who 
are respected in community ? — who move in the 
highest circles? — who are selected to fill stations 
of trust, of responsibility, and honor ? Your own 
experience will testify that they are men of culti- 
vated minds. In this land of republican equality, 
there are no privileged orders, no feudal system, 
to foist men into stations for which they are un- 
fitted. But he who would rise to distinction here, 
must depend upon his own resources — must as- 
cend by his own merits and capabilities. In this 
land, the truth of the poet's words are fully ex- 
emplified— 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 209 

*' Honor and fame, from no condition rise: 
Act well your part— iAe?-e all the honor lies." 

And need I say, that to " act well your part," in 
this enlightened age and country, a cultivated 
mind is indispensable ? Without it, your pros- 
pects of elevation and honor, are dark and un- 
promising. You can not reasonably expect to rise 
above the rank you now occupy, without a dili- 
gent application to the enlightenment of the mind. 

A cultivated mind is essential to insure pros- 
perity in any circumstances. There is no proper 
profession, occupation, or calling in which men 
engage, where an enlightened mind will not di- 
rectly tend to prosperity. " Knowledge is pow- 
er." He who possesses knowledge, has resources 
at his command to aid in every undertaking, of 
which the ignorant man is wholly deprived. 
Compare those who have been successful in life — 
who have arisen from obscurity to fame, from 
poverty to wealth — with those who have always 
remained in obscurity, or have been reduced from 
wealth to poverty, and, as a general rule, you will 
discover that while the former are men who have 
cultivated their minds, the latter are ignorant and 
unlettered. 

In cultivating the mind, three things are neces- 
sary to insure successful progress, viz., applica- 
tion, industry, and perseverance. Whatever may 
be your condition in life, by calling these to 
your aid, your can hardly fail of succeeding, to 
the extent of your aspirations. Are you wealthy, 
18* 



810 CULTlVATlNtS THE MIND. 

and surrounded by numerous advantages ? Still 
■without industrious application, you can make no 
improvement, no progress. A score of tutors 
may attend you without avail, unless you call 
your own energies into activity. They can not 
study for you, or think or learn for you. You 
must do this for yourself, or remain in ignorance ; 
you must severely task the powers of your own 
mind, or continue under all the disadvantages of 
a want of cultivation. Are you poor? — destitute 
of means and advantages ? These circumstances 
should not discourage you. A resolution nobly 
and firmly formed, to triiimph over the difficulties 
that surround you, and sustained by industry and 
perseverance, will make you almost any thing you 
choose to be. A poor stammering boy of ancient 
Greece, resolved to become an orator, although 
to appearance, wholly unfitted to succeed in his 
determination. But for him, application and per- 
severance did every thing. With untiring indus- 
try, he cultivated his mind. In the caves of the 
mountains, and beside the boisterous ocean, he 
trained his powers, until success crowned his ef- 
forts. Even m those days of eloquence, he 
charmed and astonished all Greece, and transmit- 
ted the name of Demosthenes, to the latest gen- 
erations of men. The celebrated Dr. Alexander 
Murray, was the son of a poor shepherd in Scot- 
land. He learned his alphabet from the board of 
an old wool-card, whereon his father marked the 
letters with the burnt end of a root taken from the 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 211 

fire. From this humble condition, by an indus- 
trious and unwearied cultivation of the mind, he 
arose to an eminence as a scholar, to Mrhich few- 
can expect to attain ! Many instances might be 
cited in our own land, where, by application to 
mental culture, men have arisen from obscurity 
to eminence and renown. Thus poverty, an hum- 
ble origin, or disadvantageous circumstances, need 
not be an insurmountable obstacle to the cultiva- 
tion of the mind, or to an elevation in respecta- 
bility and public esteem. 

In cultivating the mind, you should exercise a 
proper command over its powers. There is no 
habit more fatal to rapid improvement, than to 
permit the attention of the mind to be distracted 
by a variety of objects. You should sway suffi- 
cient control over the mental faculties, to concen- 
trate them at will, on any given subject, until you 
have become acquainted with its properties. And 
when your attention is directed to the acquisition 
of any particular branch of knowledge, let it be 
the object of all your energies and labors, until 
it is fully attained, and stored safely m the re* 
pository of wisdom. 

Patience is necessary in improving the mind. 
There are many discouraging circumstances at- 
tending even the most successful students. But 
patience will enable you to triumph over every 
•difficulty. Patience will dig down mountains and 
fill up valleys— it will enable the simple to become 
enlightened, and the enlightened to excel m wis- 



212 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

dom. You should not be frightened at perplex- 
ing and knotty points in your studies. Some 
minds are inclined to slide easily around such ob- 
siructions, and travel on in ignorance of their 
merits. This is a deleterious practice, and to be 
especially avoided. Look every question fairly 
in the face — attack it manfully and vigorously — 
penetrate thoroughly to its foundations — and all 
its mysteries will soon be unfolded to your com- 
prehension. In this manner you will not only 
secure the knowledge enclosed in the difficult 
point, but will exercise and train the mind into 
increased strength and power. 

A frequent recourse to the instructions of the 
aged, is a valuable and pleasant method of im- 
provement. The aged have for many years been 
collecting wisdom, both theoretically and practi 
cally ; and they are happy to impart to the young 
from their fund of information. Much practical 
instruction can, therefore, be gathered from the 
conversation of the aged. But they must be per- 
mitted to proceed In their own way. They will 
relate scenes they have participated in, describe 
sights they have witnessed, experiments they have 
Been tried, and theories that they have beheld 
tested. In these narrations, you will hear many 
wise sayings and aphorisms — much useful infor- 
mation, interlarded with adventure and anecdote ; 
you will hear relations delineating the workings 
of human passions, evincing the evils of igno- 
rance, the wretchedness flowing from error, the 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 213 

folly of indulging in sinfulness, the misery and 
pain which it invariably entails upon itsvotaries, 
and the wisdom of walking without deviation in 
the path of virtue, probity, and temperance. In 
thus unloading their minds to the young, the aged 
are capable of imparting lessons abounding in the 
rich instructions of precept and example. 



CHAPTER IX. 

ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 

In his physical creation, the Deity has estab- 
lished causes which operate with unswerving cer- 
tainty — which invariably produce the same effect. 
A certain degree of heat will always burn — and a 
certain amount of cold, as certainly, will always 
freeze. The Creator has also established moral 
laws for the government of the human race, which 
are as sure in their operations, and as undevialmg 
in their effects, as his natural laws ; although their 
movements and influences are not so evident to 
the eye of the spectator. Fire will no more cer- 
tainly burn, than will a vicious action, sooner or 
later, cause unhappiness to him who is guilty of 
it. This principle in morals is as immutably 
fixed, as the pillars of Jehovah's throne. And 
when this important truth of the certainty of 
punishment for every wilful violation of the mor- 
al law of God — a truth which runs through the 
whole extent of the Scriptures, and which is tes- 
tified to by the experience of all ages — is believed 

214 



ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 215 

and settled in the heart, there will be no more 
inducement to commit a known crime, than to 
•walk into the burning flame ! 

Young men, do you believe these propositions 1 
do you believe there is a just and certain punish- 
ment awaiting you, for every deed that is morally 
wrong ? — and a punishment, too, from which there 
is no escape? — If you do not — if you imagine 
that immorality of any character will make you 
happy, and that you can escape tne evil conse- 
quences flowing from it — you are truly in a pitia- 
ble condition — you are treading a dangerous 
path — you are under the sway of a delusion, 
which, beyond all possibility of doubt, will lead 
you into pain, and grief and wretchedness. But 
if your minds have become sufficiently enlight- 
ened to adopt the belief, sanctioned by divine 
revelation and the whole history of our race, that 
moral guilt of every description, is the cause of 
certain unhappiness and degradation, you have 
adopted a wise opinion; and if faithfully adhered 
to and practiced, it will save you from the most 
fruitful sources of earthly wretchedness. 

With these reflections in view, you will per- 
ceive the necessity of establishing, at the outset 
of life, certain fixed principles of moral conduct, 
to which you will rigidly adhere in all your in- 
tercourse with the world. These principles will, 
of course, be of a character corresponding to the 
career which you desire to run through life. If 
it is your inclination and ambition to mingle with 



216 ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES; 

the vicious and depraved — to become a miseraMcy 
degraded, despised outcast — a bloated, deformed, 
diseased libel upon the form and name of man — 
a moving pestilence, a stench in the nostrils of 
community — the object of the scorn, and contempt, 
and disgust of the virtuous of your fellow-be- 
ings — if these are the circumstances to which 
you aspire, you will adopt your principles accord- 
ingly J you will determine to be unprincipled, 
vicious, intemperate, profane, cruel and revenge- 
ful — and your desired degradation will speedily 
and unavoidably follow. But if, more wisely,, 
you are ambitious to obtain the good will of soci- 
ety — to become respected, loved, honored — to be 
successful in your business undertakings, and to 
receive the aid of friends in times of need — if 
you desire to possess that peace of mind, that 
calm satisfaction and complacency, which form 
the foundation of all true happiness — you must 
adopt principles of a corresponding nature — 
principles directly the reverse of those above 
enumerated. Remember that a good standing in 
society — a character of respectability — can never 
be obtained by an adherence to vicious principles. 
The one is entirely incompatible with the other — 
is as impossible in the very nature of things, as 
for the streams of water to rush back to their 
fountains. 

I repeat, you must choose and adopt the pritt- 
ciples by which you would be governed— you 
must establish them in the heart, lay them uo m 



ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 217 

the mind, as landmarks for future direction, 
" When an author has stood a thorough exami- 
nation, and will bear to be taken as a guide, I put 
him on the shelf. When I have fully made up 
my mind on the correctness and value of a. prin- 
ciple, I put it on the shelf of the mind. A hun- 
dred subtle objections may be brought against this 
principle ; a hundred temptations to violate it; I 
may meet with some of them, perhaps ; but my 
principle is on the shelf. Generally I may be 
able to recall the reasons which weighed with me 
to put it there ; but if not, I am not to be sent 
out to sea again. Time was when I saw through 
and detected all the subtleties that could be 
brought against it. I have past evidence of hav- 
ing been fully convinced ; and there on the shelf 
it shall be." 

I can not refrain from enumerating two or three 
important moral principles, which every wise 
young man should adopt and adhere to. Have 
you formed the resolution to pursue a course in 
life which shall secure the respect, the esteem 
and confidence of community at large? It is a 
noble, manly resolve : and of itself is one good 
step towards success in its completion. Let me 
say to you, that — 

Honesty is one of the first and most important 
principles to be adopted, to secure this end. That 
" honesty is the best policy," is a proverb univer- 
sally allowed to be true. Never swerve from the 
teachings of this proverb, even in the most trivial 

19 



218 ESTABLISHING HXED PRINCIPLES. 

degree, on any occasion, however trying. When 
you are assailed by temptation to defraud another, 
stop one moment and reflect — call to mind the 
above maxim and reason with yourself: " ]f hon- 
esty is the best policy, then dishonesty in any re- 
spect, is had policy — the loorst policy — and, will 
in one way or another, result to my final injury.' 
The tendency of such reflections, will be to ena- 
ble you to withstand the temptation and preserve 
your integrity. "No one ever did a designed in- 
jury to another, without doing a greater to him- 
self." These are words of truth; and were they 
engraven upon every heart, and made to influence 
every mind, how much iniquity would they pre- 
vent ! A dishonest action will revert upon the 
head of its author, with tenfold vengeance. He 
who cheats another, cheats himself far more deep- 
ly than his victim. He defrauds his victim of 
perishable wealth ; but he defraads himself of 
that which is of more value than all the riches of 
the Indies — he defrauds himself of a good name, 
of the confidence and respect of his fellow-beings, 
and of that peace of mind, the absence of which, 
is continued torture. A man in business wars 
against his own welfare in defrauding his cus- 
tomers — in taking a mean advantage of the igno- 
rance of those who are so circumstanced as not 
to know the true value of articles. His acts of 
this nature, can not long remain concealed — he is 
soon detected ; and cormiiunity place a mark 
upon him, as dark, and deep, and enduring as 



ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 219 

itiat upon the brow of Cain. Public confidence 
being lost, his business dwindles away, his cus- 
tomers forsake him, and when it is too late, he 
finally perceives the imperishable truth of the 
motto — "honesty is the best policy." Conceal- 
ing or misrepresenting the market price of arti- 
cles — selling goods or any property, as perfect, 
which is unsound, or concealing the defects of 
what is disposed of — are all dishonest and dis- 
honorable practices, that will result vastly more 
to your injury than your benefit. Never be guilty 
of them, as you value your true peace and pros- 
perity. 

Poetry never uttered a more evident truth, than 
tliat which runs in the following line — 

"An honest man 's the noblest work of God." 

The title of an honest man, is more to be coveted 
than any that can be conferred by the favor of 
royalty. And when we lie down in the grave, 
could there truly be inscribed upon the slab which 
marks our resting place, the epitaph — " Here rest 
the remains of an Honest Man''' — it would be 
a memento far more honorable than the proudly 
swelling cenotaph, or the lofty pyramid. 

Veracity is another principle which should be 
firmly fixed in the mind. A love of truth, with 
an inflexible adherence to its guidance, on all oc- 
casions, is one of the most noble characteristics 
than can adorn humanity. But what is more mi- 
manly and contemptible, than the habitual utter- 
ance of falsehoods 1 He who is addicted to this 



220 ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 

dishonorable practice, soon gains a reputation far 
from being enviable or desirable — he is ranked ir) 
that class who are " not to be believed when they 
speak the truth." Avoid this habit as ungentle- 
manly and wicked — as only calculated to bring 
upon you the distrust and disrespect of society. 
While its mark is upon you, no one will confide 
in you or esteem you. Let all your communica- 
tions be characterized by strict truth and integrity. 
A name well established for veracity, will minis- 
ter much to your enjoyments, both in a moral and 
a pecuniary pomt of view. 

Benevolence should also be established, as one 
of the leading principles of your character. This 
heavenly characteristic is enjoined by religion, 
morality and the condition of mankind. In every 
community, there are the rich and the poor — the 
prosperous and the unfortunate — those who are 
surrounded by plenty, and those who are pinched 
by want. Should your condition fortunately be 
the former, forget not those who are involved in 
the difficulties of the latter; but impart to them 
a portion of your means, and your kindness will 
not go unrewarded. 

By benevolence I do not mean the giving alone 
to some mammoth institution, or the support of 
some popular scheme whose field of labor is far 
distant. It is to be feared that improper motives 
induce too many to bestow their means on these 
projects, and that there is more wrong feeling in- 
dulged in Lhus giving, than in withholding. The 



ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. '221 

benevolence which I would particularly recom- 
mend, is more of a home character — more of a 
domestic virtue. It is that emotion of pity and 
kindness, by which your ear will be open to the 
petition of distress at your own door, and your 
hand be made ready to relieve the wants of the i 
poor in your immediate vicinity ! These should 
be attended to Jii^st. If you still possess the 
means, you can then widen the circle of your be- 
nevolence. And permit me to say, that even a 
little, given to hush the orphan's wail and dry 
the widow's tears — to cause the smile of plenty 
to pervade the abodes of penury and want — is a 
sacrifice upon the altar of benevolence, the in- 
cense of which will arise far higher toward the 
throne of infinite Goodness, than thousands pub- 
licly lavished upon some popular scheme, to ac- 
complish you know not what ! Allow benevo- 
lence to be your pervading characteristic — be the 
friend of the friendless, the protector of the weak 
and defenceless, the patron of the deserving 
poor — and you will realise how sweet is the truth 
of the Scripture declaration — " It is more blessed 
to give, than to receive." 
19"^ 



CHAPTER X. 

STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 

The minds of men differ in no respect more 
wide, than in stability of purpose. While some 
are stable and firm, their movements characterised 
by cautiousness and decision, others are equally 
remarkable for lack of foresight and firmness — 
incapable of forming a decision from patient re- 
search and investigation, and unable to abide by 
any decision, however formed, for any reasonable 
length of time. This latter failing is very un- 
fortunate. " A man without decision, can never 
be said to belong to himself; since, if he dared 
to assert that he did, the puny force of some cause, 
about as powerful, you would have supposed, as 
a spider, may make a capture of the hapless 
boaster the very next moment, and triumphantly 
exhibit the futility of the determinations by which 
he was to have proved the independence of his 
understanding and his will. He belongs to what- 
ever can seize him ; and innumerable things do 
actually verify their claim on him, and arrest 

222 



STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 223 

him as he tries to go along; as twigs and chips, 
floating near the edge of a river, are intercepted 
by every weed, and whirled in every little eddy. 
Having concluded on a design, he may, pledge 
himself to accomplish it — if the hundred diver- 
sities of feeling which may come within the 
week, will let him. As his character precludes 
all foresight of his conduct, he may sit and won- 
der what form and direction his views and ac- 
tions are destined to take to-morrow ; as a farmer 
has often to acknowledge the next day's pro- 
ceedings are at the disposal of its winds and 
clouds."* 

How often do we discover people of this char- 
acter — generally denominated " fickle minded." 
They are seldom satisfied with their present con- 
dition or employment — preferring almost any 
other situation to the one they happen to occupy, 
and any other business to that in which they are 
engaged. Their minds are usually filled with 
some new and wonderful project, or employed in 
unfolding some magnificent discovery, which they 
believe will astonish the world, and bring inex- 
haustible wealth into their possession. Such 
people are generally industrious — not, however, 
in that steady application to useful business, 
which will in time yield a certain reward — but in 
building stupendous and beautiful "castles in the 
air," which are reared this hour, only to be de- 
molished the next ! 

* Foster's Essays. 



224 STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 

The " fickle-minded" man is not satisfied with 
doing well — he is not willing to " let well alone" — 
and his mind is constantly engaged in devising 
schemes to do better ! In entering a new occu- 
pation, he looks at every thing through the me- 
dium of an ardent imagination. He believes he 
shall realise speedy and abundant wealth from his 
change of employment ; and for a season he is 
industrious and persevering. But at length the 
gildings of the imagination become effaced by 
sober reality j and when he discovers the true na- 
ture of his business — its actual advantages and 
disadvantages — it almost invariably falls short of 
his expectations ; and his industry slackens, his 
energy fails — he becomes discouraged, and aban- 
dons his occupation for some new scheme, which 
more than probably, will also flatter him for a 
season, and again end in disappointment. And 
the man " wonders how all the embarrassments in 
the world happen to meet exactly in his way, to 
place him in those situations for which he is pe- 
culiarly unadapted, and which he is also willing 
to think no other man could have acted with such 
facility or confidence. Incapable of setting up a 
firm purpose on the basis of things as they are, 
he is often employed in vain speculations on some 
different supposable state of things, which would 
have saved him from all his perplexity and irres- 
olution." People who give way to this instabili- 
ty, can not prosper to any extent. They are con- 
stantly liable to be deceived and involved in 



STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 225 

difficulty. Their sanguine temperament leads 
them to look upon impossibilities as probabili- 
ties, and upon probabilities, as certainties ! From 
this credulous, inconsistent disposition — this in- 
cessant inclination to change — this desire, while 
doing well to do much better — how many have 
been reduced from competency and fair pros- 
pects, to utter ruin and despair I 

I have already remarked that the minds of men 
naturally differ very materially in respect to firm- 
ness and stability of purpose. But a deficiency 
in these valuable qualifications, need not be an ir- 
reparable defect. It can, to a good degree, be 
remedied by proper exertion and application. 
When you become sensible that your mind is 
constitutionally inclined to fickleness and insta- 
bility — (and a little candid self-examination will 
enlighten you upon this point) — you should then 
call up all your energies to counteract this ten- 
dency — and it should be your study to strengthen 
these weak properties of the mind, by a constant 
and watchful guard upon its operations. By prop- 
er exertion, the mind can be trained into a good 
degree of firmness and decision, so that its prompt- 
ings may not be changed by every varying wind. 
By obtaining the mastery over your mental pow- 
ers, you may concentrate them upon any given 
subject within your comprehension, and search 
out its foundation, its bearings and influences, 
and ascertain the weight of the claims it has upon 
your attention. 



236 STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 

To act safely, requires you to act wisely, cau- 
tiously and firmly. You should ponder well all 
the measures you adopt. Never enter upon any 
important undertaking rashly, at the impulse of 
any fleeting emotion, but be deliberate and reflec- 
tive — examine it in all its bearings, and weigh 
well its probable results. You should not forget 
that there are always two sides in the appearance 
of every project — a bright and a dark side. Give 
yourself no labor in examining the bright side — 
for that will usually present itself in colors suf- 
ficiently attractive. But be diligent in thoroughly 
investigating the dark side of the picture. Look 
with an eye of scrutiny, at the worst aspect it can 
assume — endeavor to discover its greatest disad- 
vantages and its most remote liabilities to failure. 
On the one hand, you should not aggravate the 
appearance of difficulties, or conjure up vain and 
unreal obstacles — and neither should you neglect 
to recognize every well-grounded objection, and 
look it fairly in the face. And from all your 
means of information, deliberately form your 
judgment, as to the most proper course to pursue. 
And when you have once engaged in any honora- 
ble occupation, or entered upon any proper branch 
of business, let all instability, and fickleness, 
and doubt, be banished from the mmd — call 
into requisition all your effective powers — be 
industrious, persevering, economical, and pa- 
tient let no new visionary scheme charm 

four attention into another channel — and yoii 



STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 227 

will be on the high road that leads to prosper- 
ity. 

The mania for speculation has been the ruin of 
multitudes in our land. Those who are brought 
under the sway of its delusions, are led to despise 
the slower method of their fathers, of obtaining 
wealth by honest industry and perseverance, as 
tedious and useless ; and it is their constant study 
to devise some scheme, by which they can leap 
at once into boundless riches. This thirst for 
speculation, has been the source of immense evil 
to our country. And not the least among its evils, 
is, that it leads to the neglect of the common, yet 
most useful avocations of life — those branches of 
productive industry, upon which our general 
welfare depends — and begets not only fickleness 
of mind, but idleness, chicanery and corruption. 
Young men should beware of this rage for spec- 
ulation. Where it enriches one, it plunges a 
thousand into poverty. It seems, indeed, to be 
nothing less than a strife among a certain class, 
to defraud one another, and the public at large ; 
and therefore, the honorable and the upright can 
not with propriety engage in its excesses. The 
only laudable and safe method of acquiring 
wealth, is to engage in some occupation that 
is useful to your fellow-beings ; and if you 
are industrious, prudent, persevering and sta- 
ble-minded, you can not avoid obtaining a com- 
fortable livelihood, witt^ the prospect of secur- 
ing in due time a sufficient amount of wealth, 



223 STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 

to give you all the enjoyment that can flow from 
riches. 

The old maxim warns us not to have too many 
irons in the fire, lest some should burn. Dr. 
Clarke imagines this to be a needless caution. 
He says a man can not have too many irons in 
the fire, and that he should thrust in " shovel, 
tongs and poker." But I differ from the Doctor 
in this respect. It is true, there are minds so 
bountifully endowed, possessing so great a variety 
of powers, so much energy, discrimination, and 
elasticity, that they can successfully engage in 
various branches of business at the same time. 
But such minds are more rare than common. 
The generality of mankind will succeed far bet- 
ter by directing all their attention to one branch 
of business, than by distracting it among a vari- 
ety. It is wise, therefore, still to adhere to the 
old maxim, and beware of having too many irons 
in the fire. 

Let not the stability of your mind be shaken 
by ill-luck or by misfortunes. " Don't be dis- 
couraged, if in the outset of life, things do not 
go on smoothly. It seldom happens that the 
hopes we cherish of the future are realized. The 
path of life in the prospect, appears smooth and 
level enough ; but when we come to travel it, we 
find it all up hill, and generally rough enough. 
The journey is a laborious one, and whether poor 
or wealthy, high or lo»^, we shall find it to our 
disappointment if we build on another calcula- 



BTABILITY OF PURfOSE. 229 

tion. To endure what is to be endured, with as 
much cheerfulness as possible, and to elbow our 
way as easily as we can through tlie great crowd, 
hoping for little, yet striving for much, is perhaps 
the true plan. But don't be discouraged, if oc- 
casionally you slip doivn by the way, and your 
neighbors tread over you a lirtle — in other words, 
don't let a failure or two dishearten you. Acci- 
dents happen — miscalculations will sometimes be 
made — things will turn out differently from our 
expectations, and we may be sufferers. It is 
worth while to remember that fortune is like the 
skies in April, sometimes cloudy, and sometimes 
clear and favorable: and as it would be folly to 
despair of again seeing the sun, because to-day it 
is stormy, so it is unwise to sink into desponden- 
cy when fortune frowns : since in the common 
course of things, she may surely be expected to 
smile again. Don't be discouraged, under' any 
circumstances. Go steadly forward. Rather 
consult your own conscience, than the opinions 
of men, though the last are not to be disregarded. 
Be industrious; be frugal; be honest; deal in, 
perfect kindness with all, exercising a neighbor- 
ly and obliging spirit in your whole intercourse ; 
and if you do not prosper as rapidly as any of 
your neighbors, depend upon it, you will be as 
happy."* 

* Monthly Repository, 
20 



CHAPTER XI. 



POLITICS. 



I DEEM it not improper, in addressing young 
men, to make a few observations respecting poli- 
tics. It is well for the stability of our republican 
institutions, tiiat the people are divided into par- 
ties. This leads to a strict scrutiny of our public 
functionaries — to the exposition of their faults and 
a commendation of their wisdom and virtue — and 
all this has a tendency to keep them faithful in 
the discharge of their duties. 

There are two prominent evils in regard to poli- 
tics, against which young men should be upon 
their guard. The first, is the changing from par- 
ty to party, for the purpose of obtaining popular 
applause, or office, or emolument. Such con- 
duct betrays an entire destitution of moral prin- 
ciple and rectitude. If you adopt these motives 
as the basis of your political bias and proceedings, 
it is quite certain, although you may be success- 
ful for a season, that your object will eventually 
be discovered .your character and influence will be 

230 



POLITICS. 231 

lost, and all parties will despise and neglect you. 
A shuffling, time-serving demagogue, a political 
weathercock, veering in the direction of every 
wind that blows, without regard to principle, is a 
most despicable character j unworthy the privi- 
leges of a freeman. 

The other evil to which I allude, is upon the 
contrary extreme— a blind and servile adherence 
to party— ^.n infatuation, hy which every meas- 
ure, however dangerous, is supported, that is dic- 
tated by the leaders, the wire-pullers of theparty^ 
and every principle, however valuable and salu- 
tary, opposed and contemned, whenever they give 
the signal— an infatuation, under the degrading 
influence of which, men abandon their birth-right 
of freedom of opinion, and are willing to see with 
the eyes, and hear with the ears, and understand 
with the judgment of those whom they permit 
to lead them. This servility to party tactics, par- 
ty measures and party men, is an evil greatly to 
be deprecated. It is rife with dangers — dangers 
that reach the very vitals of our free institutions. — 
Should the day ever arrive when this degrading 
party servitude becomes general, when it winds 
its enslaving chains around the great mass of the 
people, the sun of this Republic will wane to the 
horizon, and early set in clouds and darkness. 

In former years, it was the fortune of the writer 
of these chapters, to be engrossed to no inconsid- 
erable degree, in the political strifes of the day. 
From the peculiarly favorable opportunities which 



232 POLITICS. 

I then enjoyed of judging the designs and motives 
of political leaders^ I became fully satisfied, that 
the degrading principle of servility to party meas- 
ures, is designedly diffused through community, 
by interested men for their personal aggrandize- 
ment — and that the strife, and clamor, and bitter 
acrimony that convulses society at the approach 
of important elections, is caused mainly by the 
struggle between the "t?zs" and the "outs" — be- 
tween those who are m office and wish to keep in^ 
and those who are out and desire to get in I Were 
it not for the contentions of these two classes, the 
clangor of political battle would be hushed, and 
the people would calmly and peaceably adopt the 
proper measures to continue our institutions in 
their purity, and keep the wheels of government 
in well balanced motion. Young men should 
be aware of these things, that they may "see 
through" the sophistical and bombastic declama- 
tion of political demagogues. "Measures and 
not men," was the motto of the founders of our 
Republic ; and it still remains the popular cry of 
all parties. But it requires only a single glance at 
the proceedings of politicians at the present day, 
to discover that, with too many of them, this 
maxim has become reversed — and their great ob- 
ject is men and not measures ! 

It devolves upon the young men who are now 
coming upon the stage of action, to arrest the 
progress of this growing evil, and to diffuse abroad 
a love for political independence and purity. To 



POLITICS. 233 

this end, allow me to urge every young man whose 
eye rests upon these lines, not to attach himself 
so strongly to any party, that he can not without 
improper bias, exercise that privilege of deciding 
for himself upon the propriety or impropriety of 
principles and measures, which is the invaluable 
legacy bequeathed to us by our fathers ! Avoid all 
party chains and shackles, and all 'party measures, 
that are not plainly and strictly for the benefit 
of the whole body of the people — all attach- 
ments to men and names — every thing that can 
have a tendency to blind the judgment or deaden 
the love for principle. Understand me — I do not 
object to political parties. In a Republic like this, 
there must be parties while men continue to differ 
honestly in opinion. But I object to that degra- 
ding attachment to party, by which the judgment 
is so blinded as to consider the interest of the 
party paramount to all other interests — that dan- 
gerous infatuation, which says — " the party must 
be sustained, at all hazards /" Let it be your 
highest ambition to be a republican, in the broad 
and true acceptation of that word — a lover of en- 
lightened and well regulated liberty, of equal 
rights and privileges — a supporter of the best in- 
terests of your country, irrespective of the rise or, 
fall of parties or men. When measures are 
brought to your consideration, do not inquire who 
originated them, or by what party are they sup- 
ported, or what men will they elevate or over- 
throw ? — but only ask, are the proposed measures 
20* 



S34 POLITICS. 

called for by existing exigencies — are they con- 
sistent with the genius of our free institutions — 
are they compatible with republican principles — 
are they calculated to enhance the public welfare ? 
If, after strict and candid examination, you can 
answer these inquiries in the affirmative, support 
the measures; but if not, reject them entirely. 
And when an individual is held up for public 
station, let not the question be, by whom was he 
nominated — or to what party does he belong ? — 
but ask, what are his 'principles^ his abilities ? — 
apply the text of the patriot Jetferson — "is he ca- 
pable, is he honest, is he faithful ?" Never give 
him your support until you are perfectly satisfied 
upon these points. Let the young men of this 
Union free themselves from all debasing mana- 
cles, from every improper bias, and pursue an 
upright, manly, independent course in regard to 
politics, and the evils that are now sapping the 
foundations of our Republic, will become anni- 
hilated. And I can not avoid here recommend- 
ing young men to patronize more extensively, 
those public prints that are neutral respecting poli- 
tics — those papers which freely and boldly can- 
vass the political questions of the day, without 
becoming attached to any party or any set of men. 
One publication of this character, conducted with 
ability and discrimination, will throw more light 
upon the actual state of the country, the true na- 
ture of its interests, and the character and ten* 
•dencies of the current and prominent measures 



POLITICS. S35 

of the times, than a score of those papers that 
are wholly devoted to the upbuilding of a partic- 
ular party. Those young men, therefore, who 
are more deeply interested in the welfare of the 
whole country, than in the welfare of political 
parties and individual aspirants, will do well to 
become patrons of these neutral periodicals. 



CHAPTER XII. 

MARRIAGE. 

Young men should allow matrimony, to be a 
frequent subject of serious reflection.* I repeat, 
serious reflection. Although young people are 
generally in the habit of viewing marriage as a 
light, pleasant, laughable matter, of no great mo- 
ment, yet it is a subject which deeply involves 
their enjoyment, their peace and prosperity 
through life, and therefore it is one of weight 
and importance. Marriage is one of the vital 
institutions of civilized life. In whatever com- 
munity it holds a high and sacred rank, it is a 
prolific source of the social virtues and enjoy- 
ments. But wherever its holy obligations are 
unknown or unheeded, man sinks to the level of 
the brute, in regard to every thing that is eleva- 
ting and ennobling. 

♦ I would refer the reader to the Fifth Lecture of 
*' Combe's Moral Philosophy," for some useful remarks 
respecting marriage, which should be read and heeded by 
every youth who expects to enter the matrimonial state. 

236 



MARRIAGE. 237 

Marriage is a duty — made so by our Creator. 
In forming the man, he did not intend him to be 
a lone and solitary bemg. The sacred historian 
instructs us that the " Lord God said, it is not 
good that the man should be alone ; I will make 
him a help meet for him." From the body of 
Adam, the woman was formed ; and Deity utter- 
ed the authoritative requirement, " therefore shall 
a man leave his father and his mother, and shall 
cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh." 
Here is a strict command to enter the marriage 
state. 

Matrimony is made a duty by nature. The hu- 
man race are equally divided into the two sexes, 
male and female. They are evidently intended 
for each other's society. The woman, from her 
delicate constitution, stands in need of the aid, 
the protection and support of the sterner and more 
vigorous sex. And it is equally necessary that 
the man should be civilized, polished, and curbed 
in the outbreaking of his impetuous passions, un- 
der the influence of the purer mind and sweeter 
affections of woman. There is no way in which 
these mutual benefits can be so properly and so 
beneficially bestowed, as through the institution 
of marriage. The ties thus formed, call into ac- 
tivity, all the kindest and holiest affections of our 
natures — they bring out the bright virtues and 
excellencies of the human heart, and awaken to 
life, that love which sweetens the uneven jour- 
ney of earthly existence. 



,838 MARRIAGE. 

Every young man should make it the settled 
resolution of his mind, to enter the matrimonial 
state. This should be one of the important ulte- 
rior objects, to which his earlier plans and exer- 
tions should tend. To take upon himself the 
marriage obligations, with proper views and in 
proper circumstances, should be the goal at which 
every honorable young man should endeavor early 
to arrive. And he should never consider him- 
self as perfectly settled in life, and prepared to 
take his proper station in society, until he obtains 
this "help meet," this better half. 

*' The wish to marry, if prudently indulged, 
will lead to honest and persevering exertions to 
obtain a reasonable income — one which will be 
satisfactory to the object of your hopes, as well 
as to her friends. He who is determined on living 
a single life, very naturally contracts his endeav- 
ors to his own narroAv personal wants, or else 
squanders freely, in the belief that he can always 
procure enough to support himself. Indeed it 
can not have escaped even the careless observer, 
that in proportion as an individual relinquishes 
the idea of matrimony, just in the same propor- 
tion do his mind and feelings contract. On the 
contrary, that hope which aims at a beloved part- 
ner—a family — a fireside — will lead its possessor 
to activity in all his conduct. It will elicit his 
talents, and urge them to their full energy, and 
probably call in the aid of economy ; a quality so 
indispensable to every condition of life. The sin- 



MARRIAGE. 239 

gle consideration, *What would she think, were 
she now to see me ?' called up by the intrusion of 
a favorite image — how often has it stimulated a 
noble mind and heart to deeds which otherwise 
had never been performed !"* " The first bless- 
ing," says Bishop Taylor, " God gave to man, was 
society ; and that society was a marriage ; and 
that marriage was confederate by God himself, and 
hallowed by a blessing. Celibacy, like the fly in 
the heart of an apple, sits alone, and is confined, 
and dies in singularity. But marriage, like the 
useful bee, builds a house, and gathers sweetness 
from every flower, and unites into societies and re- 
publics, and sends out colonies, and feeds the 
world with delicacies, and keeps order, and ex- 
ercises many virtues, and promotes the interest of 
mankind, and is that state of good things to which 
God hath designed the present constitution of the 
world." 

Some young men deem it exceedingly wise to 
make up their minds not to marry at all. But this 
determination is as ungenerous and dishonorable, 
as it is unnatural and unreasonable. And those 
who form it, are treasuring up to themselves evils 
and sorrows. The disadvantages of a single life 
are not so sensibly experienced while youth 
and health continue. But when old age creeps 
on and the bachelor becomes wearied with the 
amusements of youth, and is necessitated to seek 
for ather sources of enjoyment, then he feels the 
* Young Man's Guide. 



240 MARRIAGE. 

desolation of his condition. Avoided in society, 
as one who is crusty, sour, cold-iiearted, and aus- 
tere, with no domestic circle, no affectionate com- 
panion or loving offspring, to welcome, and cheer, 
and smile upon him in his hours of retirement — 
he feels that he is indeed alone — a forlorn, isola- 
ted, forsaken being ; the object of the scorn of the 
young and the derision of the old, and the gene- 
ral hutt of ridicule and sarcasm. There is no 
individual in community, more generally disliked 
and unenvied, than the old bachelor ! When 
sickness overtakes him, he experiences still more 
keenly, his lonely condition. With no guardian 
angel hovering around his couch, to present the 
soothing cordial, and to sympathise in his suf- 
ferings, he lingers upon the bed of disease — is 
administered toby the careless hand of strangers, 
in accordance to his ability to remimerate them — 
and finally dies unwept and unregretted, and his 
name sinks into oblivion 1 Such is the career of 
the bachelor ! How cheerless and uninviting ! 

The difference in the condition of single ladies 
and gentlemen, is strikingly obvious. Many la- 
dies remain single through life, more from the 
force of circumstances, than from choice. Young 
men should remember that the condition of ladies, 
in regard to matrimony is peculiar. From the 
usages of society, ladies can not seek out and se- 
lect companions ; but they must remain to be 
sought. They can reject proposals, but they can 
not make them — thev can decline alliance with 



MARRIAGE. 241 

Individuals whom they dislike, but they can not 
propose it to those whom they would choose. — ■ 
From these restraints, imposed by the rules of 
propriety, a lady is not to be supposed to remain 
single from aversion to that institution of mar- 
riage, which has been formed by the Creator. 
She is not, therefore, to be disrespected on this 
account. But the bachelor, from his superior 
advantages of selection, must remain single only 
through choice; and thus makes himself justly 
the object of animadversion and contempt! 

A young man has no " right to sport with the 
affections of a young woman, in any way what- 
ever. Vanity is generally the tempter in this 
case ; a desire to be regarded as being admired 
by the women; a very despicable species of van- 
ity, but frequently mischievous, notwithstanding. 
You do not, indeed, actually, in so many words, 
promise to marry ; but the general tenor of your 
language and deportment has that meaning ; you 
know that your meaning is so understood ; and 
if you have not such meaning — if you be fixed 
by some previous engagement with, or greater 
liking for, another — if you know you are here 
sowing the seeds of disappointment — and if you 
persevere in spite of the admonitions of con- 
science — you are guilty of deliberate deception, 
injustice and cruelty. You make to God an 
ungrateful return for those endowments which 
have enabled you to achieve this inglorious and 
unmanly triumph ; and if, as is frequently the 
21 



242 MARRIAGE. 

case, you glory in such triumph, you may have 
person, riches, talents to excite envy ; but every 
just and humane man will abhor your heart."* 

The proper time for marriage, is a subject of 
some moment. You should not enter the matri- 
monial state, until you are competent to support 
a family in circumstances of comfort. There is 
a Sfmnish proverb which says, "a husband with- 
out ability, is like a house without a roof" The 
man who has not the ability to provide for a fami- 
ly, would entail wretchedness upon himself, and 
those connected with him, were he to be married. 
But in this land of plenty, there are no young 
men possessing health and habits of industry 
and economy, who are incapable of maintain- 
ing a family, by the time they arrive at a suita- 
ble age for wedlock. Early marriages are pref- 
erable to late ones. By delaying until middle 
life, or old age, the habits and temper of the 
parties become fixed, and it is with great diffi- 
culty that they can adapt themselves to each 
other's dispositions, so as to pass pleasantly 
through life — though it is better to marry late in 
life, than not at all. As a general rule, young 
men should not marr^ before the age of four or 
five and twenty, nor delay it, except where circum- 
stances imperiously demand, after t-hirty. "In 
Wurtemberg it is illegal for any young man to 
marry before the age of twenty-five, or any young 
woman before eighteen ; and no man is allowed 
♦ Guide. 



MARRIAGE. 243 

to marry at any age, unless he can shew to the 
priest, his ability to provide for a wife and fami- 
ly. Such laws are extremely rational and judi- 
cious."* 

The proper qualifications of a wife, is a topic 
in which young men are deeply interested. It 
has been remarked — probably by some crusty old 
bachelor — tnat choosing a wife, is like buying a 
ticket in a lottery. Were young men blind and 
deaf, or void of discrimination, this assertion 
might be true. But to those youth who see and 
hear, and who do not allow their imagination to 
runaway with their judgment, the selection of a 
companion need not be a matter of great uncer- 
tainty. In choosing a wife, you should be soli- 
citous to obtain one who is good and useful^ rath- 
er than one who is only beautiful and accom- 
plished. Say what we will, in regard to beauty 
of person, and exercise as much caution as may 
be, against its attractions, still it will exercise all 
the influence it deserves. I do not caution you 
against selecting a young woman who is hand- 
some ; but I warn you against choosing a wife 
whose only attraction is beauty of person. The 
•morning cloud and the early dew are not more 
fleeting, than comeliness of form and features. 
He who marries a lady whose only desirable 
qualifications are a handsome face and person, 
will in a few years, perceive that the object of his 
choice has become faded and plain ; and beauty, 
♦Moral Philosophy. 



244 MARRIA.GE. 

her only attraction, having fled, there is great 
danger that alienation of heart and a life of 
wretchedness will ensue. While personal beau- 
ty will exercise an influence upon young men, I 
would urge you to seek for other qualifications of 
a less fleeting class; and if you do not observe 
them in the female who attracts your attention, 
beware of a union with her. If a man marries 
a doll because it is a doll, he must attribute it to 
his own weakness, if he is doomed to discover 
that his companion possesses no other attractions 
biU those of a doll ! 

You should also beware of any undue influ- 
ence from useless accomplishments. A young 
lady may dance gracefully, sing delightfully, ex- 
ecute music skilfully, and have at her tongue's 
end the adventures of the heroes and heroines of 
all the popular novels of the day, and yet if she 
possesses a sour disposition, an irascible temper, 
a cold, ungenerous heart, and is ignorant of do- 
mestic duties, she would make a poor and profit- 
less companion. Such ladies, 

" May do very well for maidens or aunts, 
But, believe me, they'll never make wives." 

" There's many a good wife that can neither 
sing nor dance well." " I am an old fellow," 
says the poet Cowper, in one of his letters to 
Hurdis, " but I had once my dancing days as you 
have now; yet I never could find that I could 
learn half so much of a woman's character by 
dancing with her^ as by conversing with her at 



MARRIAGE. 245 

home, when I could observe her behavior at the 
table, at the fireside, and in all the trying circum- 
stances of domestic life. We are all good when 
we are pleased ; but she is the good woman who 
wants not the fiddle to sweeten her." A ball- 
room, a party, or the church, is a poor place to 
select a wife. The fairest appearances are there 
put forth ; but you know not the faults and im- 
perfections in mind, in disposition and habits, 
which they may cover. — The old proverb wisely 
says — " If thou desirest a Avife, choose her on a 
Saturday, rather than on a Sunday." A few fa- 
miliar visits when the object of your attention is 
engaged in domestic afiairs and has no expecta- 
tion of seeing you, will afford a clearer view of 
her qualities and habits, than years of intimacy 
under other circumstances. — You should endeav- 
or to conceive, if possible, what will be the dis- 
position, the habits, the character, of your intend- 
ed companion, a. few years hence, Avhen she will 
have been tried in the severe school of experience 
and domestic cares. If you have reason to ap- 
prehend that her qualities will not be as valuable 
and attractive then, as now, you had better aban- 
don, at once, all idea of connexion with her — for 
marriage with such a one, is far more likely to 
be fruitful of evil than of good. 

Young men should not look for perfection in 
the female sex, either in beauty of person, or m 
disposition, or mind. This would not be gener- 
ous or reasonable — perfection dwells not in mor- 
21* 



S46 MARRIAGE. 

tal frames. But there are a few valuable and all- 
important characteristics, which every young 
man should be satisfied dwell in the I'emale 
whom he selects for his companion. 

1. She should be virtuous. Virtue is the ba- 
sis upon which all other valuable female quali- 
ties must rest. Women who are virtuous, al- 
though lacking in many other desirable qualifica- 
tions, may still be valuable and worthy. But 
when virtue is wanting, the foundation of worth 
is removed, and no other qualification can atone 
for its absence. 

2. She should have an agreeable disposition 
and an even temper. "This is a very difficult 
thing to ascertain beforehand. Smiles are cheap; 
they are easily put on for the occasion. By a 
good temper, I do not mean an easy temper, a 
serenity which nothing disturbs ; for that is a 
mark of laziness. Sullenness, if you be not too 
blind to perceive it, is a tempen to be avoided by 
all means. A sullen man is bad enough ; what, 
then, must be a sullen woman, and that woman 
a wife ; a constant inmate, a companion day and 
night. But if you have your eyes, and look 
sharp, you will discover symptoms of this if it 
unhappily exist. She will at some time or other, 
show it to some one of the family ; or, perhaps, 
towards yourself; and you may be quite sure 
that in this respect, marriage will not mend her."* 
Good disposition and even temper are important 

♦ Guide. 



MARRIAGE. 247 

accompaniments to virtue. For although your 
intended wife may be virtuous and industrious, 
yet if she has a sour, morose disposition and an 
irritable temper, the probability is great, that you 
will live unhappily together. But if she has a 
kind, pleasant, benevolertt disposition and a well 
governed temper, your prospect is fair, of enjoy- 
ing a peaceable and agreeable home. 

3. She should possess an enlightened mind — 
or, at least, a mind that eagerly seeks for useful 
information. It is well known that the mother 
sows the first seeds of knowledge in the minds of 
her offspring. How important that she should 
be qualified to discharge this office in a beneficial 
manner. Her mind should possess clear views, 
not only in relation to general knowledge, but 
especially upon the subject of religion and of mor- 
al duties. It is extremely unfortunate to marry 
a young woman who is destitute of correct reli- 
gious impressions, and especially one who has no 
inclination to seek for light upon this important 
subject. Such a one, would be peculiarly ex- 
posed to the thraldom of bigotry and fanaticism, 
and your domestic peace would be liable to be em- 
bittered by the deleterious influences of religious 
error. See, then, that the object of your choice 
possesses a sound mind — one that is anxious to 
acquire a fund of valuable knowledge, and is 
capable of appreciating the worth of pure morali- 
ty and of enlightened views of the Gospel of the 
Saviouf. 



248 MARRIAGE. 

4. She should be industrious, A wife desti- 
tute of industry, is little better than a drone or a 
block. Whatever may be your circumstances, 
an industrious companion will be far more val- 
uable, than one who prefers to eat the bread of 
idleness. They had a correct view of this sub- 
ject anciently. In Proverbs, it is said of a vir- 
tuous or industrious woman — " She will do good 
and not evil, all the days of her life. She 
seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly 
with her hands." And from the neatnes,s of his 
apparel, it is said, " her husband is known in the 
gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the 
land." Seek for a young woman, who, instead 
of devising ways and means to squander your 
property in useless dress and extravagant dis- 
play, will endeavor, by industry, prudence and 
economy, to assist you in securing a suitable 
competency for life — one who will indeed, be 
" a help meet" for you. If a young lady spends 
the greater part of her time in languishing over 
a novel, or drumming upon the piano, or " spin- 
ning street-yarn" to indulge in idle gossip, be- 
ware of making her your companion — she is 
lacking in one of the most important character- 
istics of a good wife — viz : industry. 

5. She should be well versed in domestic econ- 
omy. " Without a knowledge and love of do- 
mestic concerns, the wife, even of a peer, is of 
hut little value. It was the fashion in former 
tiines, for ladies to understand a great deal about 



MARRIAGE. 249 

tliese things ; and it would be very hard to make 
me believe that it did not tend to promote the in- 
terests and honor of their husbands." Young 
men should be very cautious on this point. They 
should never knowingly be joined in wedlock to 
a female who is ignorant of the domestic affairg 
of a family. Even though th^re may be no ne- 
cessity of engaging in them constantly herself, 
still it is important for her to know how they 
should be transacted, in order that her household 
may be conducted in a successful and economi- 
cal manner. With an ignorant wife and igno- 
rant servants, your domestic concerns will soon 
be in a lamentable condition, and you will suffer 
in comfort as well as in interest, 

Many other valuable characteristics ^f a good 
wife, might be enumerated, but these must sufiice. 
If you obtain a companion who is virtuous, of a 
gentle disposition and even temper, who possess- 
es a well informed and tractable mind, is indus- 
trious and well versed in domestic economy — you 
v/ill secure one of the richest of earthly bless- 
ings — she will be a jewel above value. Her 
features may be plain, her complexion may not 
be fair — but what are these but fleeting shadows 
that disappear with the few days of youth. "Beau- 
ty in woman is like the flowers in Spring; but 
virtue is like the stars of heaven." Personal 
beauty is liable to be destroyed by the first frosts 
of sickness ; but if your chosen one possesses 
the qualities 1 have enumerated, she is adorned 



250 MARRIAGE. 

with a beauty, which, instead of fading and dis- 
appearing, will grow brighter and lovelier with 
advancing age, and sweeten all your domestic 
experience. 



A VOICE TO YOUNG LADIES. 



CHAPTER I. 



INTRODUCTION. 



The condition of woman, and the e&timation 
in which she is held byr the other sex, are a true 
index of the state of civilization in every'' country. 
Wherever Christianity diffuses its divine influ- 
ences — wherever the pages of literature, of sci- 
ence, and of the arts, are unfolded for the perusal 
of the great mass of the people, there woman is 
honored, her rights are respected, her value ap- 
preciated, her worthiness assented to — there she 
is the companion of man, and not his slave ; the 
object of his confidence and love, and not the 
instrument of his despotic pleasure — there she is 
acknowledged an intellectual and moral being, 
capable of competing with the masculine mind in 
the acquisition of those attainments that adorn 
and elevate human nature. But in those lands 
where the light of Christianity has never shone — 
where the arts and sciences are known only to a 
small extent, and where mental and moral dark- 
ness covers the people — woman is a degraded 
22 253 



254 INTRODUCTlOIf. 

menial, looked upon by man, as only fitted to per- 
form the drudgery of life, and to do his bidding. 
To perceive the truth of these remarks, it is 
only necessary to survey the present condition of 
woman, in different portions of the earth. In 
Europe and America, where Christianity, civili- 
zation, and science diflfuse their mingled influ- 
ences, woman holds her highest rank; the native 
purity and loveliness of her qualities shme out, 
and her talents and capabilities are developed to 
a degree hitherto unknown in the annals of time. 
But contemplate her condition in othjcr sections, 
of the globe. Wherever the darkness of igno- 
rance reigns in its most complete triumph, there 
woman is plunged in her deepest degradation. In 
Persia and Hindostan, in Turkey, in Georgia 
and Circassia, in China and the Loo-Choo Is- 
lands, while her condition is better than in many 
other parts of the world, it is still far inferior in 
every valuable consideration, to her station in 
Christian nations. She is worshipped, it is true, 
as an idol, in some of those countries ; but the 
emotion arises no higher than admiration of per- 
sonal beauty ; she commands no respect for vir- 
tue, intelligence, and well-developed intellect. 
The immoralities of Mohometanism and Pagan- 
ism, together with the unnatural institution of 
polygamy, unjustly rob her of her rights, her in- 
ftuence, and the dearest enjoyments of life. She 
is made the subject of barter and sale, " and her 
beauty, and som^tmies her ability to labor, are 



INTRODUCTION. 255 

made to contribute to the purposes of avarice and 
gain." In the islands of South America, m the 
Indian Archipelago, in Australia and Polynesia, 
in the Pelew, Society, Friendly, and Sandwich 
Islands, among the savages in the two continents 
of America, and in all Africa, woman is the ser- 
vile dependant and slave of man — the object of 
his tyranny and oppression — compelled to per- 
form the severest labors, and to drag out a mis- 
erable existence, subject to the caprice and whim 
of her lord and master. 

Such is a brief survey of the condition of wo- 
man, throughout the world. The fair daughters 
of America can not be too thankful, that a kind 
Providence has cast their lot in this favored hem- 
isphere, where they are blessed with privileges, 
and surrounded by advantages, af inestimable 
value. 

The circumstances of the female sex, in what 
are termed civilized countries, have experienced 
material changes, at different periods of the world. 
In the first ages of the Roman Republic, the con- 
dition of woman was little better than that of a 
slave. She was confined exclusively to the labor 
of the household, and was subject entirely to the 
rule of her husband, who held even her life at his 
command. In after ages, however, as civilization 
advanced, the Romans estimated the female char- 
acter more highly, and conferred many superior 
advantages upon the sex. But when the deep 
ignorance of " the dark ages" overshadowed the 



25G INTHODUCTION. 

civilized world, and enveloped in its murky folds, 
religion, literature, and science, the rights of wo- 
man were involved and lost in the common ruin. 
Her condition again became as deplorable as at 
any former period of time. But, after a lapse of 
many centuries, when Christianity emerged from 
the long night of darkness, and civilization once 
more began to polish society, a most remarkable 
change in the condition of woman commenced. 
From a state of abject servitude and bondage, she 
suddenly became exalted to the highest elevation, 
under the influence of that romantic chivalry, 
which then reigned throughout Christendom. 
She was considered a being scarcely pertaining to 
earth, but was worshipped as a superior spirit ; 
and haughty knights and brave cavaliers devoted 
their lives to the defence of her character and 
honor. Poets celebrated her praises in strains of 
admiring enthusiasm, and the wandering trouba- 
dour sang of her dazzling loveliness and the 
witchery of her influence. This chivalrous devo- 
tion to woman, which elevated her as far above 
her real merits, as she was before depressed be- 
neath them, continued for several centuries. But 
at length it began to wane under the influence of 
advancing knowledge and information, until it 
finally received its death-blow in the inimitable 
caricature of Don Quixotte. This celebrated 
work held up the knight-errantry of those ages 
in a light so surpassingly ridiculous, that it van- 
ished as by enchantment. 



INTROnUCTION. 257 

'From that time, woman began to be viewed in 
a proper light, and her real value to be apprecia- 
ted. While the beauty of her person had lost 
the enchanting power it formerly possessed, the 
beauty of her intellect, the purity of her heart, 
the kindness of her disposition, the depth of her 
affections, and the valuable attainments she be- 
gan to develope, gave her an influence, not so 
dazzling, but far more extensive and enduring. 
It was perceived that females possessed minds 
as well as men — that they had been endowed by 
the Creator with the same faculties, and that 
they were capable of high attainment in every 
department of human knowledge. 

This well-grounded respect for the real excel- 
lences of woman, has continued to increase to 
the present day ; and the female sex in Christen- 
dom, now holds a higher and nobler rank than at 
any former period. Females are now justly cel- 
ebrated as authors, musicians, and artists — they 
have become distinguished to an extent that 
would formerly have been considered impossible, 
in every branch of science and general literature. 
As the capabilities of their minds are more and 
more developed, the higher do they rise in the 
estimation of the other sex, and the more are 
they deemed worthy to become, not only their 
companions, but their assistants and counsellors. 
And although the matrons of our country, have 
not chosen representatives to assemble in con- 
clave at Washington, to be consulted by Coa- 
22* 



S58 iNTRomicTio??. 

gress on the affairs of the nation, as was olice 
proposed by an eminent female writer, yet, that 
their station in society is an honorable one, and 
that their condition and advantages are immense- 
ly superior to those enjoyed by females in other 
portions of the globe, can not but be acknowl- 
edged. 

It is true, there are men to be found who think 
lightly of the whole female sex, and who pretend 
to doubt their virtue and their ability to acquire 
extensive knowledge. But such individuals, it 
will invariably be perceived, are either of an un- 
generous, selfish, misanthropic, cynical disposi- 
tion, or have mingled only with the degraded 
and abandoned of the sex. Tbese men should 
have lived a few centuries past, rather than in 
the present age, to have their views comport 
with the general sentiment. It is not reasonable 
to look for perfection in woman. There are 
those of her sex, who are unprincipled and dis- 
solute, precisely as there are such among men* 
But females seldom, if ever, become depraved 
until made so by man's superior depravity. It is 
as inconsistent and ungenerous to contend, that 
the entire female sex should be suspected on ac- 
count of the frailties of some of their number, as 
to condemn the whole male race as thieves and 
robbers, because a few of them, comparatively, 
have been guilty of these crimes. The sneering 
inuendoes in which some men indulge, respecting 
female virtue, should be met by the frowns of 



mTRODUCTION. 259 

every individual of honor,, as a base attempt to 
calumniate the better part of our race — especial- 
ly should ladies themselves discountenance such 
men, and avoid, all connection or association with 
them. Compare the females of this country, as 
a body, with the males, and every candid mind 
will acknowledge, that among the former there 
is to be found far more purity, virtue, and. mod- 
esty, far more kindness, benevolence, and love- 
liness of disposition, than among the latter* 
Those who decry the purity of woman, should 
be av/are of the influence of such conduct. They 
should know that female virtue is the standard 
that regulates public morals, to a great degree, 
and that the efforts which they make to destroy 
that virtue, is a blow struck at the welfare of the 
whole community ; for the purity and morality 
of both sexes rise or fall together. The degra- 
dation of woman involves the corruption of man, 
and is the fruitful source of wretchedness to both* 
Instead, therefore, of deriding the morals of wo- 
man, every enlightened and honorable man, who 
values the improvement and exaltation of his 
race, will rather approbate, encourage, and cher- 
ish female virtue and excellence — will be pleased 
rather to observe it obtaining extension and sta- 
bility, than to exert himself to destroy it ! " When 
man shall be just to her nature, then will he 
have less cause to censure ; for woman will 
have fewer faults to deserve censure. Her 
moral tastej refined and elevated by the percep- 



260 INTRODUCTION. 

tions of her intellect, will then present her to his 
view, as a manifestation of a superior nature — 
a copy worthy its original — worthy his confidence, 
companionship, and love." 



CHAPTER II. 



FEMALE INFLUENCE, 



From the intimate connection that exists be^ 
tween the two sexes, and from the rank which 
females occupy in Christian countries, it is evi- 
dent that their influence in this age, is both 
extensive and powerful. In ancient days, the 
influence of woman, though comparatively small 
when contrasted with its present sway, was not 
unknown. Anacreon, the lyric poet of louiaj 
thus sang : — 

" Nature imparts her gifts to all ; 
And every creature, large or small, 
That frohcs in the sea or strand, 
Receives some favors at her hand. 

* • * 

To man, more bountifully kind, 
She gave the nobler powers of mind ; 
And woman, too, was not forgot ; 
Both grace and beauty are her lot, 
Whose potent influence will prevail » 

When wisdom^ wit and weapons fail." 

The influence of woman commences with 
man's existence, and throughout his whole ca- 

261 



262 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

reer, however diversified, he is never dissolved 
from it — commencing at the cradle, it terminates 
only at the grave. The domestic circle is its 
fountain head, from whence its streams flow 
throughout all the various ramifications of socie- 
ty. Domestic life is woman's proper sphere. 
There her peculiar qualities and powers are de- 
veloped — there she coramences the exercise of 
that sway, which, for good or evil, is sensibly felt 
in the world at large — there she begins those les- 
sons which will affect those to whom they are 
addressed, either beneficially or injuriously, while 
earthly life shall endure — there she first puts into 
operation, that invisible, yet enduring power, by 
which she sways to an immense extent, the fate 
of our race — there she commences twining around 
the hearts of the sterner sex, those minute and 
lastmg cords, which hold them, in a great degree, 
to an assimilation to her own character. The 
domestic circle is the home of woman, where she 
the most fully evinces her useful and valuable 
qualifications, and appears the most lovely and 
enchanting. " A family is society in miniature — 
home is its location — woman its presiding spirit — 
and whatever destroys its primary features, must 
disturb the tranquillity of its joys, introduce evil 
into its atmosphere of good, inflict the worst of 
miseries, not only on her, but on all its members, 
and affect the whole community of which it 
forms apart."* 

♦ Ladies' Magazine. 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 263 

Who has not experienced the influence of wo- 
man ? Who has not been charmed by the viva- 
city of her intellect — enraptured by the spark- 
ling of her genius, and filled with admiration by 
the modesty of deportment and simplicity of 
manners, which so pre-eminently distinguish her 
from the other sex ? And whose heart has not 
been won to respect and love her, for the kind- 
ness, the tenderness and benevolence which her 
conduct is ever manifesting? Ledyard, the well 
known modern traveller, thus bears testimony to 
that kindness of disposition from which so much 
of her influence is derived — " I have always re- 
marked that women, in all countries, are civil, 
obliging, tender and humane ; and that they do 
not hesitate like man, to perform a generous ac- 
tion. Not haughty, not arrogant, not supercili- 
ous ; they are full of courtesy, and are in gener- 
al more virtuous than man, and perform more 
good actions than he. To a woman, whether 
civilized or savage, I never addressed myself in 
the language of decency and friendship, with- 
out receiving a decent and friendly answer. In 
wandering over the barren plains of inhospitable 
Denmark, through honest Sweden, and frozen 
Lapland, rude and churlish Finland, unprinci- 
pled Russia, and the wide spread regions of the 
wandering Tartar ; if hungry, dry, cold, wet 
or sick, the women have ever been friendly to me, 
and uniformly so 5 and to add to this virtue, so 
worthy the appellation of benevolence, these ac- 



264 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

tions have been performed in so free and so kind 
a manner, that if I was dry, I drank the sweetest 
draught, and if hungry, 1 ate the coarsest morsel, 
with a double relish." 

The influence of woman is experienced by 
the other sex, in every stage of existence. How 
powerful is the influence which the wife can ex- 
ercise over the husband, when she judiciously 
employs her abilities ! She can mould him into 
almost any character — she can influence him to 
noble and patriotic deeds ; to a virtuous, hon- 
orable and upright course in life ; to a benevo- 
lent, kind and peaceable disposition — or, if the 
evil inclination sways her, she can debase and 
degrade his mind ; destroy all honorable ambi- 
tion, all aspiring after usefulness and respecta- 
bility ', dispirit and break down his mind, and 
plunge him into disreputable and sinful habits. 
When such is the power of woman's influence 
over her companion, wisdom dictates that it 
should be exercised with great care and prudence. 
The female who would have her husband rise 
in society, and become useful and respected, 
should reflect, that to attain this end much de- 
pends upon her own conduct. If she is careless 
of his interests, negligent of his affairs, and un 
concerned in his plans and prospects, she is a dead 
weight — yea, her influence will be of a charac- 
ter to paralyze his exertions, to discourage him 
in every useful effort, and to keep him down to 
his present level, or sink him still lower. But 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 265 

if she exhibits an interest in his condition — if she 
cheers and encourages him in his losses and in 
his moments of depression, instead of railing at 
him — if she endea^^ors to soothe and allay his 
feelings when irritated, instead of exciting them 
to a flame of anger — then the influence of her 
conduct will be of a highly beneficial character, 
and her labors will not be unrewarded. 

The influence that sisters are capable of ex- 
ercising over brothers, is by no means inconsidera- 
ble. Brought up in each other's company from 
infancy — mingling in a great degree in the same 
scenes, the same amusements — there is usually 
an intimacy between sisters and brothers in 
youthful life, much exceeding that between pa- 
rents and children. The influence which the 
sister thus acquires, she can wield, by a judi- 
cious course, to great advantage. Often the 
young man, while turning a deaf ear to the coun- 
sel of parents, will readily listen to the advice 
of an afiectionate sister. Being nearer his age,, 
mingling with him in the same circle, and par- 
taking to a considerable extent of the same re- 
creations, she is enabled more fully to enter into 
his feehngs and appreciate the peculiarities of his 
situation, than the parent, and is, therefore, bet- 
ter prepared, in many cases, to impart counsel 
and admonition that will have a salutary and 
virtuous tendency. She can watch a brother's 
failings, and by circumspection can so bring her 

influence to bear, as to counteract, to a very im- 
23 



266 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 



m 



portant exient, the baleful temptations to which 
he is exposed. 

Sisters can also exercise a salutary influence 
over brothers younger in years. They mingio 
much with them, and are often entrusted with 
an oversight of them in the absence of parents, 
when children throw off restraint and exhibit 
more clearly their true dispositions. In these ca- 
ses sisters should realize that there is no small de- 
gree of responsibility resting upon them. They 
should notice the development of the tender 
minds of their brothers — should check every im- 
proper expression, and every evil passion and 
propensity, and exercise all their influence to 
give their pliant minds and dispositions a vir- 
tuous and benevolent cast. In this way, young 
ladies can greatly assist their parents in train- 
ing their brothers to usefulness and respecta- 
bility. 

I cannot forbear adding here, a few sugges- 
tions relative to the influence of sisters ovei 
brothers, extracted from a late popular work, by 
an eminent female author, entitled the Young 
Ladies' Friend. " The important relation which 
sisters hear to brothers, can not be fully apprecia- 
ted, without a greater knowledge of the world and 
its temptations to young men, than girls in their 
teens can be supposed to possess. I assure you, 
that your companionship and influence may be 
powerful agents in preserving your brothers from 
dissipation, in saving them from dangerous inti- 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 267 

macies, and maintaining in their minds, a high 
standard of female excellence. If your brothers 
are younger than you, encourage them to be per- 
fectly confidential with you; win their friendship 
oy your sympathy in all their concerns, and let 
them see that their interests and their pleasures 
are liberally provided for in the family arrange- 
ment. Never disclose their little secrets, howev- 
er unimportant they may seem to you; never 
pain them by an ill-timed joke ; never repress 
their feelings by ridicule ; but be their tenderest 
friend, and then you may become their ablest ad- 
viser. If they go into company with you, see 
that they are introduced to the most desirable 
acquaintances, and show them that you are in- 
terested in their acquitting themselves well. If 
you are so happy as to have elder brothers, you 
should be equally assiduous in cultivating their 
friendship, though the advances must of course 
be differently made. Young men often feel the 
want of a confidential friend of the softer sex, to 
sympathise with them in their little affairs of 
sentiment, and happy are those who find one in 
a sister. Once possessed of an elder brother's 
confidence, spare no pains to preserve it. Con- 
vince him by the little sacrifices of personal con- 
venience and pleasure which you are willing to 
make for him, that when you do oppose his wish- 
es, it is on principle and for conscience' sake ; 
then will you be a blessing to him, .and even when 
differing from you, he will love and respect you 



268 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

the more for your adherence to a high standard. 
So many temptations beset young men of which 
young women know nothing, that it is of the 
utmost importance that your brothers' evenings 
should be happily passed at home, that their 
friends should be your friends, that their engage- 
ments should be the same as yours, and that va- 
rious innocent amusements should be provided 
for them in the family circle. Music is an ac- 
complishment chiefly valuable as a home enjoy- 
ment, as rallying round the piano, the various 
members of a family, and harmonizing their hearts 
as well as voices, particularly in devotional strains. 
1 know of no more agreeable and interesting 
spectacle, than that of brothers and sisters play- 
ing and singing together, those elevated compo- 
sitions in music and poetry, which gratify the 
taste and purify the heart, while the parents s't 
delighted by. Brothers and sisters may greatly 
aid each other in judging of their friends of the 
opposite sex. Brothers can throw important 
light upon the character and merits of young men, 
because they see them when acting out their 
natures before their comrades and relieved from 
the restraints of the drawing room. And you 
can in return, greatly assist your brothers in com- 
ing to wise and just conclusions concerning their 
female friends. — Your brothers may be very 
much indebted to the quicker penetration ot 
women into each other's characters, and saved 
by your discernment, from being fascinated by 



FEMALE INFLTJENGE. 269 

qualities that are not of sterling value ! I have; 
been told by men who had passed unharmed 
through the temptations of youth, that they owed 
their escape from many dangers, to the intimate 
companionship of affectionate and pure minded 
sisters. They have been saved from a hazard- 
ous meeting with idle company, by some home 
engagement, of which their sisters were the 
charm; they have refrained from mixing with 
the impure, because they would not bring home 
thoughts and feelings which they could not share 
with their trusting and loving friends. They 
have put aside the wine cup, and abstamed from 
strong potations, because they would not profane 
with their fumes, the holy kiss with which 
they were accustomed to bid their sisters good 
night." 

That mothers can exercise a valuable influence 
over children, is beyond controversy. Who first 
instructs the infant to lisp the language of its 
fathers ? — the mother. Who first gives form and 
consistency to ideas floating vaguely in its un- 
skilled mind 1 — the mother. Who first furnishes 
it themes for thought and conversation? — the 
mother. Who gives the first bias and direction 
to its tender mind, both in moral and intellectual 
respects ? — the mother. How potent, then, is 
the influence of mothers over children ! The sus- 
ceptible mind of the child, is to the mother, " as 
clay in the hands of the potter." She can mould 
and fashion it at will — she can sow the seeds of 
23* 



270 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

virtue, and morality, and correct religious views, 
both by precept and example, or she can allow 
her offspring to grow up under the sway of igno- 
rance, and error, and evil passions. In most cases, 
the mother is instrumental in laying the founda- 
tion of those prominent characteristics, whether 
good or bad, that distinguish her children through 
life. To a mother was our beloved Washington 
chiefly indebted for those principles of honor and 
integrity, of virtue, patriotism and religion, which 
so pre-eminently distinguished him in his trying 
career. From a mother Napoleon obtained that 
energy of character, that perseverance, industry 
and self-possession, to which he was mainly in- 
debted for his unparalleled success. It is im- 
portant, therefore, that mothers, and those des- 
tined to become mothers, should be aware of the 
influence which they sway over their children, and 
should be prepared to wield it in an advantageous 
manner. Let them with care, scatter the seeds 
of patriotism, morality and religion, early, in 
the rich mental soil of their ojffspring, and un- 
less counteracted by influences of an extremely 
deleterious character, they will, in afterlife, yield 
an abundant harvest of usefulness and respecta- 
bility. 

Although the influence of woman is chiefly 
exercised in domestic life, yet it is not confined 
to that circle ; but to a certain extent, it bears di- 
rectly upon community at large. On all public 
occasions, where the presence of females is prop- 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 271 

er, they exercise a controling influence upon the 
character of the proceedings. In civilized life, 
deference is ever paid to the feelings and taste of 
woman. In every assembly, whether the social 
circle, the ball-room, the theatre, or any public 
convocation where they are present, if females 
would exercise their undisputed prerogative, and 
unitedly frown upon every thing of an immoral 
and dissolute character, their modesty would 
soon cease to be offended, and public morals, in 
these respects, v/ould be improved. But if re- 
spectable ladies will give their countenance to 
exhibitions of an improper character — if they 
will smile approvingly, at attitudes, or gestures, 
or words, that should call up the crimson blush 
x)f shame — they must expect that such occurren- 
'ces will continue to be exhibited before them. 
They have the remedy for this evil in their 
own hands, and if they fail to exercise it, they 
must continue to experience its deleterious influ- 
ences. 

Young ladies can also exercise a sensible in- 
fluence upon the character of the young men 
with whom they associate. They have the pow- 
er of causing the conduct of their male associ^ 
ates to be such as they desire. Let them refuse 
to countenance or have any intercourse with 
young men who are addicted to evil habits — let 
them give a firm and indignant reproof to, or 
withdraw immediately from the presence of 
those joung men who exhibit any thing immoral 



272 FEMALE INFLUENCE, 

or improper, either in word or deed — and many 
evils which now exist, would be abated. Young 
men will almost invariably cause their conduct 
to correspond with the tastes of the females in 
whose company they desire to mingle. And in 
the great majority of cases, they will abandon 
any evil practice, rather than lose the approving 
smiles of tliose ladies whom they esteem. Let 
young women remember this truth, and exercise 
the powerful influence they possess, in a prudent 
manner, and effects highly beneficial to them- 
selves, and to community, will ensue. 

The influence exercised by females over hus- 
bands, brothers, and those with whom they are 
intimate, is exceedingly varied in degree. While 
some possess this influence to an extraordinary 
extent, others appear wholly destitute of it. The 
amount of influence depends entirely upon the 
conduct observed towards those over whom it is 
desirable to exercise it. Woman can not com- 
mand man to conform to her tastes and views — • 
she must icin him into conformity. Man often 
accomplishes his purposes by power, and vio- 
lence, and contention. But this is not woman's 
province — these are not her weapons. She has 
but one general course of procedure to obtain 
an influence over those with whom she is con- 
nected, or in whose welfare she is interested — 
and that is, by persuasion, by kindness, by gen- 
tleness and affection, by the continued exhibition 
of a sweet temper, and of a loving and forgiving 



I 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 273 

spirit. These, and these only, are the means by 
which she can gain influence over the sterner 
sex. It is contrary to human nature for man to 
be coerced oy driven into any measure by woman, 
and she who undertakes this course, is igno- 
rant of her powers, ignorant of her proper sphere 
of action, and blind to her own happiness ! 

I am pained to declare, (yet the experience 
of all will bear witness to its truth,) that the 
wretchedness which many females experience, 
is too frequently caused, or at least augmented 
and perpetuated, by their own misjudged con- 
duct. Suppose you have reason to believe the 
affections of the husband, or of the young man 
with whom you had hoped to be connected for 
life, are becoming cool toward you, and turning 
to some other person, what course should you 
pursue to regain his love ? Should you reproach 
and deride him, and treat him with bitter scorn 
and anger ? No — this conduct would be calcu- 
lated directly to defeat the end you would ac- 
complish — it would cause you to appear more 
disagreeable to him than ever, and make a still 
wider breach in his affections. The true poli- 
cy for woman to pursue in this case, is to as- 
sume all the lovely attractions of her nature — 
to be forgiving, kind, affectionate, and as pleas- 
ant and agreeable as possible. This is the only 
course she can possibly adopt, with the least 
prospect of winning him back to his first love ! 
Suppose the husband absents himself from home, 



274 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

and spends his leisure hours at the haunts of in- 
temperance and vice, how shall the wife secure 
his company by his own fire-side, and save him 
from ruin ? By meeting him on every return, 
with a storm of clamor, and fury, and violence ? — 
by making his ears "tingle" with a flood of harsh 
nivective and reproach ? — by causing herself, the 
family, and the dwelling, to appear as disagreea- 
ble and repulsive to him as possible ? No — wo- 
man ; remember, no ! This conduct will not, 
can not amend him ; it will cause him to dislike 
and dread home above all other places ; it will 
influence him to absent himself as frequently 
and as long as possible, and rivet the chains of 
vicious habits upon him ! There is a better, a 
more safe and successful method for you to pur- 
sue. You need not approbate his vices ; but 
whenever you allude to them — which you may 
frequently — do it in a kind tone of voice, and in 
an affectionate and beseeching manner. And 
when he enters his dwelling, meet him with a 
smile of love, instead of a frown of hatred — 
be gentle, sweet, even-tempered, in all your 
words and actions — let your dwelling be "swept 
and garnished," and made as cheerful and pleas- 
ant as possible — arrange all things to suit his 
convenience and taste. The moment you have 
made home more agreeable and satisfactory to 
him than the places of his resort, that moment 
you have achieved the victory. We are always 
desirous to tarry the longest where we enjoy 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 275 

ourselves the best. If the wife studies to make 
the domestic fire-side pleasant and delightful to 
her companion, the case is rare that she will 
have just cause to complain of his absence. 
By pursuing this prudent and judicious course 
on the appearance of the first symptoms of an 
inclination in the husband to tarry needlessly 
from home, and, indeed, when no such inclina- 
tion exists at all — the wife can not only secure 
her own peace and enjoyment, but can save 
the husband from threatened degradation and 
ruin.* 

Such being a general view of the influence 
possessed by woman in her different stations in 
society, young ladies will perceive the importance 
of qualifying themselves to sway it, in a manner 
beneficial to themselves and their race. The 
saying, that " woman rules the world," can hard- 
ly be an exaggeration. Her power is immense, 
and when properly directed, can be the cause of 
an incalculable amount of good. But woman 
should remember that she can rule onlybyj^Zea- 
sing — and she can never please by stepping out 
of her proper sphere, and arbitrarily demanding 
to rule. It is necessary that young ladies should 
reflect much upon the peculiarities of the con- 
dition they will be likely to occupy in community, 

* The remarks in this chapter, applicable to married 
ladies, are naturally involved in the subject of female 
influence, and are addressed to young women, from the 
supposition that the most of those who peruse these lines 
will, in due time, enter the marriage state. 



276 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

that, by a full understanding of the necessary 
requisites, they may be prepared for a faithful 
and useful discharge of all the duties that may 
devolve upon them. 



CHAPTER 111. 

EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

The 1-ove of society is an emotion deeply im- 
planted in human nature. To be in the presence 
of our fellow-beings, to interchange thoughts, 
emotions and opinions upon subjects mutually 
interesting, is a source of high intellectual and 
social enjoyment. This inclination for society, 
termed by phrenologists " Adhesiveness," has 
been exhibited in all ages. Amid the blooming 
beauties of Eden, the happiness of our father 
Adam was not complete, until a companion w^s 
provided to be the sharer of his thoughts and 
his joys. In childhood, this propensity for society 
is early developed. Children evince an exceed- 
ing fondness for each other's company ; and 
soon they form those friendships and attach- 
ments, which frequently continue through life. 

The social inclination appears to exist more 
strongly in woman than in man. Under the in- 
fluence of misanthropic feelings, man sometimes 
so far violates the promptings of his nature, as to 
24 277 ' 



278 EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

withdraw from all intercourse with his fellow- 
beings, and in the gloomy mountain cavern, or 
the far recesses of the forest, pass his days in 
dreary solitude. But in the whole history of our 
race, I know not that there is an instance record- 
ed, where woman thus voluntarily banished her- 
self from society. It is well known that females 
in the years of childhood and youth, exhibit to a 
high degree, this love of social intercourse. They 
delight to mingle together ; and by a mutual dis- 
position to please, they confer enjoyment upon 
each other. These feelings are natural and 
proper; and the young should be allowed to in- 
dulge them to a consistent extent. 

The influence exercised upon young ladies by 
their associates, must necessarily be great, and 
will exert an important tendency in the forma- 
tion of character. " We are all," says Locke, 
" a kind of chameleons, that take a tincture from 
the objects that surround us." It is a maxim of 
Solomon, that " he that walketh with wise men 
shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be 
destroyed." And the same wise man utters 
another admonition of similar import — " Make 
no friendship with an angry man, and with a 
furious man thou shalt not go ; lest thou learn 
his ways, and get a snare to thy soul." These 
maxims are founded upon the well known pro- 
pensity in human nature, to imitate the charac- 
teristics of those with whom we associate. We 
slowly, yet surely, imbibe a certain degree of 



EARLY ASSOCIATES. 279 

the disposition, tastes and habits, whether good 
or bad, of our companions. Their peculiarities 
in thinking, speaking and acting, gradually be- 
come ours, and we ere long, in a measure, see 
with their eyes, and hear with their ears. 

How necessary, then, young ladies, that you 
should exercise great precaution and circumspec- 
tion, in the selection of your associates of both 
sexes. You should not trust this matter entirely 
to chance — you should not mingle indiscrimin- 
ately with whatever company you may casually 
come in contact ; but with prudence and care, 
should you select those with whom you would 
associate and form intimacies. You can not be 
too careful in regard to the character, habits and 
accomplishments of those whom you choose for 
companions. An associate of loose morals, of 
low and indelicate habits, whose conversation is 
vulgar, and whose general demeanor is unculti- 
vated, will exercise an influence over you, the del- 
eterious consequences of which may be ruin and 
wretchedness. Mankind seem to imbibe vicious 
habits more readily than those that are virtuous. 
This can be accounted for on no other principle 
than that exertion, industry and perseverance 
are necessary to acquire or retain virtuous habits 
against the assaults of vicious temptations — while 
to become corrupt and depraved, it is only requis- 
ite that we allow our mental and moral powers 
to remam in a quiescent, indolent state, and per- 
anit the passions to obtain that control which they 



280 EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

are ever seeking. Hence, one corrupt compan- 
ion with whom you are intimate, will often coun- 
teract and overthrow all the admonitions and per- 
suasions to virtue, that can be brought to bear 
upon you. But the influence of pure and virtu- 
ous companions, can not but be salutary and bea- 
t'ficial. 

Community will judge your character by the 
character of your associates. If you seek the 
company of those who are circumspect, prudent 
and well-informed, it will evince to the world 
that you highly estimate these qualifications, and 
you will be proportionately exalted in public es- 
timation. But if you mingle with the rude and 
vulgar, people will readily conclude you are drawn 
into such associations by a similarity of taste and 
inclinations, and will judge you accordingly. And 
when a young lady once awakens suspicions in 
this manner, as to her character, it is diJEficult — 
exceedingly so — to free herself from dishonora- 
ble imputations ! 

The counsel of parents, and of tried friends 
more advanced in life, should be duly heeded in 
selecting associates. You may be blinded by 
prepossession to the faults of those with whom 
you would mingle ; but others, uninfluenced by 
improper bias, can more distinctly perceive the 
imperfections of your companions, and are thus 
enabled to warn you of the dangers to which you 
may be exposed — and wise is she, who will lis- 
ten to and obey such precautions. 



1 



EASILY ASSOCIATES. 281 

That the young should be fond of sprightly- 
company and of cheerful conversation, is to be 
expected — it is the natural inclination of their 
age, when all the emotions are vigorous and elas- 
tic. When these bouyant feelings are controlled 
by modesty and characterized by sense, they may 
toe indulged to advantage. But while you are at 
liberty to select associates who are cheerful, see 
that you do not choose those who allow their ani- 
mation to degenerate into levity and immorality j 
but rather those whose free flow of good feeling, 
is the medium of the acquisition or communica- 
tion of useful information or accomplishments. 
Wisdom and knowledge may be arrayed in garbs 
that are cheerful and pleasing. 

I would not have young ladies too fastidious in 
the choice of associates, or imagine they must 
look alone to the higher circles in society, either 
for companions or examples ; for, unfortunately, 
these circles are often deficient in both, of value. 
It is better to select those with whom you would 
form friendships from the circle to which you be- 
long, than to choose unworthy associates from a 
higher class. You should not look for perfection 
in any of your fellow-beings — you will perceive 
failings in the most perfect. But there are cer- 
tain general characteristics which those with 
whom you associate should possess. They should 
be kind and amiable in disposition, and discreet, 
prudent and modest in deportment — they should 
possess sound morals, and have a due regard to 
24* 



282 EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

religious subjects — they should be free from hab- 
its of fault-finding and tale-bearing, free from in- 
dolence and slovenliness — they should not be at- 
tached to gaieties of a frivolous character, or in 
love with those amusements which exert a delete- 
rious influence upon public morals — they should 
possess sound understandings and well-informed 
minds, or minds that are inclined to seek for use- 
ful information. With such, associate, and from 
among them choose those with whom you would 
form friendships and intimacies. But shun those 
who are deficient in these valuable qualifications. 
While the greater proportion of the above will 
apply to associates not only of your own sex, but 
of the opposite, I would, nevertheless, indite a 
few precautions in especial reference to the latter. 
It is very proper that you should associate with 
young men, under the salutary restrictions of pro- 
priety and good breeding. But if it is necessary 
that you should be cautious in regard to your 
companions of your own sex, how much more 
important that you should exercise great prudence 
in relation to the character of the young men with 
whom you associate — especially of those with 
whom you are intimate ! Make it a fixed princi- 
ple of conduct, never to countenance the atten- 
tions or the company of young men who are pro- 
fane, or dishonest, or intemperate, or addicted to 
any improper or dissolute habits. Their society 
is dangerous — your respectability and happiness 
are hazarded by associating with them — and to 



EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

form a connection with them for life, would be 
extremely liable to entail wretchedness upon you. 
Avoid, also, the society of flatter ers. They 
are an unworthy, and generally an unprincipled 
class. The man who endeavors to flatter you, 
insults your understanding, by taking it for grant- 
ed that you are so weak-minded as not to per- 
ceive the emptiness of his fulsome adulation. 
The flatterer has never a good motive in view — 
he never flatters to benefit you— and although his 
words may fall upon your ears with honied sweet- 
ness, yet remember, they are filled with the poi- 
son of pollution and moral death. William Penn, 
in writing to his daughters, gave them this sal- 
utary advice — " Avoid flatterers, for they are 
thieves in disguise — their praise is costly, design- 
ing to injure those they bespeak — they are the 
worst of creatures — they lie to flatter, and flatter 
to cheat — and, which is worse, if you believe 
them, you cheat yourselves most dangerously." 
With young men who are moral, virtuous and in- 
dustrious, who have some laudable occupation, 
whose habits are pure and upright, who honoir 
and respect your sex, and are under the sway of 
correct religious principles, you can freely asso- 
ciate, with mutual improvement and benefit. 



I 



CHAPTER IV, 



FORMING THE MANNERS. 



" Manners maketh man," is a motto inscribed 
m the celebrated school of William of Wykham, 
at Winchester, England. And it is no less true, 
in the same sense, that manners maketh the lady. 
If a lack of good manners, if vulgarity and indel- 
icacy, are failings disgusting even in man, how 
much more unbecoming are they in woman ! A 
-due cultivation of the manners, the general de- 
portment, is of high importance to young ladies. 
Next to purity of character and sweetness of dis- 
position, you depend for success in life, upon a 
well-regulated outward deportment. In regard 
to exterior appearance, " manners, and not dress, 
are the ornaments of woman." The dress may 
blaze with jewels — the brow may be encircled by 
a glittering tiara of diamonds — yet if the manners 
are haughty and scornful, or coarse and vulgar, 
in vain is the costly attire assumed ; it can not 
inspire aflection or respect in those who are dis- 
criminating. But a demeanor characterized by 

284 



FOUmNG THE MANNERS. 285 

modesty, circumspection, frankness, and good 
temper — not too forward, nor too reserved — will 
secure for you the confidence and esteem of your 
acquaintance, even though your dress be of the 
most plain and simple character. Let me assure 
you, young ladies, that, let young men say what 
they will, they are much sooner captivated by a 
modest, delicate demeanor, than by a brazen 
boldness. I do not assert that a set, ceremonious 
deportment is necessary to render a young wo- 
man engaging, but I insist that propriety in man- 
ners, is an essential requisite to a pleasing appear- 
ance. 

In no country is it more important to cultivate 
good manners than in our own ; and yet there is 
a great deficiency of care and instruction in this 
particular. " A young girl often grows up, with- 
out ever being told that to laugh audibly in pub- 
lic, or in crowded assemblies, is not good man- 
ners ; that presenting herself at the end of a 
crowded bench, and looking for a seat, till some 
gentleman feels himself obliged to give her his, 

is very ill-bred You will be careful not to wear 

any head-dress that will prevent those behind 
you from seeing well ; you will never by whis- 
pering, hinder those around you from hearing 
easily ; you will never seem to claim any partic- 
ular seat as your right ; you will never attempt 
to keep seats for those of your party who come 
later than you ; you will never suffer, much less 
oblige, a gentleman to relinquish to you the good 



286 FOKMING THE MANNERS. 

seat which he has fairly earned by going very 
early, and sitting long ia patience. You will 
carefully avoid going in late, and disturbing the 
company after the lecture has begun ; but if you 
do chance to arrive late, you will step softly, and 
take the first seat you can find, instead of making 
farther interruption, by parading through the 

room in search of a better If you are the first 

to occupy a seat, and it is open at both ends, you 
should take the middle of it ; if open only at one 
end, you should take that part next the wall; be^ 
cause by not doing this, you either oblige people 
to crowd past you, or you make a great stir by 

moving every time one is added to the number 

Always think of the good of the whole audience, 
rather than of your own individual convenience. 
This rule is often transgressed in crowded assem- 
blies, in warm weather. The windows are open- 
ed for the good of the whole ; but the air comes 
too powerfully on the neck of some individual, 
and she very coolly desires that the window may 
be shut, entirely regardless of those who, in the 
middle of the building, are panting for that breath 
of fresh air which she is shutting out. Health 
and life may depend on your not sitting in that 
draught of air ; but if so, you should protect your- 
self by additional clothing, change your seat, or 
leave the place, rather than incommode hundreds 
by having a window shut on your account. I 
have seen a large assembly of people almost suf- 
focated for want of fresh air in consequence of 



FORMING THE MANNERS. 2S7 

one window after another being closed, at the 
request of some two or three persons sitting by 
them."* 

The first impressions we receive in regard to 
persons, are often lasting. And m mingling in 
society, the stranger forms his first conclusions 
of your worth, from your manners. It is true, a 
fair countenance, or a symmetrical form, may at- 
tract the eye of a stranger 3 but if, in his farther 
scrutiny, he discovers superciliousness or vulgar- 
ity in manners, the charms of person vanish, and 
disgust takes place of admiration. But when, 
your deportment is dictated by propriety, you 
have the advantage on introduction of making a 
favorable impression at once. People generally 
will draw some conclusion from your manners, 
in regard to your real character and disposition , 
for the outward demeanor is always understood, 
without something is distinctly known to the con- 
trary, as indicating the moral principles and the 
emotions of the heart. "You may take two in- 
dividuals of precisely the same degree of intellect 
and moral worth, and let the manners of the one 
be bland and attractive, and those of the other, 
distant or awkward, and you will find that the 
former will pass through life with far more ease 
and comfort than the latter. For though good 
manners Avill never effectually conceal a bad 
heart, and are, in no case, any atonement for it, 

♦ Young Lady's Friend. 



FOBMmC THE 



ftSL takes m conne^' t - 

OKB dispc^itions, t: ^ 

gain opoD the respect and good-nrill of i: 

Let it be understood tbal tbe real feourcfc ol 
good manners --'^'^ '- ' o--..*-.- r.^r...^.~.._.r • :-. \r^ 

tl« iieart. Ti. - 

benercient feelings — ^npon a fl^ 



m-i -- - — -- — , - -- 

tions dwell in tbe bol- i- 

isoEX. Tonng ladies can noi ciispiay inai ])x^^L!&mo^ 



Tbe dancing and :: 

a cenain poiisb to 
kirc .^.-.-•'.^.. ;.^-l 

CX- 

ibe least : 



;rs mar give 



le 



are luruwii tlT^^ '■. z- 
tbe p- " -^^ •' i-_: — > 
posed '--A — ^ii T. ., 

mv to cause ibe mannere 



ve ; and m sueii an instaaec, 

int is snScienl to satisfy tbe 

: ws. and smileSj and 

rrt tbe bean is imin- 

: efforts to please 

1 ioTt possesses 



-- kindly dis- 

t little train- 

r proper asd 

tbat, in ac- 

' L must first 

It all im- 

:<tioBs 



FORMING TBE MAXXERS. 289 

but such as are amiable, kind, and praiseworthy — 
and without the shade of a doubt, your deport- 
ment will be appropriate and attractive. 

You should not mistake in what the character- 
istics of a genuine " lady" consist. Remember 
that " in this privileged land, where we acknowl- 
edge no distiDCtions but what are founded on 
character and manners, she is a lady who, to in- 
bred modesty and refinement, adds a scrupulous 
attention to the rights and feelings of others. 
Let her worldly possessions be great or small, let 
her occupations be what they may, such a one 
is a lady^ a gentlewoman ! While the person 
who is bold, coarse, vociferous, and inattentive to 
the rights and feelings of others, who is haughty 
and overbearing, let her possessions be ever so 
great, and her way of living ever so genteel, and 
her beauty ever so fascinating, is a vulgar wo- 
man. Thus we may see a lady sewiog for her 
livelihood, and a vulgar woman moving in fash- 
ionable circles, or presiding over a most expen- 
sive establishment." 

In forming the manners, it is well to adopt 
some model for imitation. To this end, select 
from the circle of your acquaintance, some one or 
more females who are your seniors in age, whose 
general deportment is worthy of your imitation — -- 
allowance being made for diversity of age aod 
condition. Let your model combine every qual- 
ification that is useful and agreeable — remember- 
ing that " those who speak welL and do well, 
25 



290 FORMING THE MANNERS. 

should alone be imitated." I would not have 
you servilely imitate every word and action ; this 
would beget a formality that would be disgust- 
ing ; and there are peculiarities m manners which 
are becoming in some, that would be disagreea- 
ble and repulsive in others. But by having an 
example before you, and by conforming therewith 
in your general deportment, your demeanor will 
soon naturally become characterized by an attrac- 
tive propriety. 

Aflfectation and vanity are to be sedulously 
avoided by every yaung woman. To assume 
manners, attitudes, and forms of speech, that are 
not natural or becoming — to take upon you an 
appearance of accomplishments and refinements, 
which you do not possess — in fine, to pretend to 
be what you are not — is a practice exceedingly 
repulsive ; it is unworthy the female character, 
and will subject you to ridicule and contempt. It 
is assuming a gloss which is easily seen through 
— it is adopting a deception which is readily de- 
tected ; and the results of these false assumptions 
will be greatly to your injury. Never be guilty 
of puerile affectations and indications of false 
modesty. Let your conduct be characterized by 
prudent frankness, simplicity, and candor, and it 
will be far more agreeable and winning. " Del- 
icacy is, in truth, a shy and sensitive plant, which 
shrinks from observation, and is frequently most 
abundant where the least of it is obtruded upon 
our notice. There are, doubtless, some ladie^^ 



FORMING THE MANNERS. 291 

who from nourishing a morbid sensibility, are 
delicate to excess. But, generally speaking, they 
who make a troublesome and ostentatious display 
of delicacy, affect that which they do not feel. 
The young reader may be assured, that this affec- 
tation is not only wicked for its hypocrisy, but 
very injurious to the reputation of those who dis- 
play it. Real piety shuns all singularities, and 
never courts observation by ostentatious rigor. 
It is the same with delicacy. That which is 
real, is always unobtrusive and unstudied. The 
innocent, having nothing to conceal, practice no 
art ; and an open simplicity of manner, the very 
reverse of affectation, is an infallible symptom 
and sure companion of true delicacy." 

You should also avoid a haughty, overbearing 
disposition and air. This is deprecated when 
seen in men ; but it is far more unnatural and 
disagreeable in women. With those who, from 
their vices, are unworthy your respect, you 
should hold no intercourse whatever. But who- 
ever, from their virtues, are deserving your re- 
spect, should be treated in accordance with their 
merits. Your conduct towards them should be 
marked by affability, condescension, and esteem, 
whatever may be their rank or condition. A 
haughty woman is disliked by her own sex, and 
shunned by the other, as one who is, or will be, a 
termagant. 

There are several qualifications indispensably 
requisite to the deportment of ladies, and without 



2^2 FOItMiniG TITF, MANNERS. 

which, all otiier conceivable accomplishments 
are vain. It is hardly necessary to inform the 
young lady, that among these, modesty, holds the 
highest rank. Modesty is a bright jewel in the 
character of woman. It imparts a loveliness and 
attraction to all accomplishments, which we look 
for in vain in its absence. " It heightens all the 
Virtues which it accompanies ; like the shades in 
paintings, it raises and rounds every figure, and 
makes the colors more beautiful, though not so 
glaring as they would be without it." Modesty 
is not only an ornament to the female character, 
but one of its surest safe-guards. It is a monitor 
that warns of approaching danger, and causes its 
possessor to flee from evil, and to shrink from 
even the appearance of impropriety. Addison 
asserts with truth, that "if you banish modesty 
out of the world, she carries away with her, half 
the virtue there is in it." And I would add, if 
you banish modesty from the characteristics of 
woman, you destroy one of the highest attractions 
she possesses. Modesty atones for the absence 
of many other accomplishments. The young 
lady who is unskilled in many of the technicali- 
ties of refinement, is still attractive when modes- 
ty characterizes her demeanor — while the reign- 
ing belle, who is a proficient in all the accom- 
plishments of the age, is repulsive and disgust- 
ing, when exhibiting an immodest demeanor. 

But in endeavoring to cultivate this beautiful 
trait in the female ciiaracler. I would caution 



FCRMING THE MANNERS. 293 

y-on to avoid that silly affectation, better known 
by the name of "false modesty,''' which renders 
some young ladies so perfectly ridiculous in the 
eyes of discriminating persons. That genuine, 
retiring modesty — that sensitive delicacy, so 
pre-eminently becoming in woman — is the off- 
spring of a chaste mind and a pure heart; and 
the purer the fountain from whence it flows, the 
more gracefully will it adorn the character of its 
possessor ; while she who harbors and cherishes 
vulgar thoughts and feelings within, but reveals 
her true character in the very prudishness which 
she assumes in attempting to appear what it is 
foreign to her natural character to be. Such an 
one is ever on the look-out for some shocking 
impropriety in others, that a truly cultivated 
mind would not notice. 

If, then, you would cultivate in your deport- 
ment the crowning grace of true modesty, you 
must not confine your efforts to the surface. 
The most rigid examination into the secret 
springs of your own actions should be exercised, 
and the inmost thoughts of the heart should be 
guarded, purified, and rendered obedient to the 
will. Store your mind with the thoughts and 
language of the purest writers; and while com- 
muning with your own private thoughts, allow 
nothing but the most pure associations to be 
blended with them, and it will require no af- 
fected simpering to proclaim your modesty. 
Your natural, unassuming manners, will speak 



294 FORMING TEIH MANNERS. 

the true language or5^our soul, and quietly will 
the admiration which efibrts to command would 
most likely fail of securing. 

Ge7itleness is another necessary ingredient in 
the manners of the lady. A harsh, headstrong 
disposition, is peculiarly unbecoming in woman ; 
it gives a masculine cast to her character, which 
is far from being agreeable. Superior talents and 
elegant accomplishments are entirely negatory, 
unless accompanied by a gentle, docile disposi- 
tion. Gentleness is peculiarly a womanly endow- 
ment. It imparts a gweetness, an attraction, to 
the whole character, that is truly prepossessing. 

Young ladies can hot be too cautious in regard 
to their deportment towards their associates of 
the male sex. In this respect, there are two ex- 
tremes to be avoided — a forward, coquetish famil- 
iarity, on the one hand, and a prudish, affected 
reserve, on the other. To shun both these ex- 
tremes, and occupy that medium ground which is 
dictated by propriety, is that peculiar province of 
woman, in which her own good sense must be 
her director. You should, however, be aware, 
that the conversation and manners of young men 
in your presence, will depend much upon your 
own tastes. You have no inconsiderable power 
in causing their demeanor toward you to be 
agreeable. If, as has been remarked in another 
chapter, their language or deportment is not such 
as you would have it, much of the blame can be 
attached to yourselves j because you have the 



FORMING THE MANNERS. S95 

remedy in your own hands. By withdrawing 
from their presence, or by a firm, decided repri- 
mand, you can show your displeasure, and the 
evil is remedied. For, believe me, when young 
men ascertain your principles and tastes, they 
will studiously endeavor to conform to them, if 
they desire to frequent your company. 

Never aspire after the name of a " belle." 
Young ladies of this character, may be followed 
by a crowd of flatterers for a season ; but they 
are utterly incapable of inspiring that true affec- 
tion which is so requisite to the peace and happi- 
ness of woman. They are despised by their own 
sex, and distrusted by the other. And after 
reigning for a season, they generally throw them- 
selves away on some senseless fop, incapable of 
cherishing true esteem, to pass with him a 
Wretched life. " Men of loose morals or imper- 
tinent behavior, must always be avoided ; or, if 
at any time you are obliged to be in their com- 
pany, you must keep them at a distance by cold 
civility. But in regard to those gentlemen with 
whom your parents or guardians think it proper 
for you to associate, and who give no offence by 
their manners, to them behave with the samd 
frankness and simplicity as if they were of your 
own sex. If you have natural modesty, you will 
never transgress its bounds whilst you converse 
with a man, as one rational creature with another. 
You should endeavor to distinguish real esteem 
and love from idle gallantry and unmeaning fine 



S96 FORMING THE MANNERS, 

speeches. The slighter notice you take of these 
last, the better ; but the first must be treated with 
seriousness and well-bred sincerity — not giving 
the least encouragement you do not mean, nor 
assuming airs of contempt, where it is not de- 
served."* 

The subject of female manners can not be bet- 
ter summed up, than in the words of a late wri- 
ter, who thus speaks of Mrs. Hannah More, the 
celebrated English authoress: — "It was my 
privilege, a few years ago, to make a visit to the 
residence of this distinguished female; a visit 
which I have ever since regarded as among the 
the happiest incidents of my life. At that time 
she numbered more than four score years ; but 
the vigor of her intellect was scarcely at all im- 
paired. In her manners she united the dignity 
and refinement of the court, with the most ex- 
quisite urbanity and gentleness, which the female 
character, in its loveliest forms, ever exhibited. 
She impressed me continually with a high sense 
of the intellectual and moral qualities by which 
she was distinguished, but still left me as uncon- 
strained as if I had been conversing with my be- 
loved child. There was an air of graceful and 
unaffected ease ; an instinctive regard to the 
most delicate proprieties of social intercourse — a 
readiness to communicate, and yet a desire to 
listen — the dignity of conscious merit, united 

♦ Young Lady's Own Book. 



FORMINS TUB MANNERS. 29*7 

with the humility of the devoted Christian — in 
short, there was such an assemblage of intellec- 
tual and moral excellences beaming forth in 
every expression, and look, and attitude, that I 
could scarcely conceive of a more perfect exhibi- 
tion of human character. 



CHAPTER V. 



THE HABITS. 



Habit exercises a most powerful sway over 
human actions. It is a chain that is insidiously- 
winding itself around us, and binding us to vir- 
tue or vice — to principles that will lead to pros- 
perity and peace, or to practices which will in- 
volve us in infamy and wretchedness. With our 
existence commences our habits; and in exact 
ratio with our bodies do they increase in strength 
and power. The character of the habits depends 
entirely upon circumstances, the kind of instruc- 
tion to which we have been subjected, and the 
nature of the influences exercised over us. Habits 
formed in infancy and childhood, can easily be 
corrected and moulded into the desired channels ; 
but those fixed upon us at maturity, it is extreme- 
ly difficult and often impossible to eradicate, or 
even to modify to any great extent. Youth 
therefore, when the judgment has become suffi- 
ciently developed to meditate seriously upon 
those suhjects that pertain to our welfare, is a 

298 



THE HABITS. 299 

season peculiarly well fitted for the formation of 
those habits which we would have influence us 
through life. Let a proper foundation be laid in 
youth — let the halJits both of body and of mind, 
be examined and corrected — let those that are 
deleterious be expunged, and those that are good 
be added — and the beneficial fruits of this labor 
will be experienced through life. 

Good habits should be esteemed as valuable 
friends. They will assist you in every proper 
thought and deed ; and they not only impart their 
own grateful fruits, but they possess the most 
valuable tendencies — purifying the mind and 
leading it gently in the paths of virtue and pro- 
priety. One good habit opens the door for the 
introduction of another — and as they increase in 
number, they all increase in power, in influence 
and durability. But you should always look upon 
bad habits as your enemies. They oppose your 
enjoyment and prosperity; and just so far as 
their influence extends, to the same degree will 
you be involved in wretchedness and ignominy. 
One bad habit will not remain satisfied in pos- 
session of your mind. Its deleterious influence 
will not only directly affect your enjoyments, but 
will be continually exerted to call in another evil 
habit, and another, until they become a multitude, 
gaining gradually an entire control over you. 
And remember, that as your bad habits increase in 
number, they also increase in strength and deprav- 
ity, until they finally plunge their victim into the 



300 THE HABITS. 

depths of wretchedness. You :?hould, hence, be 
extremely cautious not to acquire even one habit 
that is of a demoralizing or injurious character; 
for you can resist the encroachments of one, with 
far greater success, than to delay until it is rein- 
forced by a multitude. Strike down the first of 
these foes, however feeble it may appear, and then 
you may be able to resist the host in its rear; but 
admit a few of the vanguard, and they will exert 
tliemselves to bind your higher powers, and in-^ 
troduce ail their evil companions. 

Allow me to direct your attention to a few of 
the habits indispensably necessary to the pros- 
perity of young ladies. 

Industry. — The benefits of industry are mani- 
fold. You were made for industrious activity. 
This is evident from the construction of your 
bodies. For what purpose were joints, and sin- 
ews, and muscles, given to you, but for exercise ? 
By a proper use of them, you will secure health 
and its enjoyments; but if you allow them to re- 
main almost wholly inactive, the consequences 
will be painful diseases and early decay. Every 
thing in nature's works exhibits industry. The 
earth never wearies in its diurnal and annual rev- 
olutions; the rapid wind, the falling rain, the 
rushing rivulet, the billowy ocean, all exhibit 
ceaseless industry. And animals of every spe- 
cies display an activity in accordance with their 
construction and wants. Even the vegetable 
kingdom is filled with industry — 



THE HABITS. 301 

" See dying vegetables life sustain, 
See life dissolving, vegetate again ; 
All forms that perish, other forms supply." 
By what rule is the human race exempted from 
sharing in this universal industry ? Those who 
look upon occupation and labor as evils, are evi- 
dently ignorant of their own construction and na- 
ture. A shght acquaintance with the principles 
of physiology, will instruct you, that without 
bodily exercise, you can not experience the high 
blessing of health. If you arrest the course of 
the pure gushing stream, and cause its waters to 
stagnate, how soon it becomes filmy and nause- 
ous — a green slime gathers on its surface and 
noxious insects breed in its bosom ! And thus it 
is with a human body. Let it remain inactive 
and dormant — let its muscles and sinews be but 
seldom and slightly exercised ; cramp and circum- 
scribe its powers and energies, and debihty and 
sickness ere long ensue. This is evidently the 
reason why so many people of wealth (especially 
females) are afflicted with lingering diseases. 
Looking upon industrious occupation as degrad- 
ing and unnecessary, they indulge in slothful and- 
mienamed ease ; and when the bitter effect of 
their folly comes upon them — when the pamper- 
ed body is filled with disease and pain, they pre- 
haps murmur at the decrees of Providence. But 
the blame can not be attached to Providence, 
The Creator formed the human race with capa^ 
bilities of great enjoyment ; and if they fail prop^ 
2Q 



302 THE HABITS. 

erly to exercise these capacities, the deficiency in 
their pleasures will be of their own procuring. 
And it is in vain to resort to nostrums to build 
up an artificial health. Having been lost by lux- 
ury and slothfulness, health cannot be regained 
but by temperance and an industrious employ- 
ment. 

It is peculiarly necessary that young women 
should have much exercise. It develops their 
frames, strengthens their constitutions, and gives 
the freshness of health to all their bodily organs, 
and the glow of beauty to their countenances. 
It is a lack of industrious occupation, that gives 
paleness to the features, and brmgs disease and 
early dissolution to the bodies of so many females- 
There is no trait in a young lady more useful and 
admirable, than industry. It is a high recommen- 
dation to the favor of those whose approbation is 
desirable. But how reprehensible, how repulsive 
and disgusting, is indolence fn a young woman. 
She who loiters away her time over a novel, or in 
idle gossip, while, perhaps, her aged mother is 
overloaded with the affairs of the household, is 
marked by community. No on« can respect or 
admire her. While she continues a slave to in- 
dolence, she is the most useless object on earth! 
Utterly incapable of usefulness, or of conferring 
any valuable benefit upon her fellow-beings, she 
is a burden to herself and to those with whom 
she is connected. 

If you would enjoy health and retain beauty — 



THE HABITS. 303 

if you would secure esteem and affection — if you 
would be useful to yourself and the world — you 
must be industrious. Let your circumstances be 
what they may, industry is inseparably connected 
with your happmess. You should acquire the 
habit of being constantly employed in some use- 
ful manner, and should frequently engage in those 
occupations which call into exercise your bodily 
strength and activity. A female writer remarks : 
" While the most delicate effects of the needle 
rank high among accomplishments, its necessary 
departments are not beneath the notice of the 
most refined young lady. To keep her own 
wardrobe perfectly in order, to pay just regard to 
economy and to the comfort of the poor, will in- 
duce her to obtain a knowledge of those inven- 
tions by which the various articles of apparel are 
repaired, modified, and renovated. True satis- 
faction and cheerfulness of spirits are connected 
with these quiet and congenial pursuits. The 
generous pleasure of relieving a mother or a friend 
from the pressure of care, will sometimes induce 
young ladies to acquaint themselves with em- 
ployments which enable them, when the more 
complex duties of life devolve on them, to en- 
joy and impart the delights of a well-ordered 
home." 

" It rains ! What lady loves a rainy day % 
She loves a rainy day vrho sweeps the hearth, 
And threads the busy needle, or applies 
The scissors to the torn or thread- bare sleeves, 
Who blesses God that she has friends and home ; 



304 THE HABITS. 

WTio in the pelting of the storm will think 

Of some poor neighbor that she can befriend; 

Who trims the lamp at night, and reads aloud 
To a young brother, tales he loves to hear ; 
Such are not sad even on a rainy day." 

Economy is another habit that young ladies 
should cultivate. Although you may not realize 
the importance of this habit so sensibly in your 
present condition, yet ere long you may be in 
circumstances where it will be highly necessary. 
In the marriage state, the success and prosperity 
of the husband, depend, in no small degree, upon 
the economy of the wife. If she is prudent and 
economical — if she indulges in no unnecessary 
display and expense — their united efforts can 
hardly fail of acquiring a competency, if not a 
fortune. But if she is careless and indifferent — 
if she squanders in useless finery and costly ar- 
ray, the fruits of her husband's exertions — his 
efforts will be in vain — his energies will be par- 
alyzed — and disappointment and poverty will al- 
most certainly be the fruit of her foolish blind- 
ness. How many families have been reduced 
from affluence to the depths of poverty, entirely 
through lack of economy in the wife ! 

Economy, in a great degree, is a habit ; and 
like other habits, it must be acquired. It is there- 
fore necessary, highly so, that ladies should ac- 
quire this habit while young, if they would reap 
its benefits in after life. You should study econ- 
omy in all your expenditures, however trifling, 
and in all your domestic affairs. You will thus 



TfiE HABltS. 805 

readily acquire a habit which will recommend 
you to the prudent and worthy, and which can not 
fail of enhancing your future prosperity. But the 
female spendthrift is as odious as the male. She 
is acquiring habits which will cause the discreet 
to avoid any connection with her, and the fruits 
of which may be poverty, want, and distress. 

It is hardly necessary to say, that habits of 
neatness are indispensable to the young lady. It 
is impossible to describe the disagreeable appear- 
ance of a slovenly woman ! Even high virtues 
can not prevent that nauseating disgust, which a 
want of neatness invariably creates. Every young 
lady should cultivate a habit of neatness in her 
appearance. You can not be too particular in 
this respect. In every proper condition and occu- 
pation, you can present a neatness highly com- 
mendable and attractive. If you would not drive 
from your presence, with no strong desire to re- 
turn, those whose esteem you desire to secure, 
avoid carefully all approach to slovenliness— it 
dims all other qualifications. 

Gossiping is a habit to be avoided. This is 
said to be peculiarly a defect of females. I am 
Hot prepared to subscribe fully to this sentiment. 
While I have known manv women who are not 
addicted to this practice, I have at the same time 
been acquainted with numbers of the other sex, 
to whom ii might justly be charged. If women 
exhibit a disposition to converse upon trifling 
matters, and in disparagement of others, to a 
26* 



306 THE HARIT3* 

greater degree than men, it should be attributed 
rather to a volatile disposition and their peculiar 
condition in society, than to a defect in sense, or 
to a fault-finding propensity. This defect, how- 
ever, it must be acknowledged, is often carried to 
extremes in females. There are those who seem 
especially to delight in conveying frivolous re- 
ports throughout the neighborhood, and in con- 
versing with great earnestness in regard to them; 
and they are particularly cautious that the sub- 
jects of their communications shall not lack for 
embellishments, while in their hands. Such peo- 
ple are not generally notorious for exercising much 
care in selecting their topics, or in ascertaining 
the truth of the reports which are injurious to 
those to whom they relate. To talk, seems to be 
their great desire ; and it matters little to them, 
what the subject is, so long as they find food for 
their volubility. Steele, the old English writer, 
remarks : " The truth is, the inquisitive [and the 
same may be said of gossipers] are the funnels 
of conversation ; they do not take in any thing 
for their own use, but merely to pass it to another t 
they are the channels through which all the good 
and evil that is spoken in town, are conveyed." 

This unfortunate practice of gossiping, is, tea 
great degree, a habit, and like other habits, is ac- 
quired ; and when once it is fastened upon you, 
it will be diflScult to divest yourself of its influ- 
ence. Young ladies should endeavor to rise 
above this low and puerile practice, and should 



THE HABIT3. 307 

exert themselves to avoid it entirely. There are 
a few suggestions which, if properly adhered to, 
will have a tendency to preserve you from its de- 
grading power. In the first place, be not too in- 
quisitive in regard to the affairs of your neigh- 
bors, or those with whom you mingle. " Mind 
your own business," is a motto worthy of being 
engraved upon the door of every dwelling. Be 
attentive to your own aflairs, and never allow idle 
curiosity to urge you to intermeddle with that in 
which you are not directly interested. The old 
maxim is eminently true— "Let every individual 
sweep before their own door, and there will be a 
clean street." in the next place, never attribute 
a wrong act to any individual, without the most 
ample proof that the implicated is guilty. Sur- 
mises are no proper foundation for evil reports 
against your neighbor ; and you should never 
give publicity to rumors founded solely upon the 
"guess-Avork" of some evil-minded busy-body. 
When you are fully satisfied that your neighbor 
has been guilty of misconduct, consider, before 
you retail it to the world, whether any benefit can 
accrue in pursuing this course, either to yourselij 
to the community at large, or to the individual 
guilty. If good can not in this manner be made 
to flow to either party, then remain silent ; for no 
principle would justify you, under these circum" 
stances, in spreading the faults of your fellow-be- 
ings before a gainsaying world ! And, lastly, 
when you do feel called upon to speak of theif 



S08 THE HABITS. 

aberrations, be extremely cautious that you do 
not amplify and enlarge them. Speak the sim- 
ple truth, and " nought extenuate, and nought set 
down in malice." 

Guard against indulging in anger. A peevish 
disposition is exceedingly unpleasant in ladies. 
It is undoubtedly true, that some are constitution- 
ally more irritable than others ; yet the visible 
outbreakings of anger depend much upon habit. 
If you allow every trifling circumstance that does 
not coincide with your wishes, to irritate you into 
ill temper, you will not only be irascible for the 
moment, but in this manner a confirmed habit of 
peevishness will grow upon you, which you will 
find it difficult to control, even in circumstances 
where it would be extremely desirable to do so. 
I need only invite the young lady to contemplate 
her countenance in the mirror, when she is in an- 
ger, or indulges in sour, morose feelings, to satis- 
fy her how much to her disadvantage are these 
emotions, in addition to the actual pain which they 
invariably bring upon her. To avoid a habit ot 
petulance, you should school your feelings into 
self-control, and not allow small disappointments 
to destroy the equilibrium of your mind. Culti- 
vate social, benevolent, and friendly feelings, and 
a forgiving spirit. While these emotions pervade 
and control the mind, peevishness, ill temper, and 
moroseness, with all their unhappy effects, will 
be entirely banished. 

Finally, watch closely the habits that are set- 



THE HABITS. 309 

tling upon you. Allow and cultivate none thai 
will not have an influence to make you virtuous, 
amiable, respected, and useful to yourself and to 
your fellow-beings. Whatever exercises a con- 
trary tendency, should be avoided as subversive 
of your character and happiness. 




CHAPTER VI. 



DOMESTIC DUTIES. 



Home is woman's proper sphere and empire. 
It is the scene for the display of her excellences 
and her worthiness. Does woman desire to be 
useful ? — where can she be more useful than at 
home ? Would she be respected ? — how more so, 
than in faithfully discharging her domestic du- 
ties ? Would she display her accomplishments, 
and substantiate her claims upon the confidence 
and affection of man? — in what sphere can she 
more perfectly reveal her valuable characteristics, 
than at home ? Would she be happy ? — where 
can she seek the pure happiness of the heart, if it 
is not to be found at home ? Home is the foun- 
tain of woman's enjoyments, and the common 
centre around which should cluster her sweetest 
hopes and anticipations! There she can shine 
and excel — there she can instruct and purify those 
who are within the sphere of her influence. 
When woman neglects home, under the prompt- 
ings of ambition, to mingle, and shine, and excel, 

310 



DOMESTIC DUTIES. 311 

in other scenes and in other pursuits, she launch- 
es her frail bark upon a tempestuous ocean, where 
the dangers of shipwreck and ruin are scattered 
around on every hand. 

i Home being the natural and proper field of 
woman's duties, how important, how necessary, 
that she should become acquainted, to a good de- 
gree, with the character and demands of these 
duties. Under the sanctions of the marriage 
covenant, home is the scene over which most of 
the young ladies whom I address, will ere long 
be- called lo preside. This change in your cir- 
cumstances, you have undoubtedly anticipated. 
But have you reflected deeply and seriously upon 
its nature ? — have you meditated upon the varied 
responsibilities which will rest upon you, in di- 
recting the internal interests of the family circle? 
It is to be feared, that too many expecting soon 
to become wives, are sadly deficient in a knowl- 
edge of those home duties, upon a faithful dis- 
charge of which depend, in so great a degree, the 
enjoyments of the domestic fireside. They can 
twang a guitar, drum upon a piano, and glide 
with gracefulness through the mazes of the giddy 
waltz — but of what avail are these accomplish- 
ments, in discharging those important trusts 
which devolve upon the mistress of the house- 
hold, the wife and the mother ? 

" There are in the United States, one hundred 
thousand young ladies, as Sir Ralph Abercrora- 
bie said of those of Scotland, ' the 'prettiest las^ 



312 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 

sies in a' the world^'' who neither know how to 
toil nor spin, who are yet clothed like the lilies of 
the valley — who thrum the piano, and a few of the 
more dainty, the harp — who walk, as the Bible 
says, softly, lest brisker movements might snap 
tapes drawn to their utmost tension — who have 
read romances, and some of them seen the in- 
terior of theatres — who have been admired at 
the examination of their high schools — who have 
wrought algebraic solutions on the black-board — 
who have shown themselves no mean proficients 
in the casuistry of Paley — who are, in short, the 
very roses of the garden, the attar of life — who 
yet, horresco referens^ can never expect to be 
married ; or, if married, can not expect to live 
without — shall I speak, or forbear? — putting their 
own lily hands to domestic drudgery ! We go 
into the interior villages of our recent wooden 
country. The fair one sits down to clink the 
wires of the piano. We see the fingers display- 
ed on the keys, which, we are sure, never pre- 
pared a dinner, or made a garment for their ro- 
bustious brothers We need not enter in person. 

Imagination sees the fair, erect on her music 
stool, laced, and pinioned, and bishop-sleeved 
and deformed with hair torn from others' scalps, 
and reduced to a questionable class of entomolo- 
gy, secundo more, dinging, as Sawney would 
say, at the wires, as though she could, in some 
way, hammer out of them music, amusement, 
and a husband. Look at her taper and cream- 



DOMESTIC DUTIES. 313 

,coIore(l fingers. Is she a utilitarian ? Ask the 
fair one, when she has beaten all the music out 
of the keys, ' Pretty fair one, canst talk to thy 
old and sick father, so as to beguile him out of 
the headache and rheumatism? Canst write a 
good and straight-forward letter of business 1 
Thou wast a chemist, I remember, at the exami- 
nation — canst compound, prepare, and afterward 
boil or bake a good pudding ? Canst make one 
of the. hundred subordinate ornaments of thy 
fair person ? In short, tell us thy use in exist- 
ence, except to be contemplated as a pretty pic- 
ture.' And how long will any one be amused 
with the view of a picture, after having surveyed 
it a dozen times, unless it have a mind, a heart, 
and we may emphatically add, the perennial value 
of utility ? I have no conception of a beauti- 
ful woman, or a fine man, in whose eye, in whose 
port, in whose whole expression, this sentiment 
does not stand embodied — ' I am called by my 
Creator to duties. I have employment on earth. 
My sterner but more enduring pleasures, are in 
discharging my duties.' Compare the sedate 
expression of this sentiment in the countenance 
of man or woman, when it is known to stand as 
the index of character, and the fact, with the mere- 
tricious gaudiness of a simple, good-for-nothing 
belle, who disdains usefulness and employment — > 
whose empire is a ball-room, and whose subjects, 
dandies as silly and as useless as herself. Who 
of the two, has most attractions for a man of 
27 



314 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 

sense ? Parents of thought, and virtue, and 

example, are called upon to look to this evil. 
Instead of training your sons to waste their 
time as idle young gentlemen at large — instead 
of inculcating on your daughters, that the in- 
cessant tinkling of a harpsichord, or a scornful 
and lady-like toss of the head, or dexterity in 
waltzing, are the chief requisites to make their 
way in life ; if you can find no better employ- 
ment for the one, teach him the use of the grub- 
bing-hoe, and learn the other to make up gar- 
ments for your servants."* 

This language is deserving of great weight. 
The enjoyment and prosperity of woman, and 
those connected with her, depend much more 
upon her skill in domestic affairs, than many 
young ladies seem to imagine. And young men 
of sense and discretion view this qualification 
as by no means a trifling one. They will take 
measures to ascertain the amount of domestic 
knowledge possessed by ladies, before they choose 
them for wives. They will not select a "paint- 
ed butterfly, fit only for the sunny days of pros- 
perity," who fade into ill-tempered termagants 
when adversities come, and are unprepared for 
any of the useful duties of life. But more wise- 
ly, they will choose her who will become a 
help-mate indeed — one who can smile in ad- 
versity as well as in prosperity — one who can 

♦ Western Monthly Review. 



DOMESTIC DUTIES. 315 

co-operate in retaining what is already possessed, 
or if misfortune overtake, who can assist in re- 
gaining what has been lost. The young man 
who possesses the characteristics that are calcu- 
lated to make the woman of his choice happy 
through life, so far from being captivated, is dis- 
gusted by those ladies who are 

"Bred only and completed to the taste 

Of fretful appetence — to sing— to dance — 

To dress, and to troll the tongue, and roll the eye — 

Yet empty of all good wherein consists 

Woman's domestic honor and chief grace." 

It requires but a slight glance into the affairs 
of community, to discover instances where the 
ignorance of the wife in domestic duties, has 
been one fruitful cause of involving the husband 
in bankruptcy. " A gay young person of nine- 
teen, who had married a respectable tradesman, 
soon after she left a boarding-school, had a young 
friend in similar circumstances, who was la- 
menting their mutual ignorance, and expressing 
her fears that they should be unable, little as 
they knew of domestic management, to acquit 
themselves well in their new situations. ' Dear 
me,' was the reply, ' I do not trouble my head 
about that ; the maids will do these things.' It 
is almost superfluous to record the sequel. Her 
husband was a bankrupt in two years ! So 
well had the maids managed for her !" How 
many cases of this description are constantly 
occurrinsr ! 



316 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 

Young ladies can not expect to be placed in 
any circumstances in this republic, which will 
justify them in remaining in ignorance of do- 
mestic duties. Suppose you are wealthy, and 
are confident you will continue so in the mar- 
riage state, still it is very important that you 
should be well skilled in domestic affairs. With- 
out this knowledge, how entirely incompetent are 
you to preside over the affairs of a household. 
The impositions, inconveniences, and vexations, 
under which you would labor, on account of your 
ignorance, can easily be conceived. I do not 
pretend that every wife should herself engage in 
all the household transactions; although indus- 
trious exercise in domestic occupations, can not 
fail to benefit the health. The amount and 
character of her labors should be in accordance 
with her condition and tastes. But I insist that 
every wife, however affluent her circumstances, 
should be well versed in domestic duties — should 
know how they ought to be discharged! In 
every household there must be some head, to 
direct its expenses and superintend the whole 
economy of its domestic transactions. If the 
wife is capable of this station, and if she is 
sufficiently interested in the affairs of her hus- 
band, to be zealous in the discharge of its du- 
ties, every thing will be conducted in a proper 
manner. She will see that there is no extrava- 
gance, no unnecessary waste, and that every 
thing is done in the proper time and manner. 



DOMESTIC DUTIES. 317 

And her reward for this devotion to the interests 
of her family, will be, not only a saving in a 
pecuniary point of view, but a comfort, a satis- 
faction, an enjoyment, that can not be obtained 
in any other manner. But if the mistress of the 
household is ignorant of domestic affairs, or in- 
different in regard to the manner in which they 
are discharged by others, she must trust all to 
domestics, who have no interest at stake. And 
when domestics perceive that the mistress is ig- 
norant or regardless of the internal interests of 
the family, and that they are left to their own 
management, they are exceedingly liable to re- 
lapse into wasteful and indolent habits, and 
order, economy, neatness, and comfort, will flee 
the devoted dwelling, to make room for confu- 
sion, prodigality, sloth, bankruptcy, and wretch- 
edness. 

These remarks have been made upon the sup- 
position that you will be surrounded by the ad- 
vantages of a fortune. But are you quite sure 
that you will marry wealthy ? Or, if so, are you 
fully assured that you will continue in affluent 
circumstances through life ? The former may be 
considered doubtful, and the latter is doubly un- 
certain. How many who have entered the mar- 
riage state with fair prospects of continued 
wealth and prosperity, have in a few years, and 
even in a few months, been reduced to poverty 
and want ! Were this to be your fate — and it is 
quite probable it will be experienced by some who 
27* 



318 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 

peruse tnese lines — how ranch your misfortune 
would be increased by an ignorance of domestic 
duties. The comfort of your husband and family 
depending, in a great degree, upon your domestic 
exertions, and yet you entirely incapable of 
performing even the most common and necessary 
operations ! The husband would soon learn with 
sorrow, that although in affluence you might have 
been an agreeable companion, yet in adversity, 
when it became necessary for you to discharge 
the real duties of a wife and mother, you are 
most wretchedly deficient and useless. 

It can not be necessary to urge this subject to 
a greater extent. Every young lady possessing 
a moiety of discernment, must perceive the pro- 
priety of qualifying herself to discharge, faithfully 
and efficiently, all the duties that will hereafter 
devolve upon her. Domestic economy is as 
strictly a branch of female education, as any other 
study, and the best method of acquiring knowl- 
edge upon this subject, is by actual experience! 
You may become familiar with the theory of 
housewifery, but without practice, it will be of 
little avail. " When you actually put your hand 
to the work, you will begin to learn ; but unless 
you put your hand to it frequently, and learn to 
think it no dishonor to engage in any thing ap- 
pertaining to the economy' of a family, you can 
never expect to become an accomplished house- 
keeper." Parents should be peculiarly attentive 
to this subject. The mother very much mistakes 



DOMESTIC DUTIES. 319 

the interest of her daughters — yea, she sins against 
that interest, and violates the maternal obliga- 
tions — in allowing them to remain in ignorance 
of domestic duties. She should see that they are 
well skilled and perfected in these matters — for 
until they are so, they are mi prepared for the 
matrimonial state. She should cause her daugh- 
ters to become acquainted with the kitchen and 
its affairs. The kitchen can be made as respec- 
table as the parlor, and much more useful. The 
hum of domestic industry, is a music as proper 
to be made by young ladies, as that from the 
piano — and it is far more valuable and health- 
ful. I can not conceive why it is not as proper, 
as respectable, as genteel, for the daughter to 
engage habitually and industriously in the do- 
mestic affairs of the household, as for the son to 
enter the mechanic's shop, or tend behind the 
counter, or engage in the study of law, medicine, 
or divinity. Each are but preparing themselves 
for the discharge of those duties which, in after 
life, will devolve upon them. And the pa- 
rents who neglect to qualify their daughters for 
those affairs in which they must hereafter en- 
gage or superintend, are as deficient in duty 
as those who fail to give their sons useful occu- 
pations. 

Let it, then, be your aim, young ladies, to be- 
come proficient and expert, by practice, in all the 
domestic duties of a household. You will thus 
profitably employ your minds, minister to th« 
I 



320 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 

health of your bodies, and become competent of 
making yourselves useful^ as well as agreeable, 
to those with whom you may hereafter be con- 
nected. 



CHAPTER VIL 

DRESS. 

It would appear from the admonitions of the 
Apostles Paul and Peter,* that the ladies, in 
their day, were in the habit of arraying and orna- 
menting their persons, in a manner which these 
teachers deemed rather indecorous. As the pre- 
cautions of the apostles, upon this subject, were 
not extended to men, it is supposed that females 
in ancient times, were more given to excess in 
dress, than the other sex. And it is sometimes 
thought that these distinctive characteristics of 
the sexes, continue to the present day. Without 
pretending to decide upon this point, I must be 
permitted to say, that the time, attention, and ex- 
pense, bestowed on dress, by many females, 
give no inconsiderable strength to the above 
supposition. But allowing it to be true, that fe- 
males are more inclined to excess in dress than 
men, the cause I suppose to exist, not so much in 

* 1 Tim. ii. 9. 1 Pet. iii. 3, 4. 

321 



322 DRESS. 

any greater degree of inherent vanity or love of 
display, as in the disparity in their condition and 
occupations. Men are engag-ed, the greater pro- 
portion of the time, in the business transactions, 
the stirring scenes of public life; and their minds 
being thus absorbed, are not so liable to give 
much importance to the trivial subject of dress. 
But females, being debarred, to a great extent, 
by the usages of society, from participating in 
those busy affairs that are of a public character, 
are thrown upon the immediate resources of the 
imagination, to supply this deficiency. And, 
moreover, believing their prosperity depends 
much upon their exterior appearance, they have 
been compelled, as it were, to allow dress to 
form an important item in their occupation and 
their thoughts. 

That due attention should be given to dress by 
females, and that, in this manner, by a judicious 
display of correct taste, they can improve their 
appearance and personal attractions, are indispu- 
tably true. But ladies should know, if they are 
not already aware of it, that there is such a thing 
as intempera7ice in dress! — that, like every other 
blessing of Providence, when dress is indulged in 
to excess, when the love of it degenerates into a 
passion, it becomes an evil, entailing misfortune 
and wretchedness. Excess is intemperance. And 
that ladies sometimes dress to excess, can not be 
doubted by those who are blessed with sight. 

Many evils arise from an excessive love of 



I 



DRESS. 323 

dress. It absorbs the mind to the neglect of use- 
ful avocations- Young ladies would do well to 
remember that they were not created solely to 
dress and adorn their persons. There are duties, 
important responsible duties, which will devolve 
upon djeni in the several stations and relation- 
ships^ey will be called to occupy. To be ena- 
bled to discharge them faithfully, it is necessary 
that yojLi should bestow much study, reflection, 
and foi;ethought upon them. But how can this 
be done, when the attention is wholly absorbed 
by dress ? The young lady who is wholly in- 
tent on adorning her person, is very liable to neg- 
lect the more important work of cultivating the 
mind. It may be noticed, as a general rule, that 
such ladies think little, and care less, about men- 
tal improvement — so that while without, all may 
be dazzling and perfect, within there is nought 
but a moral and mental waste, where lurks many 
an insidious foe to happiness. 

An excessive love for dress, leads to extrava- 
gance in other respects. The lady who deems it 
an object of the highest importance to float upon 
the very crest of the ebbing and flowing tide of 
fashionable dress, will imagine it essentially ne- 
cessary that an equal style should be observed in 
all that pertains to her. If she enters the mar- 
riage state, houses, and furniture, and equipage, 
must correspond with dress, and she plunges in- 
to needless expenditures, which often end in ruin. 
How many who have started in life with the 



324 DRESS. 

fairest prospects, have speedily been brought to 
bankruptcy and poverty, by an inordinate love of 
display. 

An intemperate attachment to dress, is destruc- 
tive to health, as it invariably leads to a mode of 
dress, directly at war with the construction and 
wants of the human body. It is a fact no less 
shocking than true, that thousands of female sin 
the United States, are annually hurried, to an 
early grave, solely by those torturous improprie- 
ties in dress, which are dictated by fashion. 
Every well mformed physician will bear witness 
to the correctness of this declaration. It is truly 
surprising that young ladies, who possess the or- 
dinary powers of reflection granted to rational 
beings, will deliberately persevere, in face of the 
startling, horrid array of facts before them, and 
contrary to the admonitions of the enlightened, 
the wise, and the prudent, in dressing in such a 
manner as to undermine the most vigorous con- 
stitutions, induce painful diseases, and hasten 
premature death ! There is an infatuation in re- 
gard to this evil, that is wholly uu accountable.* 
If young ladies will not listen to the advice of 
friends, or the warning of physicians, I beg them 
to open an ear to that sepulchral voice whjch 
comes up from myriads of " the early dead," who 
have been consigned to the cold grave, by their 
miserable slavery to the cruelties of fashion ! 

♦ The reader can not mistake the evil to which I refer, 
viz., U^U lacing. 



uuEss. 325 

The weekly bills of mortality througliout our 
country, display a record of the dissolution of 
multitudes of young and lovely beings, from dis- 
eases induced by improper dress, tha.t should 
strike terror to those whose practice is bringing 
them to the sanme fate. It is melancholy to re- 
flect how many who peruse these lines, will con- 
tinue, for the sake of dressing themselves in con- 
formity to the arbitrary laws of fashion, to brave 
the frightful catalogue of diseases, until death 
stares them in the face, and opens his icy arms to 
receive them in his embrace ! Allow me to ask 
the young lady whose eye is now resting here — 
are you one of this number? I trust not. It 
would be too much like arraying yourself in bri- 
dal robes to go down to the company of the dead ! 
If you must injure your health — if you must bring 
on death in the prime of life, I pray you do it in 
some good cause — in the cause of love, humanity, 
and duty — in a cause upon which you can look 
back with satisfaction, even in the struggles of 
death. Be entreated not to court the embraces 
of the "king of terrors," by a course so nearly 
suicidal as that which I am condemning ! Do I 
magnify the danger 1 Ask your physician — ask 
the learned physiologist — ask the dying — ask the 
dead! 

Not the least surprising thing in relation to 

this evil, is, that so many parents should look 

calmly on and behold their daughters committing 

this self-murder, without taking any decisive 

28 



S26 DRESS. 

measures to prevent it — yea, perhaps approving' 
of it. Mothers often exhibit an ignorance, a care- 
lessness, a fatuity, in this respect, that excites 
the astonishment and sorrow of the reflecting'. 
They have a duty to discharge, regarding the 
dress of their daughters, which they can not neg- 
lect without incurring deep guilt. How many 
mothers, when it is too late, when insidious dis- 
ease is laying its palsying hand upon the life- 
springs of beloved daughters, would sacrifice the 
wealth of the Indies, could they but recall them 
to the days of childhood, and restore that health 
which has been destroyed by their infatuated 
blindness ! 

An inordinate love of dress involves its vic- 
tims in a servile bondage to the caprice of others. 
For whom do they dress? — for whom do they 
expend time and money, and invite the approach 
of poverty and disease? Not for themselves, 
surely — for when they are in retirement, all finery 
is laid aside.* No — they dress for others alone — 
for the public gaze — for the eyes of the multitude. 
They appear to feel bound by the most imperious 
necessity, to sacrifice ease and comfort, and exert 



♦ It would be well for young men to know, that not a 
few of those ladies who run to the greatest excess in their 
dress for pubUe sliow, are the most slatternly and carelesa 
when in seclusion. To test the correctness of this re- 
mark, call upon them in some hour when they do not 
expect company, and a moment's contemplation will 
sliow, that display, and not neatness, is their riding pas^ 
sion. 



DRESS. 327 

ail their art to attract the attention of the throng. 
And in the fulfihnent of this supposed obligation, 
they will exhibit an assiduity, a perseverance, 
which is unfortunately wanting in the discharge 
of all the worthy and useful duties of life ! Is not 
this a state of dishonorable slavery to the whims 
of the thoughtless ? There is an anecdote so ap- 
propriate to this point, that I can not forbear rela- 
ting it. " A priest of China sedulously followed 
a splendidly dressed mandarin through the streets, 
bowing and thanking him for his kindness. En- 
raged at his pertinacity, the mandarin demanded 
what he meant. ' To thank you for the use of 
your rich dress and jewels,' was the calm reply, 
' Why,' said the astonished mandarin, ' I never 
loaned them to you.' ' No,' said the priest, ' but 
you have allowed me to look at them, which is 
all the enjoyment you can derive from them, ex- 
cept, perhaps, the pleasure of taking care of them, 
and that is a pleasure I do not covet.' " 

" But should we not follow the fashions of the 
day," exclaims the fair reader. Most certainly, 
so far as those fashions comport with good taste, 
modesty, economy, and health. But when they 
violate either of these requisites to female attrac- 
tions and usefulness, they should be rejected as 
decidedly as other practices of an immoral and 
unhealthful character ! What is fashion in dress, 
and whence does it emanate ? It is the vitiated 
taste of a few of the unprincipled dress-makers 
in France, who give it all its fluctuations and ex- 



328 ORES?. 

travagance, solely to fill their coffers. Are Amer- 
ican ladies generally aware, that in this respect 
they have, to a great extent, become the dupes of 
Parisian dress-makers and milliners ? The prints 
and patterns which they despatch to this country, 
are not copied from llie dress of ladies of high 
standing and good taste. They are devised by 
French mantua-makers, and sent to America for 
the purpose of keeping open here a market for 
their second-hand laces and cast-oif tawdry. — 
These assertions are perfectly well founded. 
Mrs. Willard, a celebrated American lady, who 
travelled a few years since in France, describing 
in her Foreign Journal, a well dressed French 
"woman, who was ridiculing tbe "prints" prepared 
to be sent to this country, exclaims, " A thought 
struck me at that moment, which made me half 
weep. These figures, said I to myself, thus ridi- 
culed by those who understand dress in perfec- 
tion — by which the very milliners of Paris, who 
send them abroad, would not, for the sake of good 
taste, (modesty out of the question,) dress them- 
selves — these are the very patterns by v/hich my 
young and lovely countrywomen are making 
themselves up — the idols to which they some- 
times sacrifice decency and propriety !" It is 
earnestly hoped that this deeply humiliating 
statement will have an influence to dampen the 
ardor of many of our ladies, in servilely imitating 
those foreign prints, with which our fashionable 
emporiums abound. 



DRESS. 329 

Could those young ladies who imitate every 
■extravagance in fashion, but be aware how ridic- 
ulous and repulsive they frequently make them- 
selves appear to the eyes of those persons whose 
regard they would win, how differently would 
they conduct. 

" O wad some power the giftie gie Us, 
To see oursels as others see us, 
It wad frae monie a blunder free U3, 
And foolish notioti." 

The most abandoned of the female sex, can and 
do flaunt in attire as gay and fashionable, as the 
respectable. Hence, young ladies can not be too 
often reminded, that dress is a worthless founda- 
tion upon which to base their claims to the re- 
spect and affection of gentlemen. Who, in these 
days, ever thinks of judging of the character of a 
lady by the fashion of her habiliment ? It would 
be as uncertain a criterion as the color of her eye, 
or the height of her stature. By this criterion, the 
virtuous and the vicious can not be distinguished; 
and if there v/as no other badge of excellence, all 
would be upon the same level ! Discreet and 
sensible young men never fall in love with dress 
— it has little or no influence in guiding their 
affections. They do not look to the outward at- 
tire — which alike covers the good and the evil — 
to discover the excellences of a lady, but to the 
intrinsic moral and intellectual worth of the 
wearer. A well cultivated mind, a sweet, gentle 
disposition, with a plain, simple garb, possess far 

28* 



530 r>RKss. 

more powerful attractions, that an ignorant mind 
and a perverse disposition, arrayed in all the 
finery that ever was invented by that most fertile 
in expedients of all human soils, the imagination 
of a dress-maker. Never, therefore, dress with 
the expectation of being esteemed by community, 
or loved by any, or account of the texture, shape, 
color, or expense of your attire. All anticipations 
of this character, can be entertained but to end in 
disappointment and chagrin. 

I would, by no means, influence young ladies 
to be negligent or indifferent in regard to dress. 
I would have them bestow upon it all the atten- 
tion it properly deserves. It is the excess, the 
intemperance in dress, and a servile bondage to 
the caprices of fashion, against which I would 
caution you. And I again warn you that you can 
not be too particular in so dressing as not to in- 
jure health. You should remember that you 
have lungs, and that to insure health, the chest 
must be permitted to expand without opposition, 
that the lungs may have free and full play. If 
you dress in such manner as to prevent the ex- 
pansion of the chest and the full inflation of the 
lungs, unavoidable disease ensues, and early death 
follows. Mothers should understand these facts, 
and should bear them in mind when superintend- 
ing the attire of their daughters. 

Let your dress always comport with neatness, 
propriety, and economy. Never swerve from the 
dictates of these standards. Neatness will pre- 



DRESS. 331 

vent you from arraying yourself in gewgaws and 
tinsel, and running after all the absurdities of 
fashion, and will dictate an adaptation of dress to 
your form, complexion, age, and circumstances. 
It will allow of no extremes, either in extrava- 
gance or oddity. It will teach those who are 
fair, that " beauty unadorned, is adorned the 
most,'^ and those v/ho are plain, that simplicity 
will add far more to their attractions, than gaudy 
trappings. Dr. Johnson once remarked, that a 
certain lady was dressed the best of any he had 
ever seen j for but a moment after having con- 
versed with her, he could not recollect what she 
had on. That is she had nothing odd, vain, or 
unbecoming in her attire. Propriety will forbid 
dressing in any manner that will violate that 
modesty which is the charm of your sex, or fol- 
lowing any fashion that will undermine your 
constitution, or in the least degree injure your 
health. Economy will dictate the necessity of 
always dressing within your means; and it will 
also show you the impropriety and deep folly of 
involving yourself, or any with whom you are 
connected, in debt, to array your body in useless 
and silly finery ! 



CHAPTER VIII. 

RECREATIONS. 

Many of the remarks addressed to young men, 
in regard to amusements, will also apply to 
ladies — especially in respect to the excess into 
which human nature is liable to run. We love 
whatever is pleasing. This love induces a con- 
tinuance in those recreations which afford pleas- 
ure ; and unless reason is allowed to exercise 
due control, those practices will he persevered in, 
until they become sources of pain instead of hap- 
piness. It is highly important that young ladies 
should possess true views of the nature and de- 
sign of the recreations proper for them ; as an 
ignorance or want of precaution on this point, 
has been a fruitful source of degradation and ruin 
to countless multitudes of their sex. 

What IS recreation ? It is not slumber, or stu- 
por, or idleness ; but it is simply a change of 
employment ! Recreation to the student, is to go 
out to exercise in the open air. But to the man 
whose body calls for much bodily exercise, it is 

332 



RECREATION'S. 333 

a recreation to enter the student's library and 
peruse his books. The young lady who engages 
constantly in needle-work, or any sedentary em- 
ployment, to find recreation, must enter upon 
some active occupation; but she who is habit- 
ually employed in the stirring duties of domes- 
tic life, will find equal amusement in occasional- 
ly plying the industrious needle. The design of 
recreation is, by a change of posture and employ- 
ment, to call into exercise portions of the body, 
and faculties of the mind, that were in repose, 
and to give rest to those that were active — health 
and vigor are the fruits of this change. When 
the brain of the scholar becomes weary, he should 
relinquish his mental struggle, and call into action 
the muscular powers of his body. But when the 
body of the laborer is exhausted with toil, he 
should rest from his toil, and call his mental fac- 
ulties into labor, by reading or instructive conver- 
sation. Both will experience enjoyment, and be 
benefited by the change. But mark and remem- 
ber, it is the change only that causes the enjoy- 
ment. When recreation of any character, is con- 
tinued beyond a certain degree or duration, plain- 
ly indicated by reason, its nature changes, and it 
becomes a labor, instead of an amusement. This 
is a plain hint from nature, that all recreations in 
order to be valuable and beneficial, must be en- 
gaged in moderately and temperately. And I 
will here repeat, that to enjoy any amusement, 
young people must prepare themselves for it, by 



334 RECREATION.?. 

previous industry and deprivation, of a character 
different from the recreation to be engaged in. 

From these remarks, it will be perceived that 
the gratification of the passions, is not the entire 
design and end of recreation. The healthy state, 
both of body and mind, depends upon proper re- 
laxations and changes. Nature is rigid in her 
exactions in this respect ; and whoever violates 
them, must suffer that penalty of pain and disease 
which she affixes. Moderate and judicious rec- 
reation, therefore, is not only proper, but is a duty 
which must be discharged, to insure health. But 
still there is danger, in a greater or less degree 
always attending amusements. It is evident that 
many practices called recreations, are not such, 
properly speaking. Some of those practices are 
plainly sinful, and should, consequently, be strict- 
ly avoided. Others are wrong, because they pro- 
duce more injury than benefit — and others still, 
are dangerous, because although, perhaps, inno- 
cent in themselves, their tendency is to induce 
that excess which is evil. Permit me to cite 
your attention to a few of the most dangerous of 
those practices to which young ladies frequently 
resort for recreation. 

Dancing is one of the most fascinating amuse- 
ments of youth. It may be called nature's rec- 
reation. The various species of beasts in the 
full tide of their happiness, gambol over the plain, 
and throw their bodies into fantastic shapes. 
Dancing is a recreation resorted to by all nations. 



RECREATIONS. SB'S 

Prom the most polished circles of civilizatioDj 
down to the wigwam of the savage, it exerts its 
"witching sway." In ancient days, and still 
among various nations of modern ages, dancing 
was, and is, one of the amusements, in times of 
exultation and rejoicing. The Saviour mentions, 
that when the prodigal son returned, there was 
music and dancing. National dances were for- 
merly engaged in, when celebrating important 
victories. When the Israelites had crossed the 
Red Sea in safety, we read that " Miriam the 
prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in 
her hav d ; and all the women went out after her, 
with timbrels and dances." When Saul and 
David were returning from the slaughter of the 
Philistines, " the women came out of all the 
cities of Israel, singing and dancmg, to meet 
King Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with in- 
struments of music." Dancing was also a re- 
ligious ceremony of rejoicing. When the Ark 
of the Lord was brought up to Jerusalem, David 
danced before it as it proceeded " with sound of 
the cornet, and with trumpets, and with cymbals, 
making a noise with psalteries and harps." In 
modern times, a portion of the Eastern Dervish- 
es, and a sect of Friends, called " Shakers," 
make dancing a part of their religious exercises. 
That dancing, when cultivated as an exercise^ 
is proper and healthful, is undeniable. Such an 
exercise for females especially, whose habits are 
usually sedentary, must be of a salutary charac- 



336 RECREATIONS. 

ter. But still, dancing has become the source ot 
great evil. As it is conducted in our own times, 
it usually causes much more injury than benefit. 
The intoxicating beverage usually drank — the 
unhealthy viands partaken of — the improper man- 
ner of dressing, which so confines the lungs, that 
when they require the most play, they have the 
least — the late hours, the over fatigue, and the 
exposure to cold and damp — all combine to make 
modern dancing assemblies the prolific sources 
of dissipation and disease. Such convocations 
should be condemned most decidedly, by all who 
are interested in the welfare of the young. I 
would most earnestly caution young ladies against 
attendmg them, or giving them their countenance. 
They are not justified by Scripture, reason, or 
experience. But dancing in private circles, in 
the presence of friends and relatives, engaged in 
temperately, with proper precautions, I consider 
an appropriate and healthful recreation. It is the 
abuse of this exercise, against which I would 
warn you. The good sense of every discreet 
young lady, aided by the advice of parents or 
guardians, will instruct her as to the proper time 
and occasion, when she should engage in this 
recreation. 

Card-playing is often engaged in by young 
ladies. Although this practice may not be so 
deleterious as dancing, under improper circum- 
stances, still, young women can pass their time 
in some other manner, far more to their improve- 



RECREATIONS. 337 

ment, both in mind and manners. A lady at a 
card-table, always seems out of her proper place. 
There is something in its associations so mascu- 
line, so entirely opposed to womanly delicacy 
and propriety, that a female appears to step doAvn 
from her appropriate sphere, in engaging in game 
with cards. 

Referring you for further remarks on this sub- 
ject, to my suggestions to young men, and also 
to what I there said on theatrical amusements, 
I merely add, that those remarks will apply, with 
more impressive force to the young lady ; inas- 
much as female character is more delicate in 
public estimation, and her sensibility more re- 
fined in fact, than that of the gentleman. I there- 
fore reiterate here, with renewed earnestness, all 
the warnings and remonstrances I have there ut- 
tered. 

There are many recreations in which young 
ladies can engage, that are both proper and ben- 
eficial. All amusements should, if possible, be 
made instructive, as well as healthful. Exercise 
in open air, when the weather is favorable, is 
highly beneficial to females. And a walk through 
the fields, can be made to instruct the mind, as 
well as to invigorate the body. A slight acquaint- 
ance with the principles of botany and geology, 
will enable you to obtain much amusement and 
instruction, in examining the class and nature of 
plants and flowers, and the structure and compo- 
sition of soils, stones, and rocks. The young 
29 



338 RECREATIONS. 

ladies of this country, are generally very de- 
ficient in giving themselves exercise; and in this 
respect are far behind those of some foreign 
countries. " The English girls, it is well knoM^n, 
will walk five or six miles with ease. They are 
never afraid of the air. They do not reason as 
our girls do, that to be pretty and " interesting," 
they must be livid, pale, and consumptive ; and 
in order to be so, exclude themselves from the 
open air, from walks and parks. But they reason 
naturally, that health is beauty, and that sickness 
is otherwise. English girls, it is said, are almost 
the only girls who climb up the sides of the Alps, 
or struggle ankle deep, up the ashes of Mount 
Vesuvius." " How often," says Miss Wakefield. 
" has an anxiety for the delicacy of the complex- 
ion, or the apprehension of her being a romp, re- 
strained a girl from the indulgence of enjoying 
with any one, exercise \r a sufficient degree to 
secure her from that feeble, sickly, languid state, 
which frequently renders her not only capricious, 
but helpless throughout the whole of her life,'* 
"Let the utmost attention be paid to the physical 
education of females, not simply to their diet, 
temperance, and cleanliness, but to the practice 
of bodily exercise. Let them have such physi- 
cal recreation as shall be consistent with their 
delicacy of sex, and as shall serve to procure for 
them vigorous constitutions and sound minds. 
Strengthen their physical powers, and you may 
then give energy to their intellectsj brilliant tints 



RECREATIONS. 339 

of beauty to their persons, animation to their 
Sfpirits, and grace to their manners."* 

Music is a recreation peculiarly appropriate to 
young ladies. I would have every young woman 
cultivate her taste for music. The Creator could 
have had no object in bestowing musical powers 
upon us, but that they should be developed and 
trained to execution. Music exercises the mind, 
and has a purifying and softening influence upon 
the disposition. This amusement, however, 
should not be permitted to interfere with the 
more vigorous recreations, or with the ordinary 
and useful occupations of life. 

Social parties are proper for young ladies. — ' 
They bring different minds, dispositions, and 
manners in contact, to the mutual benefit of all. 
The time at such parties, should not be frittered 
away in frivolous pursuits and idle conversation. 
Useful and interesting topics should be intro- 
duced, upon which the company can freely and 
pleasantly interchange their opinions. To in- 
struct each other in desirable accomplishments 
and valuable information, should be the general 
object. 

It is hardly necessary to remark, that young 
women can find at home, many means of profita- 
ble recreation. Numberless little attentions and 
kindnesses to parents and friends — the instruction 

* Address on Female Education, by Rev. Charles Bur- 
roughs. 



340 RECREATIONS. 

and improvement of younger brothers and sisters 
— perusing aloud some valuable publication for 
the edification of the family circle — all will afford 
the purest satisfaction and enjoyment. In fine, 
let your recreations always be characterized by 
delicacy, discretion, and moderation, and bene- 
ficial results of a corresponding character, will be 
your reward. 



CHAPTER IX 



MENTAL CULTIVATION, 



That female education has heretofore been la- 
mentably deficient, is a position which admits of 
not a doubt. In past ages woman has been kept 
in a state of almost entire ignorance, in regard to 
the most important branches of human attain- 
ment, and has been compelled, in a measure, to 
occupy her attention with the trivial matters of 
life. Without pretending to decide the contro- 
verted question, whether the gentler sex are capa- 
ble of rivalling man in the highest walks of lit- 
erature, still, I do not hesitate to say, that they 
are capable of making far greater advances in 
every branch of useful knowledge, than they have 
hitherto done : and also that they can equal the 
generality of men in mental attainments, when 
placed in circumstances equally favorable. In- 
deed in modern days, many ladies have appeared 
as shining lights in the literary world. And 
although they have not so generally grappled with 
Uie abstruse sciences, yet in the lighter grades 
29* 341 



342 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 

of literature — in vivid descriptions of tlie gentlest, 
purest and noblest characteristics of human na- 
ture — in the bright pictures of the imagination — 
in chaste displays of taste and sentiment — in re- 
proof, admonition and advice — they have not 
been surpassed by their male competitors. The 
names of More, Barbauld, Chapone, Aikin, Ham- 
ilton, Seward, De Stael, Landon, Porter, Hemans, 
Edgeworth and Martineau, in foreign lands, and 
of Sigourney, Leslie, Hale, Sedgwick, Stephens, 
Hentz, Gould, Ellet, Scott, Dodd, Edgarton, 
Broughton and Downer in our own country, will 
bear ample testimony to the high and beautiful 
capabilities of the female mind. 

Although female education, within the last half 
century, has been greatly improved, still it has 
not arrived at the perfection that is desirable. — 
The poor are engaged in such constant drudgery, 
that they are able to pay but little attention to 
mental cultivation, while the wealthy are fre- 
quently led to neglect it, by attaching an undue 
importance to showy rather than useful accom- 
plishments. Young ladies, as a class, are still 
too prone to attribute more consequence to the 
adorning of the outward person, than the culti- 
vation of the moral and intellectual powers — are 
too liable to imagine that their success in life, 
depends more upon beauty and accomplishments 
of person, than of mind. This belief many ac- 
quire, no doubt, from that fulsome flattery which 
is too generally bestowed upon female personal 



MENTAL CULTIVATION. 343 

beauty, by the other sex. So general is this prac- 
tice, that men of otherwise good sense, will fre- 
quently lend their aid in perpetuating this idola- 
try to the fleeting charms of outward beauty, to 
the neglect of those qualities in woman that are ] 
truly valuable. This conduct leads females to 
overlook their mental capabilities, to deem it of 
little importance to obtain those qualifications of 
mind and of habit upon which their happiness 
and the enjoyments of those connected with 
them will so deeply depend through life, and 
induces them to turn their whole attention to 
those charms and accomplishments, which are 
as empty and useless as the floating bubble. 

Young ladies should summon sufficient dis- 
crimination to perceive the origin of this adula- 
tion. They should understand that those who 
indulge in extreme flattery of their personal beau- 
ty, either possess such ignorant and shallow 
minds, as really to believe what they say, that 
nothing is so valuable as the charms of form and 
feature — or, knowing better, they hypocritically 
express their admiration, under the supposition 
that you are so vain and weak as to be pleased by 
their empty homage ! In either case, they im- 
pugn your good sense, and are unworthy your 
confidence or respect. The attentions of the ig- 
norant and of the hypocritical, should alike be 
discarded. 

I grant that personal beauty in a young lady, 
IS an advantage j and when united with a sweet 



344 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 

disposition and well cultivated mind, you have 
attractions that can not but win esteem. But I 
insist that loveliness of person without these val- 
uable qualifications, is a misfortune rather than a 
blessing. It will surround you by the utmost 
clangers — by fascinations and allurements, from 
which, owing to the weakness of your moral and 
mental powers, you will escape with difficulty, if 
at all. And suppose that by beauty of person 
alone, you succeed in obtaining a companion for 
life : of what value can that man be, who has 
been attracted by your features of form, without 
deeming any other qualification worthy a thought ? 
He connected himself with you for your beauty, 
and he loves your beauty only. And do you not 
perceive that when that beauty decays, as it inev- 
itably must, under the influence of disease or age, 
his regard will wither with it, and that the after 
years of your life, must be spent amid vain regrets 
and unavailing repinings? "We can not help 
remembering that the ordinary period of life is 
set at seventy years. The empire of beauty sel- 
dom lasts more than ten or fifteen. What is to 
sustain the beauty who has no other possession, 
in the dreary interval, when her roses have van- 
ished with her admirers, never to return?" If, 
then, you have been favored with personal beau- 
ty, add to it virtuous principles and the charms 
of a well cultivated mind, and you can then 
duly improve the advantages placed within your 
reach. 



MENTAL CULTIVATION. 345 

'' It is an old remark, that the most beautiful 
women are not always the most fascinating. It 
may be added, I fear, that they are seldom so. 
The reason is obvious. They are apt to rely too 
much on their beauty; or give themselves too 
many airs. Mere beauty ever was, and ever will 
be, a secondary thing, except with fools. The 
most fascinating women, generally speaking, are 
those that possess the finest powers of entertain- 
ing the mind. In a particular and attaching sense, 
they are those that can partake of the pleasures 
and pains of their friends in the liveliest and 
most devoted manner. Beauty is little without 
this. With it, she is indeed triumphant."* 

With the most plain and uninteresting features, 
you need not be without attractions. A well 
trained mind and a pleasant disposition, will put 
forth charms far more captivating to those who 
are capable of making you happy, and much more 
enduring than mere outward beauty. Although 
you may not attract immediate attention in first 
entering upon the stage of society, yet when 
your worth is fully appreciated, as it eventually 
will be, you will obtain a hold on the affections, 
that time can not annihilate. You will possess 
a loveliness which instead of being destroyed by 
sickness or time, will increase, and become bright- 
er and brighter as age advances — securing to you, 
love, affection, peace and enjoyment, all your 

* Criticism on Female Beauty. 



346 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 

days. The man who is won by the attractions 
of your mind and disposition, is worthy of you 
in every respect, and will be capable of appreci- 
ating all these excellencies of the heart which 
confer mutual happiness. " Knowledge, virtue 
and truth, are immortal. Time, age and death, 
can not touch them. Trust me, a plain young 
lady with a sound head and a well trained mind, 
and an amiable and well managed heart will find 
some way to aim a sharper and surer shaft, and 
inflict a more incurable wound, than a mere 
flourishing belle, who has nothing to show but 
her dress and her person." 

Beauty of face and person, and splendor of 
dress, are not to be compared in value to a well 
cultivated mind. The one is as evanescent as the 
morning cloud or the early dew ; but the other is 
as enduring as the sparkling gem of the mine. 
"There is, and there can be, nothing beautiful, 
except in so far as it is associated with mind. 
Show me a woman who knows how to converse 
pleasantly, to give judicious counsel and exhibit 
discreet management — who has the ability to 
know what to say, and how to act on any given 
emergency — who understands how to economize 
her wit if she has it — who comprehends how the 
utterance of scandal distorts the countenance — 
whose passions and affections are regulated, and 
who possesses the intrinsic tenderness and truth 
of the female character — and I will show you one 
who seems beautiful to me whatever face she 



MENTAL CULTIVATION. 347 

may happen to possess. It can not be repeated 
too often, that there is nothing truly beautiful 
but mind. Ask a father which of liis children he 
loves most, the pert and ignorant beautiful daugh- 
ter, or the plain but sensible, docile and well in- 
structed one?" Ask an intelligent, worthy young 
man, with which of those two young ladies it 
gives him the greatest satisfaction to associate 
and converse, the one with handsome form and 
complexion, but with an empty, uncultivated 
mind, or her whose personal appearance is plain, 
but who is well instructed, and sensible? "Ask 
husbands what points they most regard in their 
wives, their beauty, or their knowledge, amiabili- 
ty and good sense? I repeat again, there is 
nothing beautiful but mind I If I were a poet, 
you should have it in metre and in song, that a 
piony or a poppy is as splendid a flower as the 
rose. But let the one and the other be worn in 
your bosom, and compare their fragrance and val- 
ue at the end of a month. Knowledge compared 
to beauty, is the rose to the piony and poppy. In 
the family circle, and among those with whom 
we mix every day, the last thing of which we 
think, after seeing them a few times, is their 
personal beauty." Their worth is always esti- 
mated by their mental endowments and moral 
qualities. The witchcraft of personal beauty is 
soon dispelled by familiarity. Without attrac- 
tive mental and moral characteristics, it is im- 
possible to obtain the enduring affections of any. 



348 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 

" External allurements are continually losing ; in- 
ternal attractions are continually gaining. Sense, 
spirit, sweetness, are immortal. All besides, 
withers like the grass." When the mind is un- 
cultiA^ated and barren, in vain are displayed the 
rightest eye, the fairest face, and the sweetest 
smile. But even though the eye possesses little 
lustre, or the countenance little beauty, a well 
endowed, well disciplined mind, will elicit admi- 
ration and love. 

"Mind, mind alone, bear witness eartii and heaven, 
The living fountain in itself contains 
Of beauteous and sublime ! Here hand in hand 
Sit paramount the graces." 

These remarks might be much extended, but it 
can not be necessary. I trust enough has been 
said to awaken you to the importance of studying 
to adorn the mind, and of imparting to it those 
mental and moral qualities which are so attrac- 
tive to the eyes of the discreet and enlightened. 
You should not allow your thoughts to dwell 
loo much on beauty of person, outward orna- 
ments, or showy accomplishments. A proper at- 
tention to these is allowable ; but make them not 
your principal study — neither rely upon them as 
your chief attractions to win admiration or affec- 
tion. Their influence can attract none but weak 
and worthless minds. " Female loveliness can 
not be clothed in a more pleasing garb than that 
of knowledge. A female thus arrayed, is one of 
the most interesting objects — every eye rests upoa 



MENTAL CULTIVATION. 349 

her witli pleasure — the learned and wise, the 
young and the aged of the opposite sex, delight 
in her society, and affix to her respect and admi- 
ration. Ignorance and folly stand reproved in 
her presence ; and vice, in its bold career, shrinks 
abashed at her gaze. She moves the joy, the 
delight of the domestic circle ; she excites the 
praises, the admiration of the world. A female 
thus armed, thus equipped, is prepared to encoun- 
ter every trial which this uncertain state may 
tiring — to rise with proper elevation to the pinna- 
cle of fortune, or sink with becoming fortitude, 
into the abyss of poverty — to attain with cheerful 
serenity, the highest bliss, or endure with patient 
firmness, the depths of wo." Young ladies 
should cultivate a taste for the acquisition of 
useful knowledge — always selecting such sub- 
jects as will throw the most light upon the sta- 
tion you will probably occupy,and the duties you 
will be called upon to discharge. In this manner 
you will lay a broad foundation, upon which you 
can reasonably rest the hope of experiencing 
much enioyment through life. 
'' SO 



CHAPTER X. 



THE DISPOSITION. 



Situated as we are, in the midst of our fel- 
low-beings, constantly mingling and holding in- 
tercourse with them, we are made dependent up- 
on them, to no small extent, for the enjoyments 
of existence. But human nature, as developed 
in this life, is a strange medley of contradictions. 
Those faculties and propensities which the be- 
nevolent Author of our being conferred upon us 
for our benefit, frequently, from a neglect on our 
part of properly cultivating and controlling themj 
become the sources of unhappiness. Thus the 
social propensity — the desire to mingle with our 
race, which all human kind possess to a high de- 
gree — becomes the source of enjoyment or of 
wretchedness, as we duly understand and proper- 
ly cultivate its incentives, or neglect it, and allow 
it to be controlled solely by the unrestrained pas- 
sions. This social principle is possessed, in a 
peculiar manner, by females. They are, there- 
fore, deeply interested in its operations and influr 

350 



THE DISPOSITION. 351 

ences ; and it becomes a subject of no small im- 
portance to them, to know in what manner its 
highest enjoyments can be obtained. 

In your intercourse with your fellow-beings, 
the pleasure to be derived depends entirely upon 
the disposition which you cherish towards them. 
If you respect, esteem, and love them, your satis- 
faction in their society will be of a high degree. 
But if you envy, hate, or in any way dislike them, 
their presence becomes the source of unhappi- 
ness ; and even the thought of them, whenever it 
occurs, gives you disagreeable sensations. It is 
thus evident, that certain dispositions or feelings 
cherished towards others, are, in their influences, 
disagreeable and painful, while others of a differ- 
ent character, impart satisfaction and enjoyment. 
It is my object in this chapter, to notice briefly a 
few of the most prominent of these dispositions, 
of both classes. 

Envy is a disposition that frequently usurps a 
place in the mind. Its influences are of a degra- 
ding and painful character. Envy never impart- 
ed a pleasurable emotion to the human bosom, 
and never can — it is as contrary to its nature, as 
for ice to give out heat. It is not only a sinful 
disposition, but one of the most foolish that the 
young can well entertain. Will envying the ap- 
pearance, condition, or possessions of any indi- 
vidual, give you the desired object ? — will it con- 
fer upon you wealth, or influence, or splendid 
dresses, or any qualification, either moral, men- 



352 THE DISPOSITION. 

ta], or bodily ? Will it effect any change for the 
better in your circumstances, even the most tri- 
fling ? Why then permit this painful and malig- 
nant disposition to enter your bosom? Why 
make your heart the den of a scorpion, whose 
every sting is inflicted upon your own happiness? 
Why voluntarily permit an enemy to enter your 
mind, and drive out those true friends, peace and 
contentment ? 

Do you inquire how to deter this feeling from 
taking possession of your heart, or how to cast it 
out when once therein? I answer, hy rejieciion. 
Reflection is a light that will reveal the true 
nature of this hydra, and convince you of the in- 
consistency of cherishing it. Reflection will sat- 
tisfy you that there is not so much to be envied 
in the world, as many would seem to believe. 
To ascertain the real influences upon their pos- 
sessors, of those circumstances or possessions 
Ihat are the most common causes of envy, we 
must apply to those who have experienced them. 
Ask those who have participated in all the en- 
joyments that power, wealth, and splendor can 
bestow, if they should be envied by those in more 
ordinary circumstances. Abdoulrahman III., 
was one of the most powerful and prosperous of 
the Spanish kings of the Arabian race. Victo- 
rious and wealthy — surrounded by splendor and 
magnificence — every one imagined that he must 
be the happiest of mortals. But listen to his own 
account of his enjoyments, after reigning fifty 



THE DISPOSITION. 353 

years: "From the time I ascended the throne, I 
marked every day that afforded me true pleasure, 
and those days amounted to fourteen V To 
which he adds — " Mortals ! consider what this 
world is, and how little we ought to rely upon 
its pleasures." Pope Adrian VI., who arose from 
a poor barge-builder, to the Papal throne, desired 
the following inscription to be placed upon his 
tomb: — " Here lies Adrian VI., who deemed no 
misfortune which happened to him in life, so 
great, as his being called to govern." From 
these and many additional instances that might 
be cited, you perceive how entirely inadequate is 
power, or popularity, or wealth, or splendor, to 
confer happiness. Why, then, should you envy 
those who possess them ? Remember that gay 
dresses and splendid equipages are but glittering 
coverings which conceal, in general, even more 
wretchedness than tattered garments. Be con- 
tent, then, with your condition. An honest, vir- 
tuous, and benevolent heart will confer upon 
you a greater amount of pure happiness, than all 
the wealth of the world ! If your associates pos- 
sess enlightened minds and agreeable manners — 
if they are respected and loved by community — 
envy them not, but do that which is much bet- 
ter : endeavor to equal them in their good quali- 
fications, and you will soon share with them in 
the general respect. 

Jealousy is another disposition which you 
should be careful to avoid. Jealousy is justly 
30* 



354 THE DISPOSITION. 

termed "the green-eyed monster." It is a bitter 
foe to human happiness — it coils in the bosura 
like the serpent, and chokes the fountain of true 
enjoyment. If you would be blessed with peace, 
never permit jealousy to enter your mind. It 
will not only make you unhappy, but will cause 
you to do and say many things improper and 
ridiculous. Never be jealous that others are re- 
ceiving more attention and respect than yourself. 
If they are deserving of it, you should be willing 
that they should receive what they are justly en- 
titled to ; but if they are not worthy such atten- 
tions, you may be assured they can not long com- 
mand them. And in the meantime, study to 
make yourself agreeable, by an exhibition of the 
genuine excellences of the female mind and dis- 
position, and you will have no cause ol jealousy 
towards others. If your affections arc placed 
upon an individual worthy of them, he will be 
careful to give you no cause for jealousy. But 
if his conduct is of that improper character as to 
afford reasonable cause for jealousy, it is a cer- 
tain indication that he is not worthy your confi- 
dence or love, and you can not too soon break off 
all intercourse with him. There is, hence, no 
justification for harboring emotions of jealousy. 
They are painful, unbecoming, derogatory to 
your character, and should be spurned from every 
female heart. 

Young ladies should also avoid indulging ha- 
tred, anger, revenge, and all emotions of a like 



THE DISPOSITION. 355 

character. These are the baser passions of the 
human heart — exceedingly reprehensible in man, 
but in woman disgusting and horrible. What 
will more entirely eclipse the loveliness of the 
countenance, than a scowl of hatred, or a storm 
of anger ! And not only so, but how completely 
wretched do they cause those to become who in- 
dulge them ! Every improper disposition cher- 
ished towards another, infuses a poison into your 
peace and happiness — so that by indulging it, you 
but injure yourself. 

The most effectual method of destroying evil 
dispositions, is by cultivating good ones. Would 
you be respected, and esteemed, and loved? — 
would you render yourself agreeable and pleas- 
ing? — would you be received into the circle of 
your associates, with the approving smile of 
friendship and approbation? There is but one 
way to accomplish tliis, and that is, by adding te 
a virtuous character, a kind, friendly, and benev- 
olent disposition. How much these improve the 
attractions of a beautiful form and features ! and 
how engaging do they cause the most plain and 
ordinary to appear, who exhibit them in their 
conduct ! If you desire to be unesteemed, dis- 
liked, avoided — if you desire to be filled with 
anxiety and wretchedness — then you should be 
illtempered, morose, unkind, and uncharitable. 
But if you would secure the friendship and good 
will of others — if you would open in your own 
feosom a fountain of unfailing satisfaction -€X- 



"^56 THE DISPOSITION. 

hibit towards those with whom you associate, 
kindness, condescension, gentleness, forbearance, 
and evenness of temper, and you can not fail of 
accomplishing your object. What can be more 
captivating in a young lady, than a constant ex- 
hibition of kind emotions towards all around her 
—than a disposition to oblige, to make herself 
useful to her friends and all connected with her, 
and to display a placid sweetness of demeanor, 
that no circumstance can ruffle or disturb ? And 
howenchantingly lovely is a young woman over- 
flowing with pity and benevolence for the poor 
and unfortunate ! A lady who has a cold, un- 
feeling heart — who can look unmoved upon sor- 
row, and want, and distress, while she is sur- 
rounded by comfort and plenty — is an anomaly ! 
With such a disposition, of what avail are her 
fair complexion, and faultless features, and sym- 
metrical form? Every lovely attribute, when 
covering a heart of stone, becomes repulsive and 
abhorrent to the generous and noble mind. She 
is a " scentless flower, which shall blossom with- 
out esteem, and fall without regret !" But the 
female whose heart is susceptible of emotions of 
pity and generosity — who is eager to assuage 
misfortunes and relieve distress — adds a crown- 
ing excellency to her attractions, that can not 
fail to win admiration and esteem. If young 
ladies would promote their own prosperity and 
happiness, they must look well to the dispositions 
they cherish. Let them eradicate all that isevil, 



THE DISPOSITION. 357 

and cultivate whatever is virtuous and good — let 
them exhibit " affability of manners, gentleness 
of demeanor, attention to the courtesies of life, 
compassion towards all who suffer, whether high 
or low, a kind construction of all the words and 
actions of their fellow-creatures, and patient for- 
bearance, or generous forgiveness^ towards those 
who have grieved or injured them," and they 
will thus lay a safe and sure foundation for peace 
and happiness. 



CHAPTER Xh 

CONVERSATION. 

It is a prevalent supposition that ladies possess 
the faculty of " ready utterance, in a higher de- 
gree, as a general rule, than the other sex. This 
position is strengthened, when we consider the 
fluency and ease with which females, when un- 
embarrassed, communicate their thoughts. But 
this fluency of speech, when unguarded and un- 
restrained, becomes, not unfrequently, the fruit- 
ful source of evil. The character and prospects 
of ladies, depend much upon the matter and 
the manner of their conversation. To be enabled 
to select proper and useful subjects for conversa- 
tion, and to express themselves in an appropriate 
and pleasant manner, are accomplishments which 
every young female should strive to acquire, and 
the possession of which, will tend greatly to her 
advantage in society. 

It is true, nature is diversified in her gifts in this 
respect, as well as in others. To some she gives 
a greater aptitude or capability of expressing their 

358 



CONVERSATION. 359 

ideas in a fluent and graceful manner — while 
others find it difficult to speak in a mode satisfac- 
tory to themselves, or pleasing to others. But 
as appropriateness in conversation, depends not 
more upon the manner of speaking, than upon 
the character of the thoughts expressed, nature 
frequently equalizes her endowments, by giving 
unto those who are " slow and lame of speech," 
clear, strong, and expanded minds — so that the 
deficiency in their utterance is more than coun- 
terbalanced by the value of the sentiments they 
express . 

However, the faculty of conversation is ca- 
pable of great improvement. By proper appli- 
cation and attention, the most deficient in this 
respect, can learn, not only the proper subjects of 
conversation, but also to speak in an appropriate 
and agreeable manner. 

That there are evils growing out of an igno- 
rance upon this subject, admits of not a doubt. 
How much unhappiness has been caused by im- 
proper language. Who has not experienced the 
evils flowing from even one "unruly tongue" in 
the neighborhood ? How many misunderstand- 
ings, difficulties, feuds, animosities — how much 
contention, and discord, and warring — have been 
caused by " the little member," when it is "full 
of deadly poison !" Not only has society expe- 
rienced these evils, but they have extended them- 
selves to kingdoms. Nations have been involved 
in long and bloody wars, originating solely in the 



360 CONVERSATION. 

Utterance of a harsh expression, or an unguarded 
sentence. 

My suggestions upon this subject must neces- 
sarily be of a general character, relating more 
particularly to public intercourse, than to conver- 
sation with intimate friends and relatives in the 
private family circle. Although in the latter 
ease, the spirit, and in most instances the letter, 
of the remarks that follow, should be strictly ob- 
served. 

In conversation, guard against raising your 
voice to a high key. Young ladies frequently 
overlook this precaution. In the hilarity of their 
spirits, they are liable to indulge in a volume of 
voice, which, were they alone, would startle them. 
The improprieties of this practice, must be evi- 
dent. It is highly indelicate. There is a certain 
modesty and reserve which young ladies can na 
more overstep with propriety, in their language 
and voice, than in their personal manners. The 
practice of loud speaking, is not only indelicate, 
but it disturbs others. What can be more dis- 
agreeable than for a female voice to be raised to 
the alto key, and stun the rest of the company 
into silence. All eyes are riveted upon its owner, 
and in many a discreet mind, she becomes an ob- 
ject of censure and dislike. Neither should loud 
conversation in the public street, be indulged in — 
a habit which some young ladies think quite al- 
lowable and appropriate. But it is an offence 
against delicacy and propriety. Young women 



CONVERSATION. 361 

of commendable modesty, will be cautious how 
they attract the gaze of the throng in the public 
thoroughfare, by their loud speech, or rude be- 
havior. You cannot be too circumspect in your 
demeanor in public. An indiscretion, either in 
word or action exhibited there, is noticed by 
many, who will set it down much to your disad- 
vantage. 

Equally to be avoided is an affected, lisping, or 
drawling manner of speaking. By some, this is 
considered exceedingly polished and lady-like. 
But in this they greatly err. The real lady stud- 
ies to speak naturally^ and that is ever graceful- 
ly. An affected tone or pronunciation, evinces a 
weak mind — so weak, indeed, as to resort to this 
outward mincmg, to establish pretensions to gen- 
tility, instead of exhibiting those emotions of 
kindness and urbanity, which are the unfailing 
indications of genuine politeness. You greatly 
mistake, if you imagine your claims to the char- 
acter of a lady, can be established by affectation. 
This, so far from gaining you the esteem and re- 
spect of the listeners, will make you appear in- 
sipid and simple — devoid of taste and good sense. 
Many young ladies, by vain affectation in their 
language and manners, have often created dis- 
gust, where they might otherwise have gained 
respect. I repeat, in your conversation, speak ia 
your natural tone of voice, and with a pronun- 
ciation clear, distinct, and correct. Lexicogra- 
phers, as well as people of different countries and 
31 



362 CON ^TERSATION. 

communities, vary in regard to the rules of pr^ 
nunciation. Johnson and Walker, are both de- 
ficient in many respects. Webster is more chaste 
and natural, and in this country, is rapidly be- 
coming the general standard of pronunciation,* 

Be upon your guard against engrossing too 
much of the conversation in company. When 
you reflect how often the most guarded speak in 
a manner which they afterward regret — how 
often they converse on subjects, and relate cir- 
cumstances, and circulate reports that are im- 
proper — you will perceive the dangers which sur- 
round the unguarded and talkative ; and you will 
also perceive the necessity of allowing the judg- 
ment to hold with firm grasp, the reins of the 
tongue, that nothing of an injudicious character 
may be uttered. In company, if you can not 
speak to the purpose — if your tongue is liable ta 
run away with your sense — the less you say, the 
better. But if you can converse in a judicious 
and sensible manner, you still should avoid speak- 
ing too much, because others may have a desire 
to express their sentiments, as well as yourself. 
Few people have an inclination to remain silent 
by the hour, to listen to your words, however 
proper they may be ; but all desire to bear a part 
in the general flow of social conversation. I 
would not recommend an entire reserve, a total 
silence— this would be as much an extreme as 
volubility — though not so dangerous. Every 
young woman should exercise her judgment in 
♦ See Appendix. 



CONVERSATION. 36H 

this respect, and take such part in the general 
conversation, as circumstances and propriety dic- 
tate. HoAvever, "itvi^ere far better to leave a 
circle wishing, from what you have actually said, 
ihat you had said more, than out of patience with 
you for having talked so much." 

Young ladies should avoid conversing even in 
whispers, in assemblies convened for the worship 
of God, or for any public lecture. This practice 
is highly reprehensible. It disturbs both the 
speaker and the audience — especially those in 
your immediate vicinity. There is no greater 
manifestation of a lack of politeness, than this. 
When I behold young people, on such occasions, 
inattentive to the subjects that should engross 
their entire attention, and engaged in frequent 
whisperings, I instantly set them down as youth 
extremely ill bred, and entirely destitute of the 
most ordinary rules of decorum! 

Never allow yourself to speak evil of another, 
without the most ample evidence of their guilt. 
Mankind, in their best estate, are liable to err. 
There is enough, therefore, to be said of the real 
defects of ourselves as well as others, without at- 
tributing evil conduct to people, of which they 
are not guilty. You should be slow to believe 
reports detrimental to the good name of your 
neighbor, and still slower in spreading them 
abroad to the world. I urge you not to counte- 
nance or cover up vice — this would be very im- 
proper. But I would have you very cautious 



364 CONVERSATION. 

about believing or circulating staterrients detri- 
mental to the reputation of another, until you are 
fully and perfectly satisfied that they are guilty 
of the misrlemeanor alleged against them. — 
Neither withhold praise wherever it is due. It is 
a mark of a selfish and vain spirit, never to allow 
that any but yourself or your particular friends 
possess any talent, acquirement, or worth. But 
it is an indication of a generous and noble mind, 
to give credit to those who deserve it — to ac- 
knowledge the valuable qualities displayed even 
by an enemy. 

Do not allow yourself to indulge in ridiculing 
any, in regard to their dress or appearance — es- 
pecially the poor and the aged. This would 
evince an emptiness of mind, and a coldness of 
heart, deserving of deep reproof. The young 
lady who indulges in this practice, is unworthy of 
affection or respect. Having no heart to feel — 
no sense of propriety to direct — whoever becomes 
connected with her, will most certainly and keen- 
ly feel the evils flowing from these deficiencies. 
In company, you should avoid making any one 
the subject of much raillery, or the butt of wit- 
ticisms, or endeavoring to turn the laugh upon 
them. Those who indulge in tjiese practices, 
often unthinkingly gain enemies, when their only 
object was to cause merriment. And although 
it can hardly be necessary, yet I would caution 
young ladies against expressing themselves in 
coarse language, or interlarding their conversa- 



CONVERSATION. SCo 

tion with degrading epithets, or illustrating their 
views with low comparisons. I need not say 
that all these practices are opposed to female del- 
icacy and propriety. 

In conversation, always endeavor to be agree- 
able, pleasant, and sensible. These are no small 
additions to the attractions of a young lady. lii 
company it is not inappropriate to engage occa- 
sionally in grave and serious conversation, yet, 
generally, the topics should be of a cheerful char- 
acter, as the object of assembling in company, is 
to confer mutual enjoyment and satisfaction. But 
in allowing the conversation to be cheerful, care 
should be taken not to permit it to degenerate 
into the frivolous or ridiculous. The amusing 
and instructive should both be blended together, 
so as equally to interest and improve those who 
converse and those who listen. It is time wasted 
to engage in conversation that has not a tendency 
to enlighten and improve. 

To have your conversation interesting to others, 
it is necessary that you possess a well cultivated 
and well stored mind. Without this pre-requi- 
site, there is danger that it will be insipid and 
irksome to the discriminating. In despite of all 
precaution, the true qualities of the mind will 
develope themselves in a free interchange of 
thought. While the weakness and imbecility, 
the selfishness and vanity, of the ignorant and 
untrained mind, will become clearly visible — on 
ike other hand, the discipline and cultivation, tb^ 

31* 



S66 CONVERSATION. 

intrinsic excellences and valuable acquirements) 
of the enlightened understanding, will, without 
effort, brightly shine forth, and add beauty and 
interest to the possessor. This should be an ad- 
ditional inducement to influence young women 
to turn much of their attention to mental culti- 
vation. 

You will beware of egotism, as much as pos- 
sible. Let self, with its importance, its accom- 
plishments, and all its wonderful achievements, 
be forgotten in the desire either to please, interest, 
or instruct those with whom you converse, or in 
a disposition to learn from their superior wisdom 
or experience, wherein you was before deficient. 

Avoid the appearance of pedantry. Your tal- 
ents and acquirements should not be devoted to 
display alone, but to the instruction and edifica- 
tion of those with whom you associate. When- 
ever, therefore, you converse with those whose 
attainments are limited, instead of making- a pom- 
pous display of your knowledge, and speaking in 
a strain above their comprehension, interspersed 
with hackneyed expressions, or quotations from a 
foreign language, or with scraps of poetry, you 
should accommodate yourself to their capacities, 
and speak in a plain, simple, instructive manner, 
which they can understand and appreciate. It is 
one of the characteristics of a discriminating and 
enlightened mind, to know how to accommodate 
Itself to the condition, employment, and capacities 
of those with whom it converses, so that it can 



CONVERSATION. 367 

iropart and receive information, by an exchange 
of thought with the most ignorant. 

Always give the strictest adherence to truth. 
How dark is the stain cast upon the character of 
the young lady, who is known to deviate from the 
straight line of truth. Veracity is one of the 
brightest jewels of the female character. Never 
allow It tobesulJiedunderany pretence whatever. 
But by a strict adherence to truth in all cases, 
erect a strong pillar for the upholding of a spot- 
less reputation. 

Some young ladies, who reside in our cities 
and villages, when visiting their friends in the 
country, often exhibit a great lack of discretion 
and propriety. While speaking lightly, and per- 
haps contemptuously, of the plain appearance, 
dress, or habits of the people of the country, the 
constant themes of their conversation, are the 
fashions, amusements, and the superior refine- 
ment of a city life. Every thing in city or village 
is extolled, while all in the country is cried out 
against, as outlandish and vulgar. At social par- 
ties, and often at church, their whole time is 
spent in pointing out, and making remarks upon, 
the alleged boorish appearance and manners of 
the people. It is truly surprising that young 
ladies, who indulge in these practices, do not per- 
ceive their impropriety — do not perceive that this 
conduct shows an entire lack of good breeding, 
of genuine politeness and gentility — do not per- 
ceive how evident they make it appear, that those 



3G8 CONVERSATION-. 

very country people whom they ridicule as so fai 
removed from fashion, are immensely above them 
in every valuable and useful qualification, in every 
trait of real urbanity and politeness.* Such 
young ladies should be aware that in this manner 
they make themselves perfectly ridiculous, and 
that in the eyes of the discriminating, they are the 
ones who are deficient in the most valuable qual- 
ifications of ladies. In visiting the country, you 
should go as learnei^s^ and not as instructors — for 
there are many valuable lessons, not only in in- 
dustry, economy and taste, but also in the rules 
of propriety and good manners, that you can 
learn in the country, and profitably put into prac- 
tice when you return. And you should avoid 
pressing upon your country friends, your peculiar 
views of fashion and manners, which too often 
originate in the degrading corruptions of the 
town — and, in general, allude to them no farther 
than to answer inquiries relating to them. Fash- 
ions deeply bordering on indelicacy are some- 
times tolerated by the vitiated taste of the city ; 
but those who should adopt them where the 
purer and more modest taste of the country pre- 
vails, would be justly subjected to ridicule and 
scorn. 

* See definition of politeness, in "A Voice to Youtli," 
^chapter viii. 



CHAPTER XII. 

SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

The importance of self-government to young 
ladies, is so perfectly evident, that it is unneces- 
sary to enter upon a labored argument to prove 
a point so clear. Having endowed us with all the 
powers and faculties necessary for our enjoyment 
and usefulness, our Creator enjoins it upon us to 
bring these capabilities into proper activity, and 
to allow the mental and moral powers to exercise 
that guidance and control for which they are so 
peculiarly adapted. Self-government, therefore, 
is a necessary duty, devolving upon us from our 
constitution and condition. A faithful discharge 
of this duty is one of the most effectual means of 
securing the highest earthly prosperity and en- 
joyment; bat its neglect will as effectually in- 
volve you in the deepest wretchedness. Know 
thyself, and control thyself, are two injunctions 
fruitful in blessino^s. If self-government is neces- 
sary for young men, how much more important 
is its exercise to young women ! — how absolutely 

369 



370 SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

essential to their character and general safety i 
Without its controlling influence, you may ima- 
gine yourself free, but you are in imminent dan- 
ger of a miserable vassalage, a degrading bondage 
to every evil principle, every debasing passion. 
Without it, although you may, for a season, re- 
main respectable, yet you have no assurance that 
ruin and wretchedness will not speedily overtake 
you. Indeed, without a firm and decided self- 
government, it is impossible for you long to re- 
tain a good character, and a common proportion 
cf happiness. 

The basis of strict self-government, rests upon 
a knowledge of your own nature, the character of 
your wants, and the proper manner of supplying 
them, and an enlightened understanding of the 
moral and religious instructions of the Gospel of 
Jesus Christ. A greater or less amount of igno- 
rance upon these points, will, in a proportionate 
degree, involve you in a debasing thraldom to the 
animal propensities, and dim the lustre of your 
higher nature. But become enlightened upon 
these subjects, and to the same extent will you 
be enabled to restrain and control the various 
passions which pertain to your bodily constitu- 
tion. 

A perfect self-government is no trivial achieve- 
ment. " He that is master of his own spirit, is a 
hero indeed." But it is much easier to obtain 
this victory in youth, than in more advanced life. 
If you commence early a habitual self-control, 



SELF-GOVERNMENT. 371 

the passions are easily brought under proper re- 
straint, and you can govern them through life 
without difficulty. But delay until they have ob- 
tained an ascendancy over your higher nature, 
and you can not succeed in reducing them to the 
'control of the mental and moral faculties, without 

^an arduous and afflicting struggle. There need 
be no ignorance respecting the manner of exer- 
cising and enforcing self-control ; for nature has 

' afibrded you every needed requisite. The pro- 
pensities prompt to a certam action, and urge its 
comaiission. The mental faculties enable you 
to discover the real nature of the act, and point 
to the consequences which will flow from it — and 
the moral powers will indicate its character, 
whether right or Avrong, good or evil. Now, self- 
government consists in abiding by, and enforcing, 
the decisions of the mental and moral powers. 
But by giving way to the promptings of the pro- 
pensities, in violation to the dictates of the higher 
faculties, you destroy self-control, and unfailingly 
become involved in wretchedness. 

From these reflections, you perceive that self- 
government should first be exercised upon the 
thoughts. Indeed, I may safely say, this is its 
entire field of operations. Few, if any, actions, 
good or bad, are performed, that are not the sub- 
ject of a mental process — so that the action par- 
takes of the character of the thought. To have 
the actions right, then, the thoughts must be pure 
—and to obtain this purity, the thoughts must be 



372 SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

under the guidance of the mental and moral pow- 
ers, and above the swaying influence of the pas- 
sions. Many seem to imagine it unnecessary to 
exercise any control over tlie thoughts, but allow 
them the entire range of the imagination. "Why 
restrain the thoughts ?'"' says one — " thoughts are 
harmless." Virtuous tlioughts are harmless; but 
all thoughts are not of this character. Those of 
a vicious nature, will sometimes obtrude upon 
the mind, and when allowed to remain there un- 
checked, they become the primary slements of 
sinful actions. But if you exercise a proper self- 
government, and with firmness expel immediate- 
ly such thoughts, when they enter the mental 
abode, they will then have no opportunity to ob- 
tain a foothold, or to exert their poisoning and 
destructive influences. 

In previous chapters, I have noticed several 
suMef'ts That might legitimately come under the 
head of self-government. As it is unnecessary 
to repeat them, it only remains for me to call 
your attention, briefly, to a few additional points, 
in regard to which it is necessary to exercise 
self-control. 

Petulance is a failing strictly to be guarded 
against. This is an unhappy state of mind, to 
which young ladies sometimes give way. To be- 
come irritated at every little circumstance which 
is not perfectly agreeable — to permit the flash "01 
anger to overspread the countenance at every 
trifling offence — will destroy the influence of the 



SELF-GOVERNMENT. S73 

loveliest personal attractions, and cause her who 
exhibits this irascible temper, to become disa- 
greeable to herself and offensive to others. These 
outbreakings of petulance throw you entirely off 
your guard, and while the fit is on, render you 
almost as destitute of the guidance of reason, as 
the monomaniac. Yet you are as accountable 
for your conduct in these paroxysms, as in your 
calmest moments, because it is no excuse for a 
reprehensible action, that it was performed under 
the influence of anger. Many are the Avords and 
the actions of which you are guilty in moments 
of petulance, that you deeply regret when cool 
reflection ensues J and in this manner you sub- 
ject yourself to ridicule and disrespect. A dis- 
position of this character clouds your prospects 
of a respectable and eligible connection. Who 
can desire to be united for life, to one who gives 
every indication of speedily becoming a scold and 
a vixen? 

There is undoubtedly much difference in natu- 
ral temperament, in regard to this disposition. 
Some are quickly excited by circumstances that 
would have but little influence upon others. But 
no one has been endowed with a disposition that 
is ungovernable. By a due cultivation of th« in- 
tellectual and moral powers, and by a proper ex- 
ercise of them in self-government, the most irrita- 
ble disposition can be held in subjection. When- 
ever you discover your temper rising in such 
manner as to threaten an outbreaking, bring it at 

32 



374 " SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

once under the control of the higher sentiments — 
exert reflection for one moment, on the disagreea- 
ble effect and result of such a disposition, and you 
will be greatly aided in self-control. If you feel 
that your irritation is like to exceed command, 
exercise sufficient presence of mind to leave im- 
mediately the company of the offending party, if 
possible, and the effervescence of your anger will 
be the more harmless, and will the sooner sub- 
side. It has been recommended, that when per- 
sons are becoming angry, they should speak in a 
subdued and gentle tone of voice, which would be 
more likely to keep the passions in a calmer state. 
" A soft answer turneth away wrath," says the 
wise man — and not only so, but will cause your 
own anger to subside. Caius Gracchus, the Ro- 
man, was a man of strong passions, which often led 
him into a loud and boisterous manner of speak- 
ing. To remedy this evil, he caused his servant, 
Licinius always to attend him with a pitch-pipe, 
or instrument to regulate the voice, with direc- 
tions that whenever his master raised his voice 
above a certain pitch, he should sound a soft note 
on his pipe. This ingenious expedient had the 
desired effect of keeping Caius within the bounds 
of moderation. If the fair re^ader, when emo- 
tions of anger are kindling in her breast, would 
think of the pitch-pipe of Caius Gracchus, it might 
greatly assist her in allaying its outbreakings. 

Self-government is necessary to avoid violating 
the confidence reposed in you. In your inter- 



SELF-GOVERNMENT. 375 

course with your associates, many circum&tances 
will be communicated to you with injunctions of 
secresy. There are some who, it would seem, 
are entirely incapable of keeping a secret any 
length of time. The moment they obtain it, al 
though, perhaps, profuse in protestations of invi- 
olability, they are as restless with their charge, 
as though they were pressing coals of fire. They 
give themselves no peace, day nor night, until the 
privacy is divulged in a delightful gossip with 
some other secret-hunter, who receives it with 
like promises of silence, only to be again broken 
in like manner. Others receive confidential com- 
munications, with an honest mental resolve that 
they will not divulge them. But in an unguarded 
moment, the secret is revealed to some intimate 
friend, from whom it flies to another, and another, 
until it finally becomes entirely public. This 
imbecility is wholly owing to a lack of self-gov- 
ernment. There is much prudence to be observed 
in receiving communications of a confidential 
character. You should never pledge your word 
to keep a secret, until you ascertain something of 
its nature— or should never make such pledge, 
without a reservation against concealing any fact 
that duty would require you to divulge. If re- 
ports are repeated to you, calculated to'injure the 
character or peace of an innocent individual, how- 
ever strong may be the injunctions to secresy, 
you should unhesitatingly reveal them to the per- 
son to whom they relate, that wrong may be pre- 



376 SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

vented or remedied. But when a friend reposes 
confidence in you, and communicates information 
which no clear duty calls upon you to divulge, 
you should lock the secret in your breast, and 
never, without permission, reveal it to the most 
intimate companion. Under these circumstances, 
you should strictly conform to the golden rule, 
, and keep the secrets of another, as you would 
have another keep yours. And by exercising that 
self-control which all can command, you can suc- 
ceed in this determination, to a most perfect de- 
gree. While upon this subject, permit me to 
remark, that it is exceedingly improper to impor- 
tune or endeavor, in any way, to wring from 
others, secrets which they desire not to divulge. 
Politeness and propriety direct, whenever an evi- 
dent disinclination is manifested to reveal any 
thing of a confidential nature, that you should 
forbear further solicitations, and remain silent in 
respect to it. 

Strive to be contented with your condition. 
"A contented mind is a continual feast," says the 
old maxim truly. Contentment is an unceasing 
fountain of enjoyment. Without it, all condi- 
tions, however elevated or prosperous, are alike 
barren of happiness. In this manner — under the 
influence of contentment — the peasant in his cot- 
tage, is often vastly more happy than the mon- 
arch in his gorgeous palace. 

"Hail, blest estate of lowliness, 
Happy enjoyments of sucli mi»4s 



SELF-GOVERNMENT. 377 

As, rich in pure contentedness, 

Can, like the reeds in roughest winds, 
By yielding, make that blow but small, 
By which proud oaks and cedars fall." 

It is important that young ladies should strive to 
be contented with their condition. The influen- 
ces of a disposition of an opposite character, will 
not only make them unhappy, but will be liable to 
lead them into efforts to change their circumstan- 
ces, that may be indiscreet, yea, positively dan- 
gerous. Wisdom and prudence dictate that they 
should qualify themselves for a faithful and use- 
ful discharge of duties, which, from any change 
of circumstances, may devolve upon them ; but, 
in the meantime, to remain contented with their 
present circumstances, until opportunity shall of- 
fer for a prudent change. A trifling exercise of 
self-government, in this respect, can not but be 
highly beneficial. 

Never allow yourself to dislike thos^e wjjio 
would counsel you. Young people are liable to 
indulge in this feeling. Whenever parents or 
friends would dissuade them from those things 
that would exert a deleterious influence upon 
their prosperity and happiness, they sometimes 
iook upon them as needlessly opposing their en- 
joyments, and hence allow a feeling of dislike 
to arise against them. But this is highly im- 
proper. " Love those who advise you, not those 
who praise you," says Boileau. Think not those 
unkind who would caution you respecting your 
conduct. They harbor no evil design against 
32* 



378 selp-govrrnment. 

you — their only object in counselling you, is yout 
benefit. Had they no regard for your welfare, 
had they no interest in your peace and prosperity, 
they would remain silent. But being alive to 
your happiness — cherishing a deep solicitude that 
you should be respected and iionored — they watch 
over you with careful scrutiny, and would direct 
you in those paths which, while free from dan- 
ger, will lead you into permanent peace and en- 
joyment. In this light should you look upon 
their admonitions. You should allow their exer- 
tions in your behalf, to awaken sentiments of es- 
teem and gratitude, rather than dislike. And 
with a knowledge of their kind intentions, you 
should permit their advice to have a deep and 
abiding influence upon you. 

Finally, study your own nature and disposi- 
tion; learn your respective duties toward God, 
your fellow-beings, and yourself — cherish the 
resolution to discharge them faithfully — and the 
work of self-government will not be difficult of 
irksome. 



CHAPTER XIIL 

MARRIAGE. 

While it may not, perhaps, be necessary to 
lirge young ladies to reflect upon the subject of 
marriage, yet it is all-important that they should 
be counselled to retiect aright in regard k) it. — 
Marriage is one of the most important events in 
the life of woman. It effects a total revolution 
in her circumstances. It introduces her into a 
new field of existence — to new scenes, duties, 
trials and responsibilities. Her peace, happiness, 
and prosperity, throughout the remaining portion 
of her earthly existence, depend mainly upon the 
circumstances under which she enters into this 
union. To young ladies, then, marriage should 
be a subject of deep, solemn, mature deliberation 
It should be divested of all romantic imagina- 
tions, and be viewed as an event of a character 
so momentous, as to give shape to their destiny — > 
a change which is to decide whether theirs is to 
be happiness or sorrow, peace or wretchedness, 
through life. 

379 



380 MARRIAGE. 

With these self-evident remarks in view it 
would seem quite unnecessary to caution young 
ladies against entering rashly and without suffi- 
cient premeditation into the married state. And 
yet how many rush blindfolded as it were, into 
this connexion for life ! How many, under the 
influence of some romantic, evanescent attach- i 
ment, arising irom frivolous circumstances, or 
the most empty and fleeting attractions, confide 
their happiness to the keeping of those every way 
unworthy of a trust so important, and who are 
utterly incapable of sincere love, or generous sen- 
timent ! A long life of contention, of bitterness, 
may be, of poverty and want, and degradation, 
too late convinces them of their early folly. I 
repeat, therefore, that an event of so much im- 
portance, and upon which depend so many seri- 
ous and long continued consequences, should be 
a matter of the most serious and prayerful reflec- 
tion to young ladies. And the necessity of pre- 
cautionary meditation is strengthened by the re- 
flection, that a mis-step in this event, is irrepara- 
ble. When once the union has been formed, no 
awakening from a dreaming delusion, no discov- 
ery of mistaken views, or unconfirmed anticipa- 
tions, or unrequited aflection, no regret, or sor- 
row, or despondency, can dissolve its ties and 
restore the deceived one to her former condition. 
A life deeply clouded with wretchedness, is the 
unavoidable forfeiture of her rashness. 

My first precaution to young ladies, in regard 



MARRIAGE. 381 

to matrimony, is not to enter upon it too young. 
Thousands of females are brought to a premature 
grave by neglect upon this point. Marriage 
should never be consummated until the body has 
obtained full growth and maturity — which in 
females, is seldom before the age of twenty or 
twenty-two. A violation of this rule, induces a 
long train of evils,* as all can perceive who will 
make the slightest observation in community. 
Another objection, in addition to destruction of 
health, is, that females must arrive at years of 
reflection and discretion, before they can possess 
that maturity of judgment, so essential to the 
efficient discharge of the responsible duties, which 
devolve upon the head of a family. I have en- 
deavored to show in a previous chapter, the evils 
which flow from this lack of knowledge and judg- 
ment, to the lady herself, and those connected 
with her. 

Beware of early and hasty entanglements. 
Many young ladies entertain the opinion that it 
is very romantic to fall in love at first sight. How- 
ever appropriate and delightful this may be in a 
lackadaisical novel, believe me, it is an unwise 
and very silly practice in real life, and calls in 
question very decidedly, the good sense of her 
who is guilty of it. The afiections have little or 
no power of penetration and research of their 
own. They view things upon the surface, and 

* See Combe's Moral Philosophy, Lecture V. 



382 MARRIAGE. 

when uncontrolled, are captivated by what ap- 
pears pleasing, without any regard to intrinsic 
worth, or real merit. Hence, as appearances are 
exceedingly deceitful, if the affections are with- 
out guide, they are as liable to be centered upon 
a worthless object, if it has but a fair exterior, as 
upon one of value. Consequently, this falling in 
love at first sight, is extremely dangerous, and 
should be especially guarded against by young 
ladies. Our Creator has placed the affections 
under the control of the intellectual powers — the 
reason — the judgment — and they should be per- 
mitted to decide as to the worth and excellence 
of every object, before the affections are allowed 
to settle upon it. In pursuing this course the re- 
sult seldom fails of being auspicious. Young 
ladies should bo exceedingly cautious to keep 
their affections under their own control, and nev- 
er allow them to concentrate upon an individual, 
until they are perfectly satisfied that he is wor- 
thy of the riches of their love. 

In connection with this precaution, is another 
of equal importance. Never engage in a hasty 
marriage. Many instances have transpired with- 
in my own observation, and undoubtedly, within 
the observation of the reader, where parties have 
married after an acquaintance of but a few days 
or weeks I It is needless to dwell upon the e.r- 
Ireme da^iger of this practice — especially to the 
lady. What a consummation of imprudence and 
folly, to connect yourself for life, with one who 



MARRIAGE. 383 

is virtually a stranger— of whose character, prin- 
,ciples and habits you have no safe ground to 
judge correctly ! This is, indeed, making mar- 
riage " a lottery." If you imitate this example, 
the chances are a thousand to one, that you will 
draw a blank !-—y ea, much worse than a blank, 
an unworthy and unprincipled companion ! Be- 
ware, then, of a hasty marriage, as you value 
your happiness. For, although, in this manner, 
you may possibly secure an eligible connexion, 
yet the chances of a contrary result are so nu- 
merous, that prudence and safety will not war- 
rant the hazard. 

Equal caution is necessary against entering in 
to premature and rash engagements. They of- 
ten lead to great evils. Before you pledge your 
" troth," you should know perfectly, the charac- 
ter of your suitor, and his prospects in life. And 
it is also highly necessary, before you make any 
engagement, to consult your parents or guardian, 
and even some intimate friend, in relation to its 
propriety. Conceal from them nothing on this 
point. If even after you are engaged, you discov- 
er in him who pays his addresses to you, any 
new trait of character, hitherto unseen, which 
you have good reason to believe would be a bar 
to your happiness were you united with him, 
break off the engagement immediately, and at all 
hazards. Your future peace and prosperity de- 
mand it — and justice, honor and religion will 
sanction your decision ! 




384 MARRIAGE. 

"Abhor the very idea of clandestine connexions 
as a violation of every duty you owe to God and 
man. There is nothing heroic in a secret corre- 
spondence. The silliest girls and weakest men 
can maintain it, and have been most frequently 
engaged in it. Spurn the individual who would 
come between you and your natural guardians. 
Hearken to the opinions of your parents, with all 
that deference which is due to them. Rare are 
the cases in which you should act in opposition 
to their wishes." ( 

Never marry a fop. By a fop, I mean a man 
whose whole attention and mind are entirely en- 
grossed by dress and exterior embellishments — 
he who views the hue or set of a garment as of 
greater importance than industry and economy, 
than honesty of intention, purity of heart, and 
t4ie cultivation of the mind ! Such an individual 
may possess comely features, may make a fine 
appearance, and display gentility in manners, yet 
he is swayed by no truly valuable characteristic 
— by none of that worthiness which is so essen- 
tial to matrimonial happiness. He cannot appre- 
ciate the real excellencies of the female heart, 
and is incapable of cherishing pure and genuine 
affection. To unite your destiny with such a 
man, would be placing your happiness upon a 
sandy foundation. 

Do not marry an indolent man. To become 
the wife of an individual of this character, would 
be to subject yourself, iu all human probability, 



MARRIAGE. 385 

to poverty and all its accompanying evils. If he 
possesses no property at the commencement of 
matrimonial life, you may be assured there is lit- 
tle probability of his thriving afterward. The 
young man who, under ordinary circumstances, 
has not sufficient industry and energy to acquire 

, some property before marriage, will not be likely 
to do so with the cares and expenses of a family 
upon him. Even if he has some possessions, 

' there is no certainty that he will long retain 
them. He who is too indolent to acquire prop- 
erty, will be too negligent to retain, for any 
great length of time, that which he may already 
possess. 

Be equally cautious not to marry a spendthrift. 
The same, or w^orse consequences will follow 
this indiscretion, as in the instance last referred 
to. The spendthrift may be industrious — people 
of this character often are — but of what avail is 
his industry, if he squanders the fruit of his exer- 
tions in some frivolous and useless manner, as 
fast as it accumulates ? He may be wealthy ; but 
the riches of such a man are as the early dew be- 
fore the rays of the sun — they will speedily van- 
ish away, and leave poverty and wretchedness 
behind — the more keenly felt, because of former 
prosperity. And, besides, the spendthrift, in his 
extravagance, is liable to, and usually does, ac- 
quire vicious habits, which accelerate the ruin 
and seal the misery of himself and his family. 
You can ascertain without difficulty, the charac- 

33 



386 MARRIAGE. 

ter of a young man in this respect. If he e» 
pends all his income in vain amusements, while 
he is single, you may be quite certain he will 
continue a course as bad, or even worse, after en- 
tering the married state. " I have in my eye at 
this moment, an accomplished female, (and it 
were easy to adduce a thousand similar cases,) 
who married a man of vast wealth, but of prodi- 
gal habits ; and years have passed away since 
that immense fortune has gone to the winds ; and 
the last remains of it were squandered amidst the 
tears, and in spite of the tender and earnest ex- 
postulations of a suffering family. And now, if I 
should look for that once rejoicing and apparently 
fortunate bride, I should go to an obscure cabin 
of wretchedness, and should find her laboring 
with her own hands, to provide bread for her more 
than orphan children, and she would tell me a, 
tale of wo, which, however familiar to me, would 
make me sit down and weep. This same man, 
who has plunged her and her little ones into so 
much wretchedness, possesses many naturally 
amiable qualities, and is gifted with enviable pow- 
ers of mind, but, unhappily, in early life, he be- 
came a spendlhrifl: and on this rock the fortunes 
of himself and of his family were wrecked. If 
you should ever give yourself to a man of similar 
character, you need not be disappointed if yCHl 
should experience a similar destiny."* 

♦ Daughter's Own Book. 



MARRIAGE. 387 

Never marry an intemperate man. This is a 
precaution that young ladies cannot be too care- 
ful to observe. How many, by neglecting this 
admonition, have been plunged into the deepest 
misery ! Of all the evils that afflict the marriage 
state, intemperance stands in the front rank. It 
transforms the kind and loving husband into a 
savage brute — the tender and affectionate father 
into an unfeeling tyrant. Oh ! how much evil, 
how much dark, cruel wretchedness, has been car- 
ried into the happiest family circles by intemper- 
ance ! It has cast the mildew of despair upon 
the fairest, brightest hopes of life ! It has caused 
shivering poverty to creep in, with its rags, its 
hunger, and want, where formerly all was plenty, 
comfort, and peace. What must be the wretched- 
ness of that family where the cheek of the wife 
pales with fear, and the children flee from the 
house, or cling tremblingly to the mother for pro- 
tection, when the inebriated husband and father 
reels toward his miserable home ! In the phrensy 
of intoxication, he beats his defenceless and heart- 
broken companion, tramples upon his mnocent 
offspring, and demolishes what-ever is valuable 
within his reach, unmindful alike of tears, and en- 
treaties, and supplications. If there is any thing 
that can approach the character of the fabled de- 
mon, it is man in the wild paroxysms of drunk- 
enness! 

Young woman, I beg you, listen to me ! As 
you value your peace and happiness — as you val- 



388 MARRIAGE. 

ue respectability and good standing in commu- 
nity — form a firm, unelFaceable determination, in 
the deep recesses of your soul, never, never lo 
become the companion of a man given to intem- 
perance ! Yea, I beseech you to go still farther, 
and firmly resolve not to marry a man who is 
accustomed, habitually, to drink intoxicating li- 
quors as a beverage, of any character, or however 
temperately or discreetly ! The great danger is, 
you have no assurance, and can have none, that 
he who drinks moderately now, will not hereafter 
become involved in the deepest abyss of intem- 
perance. He is travelling the very way, and the 
only way, that leads to it — the way which all in- 
temperate men pursued in their downward career. 
In what possible manner (except by total abstin- 
ence) can you become satisfied that he will not, 
ere long, be one among their wretched number ! 
You should not accept, nor give any countenance 
to the addresses of a '■^ drinking''^ young man. 
Even after you nave become " engaged," if you 
ascertain that your intended companion is given 
to habits oi intemperance, you would be justified 
by every equitable law, human and divine, in im- 
mediately dissolving the engagement. But I can 
not enlarge upon this important topic. Young 
ladies of good sense must perceive that their 
safety and happiness demand that they should 
avoid all connexion with men of intemperate hab- 
its. Better, infinitely better, remain in "single 
blessedness" all your days, than to place yourseli 



MARRIAGE. 389 

tn a condition to be made wretched by a drunken 
husband ! 

I think it not improper or unnecessary, that 
young ladies should take into consideration the 
health of those who would become united to 
them. I know of no good reason why a young 
woman should be connected with a man who, 
from constitutional causes, is or probably soon 
will be incapacitated to superintend a family. 
You should endeavor to exercise proper precau- 
tion upon this point. It is true, all are liable to 
disease, and its unhappy consequences ; and ali 
I would caution you respecting this subject, is, to 
act prudently in regard to placing your affections 
upon an individual who is laboring under a con- 
stitutional and incurable disease, which would 
probably be transmitted to his offspring.* 

In selecting a husband, you should not be too 
fastidious in regard to his personal beauty, his oc- 
cupation, or the amount of his property. These 
are unimportant circumstances, provided all other 
qualifications abound. He may be plain in per- 
son, yet beautiful in moral and mental accom- 
plishments. He may be poor in property, yet 
rich in affection, kindness, and all those social 
qualifications that minister so highly to domestic 
happiness — and as to the want of property, it is 
an evil that can, in general, soon be removed by 
industry and economy. His occupation may be 

* See Combe's Constitution of Man. 
33* 



390 MARRIAGE. 

of a common order, but if it is proper and useful, 
it will not lessen your respect in the eyes of the 
enlightened and discreet. 

While there are many qualifications that would 
be pleasing in a husband, there are some indis- 
pensably requisite. He should be engaged in 
some laudable occupation or profession — he 
should be industrious, economical, honest — of 
good habits, of a kind and benevolent disposition, 
strictly moral and temp€rate, and should also 
possess an unwavering belief in the doctrines 
and precepts of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He 
who is destitute of any of those qualifications, 
should be avoided. But with a young man who 
possesses these characteristics, you may rational- 
ly anticipate a happy union, and a life of as much 
enjoyment as is usually allotted to mortals in 
this mutable world. 

This " Voice to the Young" now ceases. It 
its tones have, in any degree, enlightened the 
minds of my readers, or infused a virtuous influ- 
ence into their hearts, or opened their eyes to 
dangers that surround them, the object for which 
is has been sounded^ is accomplished. 



39i 



APPENDIX. 



Note. — It is with high satisfaction that I invite 
the attention of the reader to a recent publication, 
which is worthy of a wide circulation. I refer to 
"Bolles' Phonographic Pronouncing Dictionary." 
The chief characteristic of this Dictionary, in ad- 
dition to the orthography and definition of words, is 
its perfect facility for arriving at a correct pronun- 
ciation of every word in the English language. It 
contains, also, a vocabulary of Greek and Latin pro'- 
per names — Scripture proper names — Christian or 
given names — and geographical names — with their 
proper pronunciation. I consider it a work of great 
value. To students — especially those who design to 
become public speakers — to school teachers, and all 
who would become correct readers — ^its worth is be« 
yond estimate. J. M. A, 

May, 1847. 



ADVERTISEMENT. 

Bolles' Phonographic Pronouncing Dictionary. 

This valuable work contains over eighty-Jive thousand 
words, beside some twenty thousand proper names ; and 
from its peculiar mode of giving the pronunciation of 
words by omitting all silent letters, it is believed to be 
unsurpassed in point of merit by any other work of the 
kind. From the numerous testimonials in its favor, we 
make the following extracts : 

•From Joseph Holdich, Professor of Moral Science and Belles Lettrea 
in the Wesleyan University. 

Wesleyan University, Oct. 14, 1846. 
Messrs. Bolles & Williams — Gentlemen : I deem it my 
duty to express to you my high approbation of your 
Phonographic Pronouncing Dictionary. Taking it alto- 
gether, I know of no work equal to it. The great num- 
ber of words it contains, the clearness and accuracy of 
the definitions, together with the method of denoting the 
pronunciation, give it very superior advantages, and en- 
title the editor to great praise. 

Yours, very truly, JOSEPH HOLDICH. 

From the Rev. Samuel H. Cox, D. D. 
I have seen and inspected a copy of the Phonographic 
Dictionary of Mr. Bolles, and am gratified with its ap- 
pearance and promise, as a valuable accession to the 
scientific and practical Orthoepy of our composite and 
diflScult language. I consider his work as an honor to 
our country, and a rich contribution to the Lexicography 
of the English Language. SAMUEL H. COX. 

From F. H. "Weld, Principal of the Seekonk Classical Seminary. 

November 20, 1846. 

Mr. Bolles — Dear Sir : I have examined with much 
care the Phonographic Pronouncing Dictionary of the 
English Language. I have no hesitation in saying, that 
I know of no work better calculated to aid us in the ac- 
quisition of a correct pronunciation of the English lan- 
guage, while at the same time its definitions will bear a 
favorable comparison with the best similar work of the 
age. I shall hereafter use it as a text book in the Semi- 
nary under my care. P. H. WELD. 

Athenian Academy, Rahway, N. J. 
After an examination of Bolles' Dictionary, I feel it in- 
cumbent to state, that I believe it possesses several fea- 
tures which should recommend it to the public in pref- 
erence to any other with which I am acquainted. It 



ADVERTISEMENT. 

possesses an excellent arrangement — and the pronuncia- 
tion being spelled, renders it superior to Webster's, while 
it also contains several thousand more words. In short, 
no work which has fallen under my notice, could be 
more properly or advantageously introduced into the 
Schools of our country. JAMES ANDERSON, 

Principal Athenian Academy. 
1 fully concur in the above. 

WM. J. THOMPSON, Rector of Rut- 
ger's College Grammar School. 

New Pronoiincing Dictionary, edited by Wm. Bolles. — 
We should think it the most useful Dictionary of the 
English Language ever published. — Boston Atlas. 

This volume supplies a want which has long been felt, 
and gives the public a Pronouncing Dictionary both ac- 
curate and extensive. It deserves to come into general 
use, to the exclusion of all other pronouncing dictiona- 
ries. — Ladies' National Magazine. 

It is a most valuable work. — Zion^s Herald and Wes- 
leyan Journal. 

It is the most complete vocabulary ever published, and 
of course will be extensively consulted. — Hartford Cou- 
rant. 

Bolles' Phonographic Pronouncing Dictionary is the 
best dictionary in the English language. — Boston Post. 

A work of great I'esearch. — Godey's Magazine and 
Ladies' Book. 

It supplies a want which we have often felt, and doubt- 
less many others also ; for a good pronouncing diction- 
ary has been quite a rarity in the bookstores. — New York 
Commercial Advertiser. 

Publislied by J. Bolles, 57 Fulton Street, 
New Ifork, and. Bolles &> Williams, New Lou-* 
don, Ct« 



ADVERTISEMENT. 

OnB.]SN HUTCHINSON, 

Agent for the Purchase, Sale, & Exchange of Books, 

57 Fulton Street, Wew York, 

Has facilities for furnishing public and private Libraries 
on the best terms, and respectfully solicits calls from 
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Particular attention paid to the selection of books for 
SCHOOL AND SUNDAY SCHOOL LIBRARIES. 

The quantities of trash. in the form of juvenile books, 
with which the market is flooded, renders great care 
necessary, if we would place in the hands of the young 
books adapted to their moral improvement, and at the 
same time free from doctrines that set different religious 
sects at war with each other. There is nothing in the 
»j3irit of Christianity but what every Christian will ap- 
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Lilla Hart, - - - - 

The Maiden, 
Keeping up Appearances, 

Illustrations of the Law of Kindness, by Rev. G. W. 
Montgomery, -------50 

A Voice to Youth, revised edition, by Rev. J. M. 

Austin, 63 to 75 

Merchant's Widow, - - by Mrs. Sawyer, 50 
Officer's Widow, - - - by Mrs. Hoffland, 38 
Integrity, -._-"" «« 38 

Energy, ..,."» « 38 

Decision, --..<'» " 38 

Moderation, .:--<'" " 38 

Young Cadet, ..-«'" « 38 

Young Pilgrimj - - - " " » 33 



by Mrs. Judson, 


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ADVERTISEMENT. 



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The Ornaments Discovered, by Mrs. Hughes, 38. 

Riches Without Wings, - " Mrs. Seba Smith, 38 

Home, - - - _ " Miss Sedgwick, 40 

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Early Friendships, - - " " " 38 

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Little Coin, Much Care, - " " " 

Which is the Miser 1 - - " « « 

Who shall be Greatest, 

Hope on, Hope ever, - 

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AUce Franklin, - 

My Uncle, the Clockmaker, • 

Crofton Boys, 

Peasant and Prince, 

Looking-glass for the Mind, - - - - 38 

Tired of Housekeeping, - " T. S. Arthur, - 38 

Never too Late, - - - " Charles Burdet, 38 

Chances and Changes, - " " " 38 

Anecdotes from Ancient History, - - - 31 

Childs' Instructor. Persevere and Succeed. 

I will be a Gentleman. I will be a Lady. 

Traditions of Palestine. Onward, right Onward. 

Dawnings of Genius. 

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" " " 38 

u " " 38 

by Harriet Martlneau, 38 

" " " ^ 



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